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		Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis
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Such a Lust for Revenge!'s

Bottlenoses... ASSEMBLE!

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Dec 20, 2006 - 02:48 PM

Goodbye me chums.

Going to Xela (pronounced Shella) in a little bit; soon as my buddy gets the fuck ready. His brother has some sort of nice place up there in the middle of the woods, which had me thinking about going until I heard there were American and European girls there along with alcohol, which pretty much sealed the deal.

Pretty sure I'm not gonna have the internet at hand so I'll see you guys either Saturday or Sunday.

(5 charlies)

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[public entry #32]

Dec 18, 2006 - 11:26 PM

Spiderman teaches us moves for CLUBBIN

=OOO

This is fucking great. You guys see this?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HbtD_y_X3SU

(4 charlies)

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[public entry #31]

Dec 16, 2006 - 09:32 PM

My respects to the chihuahua.

So my landlords have a chihuahua and two French Poodles. Obviously, the chihuahua is much smaller than the two of them. Anyhow, my buddy Eduardo has certain words that gets them all riled up and if he says them enough they start fighting. Unfortunately for the chihuahua, that means the French Poodles (mother and daughter) tend to gang up on the chihuahua. So the other day when Ed starts yelling the key words at them this poor chihuahua is trying to hide at first, untiil one of the fucking poodles bites its ear or something and the chihuahua just snaps. Snarling, teeth snapping, just straight FIGHTING the evil poodles. After about 20 seconds of this brutal fight at our feet, Ed decides to end it but he can't. The chihuahua in particular had gone berzerker and the dogs had to eventually be put in separate rooms.

I'm not much of a dog person, especially with these types of dogs, but I feel an all new respect for that chihuahua. Each of those poodles is at least four times bigger than her and she refused to back down. Now when she pleads for some food as I eat breakfast or whatever I give her some.

I don't care if you're big or small, whether it's a physical or verbal fight. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF LIKE A VICIOUS CHIHUAHIA. Never back down.

(8 charlies)

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[public entry #30]

Dec 10, 2006 - 10:47 PM

Advent Children and more Star Wars geekery.

Finally saw Advent Children today. That pretty much covers the two things that drove me insane in prison because of an inability to watch, the other being Revenge of the Sith. There is far too much I can sit here and say about this movie (saw it subbed), and I'm sure you guys have heard it all by now. I'm so behind. I absolutely loved it and my only complaint is that it should have been 300 times longer. I need an AC Cloud Team Fedora avatar. One day.

Saw the last bit of Return of the Jedi just now, just as Luke is dragging Vader and he unmasks him. So Anakin was 22 when he turned to the dark side and got the suit and all. By the time of ROTJ he was 45. Of course when the helmet comes off he looks a ton older. The actor at the time Sebastian Shaw (I'm not sure when ROTJ was filmed exactly) was either 76 or 77. I think I read somewhere the explanation was the Dark Side RAVAGES the users body after so much time using it... Which made the Emperor's appearance make sense until we find out in ROTS how it happened against Mace Windu.

Along those lines, I read a cool Lucas interview where he says if Vader had not sustained those injuries he would have been twice as strong as the Emperor and eventually would have overthrown him. But after basically being put in a life support suit (not because of losing so many bodyparts) he was at 80 percent of the Emperor's power which explains his almost forced servitude to the fuck. Sometimes I wonder if Lucas just randomly pulls things out of his ass in interviews though.

Anyway, back on topic. It was good to see that part of ROTJ again. The full circle redemption and all after the pit ROTS left in my stomach. I need to watch the old films again, its been too long.

(20 charlies)

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[public entry #29]

Dec 7, 2006 - 11:12 PM

Good ol' Star Wars

I saw Revenge of the Sith for the second time just now. The first was about a month ago. This came out while I was in prison, and as pathetic as it might sound I suffered greatly when it came out and I couldn't go to theaters to watch it. I'll eventually go check the archives to see what you guys thought about it a year and a half ago. I'm sure most of it was negative opinions though. There were some key things I wanted to talk about since i was able to pay more attention this time around.

It was sad seeing Anakin execute a textbook self-fulfilled prophecy. He went to the dark side to gain powers that could help him prevent Padme from dying during childbirth, yet this very act is what caused her death. I guess, in the end, this is probably the best way Lucas could've explained Anakin's turn.

Lucas' kid was a little badass for the ten seconds he was in the movie!

Wonder if Luke ever felt bitter? His sister gets to be the daughter of a Senator and a Princess on a beautiful planet while he gets stuck on a desert planet living the life of a moisture farmer? Sure, Owen and Beru come off as a young, loving couple at the end of the film, but we all know what a couple of sourshits they end up being by Episode IV.

Speaking of which, when Luke gets handed to Beru and she takes him to Owen, Owen is standing with his foot up looking at the setting suns. Something about that pose, his silhouette, reminded me a lot of a similar scene with Luke in episode IV. I'm sure that was intentional.

Though Yoda told Anakin earlier in the movie not to mourn death, that it was a necessary part of life and that he should rejoice when people went over (something like that, part of his "get rid of attachment" speech), he couldn't help but feel great grief as shown when he sees Padme die.

I liked a lot of the tie ins to the older movies, especially the inclusion of the Tantive IV towards the end of the movie. Which, of course, happens to be the first thing seen in A New Hope.

And if Yoda needs to teach Obi Wan how to commune with Qui Gon, who taught Yoda in the first place? But we'll just assume Yoda is just a badass and learned it on his own... But who taught Luke when he saw Obi Wan for the first time as spirit in TESB? Or to hear his voice almost immediately after his death? When you hear Qui Gon yelling at Anakin to not kill the sandpeople in The Clone Wars, does Anakin hear that or does only Yoda notice? Bah.

Dooku's cool.

(8 charlies)

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[public entry #28]

Dec 5, 2006 - 06:16 PM

Wacky slang and movie title translations.

I've picked up some pretty cool slang here, not all necessarily of Guatemalan origin. I'll make a new list a good while from now to see how it's expanded. Funny, I've always tried to keep my English clean but could really care less about how I speak in Spanish. For the most part I'll type things out phonetically.

Mara - Can either mean gang in the traditional sense (like the "Mara" in Mara Salvatrucha for MS13) or gang as in the "hey, looks like the whole gang's here!"

Tengo weba - "Weba" is slang for "webon," a lazy person. Having WEBA is like saying "I'm in the state of feeling lazy as fuck" but it sounds cooler.

Weesa - Girl, usually young and cute. Look at that WEESA.

Kasakas - Basically "shit." "It's against the law to park there! Look at that sign!" Response - "Kasakas with that sign." You could also ask someone to hand you a bottle of coke or whatever by saying GIVE ME THAT KASAKA.

Chinche - I've mostly seen it used while people drive. The driver mutters (mostly to himself) at the other wild driver on the road: GET OUT OF MY WAY CHINCHE. Apparently an actual chinche is some sort of wild bug.

Paha(s) - Lie(s) (instead of "mentiras")

SHO - My favorite. Basically SHUT UP. Short and effective. I'm thinking its origination is some sort of Spanglish.

Webudo - A person that acts WEBUDO is acting with nuts. Courage.

Webes - The opposite. A person who WEBES is being a little bitch. "No te webes" = "Don't get scared now!"

Some silly movie titles translated back to English.

Lost in Translation=Lost in Tokyo
The Good Son=The Evil Angel
The Manchurian Candidate=The Ambassador of Fear

[1]

(7 charlies)

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[public entry #27]

Dec 4, 2006 - 08:08 PM

I'm gonna kill that motherfucker Merv Burger.

Finish this shit right at the root.

When this started I was mildly amused. Then I realised it was a theme week item and was a little irritated that something that's basically an in joke is an official theme. I was prepared to hit every Merv fucker with bitter insults in every thread I could. Unprovoked but fuck it.

Then I see all the journal entries, the titles, the fights, etc. I haven't even looked as to what's going on on the actual board concerning this and I don't want to. But seeing all the bickering and HOSTILITY kinda snapped me back into reality and now I'm back to being mildly amused all over again. It's kinda elitist, but then again anyone can join in so fuck it.

You ever get that? You go into a frenzy over something and it's not until you see that look in the eyes of another person that's going nuts over the same thing that you realize the completely unnecessary madness that's going on?

[3]

(7 charlies)

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[public entry #26]

Dec 4, 2006 - 10:39 AM

Earthquake results and wacky bus rides.

Okay, so yesterday's earthquake wasn't so bad. It was a 5.3 and the epicenter was 15 kilometers off the Guatemalan coast in the Pacific; about 141 kilometers away from the capital where I'm at. Read the paper today and not too much damage it seems. Only lasted twenty seconds too... Seemed like more when it happened.

Been taking the bus system here lately to run shit around this horrible city.

Part of the elite force.

That's right. A FUCKING SCHOOL BUS.

Anyway, riding these things is a real experience. Apparently about 200 a day get robbed by the MS13 bastards. So there's a certain risk involved which makes it FUN. A lot are entirely steel on the inside which I can't help but get nervous about considering the last time I was in such a bus in the States. They're about 13 cents a ride, though in this monster maze of a city (layout's a mess) multiple transfers are necessary.

Unlike the states, also, these motherfucking busdrivers will continue to let people onto the bus until THERE IS NOT A FUCKING SCRAP OF SPACE LEFT IN THAT MOTHERFUCKER. It is such a fucking mess in there on the more frequented routes that I don't even know how to begin. but it doesn't end there, this is where the comedy starts... Some people NEED to get a ride, and if there's no space left on the bus, they'll hang FROM THE WINDOWS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING OUTSIDE OF THE BUS. I am not lying, I am not exaggerating. To top it off, the busdriver's helper will go outside and charge these motherfuckers during a red light or whatever.

I've ridden buses in California, mainly the RTD, and in Vegas with the CAT routes. This is something else entirely. I'm not sure whether to be frightened or laugh my ass off.

[1]

(6 charlies)

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[public entry #25]

Dec 3, 2006 - 03:55 PM

EARTHFUCKINGQUAKE

Not 15 seconds ago the entire fucking world it seemed was rocking around on a ship. I've experienced earthquakes before in California, but that motherfucker was a good minute long and crazy. No damage here though.

(11 charlies)

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[public entry #24]

Dec 3, 2006 - 10:13 AM

I sinned yesterday. Massively.

Anyone who's read my ORDER IT RARE, KURADO thread will understand this.

So, the cafe I kinda work at had a pretty good spot yesterday selling food at a stand in some nearby forest to kids on a spiritual retreat. Sounded like a load of shit to me, but whatever as long as I make money.

I was in charge of coffee and the carne asada (grilled flank steak). Fifty steaks in the afternoon, another fifty that night. By my hands I desecrated the meat... I put that beautiful red flesh on the grill and watched it go from a beautiful rare, to medium rare, to medium AND THEN TO WELL DONE. Apparently that's how your average Guatemalan likes it and it was a cruel twist of fate that I'd have to do this to the meat myself.

By the end of my ordeal I was in partial shock. But I had prepared and saved a steak for myself. I cooked that fucker 20 seconds one side, flipped it for another 20, and onto my plate. It was so dark at that point I could barely see what I was doing but then I dragged that fucker to a corner, like when a leopard drags a carcass up a tree so other animals won't take its meal, and ate it like a BEAST. Rawest thing I ever ate, delicious, but because of the food standards in this country I might have to be more careful in the future.

During this frenzy I noticed some of the kids at a nearby table were singing Christian songs and having a good time. It made me feel good knowing not everything at that place was fake.

(3 charlies)

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[public entry #23]

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