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Nov 6, 2010 - 11:02 AM
HD Projectors
Does anyone know much about them? If some higher being reading this does, I need to know which one is best for gaming/film a-watchin'. My budget is about £300, so obviously I know I won't get THE BEST but whatever.

In other news, I graduated Uni, yay!! In other other news, I'm unemployed, yaaay!!

Currently Playing: 4minute - Highlight

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[public entry #107]

Nov 26, 2009 - 06:11 PM
I got a job on a film set for a cheesy horror film!!
Sure i'll be a runner, but who cares! Gotta love low budget horror films! The guy who runs it looks like a right character:

I'm so excited, sure I've got a dissertation to do and a film of my own to plan, but there's nothing like a bit of work to whack on the good ol' CV for when I graduate.

Also, as a brit with American friends - it's awesome tagging along to their Thanksgiving shenanigans. I ordered 2 meals for myself, 2 for £10 get in! I can officially say I am a fatso. But it doesn't matter "it's Thanksgiving".

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[public entry #106]

Nov 13, 2009 - 12:56 PM
Internet Friendships...your creative opinions?
Ok guys, I need some opinions here and what better place to come than the place that's full of them!

Basically, for my 3rd and final year at Uni I have to create a 10 minute film. An idea I've had in my head for a while is a sort of conceptual piece on Internet friendships. Now, what I mean by that is basically visual metaphors for what it means to be close to someone online...

I know it sounds pretty weird, but I'm really excited about doing this project because it gives me a chance to do some cool cinematography and set designs without calling it an experimental film.

The narrative as it were would be a visual representation of the virtual world that these two people submit themselves into when they talk online. It's not necessarily a love story, because I wouldn't want it to do sexual imagary ifyouknowwhatimean.

So, think about a time where you felt incredibly drawn and connected to someone online, someone you've never met. Think about the feeling it gave you when you got to talk to them, now try and imagine a visual metaphor for this.

For example, the things I've come up with so far, is someone in a room full of writing on a wall. So the writing doesn't appear just on the computer screen, but in someones environment, as if those words wrap themselves around something physical around them like the sound of those words would travel through the air.
Another thing is like a prison type visitor booth (dunno what they're called!), and the two people are on both sides but they can only see a blurred version of each other, because the computer screen acts as a barrier for both people.
An idea I've had that I'd love to do just because I love them, is like a masquerade ball. I want to recreate the Labyrinth ballroom scene =D. I'm not sure how I'd link it as a metaphor but god dammit I will try and think!

Any relevant ideas will be uber helpful!

Added note: If you don't have any visual metaphors of your experiences, just describing the feelings/emotions is all good. It works as great research.

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[public entry #105]

Nov 8, 2009 - 05:16 PM
"Can I have a smooch?"
So. There's this guy. In my first year at Uni he takes me out on a date. I didn't actually know it was a date until I was on it, I kind of got the impression after he started paying for everything and the such. I liked the guy, he was really really nice, but at the time I was already head over heals about my now ex boyfriend. He kinda dropped off the radar since then.

Recently we started talking again, we met up a total of two times before the events of Friday evening. On both of these occasions, we were talking just as friends do. Friday night was just the same, chit chatting away for a while. No flirting, no suggestiveness, no 'date' setting etc.

On the way home, when we were parting ways, I give him a hug and say have fun on holiday since he's going away. As we part, he stays close to me and I know in my head what is coming next. I look to the floor, feeling slightly nervous about the impending moment that is about to happen. After a line of continued conversation, he blurts it out: "So...can I have a smooch?"

1. Who says smooch and 2. What? I was so taken off guard by the whole thing I nervously laughed and asked why?! If the guy had been flirting with me or being suggestive on previous occasions then maybe I would've seen it coming. And by it I mean perhaps a small peck to test the waters. I dunno, I really just wanted to take things slow with the guy because I don't even know if I like him in that sense. But now steps have been taken that screwed up the whole process and BLARGH.

We cleared things up and he apologised for over stepping the mark, but I still kinda feel a twang of sadness that he was so keen to just kiss me and fuck off to Hungary for a week. I'm not sure, I'll still meet up with him because he's a cool guy and maybe something will spark with him, but I don't 'smooch' people for the hell of it.


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[public entry #104]

Nov 6, 2009 - 08:32 AM
Completely uninspired to write
I have a methodology report to do for my dissertation, and I know what I need to write but when I stare at the document I can't seem to do it. It's like my mind says "NO! NOT GONNA!" and I'm left with this blank feeling in my brains. It's awful ;_;. I know I'll DO it, it's just getting started and finding the right motivation. It's a feeling I've been getting a lot recently, as well as the feeling that I'll fail at life when I leave Uni and try and find a job.

The real world scares me ;_;.

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[public entry #103]

Nov 3, 2009 - 05:23 AM
Stupid boy thingy and a cleaner who doesn't clean
So I walked past said boy yesterday, the one who I said uhhh gfto of my life to, and I got like this surge of nervous energy. My heart was pounding and I fell into a right weird spot. I don't regret anything, but god damn bumping into the person you've said bye to forevah is pretty intense stuff. I sorta looked out of the corner of my eye, and I think he looked my way, but who knows. Right at the key moment of passing my friend asks me "Did you get the Contain materia from the Chocobo in Medeel?" (I actually didn't, fail!)

I'm in a student house, a very nice student house, a very expensive student house, and the landlord insists on getting a cleaner in once and month to you know...clean. The first one she hires didn't turn up, the second one was nice and put a lot of effort into trying to spruce up the place but apparently she wasn't good enough so she fired her, and now we have her MOTHER cleaning for us. She's almost dead and has one hell of an attitude on her. Everytime she's been here she's mentioned to "clear the shit out of the front room"...what you mean is you want US to do YOUR job. And for the record, the 'shit' she is refering to is you know, a few glasses, a magazine, a few controllers, dvd mouldy takeaway boxes or anything of the sort. It's so annoying! I swear she's always gasping for life whenever she's around. And her cleaning isn't that great either! We do better than her!


I have a shit load of work that needs to be done. A research portfolio for my dissertation for next Thursday. Really need to get cracking with that one.

MY BROTHER IS 30! WTF. Am I old now?!

Currently Playing: Deadlock - Dying Breed

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[public entry #102]

Nov 1, 2009 - 08:45 AM
The first movie in about 10 years to make me scared of the dark. Seriously creepy shit. In my opinion, this film has the closest to perfect representation of ghosts in a horror film I've seen...exactly how I imagined them to be. Great Halloween movie! Can't wait for Paranormal Activity...

In other news, I cut out someone from my life for good. Very weird thing to do really, and I know he deserved it. Basically, it was my ex boyfriend (typical huh?). We were going out for a year, he broke up with me because he said he didn't have time for a girlfriend in his 3rd year at Uni (we were finishing our 2nd year going into the 3rd at the time). Well now he's going out with someone else...fair enough he's moved on from me, but I do not want to be messed around by a liar. He said nothing to my reasons, which is sort of nagging on me but it wouldn't change anything if he was apologetic or angry or whatever. But yes...very strange. Dreading the moment when I bump into him, I know I'll walk straight by but I know my heart will go crazy inside my chest.

I have a lot of work to do, but for once I feel like I'm on top of it. Really annoying though, you can order books from other libraries at our Uni, so I ordered 3 and I misread the due date as 1/11/09. There's a £133.50 late fee charged (not shitting you) so I was skim reading the shit out of them and photocopying so much thinking I would have to give them back today. It turns out after panicking the library is closed on a Sunday that looking closer they're due back 1/12/2009...Le sigh. But still, I get them for longer =).

I'm going to have an It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia marathon with a good friend of mine today, we bonded over the show so it's only fitting we gorge ourselves on terrible food and laugh our asses off.

I've had 3 Matt Bellamy dreams in the last 3 nights. All of them have been awesome.

I used to love using this smiley

That's the most journaly like entry I've made in a while, 0 comments await!

Currently Playing: Paramore - Oh, Star

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[public entry #101]

Oct 21, 2009 - 02:40 PM
Seriously guys, who.

To the shock of everyone who may read this...I have never played FF7 before. But because I lurked around here while I was 12 in the Square Forum I was pretty clued in on the story (a bitch gets stabbed), so since PSN released the game and after Timby purchased it and demanded I should play it, I'm giving it a whirl.

Now all these questions of who should be my trio is lurking in my brains. I quite like the Cloud/Tifa combination because the bitch is hot and Cloud is STAPLE. WHO IS MA THIRD?! I'm thinking Yuffie...then maybe Vincent.

In other news...sup. I'm at Uni doing my 3rd year, DISSERTATION TIMEEEE.

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[public entry #100]

Jun 26, 2009 - 05:44 PM
Not really, but I'm surely not keeping up with my usual fitness routine. Which isn't all that harsh, but I figured if I want that ideal bikini summer body then I should start doing something a bit more brutal. Since I'll be back home with the 'rents over the summer, I'll be away from the gym which means I have to RUN.

It won't be too bad, since there's a canal nearby that I can run down and hide away from complete public exposure. All I have to do is avoid the homeless trying to push me in or being mugged and we're all good. I'd take my most agile dog, but god damn he doesn't listen when I call him.

I'm thinking of running as far as I can 3 times a week, with some ab exercises inbetween, and of course I'll watch what I eat and cut down on the snacks and pop. The pudge and boobage loss chart will be on the fridge for all to see.

In other news, house mate discussed in previous entry came home, said a few hello's and was being ok but then stayed at her friends house. Said friend also came with her, probably for some sort of support system. I almost, almost gave in to her wounded animal emotional behaviour, but got the sense talked back into me. It was a close call but I pulled through. If she wants to play that card then fine. FINEEE!

GFF EUROPE MEET! I'm really looking forward to this going ahead, it'll be a bit weird what with me having no idea where or what I'll be doing upon graduation but hopefully I can make it happen.

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[public entry #99]

Jun 22, 2009 - 11:24 AM
House drama...and a picture for Sass
Last year I meet friend through friend. Very nice girl.

We all start living together. Cool.

Halfway through the year girl starts complaining about her smallish room and says she'll move out if she can't swap with someone with a big room. Gay.

I root myself into my decision to stay in my nice big room, but after realising the hassle it will be to move out, since the landlord likes groups of people to know each other, I stand up and say I'll swap. Fine.

Over time I realise I clash with girl more and more, what with myself being quite a blunt outspoken person and her being a bit of an emotional naive girl who is very sensitive. Bad times.

Over the weekend she asks me if we can swap the rooms 3 days before I leave for the summer, time I want to spend chilling out and enjoying those last moments of glorious sea side freedom. No chance.

Drama happens, she rings me in a fit of tears saying I'm being selfish and not taking her feelings into consideration and I should have the courtesy to move out of my room in the middle of the summer holidays. Problem with that, I need to work through the summer since I'm almost out of money. Not a chance in hell.

Finally after a much annoying conversation with a teary girl who is in the mental state of a teenager, she calms down and says fine she'll move when I get back. But she just HAD to end it on the "oh well I'll just have to live with a friend over the summer then because I just can't handle this situation". FINE BY ME.


She'll be back from her home visit Wednesday, I plan on making myself scarce to avoid more guilt trips. If she can suck it up and act normal then that'll be ideal, but I highly doubt it.


The picture for Sass, and anyone else bothered, it's our chickens! They're a right little gang of egg making mafia type creatures. They even charged at my dog when she went too close to the hutch.

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[public entry #98]

Jun 19, 2009 - 03:52 AM
Rosetta Stone anyone??
I'm going to Italy in September and I figured I'd try and brush up on some basic Italian to get by with. Since I've heard good things about this programme I thought I'd give it a little download, but the one that I found was way confusing to install and the .exe file just wouldn't work. So does anyone have a link towards a version that is easy enough to install and actually works?

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[public entry #97]

Jun 14, 2009 - 11:36 AM
Back home...and bored on day 2
I came home for a birthday celebration this weekend. I surprised my parents by just showing up, since I've always wanted to do that. It was great, my Dad was shocked for about an hour later and my Mum just screamed. I do like surprising people.

Met up with my friends yesterday and had an amazing day. Today a friend came over for a chat. And now...boredom. I cannot entertain myself in this house or neighborhood, there's nothing to do around here! I think I'll be getting a job over summer just for something to DO.

I love my parents to pieces, but God damn I love living on my own. I hate having to wait around to have my dinner cooked for me, I'd rather just make it myself. I think I'll have to propose that to the Mother bear, to just not include me in the family meal unless I ask nicely. I just feel bad if I don't eat it or like it otherwise.

In other news, Sims is kinda boring after a while.

In other other news, I'm back in Falmouth tomorrow and will be there for as long as I can before all my friends are officially back in Preston.

In other extra special but not really news...I may watch some more Seinfeld >_>.

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[public entry #96]

Jun 9, 2009 - 06:22 PM
Dreams about the big ol' X
I realised I should write in my actual diary more. Yes, laugh it up, I actually put pen to paper and write my deepest darkest feelings down in a little book. It's very theraputic and I can be a right emo kid without judgement except my own =).

But anywho, about the title. I'm sure I'm not the only one, at least I hope not, but I keep having recurring dreams about my ex boyfriend. Around the time of the break up I was having dreams where I would cry and say let's get back together blah blah, but now he pops up in whatever situation I'm in. In one of them, I was at a book store and time slowed down completely when I went outside. I saw him across the street, ran over to him in slow motion and proceeded to punch him in the face. Other dreams he's been kissing one of my friends girlfriend to make me jealous, another he's been on a bus trying to get my's driving me nuts! But no doubt the more I think about it the more it's just going to keep popping up in my noggin.

The update on that is...I've given up trying to be his friend. Not because it's awkward, when we have bumped into each other it's been fine. It's more because even as friends he makes no effort to see me. He arranged to see me and then forgot about our plans, and shrugged it off as not a big deal. It's quite insulting really, and since he's so dependent with talking to people online because he likes to hide behind the safety of the computer screen I've just blocked him on every online medium. He has my number if he wants to reach me.

Saying all this though, he asked me to go out with his friend tonight, but fuck i'm having a mother fuckin pajama day. Booyah.

Went out last night and got absolutely carparked off a bottle of Jameson's. It was a house party, a lot of shameful pictures taken etc. But it was good fun. Also had a BBQ on the beach one evening, I do like living in such a beautiful place. BBQed waffles all the way!

I'm getting my results back tomorrow for this semesters Uni work. Timby is making me nervous...I'm pretty sure I did well on the screenwriting, I received a lot of positive responses from friends and the such and even created a buzz in a class I'm not apart of since one of the guys in there had read it. So fingers crossed on that one. Sound Design, the teacher is so lovely I hope he took pity on me and gave me a good grade. Research...ugh, I'd be lucky to scrape a 2:2. So it's quite a slope of good to shit really, I just hope I get a good average. Next year should be easier since it's only 2 units over each term, I find having so much to do at once so stressful.

Random things to mention, reading Stephen King's The Stand...not bad so far. Playing Xenogears and Sims 2, just to steal Pang's idea and simulate life in my own house and see if it matches up accordingly. It sorta works.

Going back to Prestonia on Friday, I wasn't going to go back but I figured you only live once and I might as well. It's the birthday of one of my best friends who passed away 3 years ago, and on the day all my girlies get together to raise a toast to her. It's a bittersweet occasion, but even though finances aren't on my side it'd be such a shame to miss it. Since I didn't plan on going back, I figured I'd just surprise the parentals, I've always wanted to do that since it's the last thing they'd be expecting. Huzzah!


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[public entry #95]

May 25, 2009 - 09:42 AM
My night of sex and passion with Timberwolf
Details can be found here

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[public entry #94]

May 22, 2009 - 04:57 AM
I have completed my second year of Uni. I had to do a 10 page screenplay backed up with a portfolio and a self reflective essay, a 4000 word essay on Sound Design and a 4000 word Archive Research Project. After all the hardship and struggle, I am DONE. Granted, towards the end I stopped caring about making the work amazing and now i'm just thankful it's all printed out and ready to be handed over. I'm ready to FLING this stack of work in the face of the MAN. TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!

What grades I'll get will scare me when the day comes. =) OH WELLY.

In other news...I'm going to get frunk tonight. GFF beware of journal entries.


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[public entry #93]

May 20, 2009 - 04:16 PM
Your sex face
No, but really. What is it?

Are you a moaner, a grunter, a snorter?

Do you scrunch your face up, do you bite your entire lower lip?


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[public entry #92]

May 15, 2009 - 07:35 PM
If you want to take advantge of me now's the time

I grewu p on this site you now? i fucking was here when I was fucking 12 ywars olf! fuc. I love every one I met on here. AVA LILLY Is my lesbian lover. I want to emetg her and go crazy and tghe world would end. Fuck I met timberwolf on here and we're fucking LIVING together now. This site is the fucking bomb, don't you guys be bitching about each other because there are some aweomse pople on here that you can meet and who can change you LIFE.


LOST FINALE WTF. JAcob is HOT. I want to bang him. And sawyer. yeaaahahh...

Currently Playing: the sund of my own intoxication

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[public entry #91]

May 6, 2009 - 08:59 AM
The art of not playing music on shuffle...
I figured I'd stop playing my music on shuffle for a while, and get through some albums that I haven't played in ages/used to play a bunch back in the day/need to play through.

It's kinda hard when I have the urge to flick >_>. BUT I WILL PREVAIL!

I got an extension on my deadlines, which is amazazing having more time to perfect schtuff.

Saw the ex-boy today, it wasn't awkward at all. We just stood chatting for a while, it was kinda nice knowing our friendship hasn't been tainted by the break up. Should be hanging out tomorrow with him momentarily, which should be good. I'll just have to push the thoughts that I have had various dreams about him that include wanting to beat him up, rejecting sex with him, having sex with him and wanting to get back together with him >_>. Seperate dreams mind you, that would be one hell of a dream otherwise...

He was looking kinda hot though ._.


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[public entry #90]

May 2, 2009 - 12:06 PM
Back on the bus to SINGLE TOWN
Rant time. I broke up with my boyfriend just over a week ago. We were going out for about a year and it was my first relationship, so needless to say I'm pretty bummed out. Reasons why it ended - he stopped making the effort to come and see me. We had a talk a few months ago about whether or not he was going to be able to cope being in a relationship and he said he wants to make it work. But it didn't, oh welly. It was for the best, and things ended on a good note i.e. there was no huge argument.

It's weird being with someone, being so close to them and thinking about them every day and wondering when you're going to see them next, to not having to think about them at all anymore. It doesn't stop me thinking about him of course, but it's weird now that it's not neccessary to think about him...very odd. I've had my blubbering moments, my angry moments, my content moments and now it's all settling down and I'm dealing with the fact that I'm single again.

Sex anyone? I'm kidding. But not really.

Other than that work is stressing me the fuck out. Two 4000 word essays, a screenplay, a 1000 word essay on said screenplay...what the fuck. This isn't cool at all.

Going to see Let The Right One In tonight, should be a nice trip out the house before I work again.

Currently Playing: Delain - Day For Ghosts

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[public entry #89]

Mar 12, 2009 - 06:48 PM's it going?
No really. What's up.

I've tried to post around here and there a bit more recently. I'm quite looking forward to the SAUS thing now...I do like a good music competition thingy. More GFF Karaoke anyone?

Well since this is a JOURNAL I better write some shit about my LIFE I guess.


I've still got a boyfriend? I guess that's an achievement. My first evah man and it's gone on for 10 months now. He plays in a band, rawr.

Uni is going ok. Bit behind but nothing tooooooooo bad. Easter holidays should be a good time to do some work but no doubt I'll get distracted by Resident Evil 5 >_>. Darn that Timberwolf...

I LOVE YOU. Yes, you.

And at this moment in time I'm waiting around for LeHah to pop up online since he's the only fucker who ever talks to me at this hour...WHERE ARE YOU?!

Ok that's all I can think of to loon on about. I should watch Paradise Now but I think it's getting a bit late for deep films about suicide bombers. I'm going to see Twilight tomorrow. No I haven't read the books, no I'm not loony on the main dude (he is handsome though) and a third point that I can't think of. I'm simply curious and I like Vampire films no matter how teeny bopper they may be. Plus...Muse are played in it I hear >_>

Anyone have anything on Witches in film? Articles, pictures, anything? My research project is about witchcraft as a representation of the 'other' religion in film. Or something like that. My teacher started rambling about a postmodern new religious order type thing and I got confused...but I was just gonna say how they've gone from being old women to foxy ladies to little wee children. I dunno, it's late.

Here, have a picture of me as a catholic school girl rape victim:


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[public entry #88]

Oct 30, 2008 - 08:57 AM
Want an interesting night? Switch your electricity off
That's right, do it. So yesterday was a pretty crazy day. Went to a gym induction, it went on way longer than I thought it would which meant I was going to be late for a tutorial with a teacher. The gym is about a 20-30 minute walk, on the way back it's up a fucking steep hill. And it was pissing it down with rain both ways. Huzzah.

So I get back, think holy moly I have to zip out again. Get to Uni and nearly fall asleep in the chair when I'm waiting to go see my teacher. We have our chit chat, I run some Journalism stuff by him and he puts my mind at ease about the work I have to be doing. Good times. I also got a contact for Fox's PR, so free DVD's for me hopefully.

Then I walk to the boyfriends house (still raining), we were planning on going back to mine and watching some Doctor Who (awesome, right?). But, it's his house mates birthday, so we stay in and everyone cooks up a huge Mexican banquet and we sit down to eat. Then towards the end, the power cuts out. After a lot of messing around with the fuses, calling a number of places (all of which were shut), we decide to make things interesting.

So, we play drinking games, sit and talk around the fire, drink some more, play acoustic instruments, have a sing song, drink even more and then crash out. I felt like a right woman playing the drinking game, it was me and 4 other guys and I downed about 2 pints of Foster's and had to bail. That stuff is nasty to neck. But yes, it was a night I won't forget. It's amazing what having no electricity can do. It turned out that someone had messed with the electricity, and they knew what they were doing too. MYSTERY.

I've got this friend from back home. He does Film and TV Production at Uni, and incase you're not aware I do Film here in Falmouth. So a few months ago he tells me he wants to do a film as an excuse to get a girl naked. I think, what a sleeze but good luck. He manages to do this film, and shows me a scene from it (just a conversation, no nudity involved). Being a film student, and having watched many a film and many a student film, I decided to give him some constructive criticism. And I was being fucking nice with it because quite frankly it wasn't constructed well at all, but instead of just sucking it up he decides to go on a campaign on Facebook to slag me off to whoever he can. He also keeps retaliating to my comments in such a retarded way I am so close to making what he said to me public. I don't want to stoop that low (yet), but yes this is quite annoying me indeed. He's taken to calling me a cunt to a friend of ours, who is sucking up to him most likely because he was in the fucking film.

I mean, when I made films as part of my course they would be ripped apart - but I didn't take it personally I took the advice on board and tried to do better. There's a whole series of comments on this video of us going back and forth with him trying to tie off the argument with some insult but it's not working. But because he's resorting to stupid "boo ya" insults it looks like he's won the war. I'm trying so hard not to use his own words against him, and I'll give him a warning before I do it. I've got some class.

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[public entry #87]

Oct 27, 2008 - 12:28 PM
The words of a hopelessly romantic boyfriend
Me: "Hey, can you come around a few hours before work tonight? I wanna see you"
Him: "Why? What've I done now?"


Me: "I know you're gonna hate me for saying this, but you know we've been together 5 months now?"
Him: "That makes me feel a little bit sick"


My red coat came and it makes me look all frumpy so I have to send it back.


I'm tired and I haven't done my work for tomorrow.


I have this bite on my arm that's huge and it really itches.


WRYYYYYYYYYY. More famous film people plz? ;_;

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Oct 25, 2008 - 03:39 PM
So I come back to see what's up and everyone has changed their name to something silly!
AGAIN! Who are you? ;_;.

I want in again. I miss you guys. I may update about what's gone down in the last few months, but I bet you no one really gives a toss.

Anyone know anyone famous in the film industry...or anyone in the film industry that has done something known that I could do an interview with before I lose my mind? This is pretty's for my degree ;_;.


My room smells of condoms for some reason....

Currently Playing: Buck 65 - 463

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[public entry #85]

Jun 9, 2008 - 03:07 PM

That is all.

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May 29, 2008 - 07:02 PM
"We're going out now?"
Well, the past month has been hetic and amazing at the same time. My work schedule pretty much included filming 2 films, compiling portfolios for each of them, editing them, writing a 2500 analysis on one of them, and a 2000 word World Cinema essay. While it's been crazy busy, I've had some of the best days I've had a Uni so far. Driving through Cornwall in a car with all your friends listening to N.W.A and talking about random crap trying to scout a place to film, winning an award for said film and getting drunk with your crew from 4pm through to the wee hours of the morning, celebrating the hand in date by going out and getting absolutely all adds up to some good good times.

As well as that, I found a boy <3. Thinking about it, he ticks pretty much every box I could think of. After a month of canoodling, he asked me out on Monday. He was a bit merry at the time so I confirmed it the next day, and now we're going out. Which leads me to think, the transition from single to in a relationship feels like...nothing. I don't feel taken, I don't feel like i'm "off the market", I don't see any difference in the way we act around each other, I don't get any fluttery feeling when I think about it, it's all very bizarre. Since this is my first relationship, I'm not sure what to expect really, so when people get all excited that we're going out I can't get excited with them because in a way it almost feels like it's not happening. It would have to be something like him referring to me as his girlfriend that would make it seem like it's actually happening, but that opportunity is pretty rare unless a stranger came along and asked. Early days, but he makes me happy. We pretty much bum out together and have extra benefits, it's all cool.

I'm heading over to America land next month. Whoop! I can't wait to be "that British girl" to the friends of the friend I'm staying with. Huzzah for being the odd one out.

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Apr 28, 2008 - 01:22 PM
nadi be tagging me
5 bad habbits. LET ME THINK.

1. I'm impatient. With anything. Ordering something online, waiting for a friend to come over, this habbit is at it's worse when boys come into play. I want to know what they feel, I want to know what's going to happen, and I want it all now. Doesn't mean I actually get anything, nor do I make a huge fuss over anything, but internally I'm screaming.

2. I'm lazy. I miss lectures, meetings, seminars all for that extra few hours in bed. I also miss nights out that I can't be bothered going to, which does save money I suppose. I'm also too lazy to get a job. The thought of a job is probably the worse thing in the world.

3. I'm blunt. This can sometimes get me into trouble, my mouth moves faster than my brain and I can appear to be cold hearted. Add a twisted sense of humour to the mix and I can seem like one bitch queen from hell at times.

4. I think too much into things. This can be linked with the impatience, but say when I have an interest in a guy I'll analyse everything to weigh out the pros and cons. I simply can't take it easy and go with the flow, even though I end up doing that anyway and never try and rush into anything, my mind is spinning like crazy with thoughts of "what's gonna happen next".

5. Struggling to think here...I guess procrastination can be one. Samey I know. I'll blame it on stupid things too, like I can't work with mess around me because my mind feels cluttered (which is very true). I guess I have slight OCD's about some things too. My music collection on my laptop is more organised than my life. My DVDs are in alphabetical order. I can have mess in my room, but I have to tidy it away at some point or I feel like shit.

In other news, I may have found a boy <3.

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Apr 23, 2008 - 04:36 PM
Sian's Blood Grinder Review (Ass kissing left at the door)
So, after receiving my limited edition copy of The Blood Grindah I thought I would publicly share with the world my thoughts on my experience. My first impression as I took the DVD out of the envelope was professionalism. 2 discs, extras, the packaging… and the fumes from the spray paint make me slightly happy. I ran around the flat gathering people to watch it with me at the request of Mr. Conte, and then it began.

To open up my review, I’ll start with the bad news.
Whilst the shots are well composed, I did notice some shaky camera work. A sneaky little movement to get someone’s face in shot, some of the panning was a little unsteady for my liking. I’m not a fan of zooms either, when they were done for comedic effect they worked but elsewhere my personal preference didn’t agree. Sometimes actors would move out of shot slightly, it’s hard being able to frame everything in in a tight area but it’s stuff like this that I tend to notice.
To continue my nitpicking, there were some continuity errors here and there. Scenes filmed in twilight suddenly going into day time, day time turning into night suddenly, Ronnie running through the woods barefoot then all of a sudden running in shoes - you thought you could get away with this Conte but the annoying ones always notice! Also, the wedding ring was on the wrong hand .
Another thing that I noticed was the sound was a bit sketchy here and there. When cutting between shots of two characters who were talking, I could hear background traffic noise when one character was on screen and near silence when it cut to the other character. Recording the sound of the environment for the length of the scene with no dialogue is a nice backing track to cover up this flaw. Lighting was something, in my opinion, that could’ve been revised more. Again just transitions between two facing characters standing away from each other was too contrasted.
Once the Blood Grinder was revealed, I felt the narrative began to lose itself a little bit, things seemed a little too drawn out and frankly I found myself less intrigued as to what was to come next. Which leads me nicely into the good praise, huzzah! Thankfully, the film ended on a high with an outrageously over the top fight in…well wherever that was. It was incredibly well done, and very entertaining to watch. I can imagine filming that sequence to be a nightmare with all that fake blood - but you guys pulled it off.

The humour was something that was consistent, I think comedy is the hardest thing to capture on camera but it was done so remarkably well. My friends were all laughing from the get go, and to quote one of them “this film is just so stupid…but I love it.” I think that pretty much summarises the film itself, it’s ridiculous, it’s over the top, but it’s fun. The small details are also what make this film impressive, the news storylines rolling at the bottom, the fact that Thompson never fucking lights his cigar and pretty much always has his hat on; it’s stuff like this that makes The Blood Grinder even better on second viewing.
For an independent film, it’s pretty darn good. While not quite industry standard, it seems like a lot of thought has gone into making this story come to life and the spirit of the project was transferred onto screen. My friends thought it was amazing, obviously showing that it’s a highly entertaining piece of work.

I give it 3 and half.

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Apr 9, 2008 - 03:24 PM
Nightwish Concert, a picture of Sian, and other ramblings

Nightwish concert rawked. They looked like they were having the time of their lives, it was really enjoyable to watch. This drunk guy chatted me up too, not my type but it was still pretty sweet. Plus, there was a group of 6 foot tall metal heads in front of me that kept turning around to make sure I was ok and could see. Bless them.
Is Anette better than Tarja? I couldn't honestly answer. It's all down to preference, and I don't mind either. If she were an classically trained singer I could probably answer, but comparing someone with operatic vocals to someone with normal vocals is impossible unless you prefer one. Some of the old material does sound quite odd with her vocals (Dead to the World sounded a bit off), some sounded decent (The Siren) and some I think she nailed with the possibility of sounding better (Wishmaster).

I got a shit hot hoodie too, £22 for a t-shirt and £25 for a hoodie? Someone fucked up the price there but thank Jebus because I love this thing. It's a female fit, it's got patterns down the sleeve, an awesome emblem on the front and the tour dates on the back. It's printed in this vintage style too.

Boredom tends to make me want to get decent pictures of myself.

Recap of Spring Break
- Recorded a song with the band, only one due to the singer getting a chest infection. Bummer.
- Got a tattoo
- Got my ears pierced
- Been to a few social gatherings with friends
- Had a birthday shindig at my place
- Been bored out of my mind for a good deal of it
- Gained weight no doubt due to access of food and easter eggs.
- Slowly but surely making my way through Final Fantasy 9

I go back to Uni on Saturday, this time the dreaded 9 hour train journey will be in the company of two of my Uni friends, so I don't mind so much. Hopefully they don't miss it at their stop or I really will be bored.

I have a freakish obsession with play counts.

I miss my piano.

I need money.

And a wee.

Currently Playing: KMFDM - Dogma

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Apr 6, 2008 - 03:06 PM
If I had one of these I'd never be sad

The cutest little CGI creatures I've ever seen <3. I want one ;_;.

NIGHTWISH WERE AMAZING. I remember why I love concerts so much. These huge metal dudes were looking out for me the entire time, making sure I could see <3. This other guy started chatting to me too, he was pretty drunk but he was saying I was "really easy to talk to" and he started getting extremely excited when I showed him my tattoo.

I had an early birthday gathering last night, it was wonderful to see all my friends turn up for it.

Going to get my tattoo tweaked tomorrow, then a smexy picture of it when it's all healed will be produced.

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Mar 26, 2008 - 08:10 AM

It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, some places it just felt like something blunt was vibrating on my skin. Towards the end of the 2 hour session, and as he began to shade in the lower tail, it started to hurt and I was getting fidgety.

The final tattoo isn't exactly what it was on paper, and for that I'm slightly annoyed, but in fairness it was always going to be hard to transfer it exactly the same onto my skin. I do love it, and I'm going back in when it's healed to tweak the parts that I think need doing again, then I'll be satisfied. All the friends that I have shown have loved it, my MOTHER likes it, my Dad only complained about the size (it was bigger than what I thought it would be so that the ink wouldn't bleed together in time since it was an intricate design) but didn't say he hated the design. So huzzah! I was worried they would charge me to tweak it, but now I'm easing up about it all.

When I was sat in the chair as he started to do the outline, I suddenly thought "holy fucking shit, I'm getting a tattoo". It was so weird! I can check "Get a tattoo" off my new years resolution =p.


Shameless self promotion time!

Currently Playing: Nightwish - The Poet And The Pendulum

Response entries:
Tattoo 2! by Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss

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Mar 24, 2008 - 06:16 PM
Because I love you <3.

(since I can never get the mp3 working, Sendspace linkage!)


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Mar 19, 2008 - 10:00 AM
New piercing
Nothing exciting, just another ear lobe piercing =p.

Since I've been home I've caught up with Lost, went to a haunted house where monks got hacked up in her car, went shopping, sorted tattoo details out, got my ears pierced and more to come! Huzzah.

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Mar 16, 2008 - 12:12 PM
Of course you know that I'm not going to, but I'm sure you were intrigued by what I'm about to ask since I got your attention (hopefully ;_; ).


Currently Playing: Lacuna Coil - Heaven's a Lie

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Mar 5, 2008 - 09:07 AM
Anyone else think this is sorta wrong?

Nice thought, but still what the hell? Having that in your wardrobe is kinda freaky. It's like people who have benches placed in memory of someone, there are even cinema seats in my local cinema with plaques on. I dunno, I can understand why these things are a nice tribute but I'm indifferent about it.


I was in the library today looking through some film journals, my favourite being a lovely little thing called Little White Lies. It's visually stunning as well as a good interesting, informative, easy read. The film reviews aren't matched by some of the other journals, but the knowledge is used in a subtle way that isn't pretentious. Anyway, to get to the point, there was a page that had this little poem on and I quite liked it so I jotted it down.

"In a single moment, I made my choice,
I found my heart, I heard my voice,
I chose to stand up, take the chance,
I chose the risk, to make advance.
And in determination's wake
The forward motion would not break.
My future changed, not like before,
That moment made me
All I am now and more"

Kinda sums up my choice of going into film really, once you're in you can't turn back.

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Mar 3, 2008 - 06:14 PM
I really wanna rock out to some metal
I've yet to meet someone here in Falmouth who likes metal music. I mean, I know I like a range of music and I can discuss all types of music with whoever I meet...but god damn I want another metal person ;_;. I miss being in PR1 Tuesday's in Preston for metal night, good times <3. Everyone is into the acoustic/raggae/ska type music, and sure it can be funky shit but I just want something with POWER. RANT OVER.

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Feb 24, 2008 - 07:39 PM
No Country For Old Men and Cloverfield Review
One is for class and one is ranting. CAN YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE?

You can’t stop what’s coming…

No Country For Old Men is a twisted tale set in 1980s Texas where hunter, Llewellyn Moss (Josh Brolin), stumbles upon $2 million of drug money and is then pursued by the merciless murderer Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem). The synopsis may roll a few eyes and have people previewing the film as just another slew of American Western based films, along with The Assassination of Jesse James and There Will Be Blood. However, No Country… succeeds in confirming its place as one of the most impressive films made in recent years and showcases the directing skills of the Coen Brothers.
Each shot seems to have been intricately planned, the best possible arrangement in the frame experimented with to create a visual masterpiece. Filmed along the stunning vastness of the Texas wilderness, it thrusts the audience into the blazing heat of the Texas sun and lightening storms of the desert nights. With each direction the film takes tension is built to climatic scenes, such as the heart pounding shoot out between protagonist and villain. Since the film lacks a soundtrack, the anxiety created is purely down to exceptional film making.
With incredible performances from the cast, credit must go to Bardem. His shocking evil instantly established within the first ten minutes, he creeps silently into shot and an intense sense of foreboding prevails. He serves as the Angel of Death, killing the lives of those he believes are led towards him.
The underlying themes that are transferred onto screen with the Coen Brothers reliance on the novel by Cormac McCarthy; fate, chance and predestination are explored. Anton is almost God-like with his relentless massacring beyond morality by complying to his principles alone. It’s as if he strides through the film knowing that nothing can stop him, even allowing his victims to chance their fate by a mere flip of a coin.
The film shatters the conventions of good will always overcome evil, displaying the improbability of a happy ending when applied to modern society. There are no heroes, not even the binary opposition to Anton in the form of Tommy Lee Jones’ character makes an effort to see that justice is served.
With its beautiful cinematography, the narrative being complex, entertaining, and dripping with dark humour; it really does show that precise attention to detail in the process of filmmaking can have astonishing results.

What can I say? I'm quite the fan of realist approaches to film. I don't find hand held camera distracting in the slightest, so this film didn't make me feel dizzy like I've heard a number of people complain about.

What knocked major points off for me was a number of things (SPOILERS!)
1. The camera would've broke a number of times,
especially when the fucking thing gobbles it up with the dude. I mean come ON! And the way his body lands perfectly in front of an undamaged camera? That really ticked me off.

The scene I just mentioned, what was with that? I mean, I LOVED the parts in the film where they were close but they were running from it. But that one when it's just stood there conveniently to get a good look at it? - nuh uh.

3. Characters: Cheesy. As. Dick cheese. Sorry, but the whole love thing going on made me sick. You wouldn't follow a nut case wanting to save his bitch who should have been dead with that thing stuck in her. I mean sure, the narrative needed an incentive to walk around New York for a bit but that was just lame. Not happening.
I didn't mind seeing it's tail in the first moments of destruction, but when they're in the shop looking at clear as day footage of it was just too early. If they would've kept that official news report footage to a minimal and have the first full on encounter of the thing when they're running for the subway would've been amazing.

1. The way it's filmed, I love that sort of realism in the midst of something that is the complete opposite of reality. It throws the audience into the situation and you can really place yourself in the film as it were and feel yourself being shocked, frightened, exhilarated. The scene where they're right near the monster for the first time and all the army dudes come out and shoot at it: incredible. I couldn't help but release the word "FUCK" from my mouth.
2. The parts of the film where you could see the monster but couldn't quite see it - I thought that was awesome. The hand held camera really teasing the audience with just offering a slight glimpse.
3. The pacing, it was intense to watch and I loved it. I loved being shocked and feeling like I should run faster even though I'm immobile in my comfortable cinema chair.
4. The SOUND. It was LOUD, it was CRAZY and I LOVED it.
5. Apparently there's a shot of the sea in the footage from the guy and the girl on their date and you can see something being dropped into the ocean. I didn't see it personally, but if this is true then that slight attention to detail is always a good thing in my books.

Overall, it was really good. But, for the reasons I stated that were a problem to me really let the film down. I would've cut the crap with the characters moaning about long lost loves since it was a lame excuse of a narrative but I guess it had to be something as sappy for them to be wandering on their own.

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Jan 16, 2008 - 09:11 PM
Boring update
On my work situation.

- 9 Journal Entries (250 words each)
- Presentation Evalutation
- Sleepy Hollow Segmentation Plan
- Sleepy Hollow Clip Test
- The 400 Blows Segmentation Plan
- The 400 Blows Clip Test
- Cinematography in The 400 Blows essay
- Essay plan
- Rabbit Proof Fence Research Bibliography
- Self Assessment Forms

After thinking I could do a rouge draft tonight, it's seeming highly doubtful since my eyes feel like lead. So now I have a full day and night to complete this fucking essay that I just can't seem to bring myself around to doing. BLAH TO IT ALL. AND BLAH TO THOSE DOVES.

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Jan 15, 2008 - 09:28 PM
I spend more time updating my list of things to do than actually doing anything that's on it. HERE IS MY LIST!

- 9 Journal Entries (250 words each)
- Presentation Evalutation
- Sleepy Hollow Segmentation Plan
- Sleepy Hollow Clip Test
- The 400 Blows Segmentation Plan
- The 400 Blows Clip Test
- Cinematography in The 400 Blows essay
- Essay plan
- Rabbit Proof Fence Research Bibliography
- Self Assessment Forms

Got a lot to do in a 2 days and 2 nights. To ease my mind, I have done The 400 Blows Segmentation Plan, I just have to write it up. I seem to have a decent amount of references now to bullshit an essay, and the Research project isn't really a research project since they're just testing we can gather information. They want us to do a pretend bibliography pretty much. The clip tests are just annoying.

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Jan 14, 2008 - 03:39 PM
Hey Deni
Wanna write a 2000 word essay on the cinematography in Les Quatre Cents Coups? Because I don't seem to have the energy ;_;. I also have to do a research project on Rabbit Proof Fence, but it's not a full research project it's pretty much just write up a bibliography. I don't know why we're doing it, but we are.

This is all in for FRIDAY and all I have is a mere plan of my essay. I thought I was gonna go to the library today but ended up sleeping instead ;_;. WHY AM I SO LAZY? WRYYYY.

Other news, gym is going good, I don't hate it! Huzzah! I've started to weigh myself now so I can monitor the weight loss if any. I won't be obsessed with my weight, but it'll be interesting to see if I manage to lose a few poundage.


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Jan 8, 2008 - 10:20 AM
I waste most of my money on DVD's
I just arranged all my DVD's, and I thought "wow I have an incredible urge to buy more". So I ordered Batman Begins, Three Kings, Bad Boys, Slither, Sleepy Hollow and the Jurassic Park Trilogy . I have 104 DVD's at Uni and there's another...30 or so at home. I'll have to raid the house next time i'm home since, you know, I need more >_>.

As part of my resolutions, I joined the gym yesterday. There was some stoner guy in trackies and a leather jacket having an induction with me...very very weird. But I excercised, go me! My arm has been sore ever since Saturday when I hauled my giant heavy suitcase here, it was numb for about 5 minutes this morning. Must've twisted it in a funny way.

Last night I went into the kitchen at 1am for a drink (and by that I mean a snack) and then my friend B came in and we start talking for about an hour. Then another friend, Stu and his friend Tom came in after a drunk night out and the craziness continues through to 5am. Crazy! But I do like the randomness here.

Today I arranged the work I have to do. So now I know what I need to write for a few things...I just need to do them now. A class mate has texted me saying we should get together and talk all things essay because it all needs to be done. I still have time! No worries...yet.

I also started playing Guitar Hero. God damn I feel like i'm tripping when I play for too long and look away. So fun though <3.

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Jan 7, 2008 - 09:23 AM
2007 Sum up survey - you want to take it!
1) Was 2007 a good year for you?
Yes it was quite a good year, better than 2006 by far.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
There are so many! My surprise birthday party, exam results day, having my best friend visit me for the first time, starting uni, doing my first gig, going on holiday alone for the first time with my band, holiday in Spain, saw Muse at Wembley stadium. All good!

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
It was sort of bittersweet really, one of my best friends died in 2006 so my group of friends got together for her birthday just to remember her fondly. It wasn't a happy occasion but I thought it was nice that we could all do that and support each other.

4) What are your plans for 2008?
So many! I have a bunch of resolutions to keep up with, see my journal about that and you might be able to get a few resolutions from the drunkness =p.

5) What countries did you visit?
Spain for a family holiday.

6) What date in 2007 will remain etched in your memory?
Can't remember the exact date, but probably the day I got to meet my best friend for the first time (online buddy).

7) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting straight A's in my A-levels.

8) What was your biggest failure?
Not doing as much socialising as I could've done, although I did a lot! I always know I can do more.

9) Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Sunburn? Hah. I also got Freshers Flu but that didn't last long.

10) What was the best thing you bought?
I can't remember if it were this year or last...but this laptop was a pretty spectacular buy.

11) Who's behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My friend Katie, she just got way to deep with someone who would fuck her over in the end. I didn't hold it against her, but she didn't listen to me when I said to her straight - it'll never work. But she's learnt that lesson now.

12) Where did most of your money go?

13) What did you get really really really excited about?
Muse at Wembley!

14) What songs will always remind you of 2007?
Rihanna - Umbrella. The Rihanna curse hit Britain, it always rained whilst she was at number 1.

15) Compared to this time last year are you:
a) Fatter or thinner? Thinner
b) Happier or sadder? Happier
c) Richer or poorer? Richer

16) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Playing music.

17) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being so damn lazy.

18) How did you spend Christmas?
At home with the parentals.

19) Which GFFer did you meet for the first time?
Well, he was an ex-gffer, hasn't posted in here for years so I don't think people would remember.

20) Did you fall in love in 2007?

21) How many one night stands?

22) What was your favourite TV show?
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

23) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

24) What was/were the best books you read?
The only book I read was the last Harry Potter book.

25) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hmmmm...I don't think I discovered many bands this year that i've fallen in love with!

26) What did you want and get?
Money and I got it.

27) What did you want and not get?
Nothing really, I didn't want much.

28) What was your favourite film this year?
Damn...I'm terrible for remembering what films I've seen. Probably Casino Royale or Hairspray.

29) What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I had a surprise party on my 18th Birthday. I had no idea and I went to a restaurant and all my friends were there. It was so nice, I loved it.

30) What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
I dunno, more action?

31) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Pretty bland! I don't have a radical fashion sense.

32) What kept you sane?
Friends and music.

33) Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
I've always had a huge crush on Matt Bellamy, DUH.

34) Which political issue stirred you the most?
None, I don't keep up >_>

35) Who did you miss?
No one really, as long as i've got some form of contact with them.

36) Did you treat somebody badly in 2007?
I don't think so!

37) Did somebody treat you badly in 2007?
Not that I know of.

38) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
Never leave liquids near electrical equipment, you may be retarded enough to knock them over.

39) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year...

Response entries:
Acutally I don't want to take it. by Wall Feces
Fuck that shit. Why the hell would I take a survey? by Chaotic
Bandwagon, go! by Ballpark Frank
Myspace invasion by Max POWER
Time for a bit of time-wasting. by Arkhangelsk
I DO want to take it by Helloween
Shit, really? Can we go back, I still need to do the 2003 one. by Moth

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Jan 6, 2008 - 08:23 PM
Back at Uni!
And I fucking love it. I appreciate this place so much more, the people, the freedom, the place itself. Gawd I love it so much here.

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Jan 4, 2008 - 08:46 PM
Packed up and ready to leave
I've packed my bags, crammed everything into a suitcase, my laptop bag and a handbag and i'm ready to head back to Uni. I can't fucking wait. The first two weeks of this holiday were great, there was the new kitchen to admire, people to see, family to catch up with, Christmas was on the way...after that everything just seemed to slow down incredibly. I've been bored out of my mind, unable to go anywhere, to sleep at decent hours because I wasn't doing anything to tire myself. But, all that should change! I'll be travelling for 8 hours on a train straight back to Uni, I swear to God if the train isn't exactly on time or earlier I will be stuck outside waiting for a bus for an hour. Please do not forsake me Mr. Train! I also feel a lot better because the changeover that I have to do is at a train station that i'm familiar with. Plus, it gets there slightly earlier and sets off later. Every wink of sleep that I do get counts.

I bought a couple of DVD's today with my gift cards; American Dad season 1 (figured it'd be good train watching material, plus i've heard positive things about it so I took the risk) and Sin City collectors edition (since i'm going to be writing an essay on it that I should've completed by now...ah well).

Had a nice roast dinner with the family, the last proper meal i'll probably have until March. Then I start my fitness campaign in the gym, which i'm looking forward to. I'm really eager to get this new routine in order, I like being spontaneous but damn...I really do need to know what I should be doing most days to prevent me from staying in and going insane. So another resolution that i've added to my list is to get out of the flat at least once a day, even if it's just a walk.

I really can't wait to see all my friends again. As soon as i'm on that bus heading straight for campus i'm going to feel some major excitement.

Changed my ava and sig <3.

Well, i'm going to watch something on here, then pack this laptop up, put it in my bag and the finishing touch to my packing will be complete. Let's hope there aren't any delays or more changeovers tomorrow!

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Jan 3, 2008 - 12:49 PM
My sleeping pattern sucks
So, my sleeping pattern is officially screwed up. Since being home, I find myself not doing much of anything. At Uni, being around people constantly and running around like a general loony bin really tires me out and I can get to bed at a reasonable hour (for me...which is probably 1/2am). However, now I'm at home with the parentals, I don't do anything. I come online, I check e-mail, I post around on forums, I talk to people. Then I might watch some T.V, watch a film. Then I come back online, listen to some music, play a's just the same old routine that doesn't tire me at all. I hate not being able to drive and have my own car, I'd just drive to see people instead of having to ask for lifts and they're not always available.

So, my sleeping pattern for the past week or so has been bed at around 4am, waking up at 2 or 3pm. It's ridiculous! I have myself to blame, because if i'm not going anywhere and I set an alarm, i'll just ignore it. On New Years Eve, I stayed up til 5 or 6am, but because I was with a friend I seemed to be tired from talking and being around someone WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THESE DOVES THEY'RE STARTING TO PISS ME OFF. Then I got up at 12pm and that night, I was in bed at 11.30pm. Huzzah! But last night...couldn't sleep until probably 3 or 4am AGAIN and got up at 2.30pm AGAIN.

Back in the vicious cycle ;_;.

So, I may try and attempt to stay up all night tonight, to sleep properly on Friday night, then have my long 8 hour train journey to Uni (which i've called home now a number of times), so i'll no doubt be tired from that, to getting back into a good sleeping pattern.

Another thing, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO UNI. I've missed my flatmates so much, I miss the freedom of doing what I want, eating what I want and when I want it, showering when I want. I miss being around all my friends all the time. I miss the bar...

I'm going to be signing up for my Gym membership on Monday, I went shopping yesterday and bought me a sports bra (more of a crop top thing, since the boobage was way too big to fit into the bras they had...THIS IS WHY I'M LOSING THEM) and some new trainers. So I'm officially kitted out and ready to lose the pudge. Then in Spring, i'll start surfing again.

Also, I have to start searching for houses to live in when I start my second year. One of my course mates, Ehli, is pretty keen on moving out of her house so hopefully she's still interested in living with me. One of my flatmates Edd, I'm closest to him than anyone else in my flat and we seemed to have decided without even talking about it that we're going to live together next year. So hopefully, he's not changed his mind because I know he's become closer with people on his he may end up living with them. It would suck, because I really get along with him and we have so much fun but if he feels like he wants to live with his course mates then I can't stop him. But yeah, I should get onto that as soon as I get back.

My schedule for Uni is empty for the next two weeks, I have no classes whatsoever. I'm going back because you have to sign in for some tutorial thing on Wednesday, and my return train ticket expires on Tuesday. But still, 2 weeks to do all this work I should've done before and during the holidays >_>. And to think, one of my resolutions is to stop procrastinating.

Currently Playing: Akira Yamaoka - Please Love Me Once More

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Jan 1, 2008 - 12:19 PM
Response to: year in retrospect (meme) by nadienne

...and he was gay. That amused me so. (Face in my dream =D)

Hurley was angry at Sawyer for eating something, so he started trying to kill him with a bamboo stick.

new camera <3.

<3. Amazing. I think i'm in love with the guitarist, the one with hair that is.


*tumbleweed...i.e no entries =o*

Oh journal, I have abandoned you.

*abandonment AGAIN!*

Does anyone use it? (GFwiki)



What i've noticed...I don't really treat my journal as a serious journal, but that's ok!

Sian's/Dippaaay's/Chickadita Von Tease's 2008 Revvy List!! (written by my friend - we were quite drunk)
1. Bussom lossage + gyming it up 3x a week = new surfer hawt rock chick Sianny.
3. After experiencing the ghetto way of driving in the land of XXXXXXXL cheesburgers (America), come back and learn how to drive like those ghetto ho's.
4. Whilst at Uni surrounded by hot accented Southerners and hot new friends, don't forget us poor bastards stuck in Prestonia - KEEP IN TOUCH OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS.
S ex
P rostitution
O varies
N ockers
T rex
A nal
N ecrophilia
E lephant
I will slap your nipple nuts and throw you to Alaskan bears
T itties
Y eti
(AT UNI!) I have no idea if that's spelt right...again I must emphasize that we were drunk
6. Start filling that piggy bank for trip around the world!!
8. Write and Direct a short film that can involve (diagram of 69ing it) mmmm...
9. Create one giant fuck off photo album and take more photos.
10. Indulge in vanity!! Be the vainest of the vainest. LOVE YOURSELF!! LOOK GOOD = FEEL GOOD!
11. Go to more concerts! Mosh that shit! =)
12. Get ink needled into your skin in the form of a titanian tattoian
14. (Picture of a guy with his dick hanging out who is also wearing a dress)
15. Have a gay experience
16. Flaunt your sexiness
17. Sieze the day or regret the ones you lost.


Currently Playing: OST - Hairspray - Come so far (Got so far to go)

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Dec 25, 2007 - 01:35 PM
Merry Fucking Jebus Day

I'm kidding, I love you all. Even the annoying people, because you entertain me so.

I had a dream I was going out with LeHah...which is weird since i've never spoken to the dude. Sup, LeHah?

What did I get? I would take pictures and be snazzy, but that would require charging some serious battery power. SO A LIST SHALL HAVE TO DO.
- A shit load of jewelry, which is all lovely
- A manequin doll necklace stand, it sounds odd but it's so handy since it hangs the necklaces perfectly so they don't get all tangled
- Makeup
- Bath stuff
- Family Guy Season 6
- A corset style top - and I'm not really one to brag but it looks shit hot on me.
- Gym stuff; bag, t-shirt, running pants. I mentioned how I'm joining the Gym next month and get my arse in gear since I've been meaning to lose a few pounds for a while. Say bye bye to the boobage fuckers.
- Chocolate (^ lolz)
- Vouchers
- MAC AND CHARLIE. That I named after the characters in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. It's this USB plug in Aquarium thing, they're basically cheap plastic fish that bob about in a cheap mini plastic tank. I think it's genius.


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Dec 23, 2007 - 08:37 PM
I voted in the GFF Awards...and I have to say....CLICK TO FIND OUT MORE
So, what's new. I'm home with the parental unit. I don't remember if I mentioned that before so there it is. Enjoy. I feel like making simple sentences to look cool. To also make it seem like i'm really serious. Straight to the point. Or something of that nature. I know. It's rad. Rad. What a funny word. I don't use it. In fact I use it to make fun of American slang. Yanks. Who needs them. I need a few of them. A couple are good friends. The rest? I don't care. I do really. I love you America. You just have gay slang. Twats. I don't mean that. But I do really. I'm kidding. Not really. Am I? Who knows. No i'm not drunk.

2007 is coming to a close. In fact, I'm looking forward to 2008. 8 has always been my favourite number. I find that on a good album, track 8 is always the best track. If a good album doesn't have it's strongest song as track 8, I can let it off. But still, special albums have the best song at track 8. And look at the number 8. It's two everlasting circles on top of each other. As if one symbol of eternity isn't enough, there are TWO. You don't get much better than that.

Resolutions? Hmm, well last year I had a list made by myself and a friend whilst incredibly drunk. Sex was on the list at least 3 times. I failed on that. But I did manage to do a few. They weren't raunchy or scandalous i'm afraid. I broke a few rules too. So after the success of last New Years Eve, my friend and I have decided to get together again and discuss our resolution lists or "Revvy list" as we called it that one fateful night. We will also get pissed once again and write one for 2008. I'm sure sex will take up a good 5 spots on it this year. I LEFT MY 2007 ONE AT UNI. I hate my organisation sometimes.

What else is new. It's Christmas Eve for me now, and I feel like making a list. HOW EXCITING OF YOU SIAN. I know GFF. I know.


My internet seems to be fucking me over again. You know what I dug out under my bed the other day? Not a giant dildo, although that would've been interesting. No, Pokemon albums! 2 of them! It brought me back to when I was 10, learning all their names by heart and singing all these songs. So I ripped them to my itunez and have been grooving to a few. I really have no shame. One night at Uni security had to tell a friend and I to shut up because were were singing the Pokerap too loud. One of them said "It sounds lovely by the way". I thanked him and went about my business.

This picture makes me chuckle. That was a great night, had most of my friends from Preston over at my house and we were talking about High School as if we were 30 years old. It was wonderful, I loved catching up on all the gossip of who's doing what, who's in jail, who's pregnant, which fat bitch became a model - all that jazz.

I feel out of sorts recently, like I have no direction. Granted, I am at home and it's the holidays where I tend to do nothing all the time. Still, I think I need to make a LIST. You know that's something about me that people tend to find amusing, that fact I make lists. Just general lists of things to do, I feel unorganised when I don't have a list.

I have O Holy Night in my head. Only the Rhydian from X Factor performance version. He should've won. He's hot.

I THINK THAT IS ALL. Time to trawl on these very boards and see if there's anything worth looking at.

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Dec 14, 2007 - 07:28 AM
Hey! Well i'm back home from Uni, the journey was very long and filled with Lord of the Rings extended editions. I had to get teary all the time at all the epic moments on public transportation didn't I? Good thing no one really saw me >_>.

SO! The house looks amazing, the parental unit have been busy refurbishing it and it looks stunning. Heated floor tiles ftw.

One thing that sucks about the changes is that Mother bear decided to fiddle with the wiring for the internet to see if she could decrease the amount of wires that are hanging around. Well, the internet works at least - but at a stupidly slow pace. It's like being back on 56k, but even SLOWER. Some pages don't even load at all!

I know I had a few events that I should've participated in this month, but the internet connection has slowed me down to a hault on most occasions so I will have to be excused until this internet malarky gets sorted! SORRY GUYS. I'm not even sure if this will post...took a good 10 minutes for it to load up. Good thing IM programmes work, or shit really would hit the fan in the Sian residence.

It really doesn't feel like Christmas this year, I think i'll start getting excited on Christmas Eve, but I think because I asked for money I really don't know if there is going to be much for me to open. Yes, yes I know Christmas is about family time and Jesus and that crap (Not religious whatsoever), but Christmas has always been Christmas because of the presents. I don't care how that sounds, because to most people it's true. Now, don't be thinking that it's all I care about because sure it's the main reason I get excited about Christmas but really I LOVE the family time vibe that goes on. I love the love that goes on, I love the cold weather, I love wrapping my dogs up in tinsel, I love Christmas dinner with the family and I love the warm fuzzy feeling I get in general. It's there somewhere, ready to burst out for 2007.


Don't you just love listening to songs from your teenage years? I've made a playlist of all the things I listened to in High School - Evanescence, Muse, Within Temptation, Nightwish...OH WAIT I STILL LISTEN TO THEM. But still! Old material that reminds me of the good ol' days. Gotta love the music <3.

Well I'll bring this entry to a close, because I'm getting scared it wont even post. Anywho, as soon as the internet is back to its speedy glory i'll be posting around here a lot more - it's the holidays after all! But until then, I shall remain in my slightly non-internet room playing Silent Hill. Still freaks the shit out of my arse.


Currently Playing: Evanescence - Everybody's Fool

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Dec 1, 2007 - 08:03 PM
Is it just me, or do the GFF Awards kinda suck this year?

Response entries:
Do You Notice.... by The Wise Vivi

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Nov 23, 2007 - 08:14 PM
I'm 50 Cent's girlfriend
I had this dream last night, a lot of random shit happened before this part but basically I was in a very old school in their assembly hall and there was a dancing event happening. The floors were all wooden and creaky, I remember that, and then all of a sudden i'm dancing with 50 Cent. It wasn't typical awkward dancing, this was full on Salsa/Tango style dancing. Then before I know it he's kissing my neck and saying how much he loves me. So then it was naturally assumed for some reason that I was his new girlfriend and it was all over the news that some trampy white chick was his girlfriend. Huzzah! He was a true romantic behind closed doors .

But yeah, weird - I really don't like him but I may have a soft spot for him if I see his videos on tv =p. And he was wearing a lovely suit, not his chav-tastic style of clothing.

Other news? I go home in 2 weeks. I'm getting more excited about the concept now. I miss my dog ;_;. I had a busy busy day today - I love having chaotic days where I do a lot. I have mucho to do this weekend in terms of Uni work, but it should be ok. I really don't know how well i'm progressing since I haven't had any one to one tutorials yet, so for all I know the work i'm doing is complete shit. I really hope now, because it's a lot of money i'm spending for this fucking degree so I really don't want a half arsed grade. TIME TO PICK UP THE PACE.

And i've fallen in love with the library. Free DVD/Video Rental <3.

Currently Playing: Akira Yamaoka - I Want Love (Band Version)

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Nov 21, 2007 - 04:49 PM
I'm making the ultimate Christmas compilation and I know that i'll forget some tunes, so help me out here!

In other news, I shot a 1 minute silent film today about eating cake. We got through 3 chocolate cakes. Rock on.

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Nov 19, 2007 - 05:00 PM
Because it's fucking gay
Response to: Why the fuck not by Grawl

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, line 4:
" and background information. Local TV outlets will get "electronic press"" - Film Art

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can:
Touch the sky.

What is the last thing you watched on tv?
Panorama? Some documentary on the McCann kid.

Without looking, guess what time it is:

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My flat mate playing World of Warcraft.

When did you last step outside? What where you doing?
At 8.30pm to take back some library books.

Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Porn. Next.

What are you wearing?
A gray v-neck jumper that is amazingly soft, black jeans, brown converse type shoes, toastie socks, black bra and knickers.

Did you dream last night?
I DID! And I dreamt that our flat was right on the edge of the coast and there was a giant crocodile eating people. I was running away from it and running into different rooms but it kept appearing everywhere. Then the flat was a giant boat so I tried to sail away, but the crocodile got in the way. Then I was on Jurassic Park island and I was with a group of people trying to sneak around the T-Rex. It could swim too.

When did you last laugh?
Last night, when I was talking about eating without a knife and fork and my friend said "THERE'S NO TIME FOR UTENSILS."

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Seen anything weird lately?
Actually no.

What do you think of this quiz?'s passing the time.

What is the last film you saw?
One I haven't seen before: The Piano, one I have: Kill Bill.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
An Aston Martin.

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Cloud. I'm kidding. I'm not sure, maybe Ryan, Leon, Matthew, Jack.

What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
SCREW YOU BITCH, YOU'RE GOING TO HELL. I'm kidding, come on in.

Response entries:
Because not enough people flock to Sian, and she needs more attention. by No. Hard Pass.
Because it's another one of those things by Krelian

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Nov 16, 2007 - 05:10 PM

So. I was bored and purposefully being distracted by work. Edit if you like (but don't fuck around too much took me ages kk ;_; ). In fact, i'd be intrigued to what you people could say about me. ALSO, how the hell do you upload pictures and that jazz...'cuz that'd be cool.


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Nov 6, 2007 - 09:44 PM



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Oct 28, 2007 - 08:35 PM
Does anyone use it?

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Aug 23, 2007 - 03:19 PM
I be gone!
For 2 weeks, off to sunny sunny Spain. I've never been so lazy with packing in all my life. I still have to pack all the random entertainment that i'll need when i'm there. So far I have...a book. Huzzah! Well take care you crazy cats <3

Currently Playing: KMFDM - Looking For Strange

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Aug 16, 2007 - 06:51 AM
I predicted Bs

English Language and Literature
ELL1 (Creative Writing): A
ELL2 (Anthology): A
ELL3 (Literature 'The Color Purple' and Analysis): B
ELL4 (Literature 'Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing'): Original mark B - Resit mark A
ELL5 (Literature 'The Handmaid's Tale'): A
ELL6 (Synoptic): A

Overall Mark: A

Film Studies
FS1 (Coursework - 2 Analysis essays on chosen films 'Donnie Darko' and 'Ju-On'): A
FS2 (Institutions): B
FS3 (Swinging Britain/The British Film Industry and 'Goldeneye' case study): Original mark C - Resit mark A
FS4 (Coursework - Research Script on chosen films 'The Blair Witch Project' and Practical Film Making): A
FS5 (Hong Kong New Wave and 'City Of God' case study): A
FS6 (Synoptic inc. Shocking Cinema, Dominance of Hollywood and Genre study): A

Overall Mark: A

Media Studies
ME1 (Analysis of Media Text i.e Movie Trailer): Original mark B, Resit Mark A (And it was full fucking marks too)
ME2 (Advertising Analysis): A
ME3 (Coursework - Pre/Post Production work on CD Cover and Movie Poster): A
ME4 (Coursework - Analysis of the moral panic surrounding the Columbine Massacre): B
ME5 (TV and Music Industry): A
ME6 (Synoptic based on the Crime Genre, Analysis of Text (CSI), Institution, Audience and Ideology): A

Overall Mark: A


The Dinosaur, which I have named Derick, is a little personal joke with my sister. When I worked at Next (where she works) I used to unpack boxes in a corridor on my own. Then one day, amidst all the crap I usually unpack there is Derick. So I sat him on a box and talked to him whilst I worked on my lonesome. Since it's Next, everything is overpriced so I never bought it before I got the boot, so now my sister Louise bought him for me <3. Reunited!

Currently Playing: Kate Nash - Foundations

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Aug 14, 2007 - 11:36 AM
Oh journal, I have abandoned you
Which is true really, haven't made an entry since April. Well what's happened in this time. I had my 18th birthday, they thre a surprise party which was marvelous. I visited 3 universities that I was interested in going to, one of which required an interview since there were limited places on the course. I got into said University, but I didn't accept their offer. In your FACE London. I ended up choosing Falmouth University, which is in Cornwall. Incase you're not familiar with Cornwall, many have told me it's the most beautiful place in England. When I visited Falmouth, I just felt at home. It was a nice small town with lots of bars and live music and it's right by the sea. The Uni was really impressive, excellent facilities, the accomodation was above normal standards (double bed and en suite baby).

What's great about my choice, is that they offered me an Unconditional offer; which means i'm in if I accept their offer even if I failed my exams. So - huzzah i'm going to Uni! I've already put in a deposit for accomodation, got myself a new bank account, sorted out my student loan, bought my text books and sent off for Student ID. It's crazy how fast it's all gone, I still think i'm going back to College for another year, but nope. I've left college for good.

Which brings me on to another point - I left college. It wasn't sad, but it wasn't happy. Like I said it doesn't really feel like i've left. But hey, it was 2 years so it was a short amount of time to grow too attached to the place. I loved it there though, i'll miss it there and it's chilled out we-don't-give-a-fuck-what-you-do-or-what-you-look-like-you're-cool-with-me atmosphere.

I saw Muse at Wembley Stadium. Infuckingcredible. AS ALWAYS. Epic would be a good word to describe it. God no other band can make me feel as happy as they do. Good times. I realised i've seen Muse more in London than I have near my home town.

I had my first gig with my band, we were in the paper.

I like how we weren't even headlining yet we got the biggest picture. Cool beans. The gig went really well - people loved us. Which just gave us a hunger to keep on going and do more gigs, so we're gonna get a mini tour planned when I come back from Uni for my holidays and such.

I went to Brighton for a week with the gals in the band. It was great. Lotsa fun.

I get my A-Level results on Thursday. I really don't know what i'll get. Even though my results don't depend on my place at Uni I still want to do well. I know I failed General Studies, hell I quoted Eddie Izzard in my answer. And drew a picture. Good times.

So that's it from me and my rantings.


Currently Playing: Nightwish - The Poet And The Pendulum

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Apr 11, 2007 - 07:21 PM
Within Temptation Concert

<3. Amazing. I think i'm in love with the guitarist, the one with hair that is.

Welcome back dudes.

Currently Playing: Within Temptation - The Heart Of Everything

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Mar 9, 2007 - 10:38 AM
English Language & Literature - A
Film Studies (Resit) - A
Film Studies - A
Media Studies - A


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Mar 8, 2007 - 05:45 PM
New clothes
and an excuse to be posey

new camera <3.

Currently Playing: I CAN BE YOUR HERO BABY

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Feb 16, 2007 - 08:03 PM
LOST SPOILER: Hurley, Sawyer and Jin die happened in my dream anyway. Hurley was angry at Sawyer for eating something, so he started trying to kill him with a bamboo stick. Jin was tied to a log for some reason, fell into a river and Hurley speared him to death by accident. Then Sawyer killed Hurley for killing Jin, and then Sawyer died anyway. When they were burning the bodies, Sajid was fat and had long hair. Oh, and David Palmer from 24 was in it trying to settle a deal with the others with his president talk.

Before that part of the dream, I was actually dreaming of trying to fall asleep. Then I turned on the tv and that's how the Lost shit happened. Man before that the dream was so didn't feel like I had slept at all because of it.

I've been to 2 Universities so far:
Anglia Ruskin (Cambridge) - Beautiful place, the Uni was so so. The course seems really good, but the place just didn't seem that great in terms of the general vibe I was getting. Still, it's one of my possibilities. I have an offer there anyway so it's all good.

Westminster (London) - London is London, personally i'm not a huge fan of London so i'm not too keen on living there. The Uni itself was miles better than Anglia Ruskin, very modern and excellent facilities. Great huh? Well, I felt quite intimidated by the whole thing, I felt quite out of place there even though I was impressed by the standards. We watched some of the Films that students made there...and holy shit the quality was amazing it was hard to believe that a student had made it. I don't have an offer from them so far, I went there for an interview (out of the 1500 applicants, around 100 get an interview and there's only 55 places on the course I want to go on). The course itself seems good, the only problem is it's entirely Film Production - so unlike my other 2 choices if I decide that i'd rather go into journalism i'd be pretty much screwed.

Falmouth - The Uni i've been interested in since I started looking, located in a beautiful part of England right by the ocean, looks really nice there. The course itself seems decent enough, a good mixture of theory and practical work. The distance doesn't really bother me, and the fact it's a small place just makes me want to go there even more. I like small, cozy, friendly places rather than huge cities. The problem - I haven't heard from them yet so I may not even have a place there. As soon as I hear, and if I get a place, i'll be visiting there to see if it's as good as i'm hoping. If I like it there, then this will be my number 1 choice.

What else...I saw Hot Fuzz - wasn't as funny as I thought it would be but it was very very cool. The last 45 minutes of the film are just amazing, you can tell throughout it all that it's made by a bunch of big kids who wanted to play with guns but the result is great. The more I think about it, the more I realised how much I liked it - so a thumbs up from moi.

I'm currently addicted to 24. I'm on the last episode of Series 3, and Series 4 arrived this morning <3.

I've ordered a new Laptop, so that means I will have MY OWN computer thing (no more parents bugging me about using up the hardrive with my music and shit, and no more bugging about being on the internet) and i'll have the internet in the comfort of my own bedroom. Huzzah! Plus, i'll be plugging it up to my awesome kickass glass shattering Stereo so I can blast out much deserved tuneage.

I have work to do for Monday that i've had a week to do ;_;.

I'm on medication for an acne problem i've been suffering from for about...6 years now i'd say. It's the strongest stuff you can take, and I can't drink alcohol while i'm on it. Which means I can't get wasted on my 18th ;_;. The side effects can include depression and suicidal thoughts, and people have committed suicide while taking this stuff. So keep me happy dudes.


EVERYONE, should hear this song...EVERYONE. The Lost Boys....what a film.

Currently Playing: Gerard McMann - Cry Little Sister (The Lost Boys Theme)

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[public entry #45]

Jan 26, 2007 - 08:32 PM
Just because.

Mystery the moon
A hole in the sky
A supernatural nightlight
So full but often right
A pair of eyes a closing one
A chosen child in golden sun
A marble dog that chases cars
To farthest reaches of the beach and far beyond into the swimming sea of stars

The cosmic fish they love to kiss
They're giving birth to constellations
No riffs and oh no reservation
If they should fall you get a wish or dedication
May I suggest you get the best
For nothing less than you and I
Let's take a chance as this romance is rising over before we lose the lighting
Oh bella bella please
Bella you beautiful luna
Oh bella do what you do

You are an illuminating anchor
Of leagues to infinite number
Of crashing waves and breaking thunder
Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger
You're dancing naked there for me
You expose all memory
You make the most of boundary
You're the ghost of royalty imposing love
You are the queen and king combining everything
Intertwining like a ring around the finger, of a girl
I'm just a singer, you're the world
All I can bring ya
Is the language of a lover
Bella luna, my beautiful beautiful moon
How you swoon me like no other

May I suggest you get the best
Of your wish may I insist
That no contest for little you or smaller I
A larger chance yet, but all them may lie
On the rise, on the brink of our lives
Bella please
Bella you beautiful luna
Oh bella do what you do
Bella luna
My beautiful beautiful moon
How you swoon me like no other

Currently Playing: Jason Mraz - Bella Luna

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[public entry #44]

Jan 17, 2007 - 03:02 PM
Face was in my dream last night...
...and he was gay. That amused me so.

I also had a fight with a woman in a shop who proceeded to chase me around with some sort of vegetable goop since I was giving her jip about her talking a load of crap about young people. Then I started trying on some dresses, I remember a bright purple one that was quite shocking. When I was allowed to go since I smashed things to get rid of the psycho woman, everyone had grown attached to my antics and gave me a nice parting gift.

I also had a dream I travelled through time with Doctor Who and a werewolf man. That was cool.

Exams this week...3 on Friday. One after the other, after the other - all ESSAY type exams too. My hand wont be able to cope ;_;.

How're tricks?

Currently Playing: KMFDM - Megalomaniac

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Dec 11, 2006 - 11:42 AM
What's all this pizza shit about?


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Dec 10, 2006 - 01:32 PM
What the fuck's a Wii

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[public entry #41]

Dec 8, 2006 - 04:47 AM






That is all >_>

Currently Playing: Muse - Map of the Problematique

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[public entry #40]

Sep 8, 2006 - 05:28 PM
I now hate Justin Timberlake
since my mp3 always dies when it plays a song from him >_>. It's a sign you might say. Evanescence new album, me likes. College, I got the teachers that I wanted. Sure I wanted Mark for more than 2 lessons a week but at least it's better than nothing. Got the fun guy for Media instead of the miserable old woman which is greeeat. Going on a trip on Wednesday to talk about the music industry, fun stuff. Watching short films in Film, one was called "About a Girl" by David Percival, that was pretty powerful. There was a French one translated title "The Man Without A Head" by the director of Amelie, that was beautiful I thought. Then there was some random Spanish one with some obscure title, that was pretty hilarious. Man i'm tired...

Got HOMEWORK on the first week BACK how CRAP is THAT. I need sleep ;_;.

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[public entry #39]

Sep 5, 2006 - 06:15 AM
Bringing SexyBack
The new Justin Timberlake album that this shit it good ;_;

Currently Playing: Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds

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[public entry #38]

Sep 3, 2006 - 11:10 AM
zomg a picture of ME

I kid you not.

Went out last night for a meal and a groove with the girlies, twas a lot of fun. College tomorrow, last day of freedom today. I've spent it generally eating and doing sweet f.a. Pretty productive huh? I really really REALLY hope I get some decent teachers last year because I struck gold last year since I had the coolest teacher for 2 subjects. I don't expect that to happen again, since I know I wont have him for Film all the time but for a few lessons but I hope to Matt Bellamy that I get him for Media ;_;. That was such a fun class, I hope the cool people took it up again.

Muse in November =D. 4th time seeing them baby, gets better each time.

Currently Playing: Muse - Knights of Cydonia

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Sep 1, 2006 - 06:24 AM
Why is it that in my dreams i'm a smoker?

Well i'm pretty bored so i'm gonna just rant. I went to a chiropractor on Tuesday and oh em gee, when people crack their knuckles it just goes right through me so to have my back and neck cracked was just horrific. I'd like to say BUT I FEEL ALL BETTER NOW but I don't. If anything the lower end of my spine seems to be poking out and causing sharp pain if I touch it...should I be worried ;_;. That hasn't happened in a looooong time. I've got to do these stretches anyway because apparently my pelvis is not where it should be so I have to really stretch my hamstrings to correct it. He told me all the science but I forgot, but fingers crossed i'll have a fast recovery since i'm young. It's quite funny, I had no idea what was wrong with my back and this guy pretty much figured it out in 10 minutes. Professionalism I say.

I went to a partay that night which was a lot of fun, stayed up til like 6am before crashing out. So much for sleeping pattern...i've actually been good but now I seem to just be sleeping for like 10-12 hours instead of just 8 or 9. For example last night I went to bed at 1.30am and got up at 11.30. I've got college in 3 days...really need to start working on the sleeping pattern. Actually, 11.30 isn't so bad considering I was waking up at 2.30pm for about 3 weeks. So go me! I'll start setting my alarm for 10.

I'm going out tomorrow for a meal and a groove with the girlies, should be fun which reminds me I need to charge my batteries on my camera. College tutorial on Monday! I find out who I have for lessons and such, fingers crossed I get cool teachers again ;_;. I wonder now since i've dropped a lesson i'll have more time off...that would be great.

Currently Playing: oooOOOooOOooo the boy's bad news!

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Aug 30, 2006 - 02:46 PM
Went to Leeds festival for the Sunday, bought a nice purple and black stripey hat which you can see here:

Feeder were Amazing, was just so much fun everyone was just having the time of their lives, made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Artic Monkeys were so so, never been a huge fan anyway. The Streets were pretty good actually, not really my kind of music but I definitely enjoyed their performance. And well Muse, what can I say? Third time seeing them and it never gets old. Seeing them in the thunder and lightening while it was pouring down with rain just didn't bother anyone, if anything it made it more atmospheric. They had fireworks and fire and I was in the middle of a group of mental fans like myself so I had the time of my life. Infookincredible.

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Aug 23, 2006 - 04:31 PM
The most fucked up dream i've ever had
I'm sure i'll get comments describing even more fucked up dreams you fuckers have fucking had...but I don't care, to ME this just takes the cake. I'm incredibly squeamish when it comes to things like a pus filled abscess growing off someones face. Like in the old horror films like Evil Dead when all this green shit would just burst out of them UGH it makes me SICK.

Since i'm bored i'll start my dream from the start. So I was at home and then all of a sudden I see one of my best friends, Katie, on TV modelling her Yuna cosplay at some convention (damn you when cosplay goes wrong thread!) and I was saying "holy crap that's Katie". Then she ends up winning first place and when the panel of judges said to her "So I believe music is your life" and she said "Yes, music is everything" then started ranting on and on about our band bigging it up and the crowd were loving it. Then some American presenters come on and discuss what she was saying, saying "that band of hers, especially Sian, are definitely the next big thing folks". In my dreams right? Lolz.

Then I had to go to college and I was ranting to my Dad in the car how we're famous now since we got mentioned of TV. When I arrived at college I seemed to have ended up in the changing rooms at my High School where Katie was there and she hung her bags over this peg that was the water fountain, so I had to move all her shit out the way to get a drink of water. Sheesh. Then Christina Aguilera waltzes in and starts complaining about how her family are freaking out because her new born brother has down syndrome. So she's going on and on and being a selfish twat basically, and I kept coming out with this spiritual shit like "there is still hope, hold on to it as the Africans would say."

Then these 2 guys run into the changing room, well it's not so much of a changing room now it's more of a changing room/meeting area complete with tables and such. So they start running around talking to their friends and I continue my conversation with Christina. Then I have my leavers book out and the 2 guys come over and sign it, even though I have no idea who they are. Then news comes that the teachers are coming for the guys, since they're not students at the school they start panicking. Then it turns into something from Columbine since they start freaking out smashing windows and eventually start blowing things up and shooting teachers. I blag my way into their little "club" since I don't wanna get shot, and join in shooting people. Yes I have a sick mind and read about things like this too late at night so it corrupts my fragile little mind.

Anywho, someone sets them on fire in the end and I do a runner and go home. When i'm at home my Media/Film teacher is staying with us for some reason, and I have to clear up all the dishes and glasses that i've left around the house. But when I took a batch into the kitchen, i'd go back into the room i'd cleared and there would be MORE there. It was like freaky voodoo magic I tell ya. So eventually I end up smashing a glass and my Mum freaks out. Then I was talking to my teacher about something and my brother turns up with some chavette so we turned him away since we had no room.

Then on the way to college for a second time I end up in like a field somewhere with tents and stuff, and all these little kids are there. Anyway this is where the sick part of the dream comes up. Ok so I have an itch on my shoulder but it turns out to be this huge fucking abscess looking thing with hair growing out of it. It's that bloody huge that I thought that it was just a big glop of vaseline sitting on my shoulder, so I start scooping it out but it's not vaseline after all. So when I finally seemed to clear it all up there's like a tiny smidget left, so like any spot I squeeze it and my whole shoulder rips apart and all this pus comes pouring out. Then it turned into what looked like mince or brains just exploding out of my shoulder. It was disgusting...whenever I think about it my shoulder gets all funny and I feel sick. BALWREURHEUWIHREUKWRHE.

Then all the kids at the camp site start to go insane and possessed, so I fly away and wake up. The end.

So I was bored as hell earlier, and my Dad was gonna switch over so I could use the internet and since we're using a laptop and the mouse doesn't plug into this on, we've got that gay little touchpad scroller. It took about 10 fucking minutes for him to click about 4 things, he was using his whole hand like a gimp to move the cursor. I just kept repeating over and over "just use ONE finger Dad, it's quicker". But no, he continues to ignore me. BLAH TO IT ALL.

Yeah i'm bored can't you tell?

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Aug 22, 2006 - 02:38 PM
Finished FF8 again and...stuff
Been the quickest run through of that game, it was actually kinda boring this time through. I have played it 4 times I think...ah well maybe I should start buying new games to waste my time on >_>. I did buy Who Framed Roger Rabbit the other day, what a film ;_;. Never gets old. What else to rant about in this pointless entry...

Leeds in 4 days! Whooo! It really doesn't feel like i'm going, I think the excitement will take over when i'm there. One of my buddies is having a birthday bash at his place next Tuesday, so that should be fun. My friend's coming over this Thursday, well we're going to some random guys house party and then coming back here at some point for random chat about crazyness. Good stuff. Should be going to Alton Towers next week too! I LOVE that place, it's so much fun. Best theme park in Britain =D. I might be going to the zoo too hehe.


Currently Playing: beeping

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[public entry #33]

Aug 18, 2006 - 07:01 PM
You know you wanna take this survey
Q1) Sleep with or without clothes on?
With, usually PJ bottoms and a band t-shirt of some sort. Right now it's Nightwish.

Q2) Prefer black or blue pens?
Blue all the way! I heart my blue fountain pen, it makes my writing look neat.

Q3) Dress up on Halloween?
With my face, everyday is Halloween. No I don't, I used to...those were the good ol' days ;_; Now Halloween just annoys me because of all the kids =p.

Q4) Like to travel?
I like to travel to a place and generally lounge about there, but I would love to travel if I had the money.

Q5) Like anyone?
Of course, I LOVE YOU ALL.

Q6) Do they know?

Q7) Who sleeps with you every night?
The air?

Q8) Think you're attractive?
Not really no, some days I have a "hey I look sorta decent" but those are rare.

Q9) Want to get married?
Yes ;_;

Q10) To:
Matt Bellamy rawr.

Q11) Are you a good student?
In a way, i'm a pretty loud student =p. But I tend to get the good grades so I guess so.

Q12) Are you currently happy?
I guess so yeah.

Q13) Have you ever cheated?? Been cheated on?
Never been out with anyone to cheat or be cheated on.

Q14) Birthplace?
Somewhere in North Wales...I can never remember the name ;_; I probably couldn't spell it either.

Q15) Christmas or Halloween?
Christmas, it tends to make me feel happy to be with the family.

Q16) Colored or black-and-white photo?
Depends what occasion, random candid shots of friends and such colour but those more artistic moments seem to look rather stunning in black and white.

Q17) Do long distance relationships work?
Depends on what type of relationship it is and how big the distance is. If we're talking same country, different city I guess it could work. If we're talking different countries, that tends to be a tricky one. Some people can deal with the pressure of being apart for so long but others can't. In my personal experience, at the end of the day no they don't work.

Q18) Do you believe in astrology?
I don't believe in it but I still like to read it. I love Mystic Megs column in some random free magazine because it always has the final "DESTINY BRINGS YOU TO A TENNIS COURT" or something crazy like that. The funny thing is sometimes they match up, since the other week it said "DESTINY TAKES YOU TO AN OPEN AIR FESTIVAL" Leeds babay <3.

Q19) Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, but I could be proven wrong someday. I just don't see how you can fall in love simply by seeing them. I think love comes after the attraction.

Q20) Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
Personally I don't, but i've been told I am. I just tend to be the one to talk the most and start the conversations and do something stupid.

Q21) Do you drink?
Not excessively but on ocassions.

Q22) Do you make fun of people?
Oh God yeah, not to make them feel bad but just silly little jokes here and there.

Q23) Do you think dreams eventually come true?
Depends on how hard you work for them.

Q24) Favorite fictional character?

Q25) Go to the movies or rent?

Q26) Have you ever moved?
Twice, once from my birthplace in Wales to Southport and again from Southport to Preston.

Q27) Have you ever stolen anything?
Lets see:
- A ring
- Around 4 Sega Megadrive games
- 3 Gameboy Games
- A dolphin ornament
- 2 hairbrushes (I don't know why)
- Pint glasses from pubs
- Monopoly
- A little ball with some sort of animal face on
- The Nightmare Before Christmas on video
- Pens, paper (glossy), writing pads, general stationary
- A Canon SLR camera
I'm not a thief.

Q28) How's the weather right now?
I dunno, it's night. Just...calm.

Q29) Last time you cut your own hair?
Last month methinks.

Q30) Last person you talked to on the phone?
Mumsie about my exam results.

Q31) Last time you showered?
Haha, good question...Wednesday.

Q32) Loud or soft music?
Most of the time, loud but I do have my moments of softness.

Q33) Mcdonalds or Burger King?
McDonalds, i've had some random cravings for McDonalds recently.

Q34) Night or day?
Night, since I tend to be more awake due to my sleeping pattern.

Q35) Number of pillows?

Q36) Piano or guitar?
To play, piano because i'm better at it. To listen to hmmm...I couldn't decide ;_;

Q37) Future job?
Rawk Star/Film Director.

Q38) Current job?
Professional Slob.

Q39) Current love?
Talking to myself.

Q40) Current longing?
Hmm, to magically lose weight =D

Q41) Current disappointment?
The fact that TV will be covering Reading instead of Leeds when Muse are playing ;_;

Q42) Current annoyance?
This laptop mouse scroller thing, I WANT A MOUSE.

Q43) Last thing you ate?
Beans on Toast, legend.

Q44) Last thing you bought?

The brown one =D

Q45) Most recent thing you are looking forward to?

Q46) What are you hearing right now?
"Ooooooooooh you set my soul alight"

Q47) Plans for the weekend?
Nope, not yet anything can happen.

Q48) What did you do today?
Sweet F.A

Q49) Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?
Well since it's playing "Our hopes and expectations, Black Holes and Revelations." Starlight <3.

Q50) Pick a movie quote:
I'm hopeless with movie quotes.

You know you want to:
Q1) Sleep with or without clothes on?

Q2) Prefer black or blue pens?

Q3) Dress up on Halloween?

Q4) Like to travel?

Q5) Like anyone?

Q6) Do they know?

Q7) Who sleeps with you every night?

Q8) Think you're attractive?

Q9) Want to get married?

Q10) To:

Q11) Are you a good student?

Q12) Are you currently happy?

Q13) Have you ever cheated?? Been cheated on?

Q14) Birthplace?

Q15) Christmas or Halloween?

Q16) Colored or black-and-white photo?

Q17) Do long distance relationships work?

Q18) Do you believe in astrology?

Q19) Do you believe in love at first sight?

Q20) Do you consider yourself the life of the party?

Q21) Do you drink?

Q22) Do you make fun of people?

Q23) Do you think dreams eventually come true?

Q24) Favorite fictional character?

Q25) Go to the movies or rent?

Q26) Have you ever moved?

Q27) Have you ever stolen anything?

Q28) How's the weather right now?

Q29) Last time you cut your own hair?

Q30) Last person you talked to on the phone?

Q31) Last time you showered?

Q32) Loud or soft music?

Q33) Mcdonalds or Burger King?

Q34) Night or day?

Q35) Number of pillows?

Q36) Piano or guitar?

Q37) Future job?

Q38) Current job?

Q39) Current love?

Q40) Current longing?

Q41) Current disappointment?

Q42) Current annoyance?

Q43) Last thing you ate?

Q44) Last thing you bought?

Q45) Most recent thing you are looking forward to?

Q46) What are you hearing right now?

Q47) Plans for the weekend?

Q48) What did you do today?

Q49) Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?

Q50) Pick a movie quote:

Currently Playing: Muse - Starlight

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[public entry #32]

Aug 17, 2006 - 10:28 AM
Originally Posted by sian
So anyways, my AS results are on Thursday. Like Majin, I shall now predict what I will get, DUH DUH DUUUUH the crystal ball clouds over to reveal:

Film: B...I would say an A but I never like to think that high because anything else would be a let down =p
Media: B
Photography: C possibly a B
English: Fuck knows, I think I messed that exam up big time and I have no coursework to fall back on.
Film FS1 - A
Total Grade: B

Media ME1 - B
ME2 - A
ME3 - A
Total Grade: A

Photography Unit 1 - B
Unit 2 - B
Unit 3 - C (I thought that was my best piece too haha)
Total Grade: B

English Language and Literature ELL1 - A
ELL2 - A
ELL3 - B
Total Grade: A

AN A IN ENGLISH WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously! I spent a year pretty much sat at the back dribbling since I had no idea what the hell was going on, everyone around me was so fucking intelligent, I was getting D's for my essays and I had no idea if what I was writing in my exam was right, I actually brokedown to my parents a while ago because I thought I was failing and it was the one subject in the back of their minds that they wanted me to do well in, so geting an A is incredible!

I was quite surprised that I got an A in Media and not Film, but it was just that one mark that would've boosted my grade up since the B I got in the second paper was also one mark off the next grade. DAMMIT SIAN IF YOU JUST REMEMBERED ONE MORE LITTLE THING! But still wow, an A in Media who would've thought, I was more preoccupied with Download on the last exam and I got an A. Still that was the one when we had to watch that Dark Water trailer about 6 times, man that film looked shite.

Well i'm really chuffed with my results, thank god for that. My Media and Film teacher came over and said well done, I enrolled for the next year (I dropped Photography, I was sorta hoping i'd do better in English since I wanted to drop Photography since it was more annoying than anything. Took the fun out of taking pictures =p) so I shall be taking Film, Media and English next year. Dunno what I got in general studies, I think they're gonna post them.

Go back to college on the 4th to collect my timetable and the such then I start my lessons on the 7th, which is a Thursday. Why not just give us a week off hah.


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Aug 14, 2006 - 06:39 PM
I'm loaded but due to the worst circumstance
So my mum and dad call me and my sister into the front room for a "family talk". This means that either a) we've done something wrong or b) someone's died. This time it was one of those ambivalent moments, my Nana passed away due to cancer in May and I know my Dad, Uncle and Grandad have had to deal with a lot since then. I, myself, have been pretty disconnected from the world since one of my best friends had died 2 months before my Nana so i've been feeling pretty...numb for a long time.

But the "family talk" was to say that my Nana had left £4000 to me in her will. Now...i'm the type of person who has never had so much as £100 in my bank and having £20 on me made me feel like I was loaded. So hearing that I will be receiving £4000 is pretty insane. Obviously I wont be spending the money willy nilly on anything I want, i'll definitely be putting half of it, if not more into a savers account that I wont touch unless I have to (which will probably help for uni fee's and the such). The other half will go into my current account for me to spend as I please.

I feel like I want to get excited, but this is where I start to feel the ambivalence because of how I got the money. My Mum gave me the good idea that I should buy something really nice for myself that I can keep to remind me of Nana and what she left me, so i'll probably buy myself a really nice cross necklace since I have loads of them but they tend to go all green since they're cheap most of the time =p.

Since Nana would've wanted me to do something good with the money and not just spend it on random shit, i'm gonna start planning some driving lessons. When I have enough confidence to drive hopefully mother dearest will take me out for some extra practise. When I pass my test the good idea would be to get a car right? Well insurance itself is about £1000 for teenagers, so I don't think i'll be buying a car anytime soon until I can afford the insurance. However, I think i'll be able to borrow my parents car whenever I want to go somewhere if they're not driving. So all is good.

For university my parents bought my sister a laptop, so I was thinking of getting myself a nice laptop and asking the 'rents if they can help me out with it because i'll want to get one that is decent so it'll probably be more than what they payed for my sister. If I get that, not only will it mean I wont get the blame for clogging up the computer but I can have intarweb in the comfort of my bedroom. Yay =D. If I get that soon then i'll have it for when I go to uni so it will be useful.

Once I make all my sensible purchases, i'll have more than enough to last me a long time in terms of the random crap that i'd want to buy (clothes, dvd's, cd's etc). So i'm pretty much sorted for cash. Still i'd rather have my Nana here instead of the money.

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[public entry #30]

Aug 14, 2006 - 12:22 PM
Justin Timberlake is in fact Ecco the Dolphin
Do you not think in that Sexyback song there's a part with the weird layered vocals where it sounds like Ecco the dolphin being attacked? That fucking game had the most vile sound effects that will ring in my head for life...freaked me out ;_;

So anyways, my AS results are on Thursday. Like Majin, I shall now predict what I will get, DUH DUH DUUUUH the crystal ball clouds over to reveal:

Film: B...I would say an A but I never like to think that high because anything else would be a let down =p
Media: B
Photography: C possibly a B
English: Fuck knows, I think I messed that exam up big time and I have no coursework to fall back on.

There's been an awful lot of catchy songs being released recently that I really shouldn't like, such as Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous, Justin Timberlake - Sexyback and Beyonce - Deja Vu. But of course there is always the amazingness of Muse's Starlight and Evanescence's Call me when you're sober to balance out the pop =p.

Oh yeah, the computer has been taken in and apparently the hard drive is screwed so who knows what happened there. Dunno if we're just gonna get it fixed and have nothing on it or keep using the laptop in the meantime until we eventually in the far future get a new one.

I was putting away the eggs in the fridge before and I must have a firm grip because it cracked and went everywhere ;_;. Oh dear indeed.

That is all for now!

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[public entry #29]

Aug 13, 2006 - 02:10 PM
Your 1950s Name is:

Wanda Priscilla

What's your 1950s Name?

You Are 60% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

You Are 50% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

You Have Low Self Esteem 16% of the Time

Which can be translated to mean, you have high self-esteem and a healthy sense of self worth.
You believe in yourself, and you know how to be the real you. You love yourself, imperfections and all.

How is Your Self Esteem?

Really? o_O

You Failed 8th Grade Geography

Sorry, you only got 2/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Geography?


Your Hair Should Be Blue

Wild, brilliant, and out of control.
You're a risk taker with an eye to the future.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Your EQ is 140

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

You Are 40% Lady

You tend to make up your rules of etiquette, throwing all conventions aside.
And while you try to be a lady (sometimes), your behavior is often quite shocking.

Are You A Lady?

Oh dear.

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2

"Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away"

You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments.
And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

What's Your Theme Song?

Sian's Aliases

Your movie star name: Crisps Vincent

Your fashion designer name is Sian Paris

Your socialite name is Cammy Manchester

Your fly girl / guy name is S Wal

Your detective name is Dolphin Fulwood

Your barfly name is Chocolate Vodka

Your soap opera name is Jennifer The Gables

Your rock star name is Chocolate Cheetah

Your Star Wars name is Siapep Walchr

Your punk rock band name is The Mellow Balloon

The Amazing Meganame Generator

Halloween Horoscope for Aries

You're a total candy hound who will do anything for a sugar fix.
And to get the most candy, you'll wear the wildest costume possible.

Costume suggestions: A superhero or famous rock star

Signature Halloween candy: Mini Snickers bars

What's Your Halloween Horoscope?

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Were A Jaguar

A shapeshifter that understands the patterns of chaos.
You are powerful and move without fear in dark places.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

You Are 28% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You're pretty grounded, though you have your occasional paranoid moments.
Just make sure to ignore those voices in your head!

Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I dunno, press the button and find out."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 80%

Pride: 40%

Greed: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Lust: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 20%

You will die with your hand down your underwear, watching Star Trek.

How Sinful Are You?

You Are 34% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Greasy Beekeeper.

Where You Lived: Ireland.

How You Died: The Plague.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your Monster Profile

Wicked Vagabond

You Feast On: Hot Dogs

You Lurk Around In: Swingers Clubs

You Especially Like to Torment: Republicans

What's Your Monster Name?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent.
You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored.
You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts.
And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

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[public entry #28]

Aug 10, 2006 - 06:32 PM
Please ;_;

Currently Playing: NOTHING AHHHHHH

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[public entry #27]

Aug 9, 2006 - 06:34 PM
zomg I get blamed for everything
My computer decided to stop working today, when it's starting up it gets past the XP loading bar thing, a blue screen flashes up for less than a second and then automatically resets and does this continually. Obviously since i'm the one who uses the internet the most out of the family I am to blame for the already shitty computers behaviour. It's basically screwed, and when I attempted to fix the problem (just turning things off and on and going onto menu screens where I had no idea what I was doing) I get the good ol' "it's your fault for going on all those weird websites". YOU ARE A WEIRD WEBSITE GFF.

I mean, I update my virus protection all the time, we have a decent firewall and yeah I tend to download music from torrents but that's about it really. Other than that I spend most of my hours online talking to people, but the family seem to think I spend hours just staring at web pages downloading virus's for the hell of it. So I get ze blame, I also got the "maybe if you contributed to the bills then we'd be able to get a better computer" umm...i'm 17 I don't have a job i'm still at college quit your whining i'll be gone next year and don't try and pull the "we're so broke" card because you're planning a fuck off extension on the house. I can't wait to go to uni, and the uni I hopefully will be going to will be as far away as possible from here. Literally, it's all the way down south right on the coast.

It's a weird thought that i'll be packing up and leaving home next year, i'll probably get homesick for about a day and then realise that I don't have parents judging me. It's got to the point now that when they try and argue with me, or try and tell me something about myself that SHOULD make me feel sorry for myself, I can just answer them in a calm way and make a valid point. Then they start telling me i've got an attitude problem for merely voicing a point of view on the situation. For example my sleeping pattern has been fucked recently, i've been going to sleep at about 5am and Mum attempted to make me feel bad by giving me a disapproving tone when she said she knew what time I went to bed and I said "Yeah my sleeping pattern is fooked but it doesn't really affect me because I don't have to get up at a certain time so i'm ok with it". And also when she tried to make me feel guilty because I just slob around the house and don't get dressed I say "What's the point in getting dressed, i'm not going anywhere". Sometimes I think they act like this towards me because they're jealous of the fact that i'm a slob and I can be. Don't get me wrong, i'm living my slob days right here and now when I can, when the time comes i'll get myself a job and do work but in the meantime it's the holidays and I just wanna chill.

Plus, my pay from my temporary job at Next has just been transferred into the good ol' piggy bank. I still need to get back the tax money and also receive another paycheck since they didn't pay me for 10 hours. So as soon as I can double check that the money is all there i'll be doing some shopping whooo. I'm buying a couple of DVD's online then i'll go shopping for some clothes, new college year starts next month so I don't wanna look too much of a tramp wearing the same things all year like I did last year =p.

What else...well i'm using a laptop at the moment but I don't think i'll be getting online as much since I can't actually do all the stuff that I do since it's not my laptop. Stuff meaning aimlessly sorting out picture and music files, downloading albums, talking to people on messengers that work, listening to music etc. But at least I have some form of access to the internet, during the holidays this thing is a boredom breaker. Along with playing through FF8 AGAIN >_>. What it's my favourite game ;_;. Still, I really have noticed this time around the bad dialogue. It's like Squall doesn't think much of Rinoa but as soon as she goes into a coma he's suddenly in love and saying all this mushy crap that is so out of character. Still, gotta love the angst.

Thanks to Grawl posting up the Grudge 2 trailer I had a dream with the creepy Japanese girl. After a lot of running around and having her chasing me, when she finally caught me she just wanted a hug. Bless, don't get scared of the freaky Japanese people they just want some love!

Peace out.

Currently Playing: tapping on the window OMG I'M GONNA DIE

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[public entry #26]

Aug 7, 2006 - 01:46 PM
Dreams that make you thank fuck it's the holidays
I had one of those vivid dreams where I can swear to myself while i'm asleep that i'm actually awake. What happened in the dream was basically I was back to college and the dream ended with me going to sleep to wake up the next day and go again. So I actually do wake up and panic since I look at the clock at it's like 12 (i'm not a lazy bitch, I just seem to go to sleep at obscure hours) and start thinking "SHIT I'M LATE." Then I finally come to my senses, realise that it's the holidays and go back to sleep feeling warm and fuzzy. Yay.

I'm bored ;_;

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[public entry #25]

Aug 5, 2006 - 07:54 PM
Journals > Forum

So today was my first time out of the house in about a week. No i'm not that sad that I did this on purpose, i've been sick for the past week and I THINK it's safe to say that i'm all better. Whoo! Well my first venture out the house was to a farm show hrhr. My mum wanted to go for the hell of it so I tagged along since it was a chance to go somewhere. It was pretty much full of horse, cows, sheep and dogs and some cool stalls. If I had money I probably would've bought some jewelery but I didn't ;_;. Seeing all those show horses just makes you wanna buy a horse since they're just so beautiful. Still, I know how much it costs to look after a horse and how much work has to go into it and unless i'm loaded one day i'm sure I wont be purchasing a horse anytime soon.

I also had probably the biggest and best ice cream i've ever had. It was just a simple vanillia 99, but sweet child of mine it was gorgeous. Also, I witnessed today not only horses being shown, but cows. I saw a few cows walk past with ribbons on, how crazy is that? And rabbits too! Mother and I finished the day in the beer tent, then briefly watched a magic show which was a load of bollocks. The guy was trying his best to entertain a load of miserable farmer people who would rather see horses than him light himself on fire, it was just painful to watch him trying to entertain everyone.

Saw the new Muse video for's dull. It's basically them performing on a cargo ship on a helicopter pad, with a few night scenes with them setting off flares and fireworks going off. I was suprised, since the video was directed by David Slade who did New Born, Bliss, Feeling Good, Hyper Music; so I thought he'd come up with some weird and wonderful idea but nah, it's just plain and simple. Still, in terms of fangirl hotness scale Dom is off the charts in this vid =o. It might grow on me the more I watch it...maybe >_>

I also saw the new Evanescence video, again another video director that I had high expectations from, Marc Webb (he did all 3 of My Chemical Romance videos, Helena being one of my favourite videos evar) but yet it was just dull. The only decent bit is with the dancers, and the fact that the guy playing the "wolf" is sex on legs.

Well it's month 2 of my summer holidays and I haven't got much planned anytime soon. I get my AS results (first year of college basically) on the 17th, which i'm looking forward to. I love getting exam results, if I get good or bad grades I don't care I just wanna know how well i've done throughout the year. I'm more curious to see which subject I did better in English or Photography. I'm definitely taking Film and Media, no matter what grade I get in it. I revised so hard for Film, could've done more for Media but it went pretty well. English i'm slightly worried about, since my entire grade for the year is down on the 3 exams I did and I know on the last writing exam I pretty much gave up. After writing 16 pages for 8 hours, you tend to lose the will to live. Photography, meh I love it as a hobby but the actual art based side of it (having to present stuff in a sketch book, linking your work with other artists) is just shite. Combined with the fact that the teacher and I just clash drastically (we hate each other) just convinced me not to take it next could be the fact that I couldn't be arsed to do that "summer homework YAY!" either >_>.

What else to rant about...ah yes i'm seeing MUSEEE for the 3rd time in 21 days at Leeds festival. Can't wait, it's going to be amazing. It will complete my Muse watching experience, since I have seen them in a huge arena, a tiny venue and soon to be a huge open air festival.

I've been feeling down while i've been ill, mainly because I thought that I was being rejected by a few friends and wondering if anyone actually gives a crap about hanging out with me or talking to me, since no one has been in contact but I was enlightened last night when listening to Brian Eno's "An Ending (Ascent)" that I shouldn't be so paranoid about the small trivial things in life and get on with it. Never depend on people too much because it'll only bring you down, just enjoy whatever relationship you have with people while it lasts and just have fun with it. It was like the meaning of life suddenly hit me while I was listening to that song, how strange I mused.

Anything else? Oooh yeah i've been playing piano constantly due to having a lot of spare time on my hands and i'm loving it. Things I thought I couldn't play are just coming to me, and i'll probably be on a hunt for sheet music to broaden my playing abilities. All I need to do now is arrange for a piano tuner to come and tune the piano, since it's horribly out of tune. Other than that, it's all gooood.

I watched Trainspotting for the first time last night, I loved it I thought it was amazing. If you haven't watched it WATCH IT, because apparently it's one of the films you should see before you DIE it's that GOOD. I also watched the ending of The Village, what a load of toss that is! Good thing I watched it with my brother, we just made it entertaining and randomly started making Roadrunner noises and my dog just completely spazzed out and started attacking us. I don't think i've laughed that hard in a loooong time.

I love laughing.

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Jul 31, 2006 - 05:15 PM
I feel like i've swallowed a balloon
My stomach is huge, I look like a pregnant hippo. My illness has died down a lot, the fever side of it has gone and I feel more awake and alert and less delusional - but I am left with stomach cramps and random explosions of diarrhea. Nice huh? So I could be feeling fine and dandy at one point then BANG i'm in agony. And what's weird is that at the same time I feel like i'm constipated, bloated even, and it sure as hell looks it on the outside what with my new wobbly asset. I thought i'd LOSE weight with not eating for 4 days. Le sigh

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Jul 30, 2006 - 10:49 AM
I've got either the flu or food poisoning
Which one...I do not know. So basically on Thursday night I found it difficult to breathe properly, I felt like I had to take deep breaths since my chest was tightening up. Plus I had the most annoying part of being sick - when you're either really cold or really hot. It's like make your friggin mind up already, do you wanna burn or freeze. Plus I was going slightly hysterical throughout the night since I couldn't sleep so I hardly got any shut eye.

So all day Friday I stayed in my mum and dad's huge king sized bed since my bed is so small and really uncomfortable. I pretty much slept the whole day and when I did get up to move around I just had to drop to the floor because I was getting seriously dizzy.

Friday night was ok, I thought I was getting better but I got up really early because I couldn't sleep since i'd slept throughout the day. Then later on I felt a new symptom hit me, stomach cramps combined with diarrhea - it's not good. I thought i'd seen the last of the feverish hot/cold...thing but sure enough it hit me again last night. I had two layers on pajama pants on, and two long sleeved t-shirts on and I was still cold.

Plus I thought I was going insane, I have some really stupid and annoying dreams and when I was awake I would still be hearing all the voices from whoever was in the dream. Like last night it was like I was pregnant (and it sure feels that way with the pain and the bloated feeling hah) and all these people were trying to take care of me whilst I was this famous person doing interviews. So when I woke up all I could hear was all these people going on and on about how I should be sitting and do I need food and water. It's like sorry dream people but FUCK OFF I WANNA SLEEP. In the end I completely freaked out and had to sleep downstairs since it was a change in environment and I tend to be more alert when I sleep in odd places.

So I pretty much back to square one, right now the fever thing has calmed down but i'm still left with the stomach problems. I'm hot right now, but who knows I could turn cold anyyyy minute.

This sucks ;_;

Currently Playing: Evanescence - Call me when you're sober

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Jul 17, 2006 - 01:16 PM
Electric shocks, car accidents and my first evar job =D
Well I got together with the gals and had a bit of a JAM, we got a song done which shall be recorded next week hopefully. I was holding my guitar and I was talking to Katie about the bass and I put my hand on the bass and SIZZLE, I got an electric shock. It felt like someone had just attacked me out of nowhere, it was so weird. My arms were a bit achey after that but other than that I was fine.

THEN I started my job this morning and on the way to work I was in a car accident. Basically this guy pulled out into us we got knocked around into the other lane and a car hit my side. I came out with a cut on my face, a stiff neck and just more pain to add to my already crooked spine =D.

Since I didn't have the right clothes to wear for work I had to go in my huge ass biker books, my combat black pants and a white shirt that had splashes of blood on it. What an entrance eh? So they put me in the stock room to do some pricing for the sale. I got my hours cut since they gave too many hours out than what they needed, so they couldn't afford to pay me really. So I got off work at 2 which was dandy since I didn't sleep amazingly well due to my 2am sleeping routine.

Then when I was cooking tea before I spilt boiling water on my hand, ahahahaha this is just funny now. The big man upstairs is having fun.

Currently Playing: Evanescence - Lacrymosa preview

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Jul 16, 2006 - 01:47 PM
Everyone should watch this video

Currently Playing: Muse - Knights of Cydonia

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[public entry #20]

Jul 12, 2006 - 01:05 PM

This has gone nicely next to the Earls Court review that also had the 5 out of 5 incredible raiting. Ah Muse, you electrify my life.

Currently Playing: Muse - Starlight

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[public entry #19]

Jul 10, 2006 - 06:22 PM
Me? A JOB? And other random Muse rantings
Yes my fellow earthlings I have a JOB for a short amount of time. I go in for training tomorrow, which will probably include a cheesy 80's video about how not to break my back (already done hrhrhr) and other craptacular events. What's good is that it starts at 2.30, gives me plenty of time for a lie in. The thing is, going to new places and having to make myself known there is a big issue for me; going in and saying i'm there for training will be a big deal for me >_>. WHERE IS THY CONFIDENCE. no where to be seen ;_;.

NOT ONLY have I seen Muse at Earls Court and at an EXCLUSIVE small gig, I am seeing them at Leeds festival ANNNND i'm going to see them again in November! Wahoooo! Fancy that, i'll have seen them 3 times this year when they probably wont be back for 2 years since they'll be touring the globe. Might as well see them as many times as possible eh? And just to show my pure fangirl excitement here are some little animations.

Are you amuuused hahahahahahaha. Yeah i'm done.

Currently Playing: Muse - Muscle Museum

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[public entry #18]

Jul 4, 2006 - 12:55 PM
It's the holidays, which means quiz time for the bored Sian
A is for age: 17

B is for booze of choice: Probably vodka and coke. My hyper juice + alcohol = crazyness

C is for career: Rock star or Film director

D is for your dog's name: Pepsi and Murphy

E is for essential item you use everyday: My mp3 player =p

F is for favorite song at the moment: Soldier's Poem by Muse

G is for favorite game: Final Fantasy VIII baby

H is for hometown: Well I was born somewhere in Wales but I consider Preston my hometown since i've lived here the longest.

I is for instruments you play: Piano and Guitar

J is for jam or jelly you like: Strawberry

K is for kids: EVIL

L is for last kiss? The dawn of time.

M is for favorite M&Ms: Plain old chocolate flavoured.

N is for name of your crush: Matt >_>

O is for overnight hospital stays: 0

P is for phobias: Where to begin, Stairs (don't ask), Spiders, the dark occasionally

Q is for lyrics/quotes you like:
"Lips are turning blue, a kiss that can't renew, I only dream of you, my beautiful"
"Destroy the spineless, show me it's real, wasting our last chance to come away, just break the silence, 'cause i'm drifting away, away from you"
"Don't kid yourself and don't fool yourself, this life could be the last but we're too young to see."
And much much more

R is for biggest regret: I have none

S is for sexual preference: Straight men I should hope

T is for time you wake up: Late morning

U is for underwear: Big ass knickers

V is for vegetable you love: I don't love any

W is for worst habits you have: I guess I fart too much

X is for x-rays you've had: One on my arm when I fractured it

Y is for yummy food you make: Chicken Korma =D

Z is for zodiac sign: Aries.

Go on, you know you want to
A is for age:

B is for booze of choice:

C is for career:

D is for your dog's name:

E is for essential item you use everyday:

F is for favorite song at the moment:

G is for favorite game:

H is for hometown:

I is for instruments you play:

J is for jam or jelly you like:

K is for kids:

L is for last kiss?

M is for favorite M&Ms:

N is for name of your crush:

O is for overnight hospital stays:

P is for phobias:

Q is for lyrics/quotes you like:

R is for biggest regret:

S is for sexual preference:

T is for time you wake up:

U is for underwear:

V is for vegetable you love:

W is for worst habits you have:

X is for x-rays you've had:

Y is for yummy food you make:

Z is for zodiac sign:

I have some form of a...wait for it...JOB! My sister works at Next, this huge ass retail clothes store thingy, and they're having friends and family help out for the sales week so i've been signed up. They're long hours, like 9-6 and there are some ridiculous ones like 5-2AM and 4AM - 1PM. 4 in the fucking morning!

My holidays have begun, I went into college for 3 minutes...what a waste of time that was. They should just let us know how we're doing through the post or something. But I hung out with a friend all day, I made her watch Labyrinth, what a film.

It's been roasting hot here all day so I did a bit of sun bathing even though I hate it, to get rid of this stupid tan line I have at the bottom of my back. I fell asleep at Download on my front and my shorts were too far up and my t-shirt was lifted slightly so there's just this patch on my back that's brown.

Still it's been a nice chillout day, been listening to music all day just relaxing.

54 days til I see Muse...AGAIN bahahahaha

Currently Playing: Muse - Endlessly

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[public entry #17]

Jun 29, 2006 - 05:06 PM
Muse Concert Report =D (Best day EVAR)
As most of you are probably aware, I won tickets to see Muse live at an exclusive gig in London. Obviously since Muse are the greatest band in the entire universe in Sian world this was a dream come true as the venue I would be seeing them in is tiny (Muse usually play the huge arenas in England and unless I went to America or Canada I wouldn’t have the chance to see them in a venue like this evar). So on the Tuesday before the gig Mother and I set off to merry ol’ Landon in the good old car. It took 4 hours to get there after a little detour since the instructions we got to get there were poo so I used my incredible map reading navigational skills to put us in the right direction. Seriously. On the way there we were listening to and sang rather loudly to all the 4 Muse albums and got started on listening to all the Nightwish albums too =D.

We arrive in London and at Jim’s guest house in Shepherds Bush where we would be staying the night. So we dumped our stuff out and went to look for the venue…it was literally around the corner. So then we walked around for what seemed forever since my Mum is an explorer and likes to know where everything is. Eventually there was nothing to do, so we went to go see Mission Impossible 3 for the hell of it. The good thing about seeing that film was the actual cinema…Jebus it was huge the seating was elevated so you could see everything and the seats were like arm chairs. It sorta made the film better…maybe.

We ate at a nice little Italian restaurant complete with movie star photographs covering the walls which I appreciated and then off to bed we went for the big day. Wednesday arrived, the day I’d been waiting for…for 4 days =p. We’ll just say FOREVER to make it more dramatic. We had to wake up at 7 fucking o’clock to have breakfast and then we got ready to go and collect the wristbands. I was having a hyper spazz out moment in the morning which my mum found amusing. At 9.15 we headed off to the venue since they were giving out wristbands at 10am. When we got our wristbands (by this incredibly hot guy) we headed off to Camdon Town or whatever it’s called to do a bit of shopping. I was really edgy and nervous during it all since I was worrying about the queue and not being able to get to the front with every minute that passed, but I really liked the place. It had a really laid back foreign arty vibe to it all. There were some really nice shops and some gorgeous markets (next to a canal in a stone courtyard with lots of awesome stone buildings). I got the Supermassive Black Hole DVD single and some funky arm bands. Then we headed off back to the venue at around 3 and there were already about 50 people queuing up.

The wait outside wasn’t all that bad, I got talking to these 2 girls in front of me who were really nice, they bought me a bag of crisps =). When they opened the doors I said farewell to mum since I was going to dive my way to the front, and she bought me a tour t-shirt <3. Then I had to wait another hour and half for Muse to actually come on and when they did…well words just can’t describe ;_;. SO PICTURES WILL DO =D.

Take A Bow
Map Of The Problematic
Butterflies & Hurricanes
Plug In Baby
Citizen Erased
Soldier's Poem
Feeling Good
Stockholm Syndrome
Supermassive Black Hole
New Born
Time Is Running Out
Knights Of Cydonia

Hands down, the best gig I’ve ever been to. Infuckingcredible. The whole thing was just mind blowing. I’ve never jumped around so much in my life, I can’t speak anymore after screaming, shouting and singing of course. The new songs sound absolutely stunning, Take A Bow was being received like an old anthem with people just screaming the lyrics, definitely an amazing choice to open the gig with. The drum solo’s in Map Of The Problematic just made the audience crazy. Butterflies and Hurricanes, always incredible to hear. Starlight sounded so…thick. It was being played on guitar which was a great plus and the bass was just so intense. Feeling Good, gotta love the megaphone. Invincible was a thousand times better live, it just felt so uplifting. Knights of Cydonia…I don’t know where to begin. I loved how they put the “No one’s going to take me alive” lyrics on the screens. Incredible end to a pretty much overwhelming night. I still can’t believe I was actually there, ammmmaaazzzinnngggggg.


Uber fangirl moments that some may find disgusting
omgomgomgomg I was that close to Muuuuuusseeee! I was right in front of matt bellamy ahhhhhhhhh. I couldn’t believe it when they walked out I was like IT’S YOU! Since I was right at the front in front of Matt for the entire thing there was some serious eye contact going on. In Hysteria he shouted COME ON before rocking out and looked straight at me when he said it, I thought I would die from sheer happiness. And in Stockholm Syndrome he pointed his finger at me as he sung “this is the last time I’ll abandon you” I can die a fucking happy fangirl. He so had an orgasm face when he was playing the riff to Assassin, that was hot >_>. What was with Chris’s freddy mercury tash o_O I’m still in shock from the whole thing…eeeeee end of rant.

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Jun 26, 2006 - 10:11 AM
Off to London to see Muse =D
Well i'll be away for 2 days since i'll be travelling to London tomorrow afternoon and i'll be back late Wednesday night. Expect lots of photos here on Thursday from what shall be the most incredible concert ever.


Currently Playing: Muse - Knights of Cydonia

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Jun 25, 2006 - 05:37 AM
mmm venueee

I'll be here in two days ;_;. Hopefully right at the barrier, I AM PREPARED TO WAIT ALL DAY.

I'm gonna see museeee =o

Currently Playing: Muse - Citizen Erased

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Jun 23, 2006 - 11:40 AM


Currently Playing: Muse - Supermassive Black Hole

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Jun 19, 2006 - 12:17 PM
Right Click - Save as - Tell me what it is ;_;

EDIT: I am aware that it's taken from a Nightwish Live recording and it's not Nightwish it was taken from a soundtrack.

EDIT EDIT: MYSTARY SOLVED. It's Specters In The Fog - Hans Zimmer - The Last Samarai Soundtrack <3

Currently Playing: Guess

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Jun 14, 2006 - 09:01 AM
TIMMEEEHHH (Download Festival Report)
Ok so I got back from Download Festival. On Thursday I had a Media exam which went pretty well but it could've been better. Still, I only have myself to blame since I didn't revise as much as I did for previous exams. I had to watch the Dark Water trailer about 6 times, man that film even looks crap in a trailer. So anyway, I gathered my shit together and headed off to Download.

The first thing I thought when I got there is "this is fucking huge". I never even realised the scale of it all, the site is so big and I realised it in extremely hot weather. I had to carry a tent, my hiking bag full of my stuff in the blistering heat for nearly an hour as I trundled around trying to find a spot in the vast fields that had loads of happy campers in. We eventually found a spot, before another field opened that we could've gone in that would've saved us at least half an hour. I had too many bags, which were mainly just water and other things, so the plan was to go back to where my Mum was waiting with them since she couldn't go into the camping and make 2 trips to get them to where we were. So I pitched up the tent and about an hour later Caz (my friend who I went with) comes along with all the bags looking knackered and said that Mum had to go and it'd take too long to wait for me to make a trip. By this point I was exhausted, burning and I felt incredibly guilty that I didn't get to say bye to my Mum who had done so much to make sure I got everything I needed. She even drove me there and back, but anyway I rang her the next morning to say sorry but she wasn't in.

Friday was a nightmare of a day, all 4 days were absolutely boiling. It felt like I was abroad, apparently it was 28 degree’s in the shade. Being a britlander, I ain't used to that sorta heat so it made the experience less enjoyable but the bands made up for that. So anyway, the whole site was a giant park like race course. Park = lots of grass = lots of pollen = hell for my hayfever. It was so bad on the Friday that I went temporarily blind for most of the day, my eyes were just stinging like a bitch and they were watering like no other so I couldn't see anything and it made me disorientated when you're trying to walk through a crowd of thousands. So I went to the first aid tent and they used some stuff to empty my eyes out in case it was the dust, it worked for about 5 minutes. I went out of the tent and it just kicked in again. Damn. Plus, Caz sat on my sunglasses and snapped them so I had to buy a new pair but by that point I was too effected for them to make a difference.

So I had to spend the rest of the day in the tent with an already moody friend due to her hormones at the time of the month, who was making me feel bad because we had missed a band. The next day, I took all the precautions and took tablets that I had bought on site and wore my hat and sunglasses and I was fine. It was just the heat that was a bitch. All our food and drink just went warm in the day, when you go to a stall to buy "ice cold drinks" it's fucking warm because it's been in the fridge for like 5 seconds. I've never been so appreciative of my home, just shelter itself and a FRIDGE.

Another thing, toilet facilities. Now I walked past the camping toilets and sweet child of mine it smelt like something had died and people were just shitting over it to add to the already bad smell. However, my body seems to shut down in strange places, I don't seem to need the toilet that much and I visited the "nicer" portaloos only 3 times during the 4 days I was there. Not bad huh?

I got sunburnt even though I applied sun cream every 10 minutes i'd say. As soon as I felt my skin burning, I sprayed some more on. Still, my skin hates the sun. Don't get me wrong, I love warm weather but when you have no where to go for shade (seriously, there was no where), no cold drinks to keep you cool and loads of people there it's quite an experience.

Camping wasn't too bad, the tent was like a sauna in the day time which meant all our food and drink supplies just boiled up. Since the sun rises in the early hours, the tent would heat up at 7 in the morning, meaning I would wake up and be drenched in my own sweat so I had to clamber out and gasp for air. Thank God there were cold breezes or I think people would've just become a giant blister and explode. Oh yeah, it doesn't help when you're camping out right next to an airport. I thought we were being bombed one morning, I think a jet was taking off or something because it shook the whole fucking ground. I remember thinking “shit, are we being bombed?”, yeah I just woke up at that point =p.

The food itself from the vans, well put it this way I felt sick walking past them and smelling them. I did not touch it once and i'm glad, i'll stick to my snacky food thanks. So I didn't have a properly cooked meal for 4 days, which meant I wasn't really getting any energy and add that to the heat I wasn't all energetic throughout it all. So it meant I couldn't really be arsed getting drunk, I had my drunken moments but it made me more tired than anything.

Camping with a friend as well can either go really well or really bad. It was a bit of both. She obviously had her monthly to deal with, and she stated that she doesn't get mood swings but ooooh boy she does. She's a bit of an air head really, she doesn't have a sense of direction so it was up to me to plan everything out and explain things all the time. She's intelligent in some areas, but she lacks common knowledge big time. I took responsibility of everything, and for 99% of it I did it pretty damn well if I can say so myself. I get that off my Mumsie, and it's not so much like I needed her there but I never been away anywhere on my own where I haven't had someone to make sure I was ok and got everything sorted and organised. I did get a little home sick I guess, since it was my first time away without parentals there.

When you're with someone for 4 days for every second you start to need your own space. She's not the type of person who has independence. I would've been happy to go somewhere by myself, but in her case she needs someone there. I'm the type of person who loves to be around people, I get a high when i'm with people but after spending time with them I feel mentally exhausted from being around them and need time alone – not because I don’t like them or anything though it’s just who I am. So being with someone all day, every minute for 4 days just made me pick out all the bad parts and I hate feeling like i’m the boring one who had to be in charge of everything. And since I was doing everything I felt just drained so I got the impression that I was being boring at night by just going to sleep after a long day because I didn’t want to run around like a loon. If you wanted to be entertained then entertain yourself don’t look to me to do it for you.

Here I am ranting on and on about the bad parts, well what saved the weekend from what could’ve been a disaster were obviously the bands.

Throwdown: The only band I was able to see this day, they weren’t my kind of band but they were entertaining and got the crowd going. Since I had my severe case of hayfever I missed the rest of the bands that day and to be honest there weren’t many that I was too thrilled to see in the first place so I’m glad that I missed the Friday and not the better days of the weekend.

Down: Lets just say that the front man was under the influence of drugs and alcohol which made it a pretty hilarious experience. His in between song banter was just classic.

Arch Enemy: All I can say is holy fuck that girl can scream. Couldn’t help but rock out to “We Will Rise”.

Stone Sour: Like him or not Corey Taylor has an incredible stage presence. He really got the crowd going and was nice enough to share the football score with us between songs. I already had seen the one and only goal but still, it was thoughtful.

Trivium: This performance was a little tainted for me for reasons I will mention in a minute, and it was like I was just seeing the same thing again. Technically I was, it was the third time I’d seen them but it was pretty boring and samey.

Within Temptation: Due to the half an hour delay from the main stage and the fact that my friend didn’t want to be left alone or miss her band I had to stay through Trivium and it resulted in me missing one of the three bands I’d gone to festival to see. I saw the end of “Mother Earth” and “Ice Queen”. From those 2 songs, and the cheers from the crowd at the end, I could tell they were incredible. Still, I was pissed off to the max because I missed them.

KoRn: Since Johnathan Davies was seriously ill, the band had to play the set without him with a selection of other singers from bands. It was funny, all these girls were flashing their tits on the big screens and the rest of the band were just stood there like “hello? Um, we’re here” but everyone was ignoring them because of the slutiness going on. Anyway, it was a pretty entertaining show, Corey Taylor absolutely nailed “freak on a leash”, including the beat box type part =p. Awesome stuff.

Metallica: Incredible, they put on an amazing show. I couldn’t see one piece of the ground I think everyone there was watching them. They played a new song called…the new song, then as a tribute to the 20th anniversary of Master of Puppets, they played the whole album. It was hilarious when the crowd was imitating James Hetfield after he did the whole echo “waaaaaooooo” thing. Hearing thousands of people saying “I’m telling mom” taking the piss out of him was just the funniest thing ever. Oh and the fireworks were snazzy too.

Fightstar: I was half asleep for bands like God Forbid, Zebrahead, Dragonforce etc so I consider this to be the first band I saw. Quick background for those who are unaware, this band has a member from a former pop rock band, Busted who were hailed as the worst band ever in Kerrang magazine a few years running. So, when the Charlie Simpson decided to leave Busted to continue with the more heavier, serious band Fightstar he pretty much got slated wherever they performed. So this wasn’t any different, the first half was like a storm of bottles flying at the band. When someone threw an egg and it hit Charlie he made a speech saying that he was there to play for the fans and he didn’t give a shit what they throw at them because those people are just cunts. It earned a respected applause and after that things calmed down and the performance was excellent.

Lacuna Coil: It was strange having them perform right in front of my face to a huge stage. They were amazing, Cristina looking as good as ever of course.

Cradle of Filth/Bullet For My Valentine: I was falling asleep again for these due to the heat and being generally tired from lack of sleep for 3 nights so I only heard them briefly. Cradle were really shite, they just didn’t know how to get the crowd going at all and were greeted throughout by bottles of piss. Bullet were good, got a few giant circle pits going.

The Prodigy: The review from Kerrang explains it all really:
Nobody was ever going to compete with The Prodigy today. The crowd is so dense that no-one inside can move, people spilling out for miles around the tent. Those desperate for a view climb the pillars inside until even those are three deep. It’s no wonder people are clamouring for a view because this is simply explosive. Where once The Prodigy were a rigid unit, their music limited by the samples on Liam Howlett’s computer, now they’ve learned to improvise, both reacting to and leading the crowd in equal measure. All the while they fire out pure noise aggression, beats falling like bombs, lyrics spat like war-cries and the crowd ebbs and swells with their energy. Those who can’t get in have stopped trying and are simply holding their own party outside in the sunshine. A band and performance to treasure.

Seriously, it was fucking incredible. I was lucky enough to be right smack bang in the middle of the tent with all the hardcore dancers =p. People were drunk, on drugs and were basically dancing like they’ll die the minute the band walk offstage. One of the best gigs I’ve been to without a doubt.

I was right near that pillar! That was the first nutcase to climb the thing.

“Guns N’ Roses”: Absolute bollocks.

Then I came home after a long weekend, luckily enough I wasn’t caught in any of the riots. People were setting things on fire, the police had to infiltrate the crowds and everything. But I got home safe and sound =D.

Random things that happened that you can imagine through a series of pictures:

TIMMMEEEHHH chants went on all through the night. One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.

Other peoples pictures taken from the festival:

Sunsets were <3 every night

Currently Playing: Muse - Knights of Cydonia

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Jun 7, 2006 - 07:14 AM
Bye Bye
Well i'm off to Download Festival tomorrow, so I wont be around until Monday. Wish me luck with all the drunkeness and camping shizzle.

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May 16, 2006 - 02:47 PM
Life so far
Or what's gone on in the last couple of months.

So after my best friend died life was pretty dull, I found myself just emotionally and physically drained and not being bothered about anything really. If that wasn't a bite in the arse enough my Nana died a few weeks ago. It was less of a shock since I knew she was suffering cancer, but still it doesn't really help.

Like I mentioned before, i'm just so lazy (even more so than before =p). I've skipped loads of lessons at college, which may not seem like a big deal but when my exams are next week it's not a good thing (plus they can kick me out if I keep it up). Around some people I just lose energy to talk to them and I feel like i'm being a bitch to them. The close circle of friends I had at high school, that included my friend who passed away, i'm always fine with. I think i'm ok with them because they sorta know what i'm going through too so we're all helping each other out. But I noticed that to my good friends outside the group i'm being a little distant with them.

It's never intentionally, it just seems to happen. I may just have to tell them what's going on and hopefully they'll understand.

I also went to Give at Name when it was on. It was shit, my Nana was in hospital at the time and I was pretty much being ignored by the people I went with that pissed me off. The bands were shit, which I expected since at the time I booked the tickets I was all eeeeee about My Chemical Romance but that seemed to fade away. The bands worth mentioning were Paramore, Panic! At the Disco, Atreyu and My Chemical Romance. That was like 4 bands out of 15 that were actually decent. That was one long ass day.

Next concert, well festival, is Download. I'm going with my best friend, who completely agrees with me that it's gonna be more of a chill out and watch the bands instead of going crazy for all of them. We're just gonna go nuts for the bands that are worth it =p.

After that i'm seeing Muse at Leeds. New Muse songs = <3. Yeah yeah I don't give a shit about what you fuckers think I love them. It amuses me that random people come to me with their opinions of Muse, I don't give a crap what you think =D.

I have a English exam on Thursday, then a General Studies exam on Monday, Film and English (again) on Tuesday, then 2 weeks later a Media exam on the Thursday (the day I head off to Download). Whoop de fucking doo.

No one's going to take me alive

Currently Playing: Muse - Knights of Cydonia

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Apr 27, 2006 - 02:22 PM
Beginning of the end
Well to cut a long story short my nana has cancer, it has now spread to her brain so she'll never be "normal" again. She's acting like a lost child, playing out parts of her memories and mumbling about things that don't make sense. She's going to hopefully moved to a hospice, which is pretty much a nicer place to die. I'll probably see her for the last time tomorrow, the thought of it makes me choke up so I have no idea how i'll react tomorrow. Oh how life is shit sometimes, my best friend and now my Nana in the space of 2 months.

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Apr 22, 2006 - 06:01 AM
A Strange Silent Hill Dream
Ok so I had a weird dream last night but keep in mind I haven't even played the games or seen the film yet (i'm seeing it in an hour or so). I have however looked into all the storylines of the games because i'm such a wimp I can never play them so I thought i'd just read the plot instead >_>. ANYWHO.

I'm not sure how the dream started but I ended up on a King Kong type island. I had to get to the top of this hill, enter a temple and use this yellow explosive stuff to blast open this tomb where there was a baby alien we were supposed to be looking after. So i'm the one who has to do this thing since the other guy got killed, so I walk in and do my Tomb Raider thing, but I kept on spilling this yellow shit and little bits of rock kept exploding.

Then it seems like the whole world just went silent, I couldn't hear anything but this weird mmmmwooommmmm sound. So I think "Hey that sounds familiar, sounds like something from Silent Hill when Pry..." and I turned around and sure enough there's 2 Pyramid Heads behind me trying to get in.

So obviously I lock the doors (yes these tombs have lockable doors now) but of course that's never enough for these people. So eventually this alien baby pops out of this thing and is all MUMMY but i'm like "FUCK that, all for one my friend". So I end up escaping through the back and my parents are there and they go inside and get the baby and are giving me a lecture like "You should never abandon the subject you could've ruined the whole mission!". Then these Pyramid Heads are in the tomb and trying to get us through the back way, so I hop onto this motorbike and I hear "Don't you dare go through the cafe" (the tomb had turned into a cafe now) so I crash through all the windows "So she goes through the cafe!" and ride down the hill in cool action style.

When I get to the bottom of the hill with a nice sandy beach and a nice pathway to safety, my bike explodes and sure enough there's Mr.Pyramid Head slowly walking towards me with his huge knife thing. At this point I think "I'm sick of this dream now, I want to wake up I don't want to lose this chase" but then I couldn't! I was trying so hard to open my eyes but it just wasn't happening.

So last resort, I try and run away. He ends up being in front of me so then I kind of stop and say "Ok do your thang". So he drops his sword thing and offers me his hand. Then the dramatic violins start as I take his hand and we skip in a field full of flowers. Yes people, I was skipping in a field of flowers with Pyramid Head.

So then we end up sitting on a bench just chatting and I ask how heavy the helmet is and he says "This thing is a nightmare, it hurts my head like no other." "What's with the outfit, can't you afford new clothes" "Nah, they always get blood splattered all over them. I do try and take what I have to the dry cleaners but they just can never get the dirt to go." "Have you tried Vanish?" "Hmm, I shall look into that."

Then all these people started to arrive like it was a tourist resort and my sister wanted a picture with these two kids but they just weren't impressed. Then I heard a bell ring and I ran up the hill and into this school that had appeared. So then I was in college or school, it was like a mixture of both. I was wandering around thinking what the hell do I have now? I find one of my friends and she said I had Maths and I got really confused because I didn't take Maths at college. Then I saw my Film and Media teacher Mark with this fancy new hair cut and he was running around with this photographer trying to get images of the school. I ran away from all that and think "Shit, I don't even have my bag".

Then I go to what I think was the lost property section but it also was like some shop where they sell all the stuff that hasn't been collected. My bag wasn't there, so I wandered up some stairs and I end up near a staff room and one of the teachers said "Aw dear are you lost?" "No I just can't find my bag and I don't know what lesson i'm in" "Let me check". Turns out I have a free so I go and try and search for my bag.

Then as i'm gonna look in the art department I hear some guy trying to sing like Michael Jackson, so when I turn around and the dude is trying to dance like him too. Then when I saw him it was an old high school friend, called Michael hrhr, so I said "haha what ARE you doing?" "Pop Idol auditions, i'm gonna try out" "Well good luck with that."

So then I start walking through the art department and my friend Caz was there and I was saying "It's always been a bit of a shit tip, look they always leave all the taps running" Then we end up outside but my bag isn't there so I go back in to try and peek in on the Pop Idol auditions and then I see that one of my best friends Sean is in there! Then I see that he got through to the next round so he runs out all happy and runs straight up to me and I give him a huge hug while I was saying "I didn't even know you were trying out for it!" Then as we were walking outside again we ended up in this huge building.

Inside I was in this tv studio on these couches with all these other girls, and I apparently was one of the final ones in Pop Idol. Funny, I didn't even audition ;_;. So Sharron Osbourne and Simon Cowell are there (Yeah I know they're the X-Factor Judges but it's a dream) and they were saying I was the hottest female in the competition. I was all blushed and like "Is this allowed on live television?" Then I woke up.

Weird =o.

Currently Playing: Puscifier - Undertaker

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Apr 20, 2006 - 11:34 AM
H.I.M Concert
I wasn't too arsed about this concert since i'm not a huge fan of H.I.M but it turned out to be pretty good. The support act were completely shit, their songs went on for way too long and they didn't even say who they were and didn't have a banner up or anything. Way to promote your band guys. There was one song that was alright, this blonde girl came out and sung with them and she had a nice voice.

When H.I.M finally came on they made an awesome entrance. They had all these chandeliers with all these candle like lights all over them, and they slowly raised up and the banner came up with the trademark heartagram with all this cool gothic art around it. They opened with "Buried Alive By Love", it got the audience going.

The crowd were amazing, they sung along to everything and just had loads of energy. The only problem was the screaming girlies =p. However Ville actually is pretty hot, he had the coolest outfit on. It was like a complete black suit jobby, but he ended up with just his shirt with the sleeves rolled up and most of the buttons undone, whenever he stripped I think about 20 girls fainted.

The lights (i'm a light whore) were the best i've seen in along time. They don't quite beat Muse's lights but they were pretty awesome. It made some of the songs a whole lot more atmospheric. They played all my favourites like Buried Alive By Love, Rip Out The Wings of a Butterfly, Wicked Game, Join me in Death, Soul on Fire, Vampire Heart, Killing Loneliness, Play Dead, The Sacrament etc. Inbetween songs Ville Valo attempted to talk but he mumbles so fucking much all I caught was Mariah Carey, Dedicated to all the grizzly bears in the world, I need a leak and something about Satan. Crazy.

So what I thought was gonna be a crap show turned out to be pretty good, and Jesus that guy can smoke o_O.

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Apr 13, 2006 - 03:02 PM
zomg best birthday evar
I'm seeing Muse in August ;_;.

Currently Playing: Guess.

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Apr 2, 2006 - 09:26 AM
Wanna hear a guy scream like a turkey?
Then click here my friends

What the hell, while i'm at it might as well throw in another "ghost sighting"

I actually think this is authentic.

Currently Playing: Lacuna Coil - What I See

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Mar 18, 2006 - 11:37 AM
Life is Short
Well the one feature that kept me coming back to GFF is finally back, coolness. Now I have something to help kill some time with, how sad =p. Well I guess the one thing I want to mention here is how on March 6th one of my best friends died. She was 16 years old, I had known her for nearly 10 years and we had always been best friends in that time. Losing her was one of the hardest things i've ever experienced, seeing a hearse drive around the corner carrying a coffin with my best friend in was probably the most heartbreaking thing i've ever seen and something i'll unfortunately never forget. However when I think of her I always remember the good times and not the events leading to her death.

Towards the end of her life she was becoming weak, vomiting a lot and losing her usual energy. I had noticed the dramatic change in her personality for some time, but didn't even consider how serious it was. She had been to the Doctors and had a number of blood tests, but no one could think of the reason why she was losing so much weight and not being able to keep her food down. I guess they judged her on her strict eating lifestyle and thought it was just an eating disorder she was hiding from everyone.

Whenever she ate, she would just puke it all up again. She was one of the best cyclists in the country, and she's always watched her weight but I knew that she didn't have an eating disorder like the people who didn't know her were suggesting. She would never resort to anorexia or bulimia to control her weight, I knew she wasn't that sort of person. She was always small and thin, that's why we called her "Lil Caz" since there were two Caroline's in my close group of friends, but really she was an amazing athlete and such an intelligent person. She got the highest marks in her GCSE exam results, and was awarded a prize for her achievement in Science.

The cause of her death we now know was because of the failure of her adrenal glands, it was interferring with the digestion of her food which explains why she was losing weight and vomiting a lot. The bitch of the story is that it can be treated.

Since i've heard the news life seems to have changed for me slightly. The first few days were the hardest, I was crying constantly and had no energy in me to do anything. I missed a week off college; I tried to go back on the Wednesday but I couldn't concentrate and ended up breaking down in front of people who kept asking me what was wrong. Missing a week of college and a few days this week has resulted in me being behind on work, which right now I can't afford to be losing since my exams start in May. Even so, I knew I couldn't work properly in the first week but I did miss yesterday for no reason which was wrong of me.

I've learnt to appreciate the friendships I have with my close friends, I love my friends more than ever and i've also learnt to appreciate life a little bit more. It's sad that I only realised this after one of my friends has passed away, but still I want to make the most of whatever time I have left since now I really know that life really can be short.

I've got an Imogen Heap concert next Sunday, I can't wait for that it's gonna be cool. I guess that's all i've got to talk about for now, i'm off to nosey in other peoples journals.

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