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Gamingforce Choco Journal
Such a Lust for Revenge!'s Journal

Bottlenoses... ASSEMBLE!

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Nov 17, 2012 - 12:01 AM
All done
Finally wrapped up my accent (one week)/product (two weeks) training today. Start taking calls this Monday. Feels great to be part of a company that's so not Guatemalan and full of petty, corrupt bullshit. That PS3 is so much closer now!

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Oct 24, 2012 - 10:04 AM
Good to get back to work
Secured a new job at a call center last week. Had to go off the herb for about a week to pass the saliva drug test but all is well now. Depending on my performance I'll be making anywhere between $2.40 and $3 an hour... Which is very good in Guatemala considering minimum wage is roughly $1.10.

Funny, after 10 years I'll be working for UPS again.

Currently Playing: Infected Mushroom - Disco Mushroom

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Oct 17, 2012 - 05:09 PM
Me and the misses
So my girlfriend is a pretty traditional girl. Catholic, wholesome, traditional, conservative, innocent, and on and on. Just about everything I'm not or go against actually hahaha. Been exposing this girl to some shit she'd never be watching or listening to these last five years. Currently the curriculum has her watching Breaking Bad with me, along with a mix of David Lynch movies and even some Neon Genesis Evangelion for the hell of it. I have also successfully weened her off telenovelas, probably my greatest accomplishment with her. This particulary dangerous mission almost backfired on me because, before I could defeat this monster or at least make it dormant, I got trapped and ended up spending a year watching some Colombian novella with her.

Just got done watching the first three episodes of Dexter today. Wonderful show. I knew beforehand that it was about a serial killer no one expects, but the premise is 100x better than I had anticipated. Need to get her watching this shit too.

Anyone know of a good, reliable way to get subtitles on these things (I know, I'm dumb as hell with this stuff) without having to download a video that already includes them? The only thing about exposing her to things that are different is that I have to be Mr. Translator and that shit does end up getting tedious.

Currently Playing: The Doors - Crawling King Snake

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Oct 12, 2012 - 06:31 PM
Me being selfish. So what.
Some background first:

My maternal grandmother had a very good friend from the family of the surname Pacheco. When they both eventually had children their daughters (one obviously being my mom) also became good friends. Then, as I grew up in the states, this continued into a 3rd generation of friendship between myself and their children. When I was 25 and needed to come to Guatemala, the Pacheco family in California recommended me to the Pacheco family here in Guate (the father figures in both families being brothers). I instantly became great friends with the two brothers here, a very strong friendship with Edward Pacheco in particular.

Well, over the last year Edward has gone into the tourist-guide industry, travelling everywhere between mid/south Mexico down to Panama, covering all of Central America. Without drawing this out too much he's basically been banging tourists (primarily from Europe, some from Canada, Australia) at a relentless pace, since he has a group of about 15 people (almost always primarily female) he guides for about three weeks at a time.

He fucked up and knocked up some fucking whore from Switzerland. He came inside her since she had said she was on the pill. Her explanation after the fact was that she had been vomiting around the time of conception and that that probably threw off the pill's effectiveness.

I'm the sort of person that tends to make great friendships with few people and not so much spread it among a lot of people when it comes to IRL. I'm not trying to blame anyone (though I am frustrated so I will curse the name of this bitch) but here's the thing: Edward's talking about moving over there, learning the language, making his life etc. for the sake of the child. He's gonna change his entire life... And here's the crux of this entire entry: this shit is bringing out the jealous, protective little bitch inside me and I hate that too. Edward is not only an awesome friend and an awesome person to me... But A LOT of people here in the neighborhood feel the same way about him. It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach to think that some young cunt from across the world will very possibly take Edward away from all of us just because she didn't get her shit right... Actually, I'm pretty jaded about this topic and after talking it over with him a lot these last few days I'm sure the broad did it on purpose, as so many tend to do. The point is that there are other options god damn it. Why start thinking about starting a family with a girl you just met two weeks ago?

I just can't get over it. All it took for him to nearly be taken away overnight was this fucking girl that got smitten the moment she met him (from what he tells me) getting knocked up. I know I should be taking a lot of this out on him, but he's my friend, and it feels so much better (and easier) hating on her.

The good news is that he told me what I've posted above this Sunday, five days ago... And since then his outlook has grown progressively worse on the entire ordeal and it wouldn't surprise me if he took this thing with this girl in a different direction (he can help fund the child from a distance, or abortion perhaps). I just hate all this and the only bright side I see is that if this child does happen to see the light of day, it'll be in another country and won't have to put up with the raw, shamelessly corrupt brutality of this fucked society I'm in.

This has served to remind me how much I love some of my friends, even if I can never tell them so beyond a drunken bro hug/words. It's also shown me just how low I can go as a human being in order to preserve my little world. Ah, fuck it, I don't care. I just don't want to see my friends go through the same bullshit I did... And, unlike me, he has a lot more to lose.

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Jun 1, 2007 - 05:46 PM
I introduced someone to the INTERNET today.
Haha, I gotta get to fucking work for a sudden night shift but, as I was posting something ten minutes ago the servant girl here (indigenous (sp?) Indian) at the house asked me why the hell I wrote so much when I sat here at the computer. I told her, after making her wait for me to finish my post, that I was simply "talking" to some people.


How? I just type and send it.

To who?

I don't know! People all over the world really. Sometimes my kid's mom, sometimes friends from the States, and sometimes family.


Don't you know what the internet is?


Ten minutes passed and she was mopping near me so I told her to give me a song, any song. And the artist. She gave me Ricardo Montaner and I threw a song at her and she burst into amazement... Then tears. Told me she felt she was getting signs from God to go ahead and go back to her old boyfriend because that was their song yayadyadayada.

I can't believe I was so naive to automatically assume she knew about the internet.

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May 18, 2007 - 08:19 PM
why guru cant win the gaming forum war (=O!)
Haha, I go in the gaming forums and its like a whole nother world. You little bright icons with their shit. It reminds me of something like the Gold Saucer. I feel like I'm walking into an arcade in there.

Shroom season is a comin. Watch out you silly bottlenoses.

More soon before my internet connection is invariably (IS THAT PROPER USE OF THE WORD?) lost again.

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May 17, 2007 - 12:27 AM
Some people need to get punched in the face.

Me: Hello?
Caller: ...
Me: Hello!?
Caller: Who am I speaking to?

That's the only solution for this sort of telephone tactic. New GF code of honor: If you call a motherfucker and need to inquire about who you are calling, introduce yourself first. It's really not that hard. Be courteous you shit.

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May 10, 2007 - 03:29 PM
OO High + Impulsiveness = GF President idea!
That was the actual title of a thread I was about to make in CC. I thought better about it but will save the memory here. Haha.

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Feb 18, 2007 - 08:46 PM
Can it be?
[08:01] OctoberOmicron: sup homey
[08:01] OctoberOmicron: come back and post
[08:01] OctoberOmicron: things will be ion our favor soon
[08:03] OctoberOmicron: JOIN ME
[08:08] dj satis: bad timing, i'm just about to go out =(
[08:08] OctoberOmicron: aww man
[08:08] dj satis: but remind me tomorrow!
[08:08] OctoberOmicron: butt its something you might be into doing?
[08:08] dj satis: yeah, why not
[08:08] OctoberOmicron: come back and post?
[08:08] OctoberOmicron: skates gone man
[08:08] OctoberOmicron: thiongs can happen
[08:08] OctoberOmicron: come back plese bastard
[08:08] OctoberOmicron: and have fun tonight and bang someone
[08:09] OctoberOmicron: I AM YOUR FATHER
[08:09] dj satis: i already said yes haha. are you drunk?
[08:09] OctoberOmicron: High man, just high.
[08:09] OctoberOmicron: with this stuff from up North.
[08:09] OctoberOmicron: Dude, we have a lot to discuss then
[08:09] OctoberOmicron: but have fun and well catch up!
[08:09] dj satis: we do
[08:09] OctoberOmicron: And guess what
[08:09] dj satis: what
[08:09] OctoberOmicron: this week will be six years since we both joined
[08:09] dj satis: whoa, crazy
[08:09] dj satis: it really has been that long
[08:10] OctoberOmicron: Chinese new year just started yesterday
[08:10] OctoberOmicron: year of the omicron mtoehrfucker!
[08:10] OctoberOmicron: haha, have agood one fucker. TEAM FEDORA JST GOT SOME JOLTS.
[08:11] dj satis: hahaha. catch up with you later!
[08:11] OctoberOmicron: =O

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Feb 15, 2007 - 02:07 PM
trippinmg on Furby
you guys see this giuys sig and avatar? holy fuck that shit freaked me out. its like an anime version of the freak antijesus child that homo satan was carrying around. Fuck dat shit serious. Yous ee it Kurado?

i was smoking some shit todaym, nirvana haze when my weed master returned and showd me new stuff he got and we did a three way weed mix of different strands or whatever. dude im no scientist so bfuck you man. anyhow i think wee is like alcohol int hat if you mix it youre gonna get fucked up more. i am like on one of those string sling roller dirby spinner things yu played with as a kid and i am fucking turvving along.

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Feb 10, 2007 - 12:53 PM
This man will be:
My James Earl Jones

Currently Playing: Mana-Vivir sin Aire

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Feb 8, 2007 - 09:44 AM
omg too ,uch
YouTube Video
this is fucking awesome. nirvana haze awesome


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Feb 3, 2007 - 12:29 PM
1000 posts in seven months!
Haha, finally reached it. Funny, used to get 1000 posts 2-3 times a month.

I dedicate it to LeHah.

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Feb 1, 2007 - 01:31 PM
OO writes poetry? (Translation update)
Yeah, I used to when I was younger. Pretty horrible shit really. Anyhow, eight months ago when I got to Guatemala I said I'd write a poem in Spanish when I felt comfortable with my SKILLS. Here it is. It's for my childhood, my failures, my dreams, and even my reputation here at Gamingforce.

Me dicen que soy un gran ser
Pero a veces me siento como un insecto ver
Dicen que tengo un gran corazon
Aunque a veces no me sale mas que razon

Me dicen que tengo una gran paz
Mas en la vida no siempre me siento capaz
Dicen que hablo como los sabios
Pero perjuicios han salido de mis labios

Dicen que doy ejemplo a los demas
Pero no entiendo, a veces soy tan contumaz
Asi me dicen que soy la libertad
Pero por mi ya no quisiera la soledad

Solo dicen y redicen
-Pero por favor dejenme ver
Que no soy lo que me dicen
Y me duele saber lo que puedo ser

Non rhyming translated version.

They say I'm a great person
But sometimes I feel like a crawling insect
They say I have a great heart
Even if sometimes only common sense comes out

They tell me I have a great inner peace
But I'm not always able to feel this way
They say I speak like a wise man
But judgments have left my lips

They say I give a good example to others
But I don't understand, sometimes I'm so stubborn
They tell me I represent freedom
But were it to me I wouldn't be alone anymore.

They just tell me and retell me
-But won't you please let me take the time to see
That I'm not what they say I am
And it hurts me to know what I could be.

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Feb 1, 2007 - 11:19 AM
Congratulations. You have achieved: PREDATOR VISION
So many things going on right now I want to talk about. Even wrote a poem I want to post. Anyhow, last night I was drunk and high and in a very dark park with friends. Everything was normal until I heard a noise behind me at an unknown distance towards the backend of the park and I sharply turned my head (my body stayed facing my friends) and it was like my vision went to Predator vision (from the perspective of his infrared vision and all the other modes his helmet gives him) and it was lolies. There was nothing there.

Later on I was looking at the nearly full moon. After some close inspections I realized, if looked at correctly, the full moon is a small vision of the Kingdom of Christ. I then realized that I was seeing what I will see when I die: The Kingdom of Christ at a moon's distance from Earth away from me when I die. Out of reach.

Currently Playing: Silent Hill - Esperandote

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Jan 30, 2007 - 01:52 PM
This one's for Kurado!

You're a good guy man, and I'm dedicating this award to you buddy.

And, to a much lesser extent, I'm also dedicating it to the nine mofos that felt my Kurado thread titles should have won most worst/most annoying trend. I'll have threads coming up soon in your honor.

Currently Playing: Groundation - Weeping Pirates

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Jan 27, 2007 - 11:08 PM
oh man
I was having an intense session of weed after a particular difficult conversation with Lenore when, after making some questions and being sked a few things and telling my buddy some stories I realized that certain parts of my life are missing. They dont make sense. There are gaps and changes through my first fourteen years of life and now I think I understand what happened and probably why.

I want to write about it now but I'm still not 100 percent so Im gonna wait and stuff.

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Jan 21, 2007 - 10:27 PM
Damn it Patriots!
Holy shit what a fucking game. I'm glad Guatemalan ESPN let me watch the Patriots and Colts. Watching two of the greatest quarterbacks of all time was fucking amazing, but the Pats fucking failed me. I really wanted to see them get four Superbowls in six years, a new feat. SHIT FUCK.

They were whipping Colt ass so well. WHAT HAPPEN.

Just saw the clip showing the fucking Bears are going to the Superbowl for the NFC? Fucking nuts. And I can't believe Bush helped the Saints get so fucking far. For once this'll be a Superbowl where neither team pisses me off, though I'll be going for Manning since he's had it coming. He earned that shit today.

lolies at the football players actually speaking in Spanish during their post-game interviews.

Currently Playing: Korn - Yall want a single say FUCK THAT.

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Jan 20, 2007 - 08:20 PM
ninjas cant be stopped..
was in the apark with riends. out of the corner of m eyes in the parking lot i seee a dark shape. imemdiately i assume its a ninja. i realized then, at that moment, that even if I had or hadnt seen that ninja coming if his attention was to kill me and my fou rcompanions then nothing would stop him. not ven eif we saw the ninjaman coming a mile away.

now i am contemplating: is it cool, can you sleep at night, knowing there are LIVING WEAPONS INT HE WORLD ABORAD MOTHRUFUCKER SAY WHAT yeah"

ninjas must bes stopped

i got a cool tmnt metal trash can at toys r us once.

toys r us was my heaveon once. when i had my little dude ninja dreams.

doy ou like dreamin gf with ninjas.

Additional Entry Made Within The Hour (YODA SAYS WHATS):
Yoda says "i sense anakin skywalker in GREATTTTTTTTTTTT pain right now. *shakes head with stressy*


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Jan 14, 2007 - 04:18 PM
Star Wars auditions
Anakin Skywalker: OctoberOmicrno
Luke Skywalker: Paikuhan
Leia Skywalker: need someone here
Padme: Need help
pAlpatine: NYRSkate
Yoda: Dopefish
Mace Windu: Dyhalto

i need an obi wan and an rd and threepio

oh god

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Jan 10, 2007 - 05:58 PM
What hapepns when you go to heaven.
So, it goes liek this. You're living yur life whens uddenly something happens and you know it, life knows it, and somehow you know youre about to die.

SCENARIO ONE "you go to heaven"

Bam, life is freeze framed before your eyes. An Angel grabs you and syas LETS GO, THAT CAR IS A COMIN TO HIT YOU and he takes your spirit out of dangers way.

SCENARIO TWO " you go to hell"

I dont know yet lolies. i do know however that you do feel the impact of death and experience it. No one comes to save you.

Currently Playing: Sergent GGarcia - Palique

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Jan 10, 2007 - 11:43 AM
Now I understand.
For the longest time Ive noticed my right arm is slightly darker than my left. And if anyones seen my right hand youd understand me when I tell you I just realized its the first part of me thats actually started to rot.


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Jan 9, 2007 - 11:24 AM
Silent Hill is over 100 years old.
Edvard Munch drew this in the closing decade of the 19th century. We've all, at the very least, seen this painting. Some know who drew it and roughly when, but do we really understand the meaning?

Originally Posted by Edvard Munch
I was walking along a path with two friends—the sun was setting—suddenly the sky turned blood red—I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on the fence—there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city—my friends walked on, and I stood there trembling with anxiety—and I sensed an infinite scream passing through nature.
I was out of my fucking mind last night and was looking through a lot of art when I ran into this. I came to the startling realization that this motherfucker, even if for a moment; was transported to the alternate dimension of FUCKING SILENT HILL. The painting is a perfect rendering of it.

A prequel should be made based on this painting. Even his friends in the background don't know what the fuck he's going through.

Currently Playing: Mana - Labios Compartidos

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Jan 7, 2007 - 03:23 PM
I hate being sober.
YouTube Video
It's been a rather hectic two+ weeks. Traveling all over this country to new places, meeting in particular two very intriguing ladies, drugs, alcohol, dancing like a fool, and throwing my savings around as if I had enough to last me ten years. Even got into Reggae, especially Spanish Reggae. As for the English variety the above is one of my favorites, even if Nas nearly ruins it.

I miss my kids, I miss the family I created, Lenore, my mom, the states. I miss being American, being able to consciously work hard and save money to follow my dreams, instead of working hard in this country just to live month to month. I hate the shallow-minded people that dominate this country, the police, the military, the old generation that keeps things the way they are.

I hate the fact that I'm doing so much and in reality all I'm doing is dancing around the big empty hole my life contains, something I can't fill and it seems it'll be a while, if ever, before I can.

Alcohol, and to a greater extent drugs, are the ultimate freedom. Freedom from my mind. I like turning my back on my problems. I've always looked to the future with speculation and dread, but now I can tell you I'm living my life day to day. I'm happy to see I've successfully destroyed the legend status I used to carry around here, though I wouldn't be above eventually being called a tragedy.

When I'm sober entries like this tend to happen.

Currently Playing: Iguana Manga - Detras de las Montañas (Guatemalan Reggae Rock)

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Jan 5, 2007 - 11:28 AM
I feel classy.
Last night I went out with my buddy in a borrowed car across town. The destination was some sort of surprise, and we arrived at the house of a friend of my buddys. Boom, sit down, and start smoking shit among other things.

So after a couple of circle passarounds I look at our host and this motherfucker is like =O with the expression on his face as he's making another joint and lacing it with God knows what. Seriously, his face was like:


during the process. Bam, we go through that and next thing you know he's all:


again. ANOTHER JOINT. At this point I'm arguing Guatemalan politics with my friend, which I know half assed about. I look at our host again and this time he's like


but he's not rolling up anything. He looks over at another guy that was there and says "go get the pipe" the same way and tone you would tell your son YES, GO AHEAD AND GO PULL OUT THE OLD SNES SUPERSCOPE IF YOU WANT.

Dude goes and gets the pipe with the =O expression on his face. It's not long after this I'm starting to black out and we eventually make (LOL! friend just offered me a hit of weed knowing full well I gotta get to the gym real soon) our way back home. I was gonna come and post but I ended up petting the dogs here for two straight hours.

One of the other people at that place never said a word. He was some sort of hippy with long hair and he was watching CSPAN or some sort of MSNBC in English with an unheard of intensity.

Considering it's just weed for now, Imma gonna go hit it once and go to the gym.

Roll that shit up Kurado.

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Jan 5, 2007 - 12:00 AM
the chronicles of a lizard
Ive occasionally told people what the fuck October Omicron means, even as far as the year, but have I really ever told anyone what the fuck October 15th, 2000 has to do with anyway?

In July of 2000 I had a friend of a few years that I had had a sort of falling out with. Long story shirt, I took his girlfriend as my own. He then left to go after some sort of internet girlfriend pursuit of his one month later.

October 15th, 2000, in my life, is actually pretty insignificant for the date itself other than the fact that it was the day I met a special person. Quita. At the time and months with her afterwards I felt and thought I was deeply in love with her. I mean it was unbelievable how much passion I had for that woman. And she shared it and it was one of the last times I felt SHEER FUCKING happiness in my life. Naturally, anyway.

(whoa, right now I made a bunch of trailing periods and when I backspaced to delete them I saw PacMan eating the little periods)

Long story short is that this exfriend of mine did and said certain things that made Quita disappear entirely. I mean fucking GONE FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS WHERE ARE YOU BABY? I have never been able to completely prove he was behind her going but I was sure enough at the time.

Apparently he went to Richmond, California, and hooked up with this broad some time in August, 2000. On Valentines 2001 the two even went as far as to get married. For one reason or another they both decided they wanted to move back to Vegas, which is where I was at. Apparently burying the hatchet my old friend even offered to rent me one of the rooms the apartment he was gonna move in to for really cheap.

Long story short, I took his wife. It was like my revenge in my head for him taking Quita from me however the fuck he did it. but life wasn't gone stand by on this one! Next thing you know and I get his wife pregnant. The day I found out The Lost Lenore was pregnant, ironically, was October 15th, 2001.

I solely used the OO handle when thinking up a username to use here. I joined intoxicated out of my mind my first couple of weeks because it was not long after losing Quita that I came here.

O f course, moral here is Im the one that got king crab fucked over in the end,

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Dec 31, 2006 - 09:18 PM
thats right
im a motherfucking rock star.

you guys eve rfeel that way?

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Dec 31, 2006 - 09:37 AM
I'm fading.
I was hanging out upstairs last night, watching the stars when my buddy pulled out a ton of pictures ranging up to five years old. The restaurant attached to the place I live at has a big wooden sign out front advertising it. It's fading and some of the words are hardly even visible anymore.

But as I looked through all these pictures I saw one of the sign, an old one. The sign had fresh vibrant paint and looked crisped, nonchipped. I don't know why but the picture brought a tear to my eye and it was a rater silly moment really. I came downstairs after that to come online and see if I could find older pictures of myself... To see if I was brighter then, to see if I still had what I feel I lost.

Have you guys ever read the Portrait of Dorian Gray? I wonder what my painting would look like at this point.

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Dec 30, 2006 - 12:24 PM
its time i revealed my true self to you all
*stuffs servers and shit into his chest as he falls to the earth*


Additional Entry Made Within The Hour (oh jesus its him!):
listen to that dramatic song change! OH CHRIST NO I THOUGHT I TKILLCED YOU.

i took that shit to the chest. I AM THE INCARNATION OF 2001. (not applicable to all forms of alaska9. theres no need to look back anymore and make references, i have absorbed everything and i will ALLOW IT OT DESTORY ME.

now, if you allow me to reach a sillier topic I would like to address drugs now. when you do something that toasts you, like get drunk of smoke, or even more like weed, shrooms FUCKING ACID MAN, cocaine, and the merry things beyond on that lolllie world you, indeed, reach a new world. A world of fastividities. but a world nonetheless. its like another dimension running paralllel. PARALLEL MOTHERFUCKER: yeah. when you go to rehab, when you are pressured into counseling, they ARE TELLING YOU TO FUCKING COMMIT SUICIDE ON THIS DIMENSION MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU LIKE IT.

OMG someoen throw the fucking spotlifghts ont he above capped please.

also women confuse me

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Dec 28, 2006 - 04:34 PM
the first part


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Dec 20, 2006 - 02:48 PM
Goodbye me chums.
Going to Xela (pronounced Shella) in a little bit; soon as my buddy gets the fuck ready. His brother has some sort of nice place up there in the middle of the woods, which had me thinking about going until I heard there were American and European girls there along with alcohol, which pretty much sealed the deal.

Pretty sure I'm not gonna have the internet at hand so I'll see you guys either Saturday or Sunday.

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Dec 18, 2006 - 11:26 PM
Spiderman teaches us moves for CLUBBIN
This is fucking great. You guys see this?

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Dec 16, 2006 - 09:32 PM
My respects to the chihuahua.
So my landlords have a chihuahua and two French Poodles. Obviously, the chihuahua is much smaller than the two of them. Anyhow, my buddy Eduardo has certain words that gets them all riled up and if he says them enough they start fighting. Unfortunately for the chihuahua, that means the French Poodles (mother and daughter) tend to gang up on the chihuahua. So the other day when Ed starts yelling the key words at them this poor chihuahua is trying to hide at first, untiil one of the fucking poodles bites its ear or something and the chihuahua just snaps. Snarling, teeth snapping, just straight FIGHTING the evil poodles. After about 20 seconds of this brutal fight at our feet, Ed decides to end it but he can't. The chihuahua in particular had gone berzerker and the dogs had to eventually be put in separate rooms.

I'm not much of a dog person, especially with these types of dogs, but I feel an all new respect for that chihuahua. Each of those poodles is at least four times bigger than her and she refused to back down. Now when she pleads for some food as I eat breakfast or whatever I give her some.

I don't care if you're big or small, whether it's a physical or verbal fight. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF LIKE A VICIOUS CHIHUAHIA. Never back down.

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Dec 10, 2006 - 10:47 PM
Advent Children and more Star Wars geekery.
Finally saw Advent Children today. That pretty much covers the two things that drove me insane in prison because of an inability to watch, the other being Revenge of the Sith. There is far too much I can sit here and say about this movie (saw it subbed), and I'm sure you guys have heard it all by now. I'm so behind. I absolutely loved it and my only complaint is that it should have been 300 times longer. I need an AC Cloud Team Fedora avatar. One day.

Saw the last bit of Return of the Jedi just now, just as Luke is dragging Vader and he unmasks him. So Anakin was 22 when he turned to the dark side and got the suit and all. By the time of ROTJ he was 45. Of course when the helmet comes off he looks a ton older. The actor at the time Sebastian Shaw (I'm not sure when ROTJ was filmed exactly) was either 76 or 77. I think I read somewhere the explanation was the Dark Side RAVAGES the users body after so much time using it... Which made the Emperor's appearance make sense until we find out in ROTS how it happened against Mace Windu.

Along those lines, I read a cool Lucas interview where he says if Vader had not sustained those injuries he would have been twice as strong as the Emperor and eventually would have overthrown him. But after basically being put in a life support suit (not because of losing so many bodyparts) he was at 80 percent of the Emperor's power which explains his almost forced servitude to the fuck. Sometimes I wonder if Lucas just randomly pulls things out of his ass in interviews though.

Anyway, back on topic. It was good to see that part of ROTJ again. The full circle redemption and all after the pit ROTS left in my stomach. I need to watch the old films again, its been too long.

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Dec 7, 2006 - 11:12 PM
Good ol' Star Wars
I saw Revenge of the Sith for the second time just now. The first was about a month ago. This came out while I was in prison, and as pathetic as it might sound I suffered greatly when it came out and I couldn't go to theaters to watch it. I'll eventually go check the archives to see what you guys thought about it a year and a half ago. I'm sure most of it was negative opinions though. There were some key things I wanted to talk about since i was able to pay more attention this time around.

It was sad seeing Anakin execute a textbook self-fulfilled prophecy. He went to the dark side to gain powers that could help him prevent Padme from dying during childbirth, yet this very act is what caused her death. I guess, in the end, this is probably the best way Lucas could've explained Anakin's turn.

Lucas' kid was a little badass for the ten seconds he was in the movie!

Wonder if Luke ever felt bitter? His sister gets to be the daughter of a Senator and a Princess on a beautiful planet while he gets stuck on a desert planet living the life of a moisture farmer? Sure, Owen and Beru come off as a young, loving couple at the end of the film, but we all know what a couple of sourshits they end up being by Episode IV.

Speaking of which, when Luke gets handed to Beru and she takes him to Owen, Owen is standing with his foot up looking at the setting suns. Something about that pose, his silhouette, reminded me a lot of a similar scene with Luke in episode IV. I'm sure that was intentional.

Though Yoda told Anakin earlier in the movie not to mourn death, that it was a necessary part of life and that he should rejoice when people went over (something like that, part of his "get rid of attachment" speech), he couldn't help but feel great grief as shown when he sees Padme die.

I liked a lot of the tie ins to the older movies, especially the inclusion of the Tantive IV towards the end of the movie. Which, of course, happens to be the first thing seen in A New Hope.

And if Yoda needs to teach Obi Wan how to commune with Qui Gon, who taught Yoda in the first place? But we'll just assume Yoda is just a badass and learned it on his own... But who taught Luke when he saw Obi Wan for the first time as spirit in TESB? Or to hear his voice almost immediately after his death? When you hear Qui Gon yelling at Anakin to not kill the sandpeople in The Clone Wars, does Anakin hear that or does only Yoda notice? Bah.

Dooku's cool.

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Dec 5, 2006 - 06:16 PM
Wacky slang and movie title translations.
I've picked up some pretty cool slang here, not all necessarily of Guatemalan origin. I'll make a new list a good while from now to see how it's expanded. Funny, I've always tried to keep my English clean but could really care less about how I speak in Spanish. For the most part I'll type things out phonetically.

Mara - Can either mean gang in the traditional sense (like the "Mara" in Mara Salvatrucha for MS13) or gang as in the "hey, looks like the whole gang's here!"

Tengo weba - "Weba" is slang for "webon," a lazy person. Having WEBA is like saying "I'm in the state of feeling lazy as fuck" but it sounds cooler.

Weesa - Girl, usually young and cute. Look at that WEESA.

Kasakas - Basically "shit." "It's against the law to park there! Look at that sign!" Response - "Kasakas with that sign." You could also ask someone to hand you a bottle of coke or whatever by saying GIVE ME THAT KASAKA.

Chinche - I've mostly seen it used while people drive. The driver mutters (mostly to himself) at the other wild driver on the road: GET OUT OF MY WAY CHINCHE. Apparently an actual chinche is some sort of wild bug.

Paha(s) - Lie(s) (instead of "mentiras")

SHO - My favorite. Basically SHUT UP. Short and effective. I'm thinking its origination is some sort of Spanglish.

Webudo - A person that acts WEBUDO is acting with nuts. Courage.

Webes - The opposite. A person who WEBES is being a little bitch. "No te webes" = "Don't get scared now!"

Some silly movie titles translated back to English.

Lost in Translation=Lost in Tokyo
The Good Son=The Evil Angel
The Manchurian Candidate=The Ambassador of Fear

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Dec 4, 2006 - 08:08 PM
I'm gonna kill that motherfucker Merv Burger.
Finish this shit right at the root.

When this started I was mildly amused. Then I realised it was a theme week item and was a little irritated that something that's basically an in joke is an official theme. I was prepared to hit every Merv fucker with bitter insults in every thread I could. Unprovoked but fuck it.

Then I see all the journal entries, the titles, the fights, etc. I haven't even looked as to what's going on on the actual board concerning this and I don't want to. But seeing all the bickering and HOSTILITY kinda snapped me back into reality and now I'm back to being mildly amused all over again. It's kinda elitist, but then again anyone can join in so fuck it.

You ever get that? You go into a frenzy over something and it's not until you see that look in the eyes of another person that's going nuts over the same thing that you realize the completely unnecessary madness that's going on?

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Dec 4, 2006 - 10:39 AM
Earthquake results and wacky bus rides.
Okay, so yesterday's earthquake wasn't so bad. It was a 5.3 and the epicenter was 15 kilometers off the Guatemalan coast in the Pacific; about 141 kilometers away from the capital where I'm at. Read the paper today and not too much damage it seems. Only lasted twenty seconds too... Seemed like more when it happened.

Been taking the bus system here lately to run shit around this horrible city.

Part of the elite force.


Anyway, riding these things is a real experience. Apparently about 200 a day get robbed by the MS13 bastards. So there's a certain risk involved which makes it FUN. A lot are entirely steel on the inside which I can't help but get nervous about considering the last time I was in such a bus in the States. They're about 13 cents a ride, though in this monster maze of a city (layout's a mess) multiple transfers are necessary.

Unlike the states, also, these motherfucking busdrivers will continue to let people onto the bus until THERE IS NOT A FUCKING SCRAP OF SPACE LEFT IN THAT MOTHERFUCKER. It is such a fucking mess in there on the more frequented routes that I don't even know how to begin. but it doesn't end there, this is where the comedy starts... Some people NEED to get a ride, and if there's no space left on the bus, they'll hang FROM THE WINDOWS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING OUTSIDE OF THE BUS. I am not lying, I am not exaggerating. To top it off, the busdriver's helper will go outside and charge these motherfuckers during a red light or whatever.

I've ridden buses in California, mainly the RTD, and in Vegas with the CAT routes. This is something else entirely. I'm not sure whether to be frightened or laugh my ass off.

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Dec 3, 2006 - 03:55 PM
Not 15 seconds ago the entire fucking world it seemed was rocking around on a ship. I've experienced earthquakes before in California, but that motherfucker was a good minute long and crazy. No damage here though.

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Dec 3, 2006 - 10:13 AM
I sinned yesterday. Massively.
Anyone who's read my ORDER IT RARE, KURADO thread will understand this.

So, the cafe I kinda work at had a pretty good spot yesterday selling food at a stand in some nearby forest to kids on a spiritual retreat. Sounded like a load of shit to me, but whatever as long as I make money.

I was in charge of coffee and the carne asada (grilled flank steak). Fifty steaks in the afternoon, another fifty that night. By my hands I desecrated the meat... I put that beautiful red flesh on the grill and watched it go from a beautiful rare, to medium rare, to medium AND THEN TO WELL DONE. Apparently that's how your average Guatemalan likes it and it was a cruel twist of fate that I'd have to do this to the meat myself.

By the end of my ordeal I was in partial shock. But I had prepared and saved a steak for myself. I cooked that fucker 20 seconds one side, flipped it for another 20, and onto my plate. It was so dark at that point I could barely see what I was doing but then I dragged that fucker to a corner, like when a leopard drags a carcass up a tree so other animals won't take its meal, and ate it like a BEAST. Rawest thing I ever ate, delicious, but because of the food standards in this country I might have to be more careful in the future.

During this frenzy I noticed some of the kids at a nearby table were singing Christian songs and having a good time. It made me feel good knowing not everything at that place was fake.

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Dec 1, 2006 - 02:46 PM
Cut all my hair off just now. I'm not bald, just sporting a standard haircut I guess. It's just too much trouble to have long hair being a guy, and it gives me more problems than it's worth in this country. Maybe when I get a job that doesn't give a shit I'll grow it back. But for now I'm just an upstanding bottlenose... On the outside.

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Nov 29, 2006 - 11:12 PM
Why Team Awesome?
Tried to negotiate certain plans with Team Awesome on behalf of Team Fedora (only me at this point =/) and they threw their door in my face through that little shit Tails. Whatever that two-tailed prick calls himself these days.

Hurt my feelings pretty bad (=OOO) but what can I do? They fucking OWN EUROPE and I'm all alone. But there'll be a day...

*shakes fist ominously*

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Nov 28, 2006 - 10:06 AM
My humiliation knows no limit.
Last night this girl came over to the diner I partially work at (my neighbors) looking for someone who wasn't there. I took the floppy disk she was looking to deliver and started talking to her for nearly a half hour. Beautiful girl, pale skin, hazel eyes, and hips that, uh... Didn't lie. Long story short, SHE'S FUCKING FIFTEEN SWEET JESUS WHAT HAVE I DONE. So I aborted the whole thing. I feel like VG's apprentice now. What bothers me the most is that I think most people think I look more like 30 than 25, and this girl had no problem having a pretty prolonged conversation with someone she must've known had an interest in her that she probably thought was twice her age. Is it just me, or do Hispanic girls seem to develop faster? I thought this girl was at least 20. Damn it.

But apparently that wasn't enough. Today I decide to go to the gym real early. Had a hard time sleeping last night. I'm doing my thing in there, working chest in particular, when OUT OF THE BLUE a particularly vicious Mudvayne song comes on I haven't heard in a long time. I guess one of the workers there likes the band. Basically I flip out and go into my old hyper/furious workout mode. Before I knew what I was doing I was putting three wheels on each side of the Olympic bar and going for a new max since starting to work out again... I pull the bar off the rack, it touches my chest, I get it up about six inches off my chest when I realize I can't complete the damned thing...


It was early so only women were around, and it took two and me pushing to get the shit off my chest. I left not long after, not even completing the rest of my workout. I will never go to the gym at that hour again in fear and shame that the people that saw me "perform" today will remember my folly.

Today I learned to be more careful in the gym and avoid women altogether.

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Nov 27, 2006 - 08:19 PM
Like the old days... Almost.
I was browsing some threads in the staff area and saw some posts from Drex and Uzuki on some topic. Seeing two ancient staff members like that reminded me of when I was a brand new moderator, seeing how my sig had been a problem in those days and discovering that the brand new moderator Devilion was actually IkarusZino in disguise.

You guys ever see things around here that bring you back?

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Nov 25, 2006 - 11:04 PM
1) Ever been to a strip club?
No, though over the years I've had friends tell me they were gonna take me for a great experience. Getting cockteased doesn't really appeal to me though.

2) Ever been to a bar?
Yeah, quite a few times really especially when in Coban with my family. Now I keep it lowkey at home though.

3) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Just a bar once for being underage. No biggie.

4) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
Carried? No. Two broads holding me by the arms and helping me out to the car? Yes.

5) Kissed someone of the same sex?
Jesus no.

6) Thrown up from drinking too much?
Haha, about half the time I drink this happens. The best memory I have of this is my sister and I both getting too wasted and, almost simultaneously, leaning over the chair we were sitting on and casually vomiting. Luckily the bar we were at had an outside area (and we werent sitting close to eachother) with a dirt floor for just that sort of thing.

7) Had sex in a car?
Nah. Just a lot of groping.

8) Had sex in a pool?
Never. Uh, just groping again.

9) Had sex in a movie theater?
Nah, groping again though. Good God man, I just can't seal the deal in these things. At a movie would be fun though.

10) Had sex in a bathroom?
Yeah, but mostly oral. Any actual sex was just brief before taken to a more traditional place.

11) Had sex at work?

12) Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Hmm, I have a vague memory of going to one with a friend because of some collection he constantly updated. Not sure though, but probably. There are none that I've seen in Guatemala. =/

13) Bought something from an adult store?
No. As a gag gift Christmas of 1999 I got a wind-up penis though.

14) Have you spent over 100.00 in one visit to the adult store?

15) Is there someone you wished you never had sex with?

16)Is there someone you wish you could have had sex with?
Yeah, because of some silly ideals I had back then, I held out on some, looking back, great opportunities.

17) Is there anyone on your top friends list you wish you could?

18)Have you had sex with anyone in your top friends list?

19) Are your breasts real?
Yeah, real. Hard like fake tits though. Hmm.

20) Have you ever kissed a stranger?
My first kiss was with a stranger.

22) Have you ever had a one night stand?
Could have with the above person, but didn't go through with it.

23) Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
Hell no. Luckily none exist.

24) Best place you have had sex?
For adventurous reasons, on a balcony. For "romantic" reasons, by the fireside on the floor while there was a poweroutage. For risky reasons on the livingroom couch when someone could've strolled in.

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Oct 8, 2006 - 06:36 PM
I seriously fucked up.
Just letting everyone know I`m going through some shit. I`m in the main capital of Guatemala now instead of the small town of Coban I`ve been at the last four months. Fucking horrible. I`m not going into the details, just try and understand why I probably won`t be around for a while now.

This is a hell of a way for my 26th year to start. I thought I`d of gotten used to the patterns of my life by now, but I haven`t.

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Oct 3, 2006 - 11:45 AM
Who the hell is Lukage?
Because I found out about this entry so late, I`ll go ahead and address it here. Here`s the link for those that don`t know. ntryid=12529

Do I care about your gas passing? Actually, I do care. I care a lot. It`s downright fucking FASCINATING. Is that okay with you Lukage? Can I be weird without you blowing a gasket over it? Sure, some of the examples you gave are pretty fucked up, but (the gas, the emo shit that mysteriously struck a nerve with you) I think they`re forum appropriate. You goofy little shit, what else do you think the quiet place was made for?

I assume my thread titles were annoying because of the amount of times I mentioned Kurado. But that`s over now (Was directed to this journal entry far too late anyway, so it`s a mute point now).

I post for the sake of posting? Isn`t that what we all do? Or are you accusing me of trying to build up a massive post count? Because I know that`s possible with the hour a day I devote here. YEP. Really, what are you accusing me of?

I`ve never been laid, Lukage. Kinda sucks. Friends? No, I`m the Noob Saibot of this world. =O

Take the ban issue up with staff. They control that.

Now for the comments... Hmm, Lukage seems upset that I didn`t contribute enough (though I said enough in the opening post) to the thread I made on gas passing? You that curious about me, guy? Maybe I should ask you the question you asked me earlier.

This one`s interesting from Mucknuggle:
"Also, we really don't need him to post as many threads as he does. Slow down a little and give people a few days to actually discuss shit before you post 5 new threads 3 hours later."

What if twenty different posters posted one thread each in one hours time? Would you complain then? Would you tell them all to keep in mind people like you that need that extra minute? That extra day? Why don`t you take your punk ass to board support and ask staff to only allow one thread to be posted every... Eight hours? Could you hang on then?

The rest of the ridiculous points were pretty well covered by other people in there. I hope we can be friends Lukage. Really now, I do.


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Sep 27, 2006 - 05:10 PM
The Enemy=Kurado
Haha, not really. Just kind of funny how fucking with the guy turned out. Thought I`d get some DRAMA, instead I read about how his friends are more concerned about it than he is and wanting to stick up for him... Though I myself never hear a fucking word from anyone. Ah, in the end I just feel like a bully.

But Kurado`s a pretty cool guy, and even more importantly he`s been here a long time. YEAH I SAID IT.

Cheers buddy.

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Sep 17, 2006 - 03:14 PM
Prison Life
March 30, 2004 - Present

A quick note before I continue. Apparently I confused some people. The first time I did time, in jail, it was because I was held in custody while fighting my case. Which meant I was going to get out after serving a sentence I would later be convicted for, given bail, an OR (which I got), or winning my case. When, by the miraculous coincidence I explained already, I got out of jail in 2003, it didn`t mean my case was dismissed. It simply meant I now had the opportunity to fight my case from the outside world instead of jail. When I took a deal and plead guilty, I was later sentenced and not given probation but sent to prison. So now I continue from there.

So the judge, having sentenced me to a 2-5 year sentence, gave me the very minimum he could have given me for the 2-20 I plead guilty to. The max would have been an 8-20. But still, it was little consolation. The bailiff handcuffed me, and I was taken to some brand new holding area. I called Lenore and my mother from there, both were obviously crushed.

Later I was moved to a cell. The feeling was so disgusting. Even seeing old faces that obviously hadn`t made it out since the last time I had been there nine months before. When I woke up the next day, and saw those same fucking walls, it was crushing. Like a bad dream that was reality upon opening my eyes. I`m not gonna get too angsty with this shit though, so don`t worry.

On April the 9th, 2004 I was moved to High Desert State Prison. About 30 miles north of Las Vegas. Nothing but mountains and desert all around. This was a maximum security prison also used as classification. The fish tank. Unfortunately for me, it meant being put in a cell, by myself, from April 9th until May 18th. I never left that cell except for an hour every three days to make a quick phone call and shower. Because all sorts of criminals were kept in that prison during the classification process (the process that decides what prison you will be sent to) everyone was isolated this way. I was allowed nothing. Just a notepad, envelopes, stamps, and a short pencil. I couldn`t read or watch or hear anything. All I had time to do was think about what the hell I was going to do with my next two years. If ever I can look back at a time when I may have eventually gone insane, that was it. I even had to eat in that cell. To pass the time I`d keep my oranges and eventually learned to juggle up to five at a time. I couldn`t make my sundials because the windows looked at concrete walls. It was during this time that Lenore informed me about the shit Belgara was saying about me on the board. And the shit I`ve yet to find that other members supposedly said. It wasn`t the best time to hear this.

The prison, High Desert, is actually the setting for some boxing movie called Undisputed. Ving Raymes, that big black bastard from Pulp Fiction, is in it. I think.

Eventually I was moved across the street (literally) to the Southern Desert Correctional Center, a medium security prison. This is where I would stay for the greatest part of my next two years. Not a lot to recount here really. My daughter, Vanessa, was born November 19, 2004. Made her about a month and a half before I was sent to prison.

I tried to occupy my time the best way I could. Back in 1996 I dropped out of the tenth grade. That`s another story. So in September of 2004 I got my GED: After slamming through the classes offered onsite at the prison, I got my (adult) High School diploma May of 2005. Sad, really, but some inmates take up to five years to complete that shit. I even started some courses I never finished (because I was paroled) through the Community College extension. Free too, since I was under 25. I took Life SKills, Sociology 101, and Business and Marketing. Not sure what good any of this will do me in this country, but fuck it.

I ran and ran everyday. You`d think I did nothing but lift weights there, but I kept away from that. I needed something that would exhaust me enough to not think, and running did it for me. I got to the point of running five miles every other day. I also got into playing handball, which is a sport that, now that I think of it, you only seem to see in prison movies. You basically slap the shit out of a blue tennis racket ball against a wall with an opponent or with a partner against another pair.

Fuck am I talking about handball for? Anyway, that was pretty much life in prison. I only got in about three fist fights, but I`ll only describe the last one for entertainment value later on.

In April, 2005, Lenore left me. I`m not going to get into the reasons, but it was unavoidable it seems. I was crushed. She was like the anchor to my life out there. Without her I really was all alone in the horrible world I was in. The next few months were misery. But, coincidentally and thank God, about a week after she left me I got a surprise letter from Sass explaining to me the Zephyrin situation, asking if I could help get him unbanned, and generally asking about me too. I was mad with Gamingforce at the time, but I still missed you bastards. So I replied, helped Zeph out, and it turns out starting corresponding with Sass until the day I stopped doing time. Zeph wrote me too, and helped me correspond with lurker. So these distractions, aside from being pleasant, helped me deal with my loss with Lenore. Before prison and jail I, for the most part, detested Sass. But when it counted she was the one that was there for me. I`ll never forget that.

A little our of order here but I was first eligible to get out in August of 2005. Which, if you count the time credited I did in County 2002-2003, was the two year mark on my 2-5 year sentence. Unfortunately the parole board didn`t think I was ready, so I was denied. I got over it though.

This year, January, I saw the Parole board again, and this time they granted me parole. That was also the same month I reunited with Lenore... Though I`m not sure how our relationship will survive where I am now. =/

(Quick fight story. For months my last cell mate, at one time a good friend, would wake me up two hours before breakfast call because he was so noisy when making his coffee. I swear, the need for caffeine woke his ass up in the morning and I had to pay because I`d have to stay up once he started his process. MONTHS I endured this. I tried to talk to him, we`d reach compromises, but he never respected them.

Finally (funny though because it was three days before I was released to immigration custody and in my stupidity risked losing the parole I was granted) I jumped down from my top bunk (I always did prefer the top bunk) after he woke me up and stood between him and the fucking coffee pot in a confrontational stance.

Will: You got a problem?
OO: I think you know the answer.
Will: Come on man, we`ve talked about this before.
OO: I don`t want to talk about this anymore.
Will: Oh, so it`s always about what YOU want in here being done. Who cares about what I think...
OO: Nagging at me like a woman is only making me madder.
Will: Oh, so now I gotta stop talking because YOU`RE GETTING MAD!?

Bam, I charged him. I must have thrown about 20 hard, straight punches at him. I didn`t feel a thing... I wasn`t sure if I just didn`t feel because of the adrenaline or if he just didn`t get a shot in on me. Eventually he ducks down, wraps his arms around my waist, and starts rushing me back towards the cell door. Luckily as I fall I twist my body and I land on top of him. Sadly, the top of my head hits the cell door, but at the time I didn`t know. I hop up while he`s still down and start punching his fucking head. At this point I`ve lost it. As I`m throwing at him I`m hysterically yelling at him "is this what you wanted all along!?" It was nuts. He works his way up to his feet but I just throw him back down and continue. He`s lucky I was punching his head and not his face, or that I didn`t decide to just stomp on him. Finally he says some shit like "John, you`re gonna get us in trouble" like a straight woman. But it calms me down, because at this point I know that if I`m caught I lose my parole. So I tell him to get in the corner of the room and I stand by the door for a half hour until breakfast is called. I had to feed that son of a bitch with my own money so he wouldn`t have to leave the cell to eat in the chow hall and have the cops see his face. Fucking Washington State piece of shit. He was bigger than me, but had me by about fifteen years. I kind of feel bad about this incident now. About an hour later my head hurt from the bump I had after hitting the door. Also, my chin hurt slightly, he must have gotten a good shot in on it at some point.

Anyhow! On March 13, 2006, I was released from prison into the custody of immigration. This time, as a felon, I was not eligible for bail like the last time they had me. I was fucked. It was basically fight for your right to stay in this country (and some were fighting for up to eight years in that jail) or sign papers and be deported. And I did fight, for two months, until it became clear it was never going to happen. I was a felon. And to top it off, I had NEVER had any legal papers because, although I myself should have done something once I was an adult, my mother stayed away from legalizing us out of fear of getting us deported. So my 22 years in the States didn`t matter, nor the fact that I had two children.

I believe it was May the 10th I signed. On the 23rd I spoke to the Guatemalan consulate and they confirmed I was a citizen of this country. On the 24th I was moved to Florence, Arizona. Some sort of Federal Facility there for illegals being flown around the world. On May 31st I was dropped off in the Guatemalan capital, where my father picked me up. And here I am now. You all pretty much know the rest of the story.

All in all I served 1032 days. 240 the first time, and 792 this last time. 34 months. Two years, ten months. However the hell you want to look at it.

Oftentimes you think of prison, jail, whatever as a place that you stay at... Simply a loss of freedom, of liberty. But I saw it as something a little different. I saw it was a place that simultaneously kept me from all the people and things I loved, while keeping me around some of the worst people this world has to offer. I appreciate being out of prison, but I`m still without the family I created, my friends, my country. In many ways, I`ve yet to completely feel free.

If there`s anything you guys want me to go into greater detail about, or think I missed, let me know. But for now I think I`m done.

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Sep 16, 2006 - 06:14 PM
A free man! The first time, anyway.
July 9, 2003 - March 30, 2004

So, I was free. Over the next nine months a lot happened. I worked a lot of odd jobs, the most stable being working for Home Depot as a carpet installer, and later as a carpenter. I took Anger Management and Child Nurturing and completed those courses, and in turn CPS gave me more and more visits with my family. I was living with my friend during this time.

The movies I remember watching when I got out those nine months were The Hulk, the second and third Matrix, 21 days later, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Return of the King, The Missing, Bad Santa, five minutes of Garfield, and The Last Samurai.

Shortly after getting out I rejoined Gamingforce. As a sidenote here I`ll explain a little bit of what I have against NYRSkate. You see, when Skate/Blaze joined Gamingforce, we hit it off pretty well. He even gave me pretty good priority on his FTP. We were friends in chat and on the board. He`d help me with troublesome people I didn`t see first, etc. He must have joined late 2001, maybe December, and we were close until I left in June. Then, when I came back after doing time in jail, he was an admin here. Immediately I felt the cold shoulder he was giving me. He was short and standoffish. I didn`t understand why. I won`t say who, but I later found out it was some sort of jealousy. He, apparently, felt he could never live up to some stupid image (an image I never asked for or wanted) of how Gamingforce looked up to me and my protege Paikuhan as a team. I guess he felt that upon returning I was gonna take his heat away. I don`t know.

It bothered me because I always confided in him how some of the shit some members said about me, especially the ones I hardly knew, bugged me. He knew I wasn`t into all that. Later on, when i was in prison late 2004, I find out he was the one that found my prison address so that Sass could send me a GF bundle from here. He goes through the trouble of calling the prison to ask about me and my address, but then he doesn`t even say "hi fucker" in the package Sass sent herself? Fuck that cocksucker. I`m glad he`s gone. Fucking fat two faced son of a bitch. The only thing that ever separated him from CainEJW was his sexual preference... I think. He has all the attributes of a dog. Well, except for the fact that he isn`t loyal worth shit. Fucking New Yorker.

Sorry guys. Anyway, I also had a lot of court dates. I managed to get my trial pushed back from October 2003 until January 2004. At one point, miraculously, CPS agreed to let me move back in. It was a beautiful moment. Until the DA found out and, in court, had the judge block me from moving back in. She was probably terrified that I would spend six months back with my family and the jury would have a harder time convicting me. Who knows.

There isn`t much to say. I spent time working, with friends, on the Las Vegas strip fucking off, with my family, etc. Just living a normal life but making sure I was having fun. The first time I went to jail I never had a chance to tell Gamingforce, my family, my friends, even my damned cats goodbye. But this time I was going to make sure every moment counted. And for the most part I did that. Except when I got myself into that GFF/Belgara mess, which isn`t half as bad as she made it seem AFTER I got sent to prison. But I`m not going to get into THAT story in this entry.

When my trial for January came along, I started to think heavily about the consequences of me and Lenore getting found guilty. Sure, there was A LOT on our side (the kid`s testimony, the fact that I wasn`t home for the injury that had my son taken to the hospital, no criminal record, etc) but there was a big risk we could get a fucked up jury that wouldn`t like us because of many reasons. It`s fun to say if you`re innocent you`ll be set free but when you`re looking at 8-20 years it`s a completely different story.

So, in something I sometimes regret, Lenore and I decided to take a deal and plead guilty and not go through trial. Fuck me. What if we lost trial and Lenore got sent to prison? What the hell would happen to the kids? Our cats, our belongings, everything. Taking a deal guaranteed Lenore probation and gave me a fighting chance for probation, and ultimately even if I got sent to prison it would be for less time than 8-20 years.

So we take a deal January 16, 2004. We both have to go get a psychological evaluation and we both pass. The next two months go in a blur. I overeat like a freak out of stress and eventually reach 262. Haha, fuck it. Sentencing is on March 16, 2004. We go, but something (I forget) happens and we have to reschedule. Before I found out we would reschedule I was a nervous wreck in that court room. I saw the chained up inmates in the row of pews next to me and I knew I didn`t want to be among them again. Fuck that. I couldn`t go back!

Two weeks go by. I leave my goodbyes here and with my friends and family out there. March 30, 2004. When our turn comes up, we stand up and approach the bench. Well, the judge is still about twenty feet away, but still. I walk forth and the judge tells me he wants to Sentence Lenore first. This worries me. What`s it matter what order he sentences us in if we`re both gonna get probation? Unless... =/

So Lenore is given probation. 2-5 years. At this moment she almost has two and a half years served but they`ll probably make her do five years just to make sure I don`t come back. Anyway, it`s my turn. He asks me if I have anything to say and I say something like "your honor, she (the DA) said that if you ever granted me bail or an OR I`d only come out and hurt my family, get in trouble, or leave the country. I`ve done none of that. I`ve taken all my classes, shown up to all my court dates, and here I stand before you. I can tell you as a man of my word that I will dedicatedly complete any probation program you give me. Please give me a chance."

Then my lawyer and the DA got in a long fifteen minute argument. It seemed pretty even. Then, as my lawyer was screaming on a particularly long tirade, the judge stops him and says "don`t bother, I have to send this man to prison." From here on out I don`t remember much. Just that when he said that I immediately put my hand down on the desk in front of me for support. Prison, I thought. More isolation, more time being around people I couldn`t stand. Violence, loss of family. No freedom. Everything gone. Shit. Fuck.

At the time I didn`t hear anything. My lawyer, Jonathan MacArthur, hugged me. He was a tough son of a bitch. Later on I found out the judge gave me a 2-5 year sentence. Apparently, I later found out, once INS found out I was a felon on probation they`d just deport me. The judge didn`t want that. He wanted me to serve time instead of just getting deported. I guess, if he truly felt I was guilty, I can`t blame his logic. Anyway, I had eight months worth of credit, but still... FUCK!

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Sep 16, 2006 - 04:38 PM
A five year old comment from your favorite bottlenose.
Is it just me, or do you guys ever look back on something you wrote months, maybe years ago, and get disgusted with your style? Here`s something I posted on my old site about two weeks before moving in with Lenore. I still lived with my mom during this time.
August 05, 2001
Damn, it's been about six-seven months since I last updated this place. I originally quit working on this place because of a problem I had late January, later in February I finally got a computer at home, and so on. A lot of things have changed since then, main thing being I'm moving out from my current residence in about three weeks. I'll still live in Vegas though.

Anyway, at this very moment I won't be updating much. But for now I've updated this page, cleaned out the guestbook, got rid of the forum (since CoolBoard was dead) and have added one last poem to the poems section; "Why."
It was the last poem I wrote before giving up a lot of things, and picking up a drinking habit (Which is gone now). Bah, reading these things I wrote in this site is funny. Most, if not all, of my opinions have not changed, but my temperament and outlook has. I guess a lot of the things in me died after Quita, and new things were born in place. In the end, I guess it was all for the best.

Anyway, these days I heavily hang out at But more directly, I hang out here.

I'm OctoberOmicron there. It's a nickname I've taken up since late February. So instead of Dweller or Johnny Legacy, it's "OO" now. Short for OctoberOmicron.

Enough already, I'll update here soon enough beyond what I just updated, see you all around.
Never did update it again. Ah well. I`ll have the next segment on my JAILTALES up in a bit.

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Sep 15, 2006 - 06:07 PM
In jail... But not quite like Cody from SF Alpha
Yeah, I never did get the pinstriped shirt/hat combo.

November 12, 2002 - July 9, 2003

So, the cop takes me down the steps and to his car. Eventually, he makes his way behind a casino (Mandalay Bay) where apparently all the patrol cars that had been out picking up people with warrants deliver us. Here I see a few paddy wagons or however you spell that. Basically you sit in the back of a reinforced van while handcuffed to some handy rails. Before being thrown in, all my money and valuebles were catalogued.

I get in, finally, and across from me is Lenore. I`m immediately surprised and alarmed. I thought only I had been BUSTED and she would later that day get the kids back. She says the same CPS woman that had arrived with the cop at my friend`s place to get me came to get her the hour before.

We`re taken to the County Jail. We both get thrown in two different holding tanks. Basically, you`re held in these tanks until you are fingerprinted and interviewed for classification, and then until they find an available cell for you. So I sit in this room with about thirty other guys for about 13 hours. Fucking disgusting. For a while I kept imagining that at any moment a lawyer of some sort would come get me and say "they realize they can`t hold you on this, I`m getting you released!" Apparently I`d been watching too much Law & Order.

Some time around three in the morning I`m taken to a cell. At this time it dawns on me that I won`t be getting out of this mess so easily. My cell mate`s some goofy white dude who had choked someone out with a crowbar of some sort. Charming fella. Vance Benson I remember he was called. Being in that jail, on the ninth floor, was an experience. You think of the BAD GUYS in society and you see them sprinkled around town when you go out. But there, in jail, it was a fucking CONCENTRATION of the most vile scum in Las Vegas. It was like a society of people I`d never seen before. Murders, attempted murder, Grand Larceny, grand theft, etc. God save you if you had a sex crime, especially against a child, and you wound up there.

In my eight months there I didn`t get into a single fight. Basically being respectful but firm and confident will always keep you out of trouble in jail or prison. I don`t really want to get into the personalities there and incidents because there`s too much to cover.

I go to court three days later. I see Lenore there in her County Blues. We read what we`re charged with for the first time. Child Abuse and Neglect. Four charges, one for each of the kids. Apparently Lenore is charged for not reporting my abuse to authorities. Here`s the fucked up part... The charges for the older kids can be summed up as me slapping the first one (I did slap him once. He was throwing a tantrum and trying to kick Lenore in the stomach while she was pregnant), locking the second one on the balcony (I put him on timeout and he decided to stay there an hour after his ten minutes were up because he was mad), and picking up the youngest, by the ear, off the ground. Now, I`m no expert, but I imagine such an act would leave horrible damage to the damned kid`s ear tissue. And, obviously, I don`t think my grip is strong enough to pick an 80 pound kid off the ground while only holding his ear with one hand. I later found out that when he was interviewed he was sitting down on a chair, and when the CPS Agent asked him where his feet were when I held him by the ear he said "like this." He`s a kid, so his feet didn`t touch the ground... CPS took some liberties there.

The kids, from what they say, felt pressured to say what CPS wanted them to say. I don`t know what to think, to this day, about all the shit that went on in these CPS interviews and the actions taken in my case. I admit, and always have, I fucked up. I should have watched my son closer or had Dala quit sooner. But this shit being pinned on me was out of hand.

I asked for a bail reduction (my bail was 100 grand) and the District Attorney (DA) fought it. Later I found out I had an immigration hold and was ineligible for bail. This was crushing. There seemed to be no end in sight. Lenore did manage to get her bail reduced and she was released one week after being thrown in. Thank God. The next week she got the kids back. Apparently CPS gets ten thousand dollars for every child they collect after the first 30 days. Lenore got our kids back after 31. Maybe a coincidence, I don`t know.

So much to say but I want to sum this up.

Over the next eight months it`s endless court. The DA keeps getting the trial delayed. The DA wasn`t offering me any sort of plea bargain (which is a deal you make to plead guilty in order to get a reduced sentence, maybe even probation) and I wasn`t going to take one anyway. I wanted to fight. But it was stressful, I knew guys who had been fighting their cases for three, four, sometimes five years. The bad food, the horrible conditions, the delays in movement in your case, etc I felt were tools the system used to pressure a person into doing what the DA wanted. Why fight your case if you could just plead guilty and go to prison, where conditions were much better? I`ll explain that later.

There was a time, just about all of April 2003, that I was crushed. I didn`t eat, I just lied on my top bunk, ignored my cell mate, and watched the movement of the sun and the shadows it created on the walls. I made many sundials, and was continually frustrated by the daily reallignments I had to make. I would watch the sun set behind Mt. Charleston and it would depress me. There was no end in sight. No trial date planned, my son was growing up without me, Lenore was having problems, and I was sitting in a cell fucking off. Fuck. I wanted to find and kill that blond cunt of a DA. Every single time I tried to get a bail reduction or an OR (an O.R. is when the judge releases you on your own recognizance, he releases you without you having to post bail, basically under trust that you will show up on your court dates) she would describe how I must have viciously twisted my son`s arm, that I would do it again, that I was an illegal and might run back to my country. Fuck the fact that I had been in Vegas with all the little family I had for seven years at that point. Fuck it if I knew nothing about Guatemala. I was a FLIGHT RISK. So no O.R., no bail reduction, nothing. Just sitting in my cell like a jackass waiting for a trial that felt like a distant dream. Then worrying about being deported. I fucking cried a few times, after the sun set. It felt like my life was ruined, extinguished like the sun and all that remained was darkness. Serious angst in April.

Then, one day in May 2003, I woke up and after getting shredded in court by the DA`s comments I came to the mindset that I didn`t care. That my new life was life as a prisoner. That Lenore, my kids, my life was gone and I needed to get over it and adjust to the new me. So I became social again. I did my thing and found comfort in my dials and keeping statistics on the things I`d buy on the jail commisary. I had Lenore send me books, I`d talk to her on the phone, had her look up interesting stuff to send me from the internet, etc.

Thank God for Lenore, she was in many ways the only comfort I ever had those eight months. The DA had offered to drop all her charges if she would sign to take my parental rights away and say I, indeed, did abuse the kids. But she stood by me. Most criminals in jail have, logically, criminally minded girlfriends on the street that, put in that situation, would sell out their boyfriend in a heart beat. But thank God Lenore didn`t do it, or at this moment I`d still have around six years left to do.

In June, 2003 Lenore`s mother got me a street lawyer. A paid attorney that could focus on my case instead of the Public Defender I had who had to worry about her 200 some odd cases. In late June we went to court and he had the charge of me pulling on the youngest kids ear dropped. He asked for an OR for me and the judge told him to file a motion for it and he`d hear it the next week. I`m basically standing up but not paying attention to all this. I`d heard it all before, and I felt the judge would never give me an OR. I felt it was useless. I felt my new lawyer`s only purpose was that he would be much better prepared to fight for me at trial than my public defender.

July 1st comes along. I go to court and my lawyer shows up. But I don`t see that fucking whore of a DA. I forgot to mention, but she was pregnant since the moment I had first seen her. Come to find out she was at the hospital that day. She had just given birth. For a moment I hoped that what happened to me would happen to her and her child, but it faded. I didn`t hate her that much. Some Assistant DA shows up and explains to the judge that she`s not available, and that she has my file and he can`t get ahold of it to fight my motion for an OR. The judge is, for some reason, in a bad mood that day. I see this shit going on and I`m thinking "Damn it, now I gotta come to court AGAIN for an OR I will never get." But the judge didn`t feel that way. He felt this damned district attorney should have been prepared. "OR granted" he yells. I, before I can catch myself, let out a yelp of delight and surprise. He calls for the next motion on someone else to be dealt with, and like a stupefied jackass I remain standing. The inmate next to me reminds me to sit down.

My lawyer leaves, having had gotten me an OR out of the blue. I tell you, there was no way in hell I would have ever gotten that OR if that DA had been there that day instead of giving labor. No way. Sometimes I wonder what my fate today would have been had that not happened the way it did. But it did happen, and I will always remember that day. That moment.

Because I had an immigration hold, INS picked me up the next day. Because I was not a felon I was given a 19,500 dollar bail. It seems high but it`s that way because people dealing with INS are huge flight risks.

I was then put in the North Las Vegas City Jail. Thank God Lenore`s mother was there for me. After a stressful week she found a bail bonds agency that got me the hell out of there.

I stepped out of INS Headquarters on July 9th, 2004. I had done 240 straight days... Before that I had never done any time at all. But, as I walked through a lawn, it was a beautiful experience. To be free. To be able to go where I wanted without being watched or needing permission. I went to a payphone and called Lenore, then my friend to come pick me up. The breeze felt beautiful against my face as we drove to Arby`s (man was that shit delicious after county jail food for eight months) and then to his place. To be able to get dressed, use the bathroom, sleep on a bed, take a shower in private, etc was wonderful. To be FREE!

Gamingforce, for the most part, was in the dark about all this. Because I had retired and left the board before I had gone to jail, very few people knew about what had happened to me. I had Lenore let Vertigo (an oldbie from here) know, and he would very randomly write me. I gave him the full story, wrote it all out, and he scanned and sent it to the rest of the staff here. I didn`t want the board in general to know. There was too much going on and I wanted to keep it private. It wasn`t kept private long. Rockman/Decker, then on staff, apparently let Zephyrin see these logs at his house and Zephyrin posted them on the board, feeling everyone should know. They were almost immediately removed by staff. I forgot what happened to Decker, but Zephyrin was banned until I got the ban lifted last year. More on that later. Dsal, julia and Chuck were also kind enough to write me during those months in jail.

Sorry about the general disorder in this entry. Bear with me! More maybe tomorrow.

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Sep 14, 2006 - 05:24 PM
Mr. Javier... You`re under arrest.
So, a lot of my friends and generally everyone else never really got the details on what the fuck happened to me the last four years. I guess I can fill you guys in, it`s the least I can do since I always vaguely mention prison and whatnot. I should be able to complete it all in four or five journal entries. Just bear with me. If you`d like for me to elaborate on any certain segment, just ask.

June 2nd, 2002 - November 12, 2002
So my son Vincent was born on June 2nd, 2002. Afterwards I came home and retired as admin from here. I registered him as OO Junior. I also said I`d eventually come back, but with work at UPS and my son, I didn`t know when.

Raising Vincent was stressful. It was a new experience for me, and he seemed extra fussy from what Lenore`s experience with babies told her. In July, the fourth, I met Paikuhan in Las Vegas. I mention little things like this just to give you a general feel for the chronology. In September Lenore got a job, which forced me to babysit Vincent even more while she worked. Which was stressful because the hours she worked I needed to sleep since I worked graveyard hours at UPS. I took care of him, but many times I had her two oldest kids watch him. On my birthday, September 30, I had Lenore quit. Her working brought more money in, nearly 3000, but it wasn`t worth her crying over not spending time with the baby and her older kids and the stress it caused me.

Then October 20th, 2002 came along. I left for my friend`s house since there was a payperview coming on, either boxing or wrestling, and he had a blackbox. After the PPV I`d sleep over since he also worked at UPS and the next day at 3AM we`d go to work together. But just before leaving Lenore calls. Vincent`s arm is limp and red, and he`s obviously hurting over it.

My friend drops me off and I take Lenore to the hospital. His arm is broken with a spiral fracture. Not broken like you imagine, but fractured. To give you an idea, his arm was never casted and he was never medicated in any way.

Child Protective Services (CPS) shows up. They question me, and I tell them the truth. I don`t know wtf happened, I wasn`t there. I left home over 12 hours before. They say they`re going to question the older kids, and idiotically I agree. At the time I didn`t know I had the right to demand a court order. CPS did a lot of shady shit to us, but I`ll keep away from that subject.

Look, I never beat Lenore`s kids. I was beaten when I was little, and like hell if I ever brought that sort of pain on another human being. But I did discipline them, and I did get physical if I had to. Generally just light spanking and holding Lenore`s five year old by the ear as I led him to his room. No scars, bruises, nothing. But when CPS found out I used PHYSICAL FORCE they said they had to take them into their own custody. I agreed, thinking I had no choice. CPS, I later found out, even went as far as to strip the kids down to check for ANY bruises. Luckily the kids hadn`t fought or had any accidents that week. But that must have been humiliating.

The worst part is that, after seeing the condition of Vincent`s arm, they mandatorily x-rayed his entire body. Turns out he had fractures on both legs and a possible skull fracture. They called it "possible" because it could just have been the area where his skull was still forming. Nowadays we have it confirmed that his skull is fine, but, other than being grateful my son`s okay, that does me little good now. These fractures, unlike his arm, were completely unnoticeable. But CPS and the CPS appointed doctor said that we should have been able to notice these injuries. They said we NEGLECTED to bring Vincent in when we knew he was hurt... If that was the case, why the fuck did we bring him in for his arm? Anyway, the doctor said these injuries happened all over September... Unfortunately for me the same month Lenore worked excessively. Basically it was either me or the kids who babysat him that did it... And I know the answer as far as my end is concerned.

Over the next three weeks we go to Family Court. They want to put us on some REUNITE THE FAMILY plan. They tell us, to speed matters up, we need to sign papers admitting we were at fault for what happened. If we don`t, it could take months, maybe years, to get the kids back. Half because of pressure to sign these papers in order to get the kids back faster and half because of my stupidity in not researching the mess I was in we sign. They say we`ll have them back November 12, 2002.

Unfortunately, I did not realize that by signing admission of fault papers, a District Attorney in Justice/District Court could charge and file warrants on not only me, but Lenore. Of course, we`re not told this until after the fact. I shrug it off, thinking there was no way this would happen. I hadn`t done anything, and the truth would set me free anyway. Obviously, I was a little naive about the American Justice System in those days and, to a greater extent, human nature.

On November 12, 2002, I was sleeping at my friend`s place. I forgot to mention, but part of the REUNITE THE FAMILY plan was for me to move out and take anger management/child nurturing classes, etc. I hear a knock at the front door and I wake up. I hear my friend say something like "Oh, I didn`t think this was a possibility." Footsteps. A knock at my door and a man comes in and says "Mr. Javier, please get dressed. You`re under arrest:" The fucker turns the light on and in my blurry vision I see him, and next to him the head CPS agent on my case. She says "You`re gonna do time and then you`re going BACK!" "Back" refering to me being deported. Fucking whore.

So I stand up and tell her "I`m sure." The fucking officer pulls his gun on me. Back in those days I was 280, fat as hell but powerlifting. I tell him to relax, that I just want to put a shirt on. Throughout the course of this the CPS woman says more but I ignore her. Eventually she leaves.Then I ask the officer if he`s gonna handcuff me, he says yes. I ask him if I can bring my wallet, he says go ahead. Nonchalantly I ask him how long it`ll take me to get released, he says probably the next day. Not sure if was talking out of his ass or if he just didn`t want to break the truth to me in order to keep me calm. As he leads me out of the apartment I look at my friend in the living room and I tell him "Tell the boss I should be able to go to work tomorrow... This shouldn`t take long." Little did I know what lay ahead for me.

More later on. Tomorrow is Guatemalan Independence day, so I don`t know when these damned internet cafes will open up shop again. I`m just curious when this country will win independence from it`s own corrupt government.

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Sep 13, 2006 - 07:40 PM
Aww, my spot faced SoBe.
Yesterday I ran by a petshop to get some food for the damned dog at my place. Love the bastard but I constantly need to shower him. While waiting for the change I played with the chickies and rabbits. Even shoved a rooster comrade of mine.

Then I noticed a cat for 30Q, slightly less than four dollars. Generally, people in this country hate cats so I didn`t even consider buying her because I don`t live alone.

But it made me think of my cat SoBe. I wish I had pictures to show. I remember being really stressed in April while sitting in immigration jail. I had done over two years at that point and I just wanted out. I was dying. Then one day I call Lenore and she tells me SoBe is sick. The next day he`s dead. Just out of the blue. I couldn`t cry because of where I was, but that really fucking hurt. Even nowadays I realize I haven`t really REALLY realized he`s gone and I never even got to pet him one last time. Just a stray little guy that could easily sit on the palm of my hand when we found him. I was even a little mad when Lenore called him SoBe, but now I know no other name could have been better.

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Sep 7, 2006 - 08:06 PM
Fucking Cornflake
So I woke up real groggy today. Went downstairs and swept up the kitchen. Then I noticed a cornflake. It was moving slowly. In my state of mind, I`m thinking "this is one of those crazy insects that have natural camouflage... Since he hangs out in kitchens he looks like a cornflake. I dig that" This took place in about one second. Then I realized I was out of my mind and picked the cornflake up to reveal a very small ant. I gave him back his cornflake and marvelled about five minutes his strength. Fuck yeah dude. Damn thing is probably dead by now though. =/

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Sep 4, 2006 - 12:55 PM
Straight fucking Shenmue.
I was running errands yesterday and as I looked around shop to shop I realized this town kinda looks like the one in the Japanese town of Shenmue. I had like ten things to find and had to go to various places to find ´em. Each shopowner would tell me where I might be able to find the rest of the stuff I needed and gave me wacky Guatemalan directions. So Í´m poking around this place like a tourist goon. getting funny looks as usual. I even had to get a lightbulb... Silly ass imagination.

One last country report on the things I´ve most noticed about Guatemala.

A popular mark brand for baked goods here is BIMBO. =O

When you greet females here it´s with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It´s pretty cool...

No one walks on the sidewalks. Don´t even know why they made them. I just about always have them to myself.

You can haggle over prices on ANYTHING here. Hell, I got my gym cost down from 100Q a month to 70Q. In all honesty I do it more for fun than necessity.

Expensive U.S. brands here are dirt cheap in comparison. I like Diesel, but a fucking pair of Diesel pants in the states cost anywhere around two hundred fucking dollars. You can find them for thirty to fifty here. Original... Though possibly stolen.

A Mayan woman here will clean your house ALL DAY for 25Q... Between three and four dollars. Pretty fucking depressing.

In town, especially at night, there are tons and tons of dogs roaming the streets. It strongly reminds me of Hyrule at night in Ocarina of Time.

People, my family too, complain about how hot and cold it gets here. After living at the foot of a mountain at prison and in Las Vegas, this is pretty comical. The weather here is beautiful. They call it the land of the eternal springtime.

Man, at certain times of the day the water comes out of tap slightly, sometimes very, brown. This pretty much sucks ass.

Places that generate money, even fucking McDonalds, tend to have armed guards standing outside in case of trouble. These fuckers have either shotguns, rifles, and sometimes uzis. No fucking lie.

It is absolutely custom for everyone here to, at one time or another, drive around wasted. It doesn´t even seem to be guarded against by the authorities.

All for now. I miss the States, my kids, Dala, my whole life.

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Sep 3, 2006 - 01:33 PM
No one loves VGM in prison.
So yeah, in many ways I had a hell of a hard time finding people with like interests in the various jails and prisons I stayed at. Not ONE fucking VGM fan. Ah well, what can you expect.

I had this friend though, in prison for using a bottle in a barfight and causing ¨serious bodily harm" (as his assault charge reads) who loved the Metal Gear serious. When I´d walk by him in a hall he´d ¨hmm!?" the same way the guards in the game would when they thought they´d heard something. As well as the ¨what was that" phrases the guards said. Crazy bastard, I swear the son of a bitch would´ve hid in a box if he could find one big enough.

Anyway, I hope my mom gets around to sending me my stuff from the states. I wanna hear some of my VGM, especially the FFVII and Silent Hill OSTs.

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Aug 8, 2006 - 06:53 PM
Country Status Report - FOOD EDITION
Well, it´s nice to see my favorite fruits like limes and bananas are fucking dirt cheap here. I smash through nine bananas and maybe ten limes a day for less than a dollar. Sometimes for dinner I get these things called CHURASCOS that consist of two big ass pieces of carne asada, baked potato and tortillas that costs about $1.50. Beautiful.

But then cold reality hits.
No McGriddles at McDonalds. Even after a two and a half years my tastes buds YEARN.
No Flaming Hot Cheetos.
No Burger King.
The Rice Crispies box is invaded by some strange frog... What happened to those three faggots?
The milk just doesn´t taste right.
No Buffalo (Cayenne Pepper) Sauce.
No Vanilla Coke... Or Dr. Pepper. Not that I drink soda anymore, but it was kind of reassuring to see these staples.
Damn, even silly shit, like Ranch Doritos. They do, however, have a wide assortment of different types of spicy Cheetos and Doritos. I wonder why the Flaming Hot variety didn´t hit it off here.

No SoBe.
No SoBe.
No SoBe.
No SoBe.
No SoBe.

*Shakes a sad, sad fist at the sky*

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Aug 5, 2006 - 11:09 AM
Country Status Report - Part 1
So, I just recently passed two months in Guatemala. Currently I´ve been painting houses for Q50 a day, which is about ten hours a day. I´ve been teaching English three hours a week for about Q500 a month, and I´ve been job hunting in hotels and restaurants for about a month and a half. Oh, by the way, Q7.50 is about one dollar American. So you can see I´m living the GUATEMALAN DREAM right now.

I read up some reports on Guatemala when I was certain I was going to be sent here. Thinking back it´s kind of funny how they would constantly mention how oppressed and mistreated the local Mayan Indians were. So I was thinking I was gonna find some seriously depressing sights here. Fuck that, those fucking Indians are some of the dirtiest, rudest people I´ve ever met in my life. If they eat from garbage cans, have little education, and just about always survive by doing freelance housekeeping, it´s because they don´t have the ambition to improve themselves in life. It´s sad because, like most poor people, they pump out kids left and right. And you can just see that these poor kids are being raised by these people to almost learn that this way of life is the ONLY option. So really, the majority of these poor bastards never get out of the cycle.

So yeah, 200 dollars a month for food and rent doesn´t sound so bad until you realize the minimum salary is just below 200 a month and you have so much other shit to pay for. Fuck man. Then, in order to work, I´ve damn near had to get rid of all my long hair, which sucks, because this fucking country is so full of people that can´t understand a man with long hair.

I had a lot more to say, but now I´m irritated.

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Jul 13, 2006 - 11:43 AM
My dad.
So, since leaving for the United States at the age of two and a half, I had no memory of my father. I finally met him May 31st of this year, when he picked me up at the Guatemala International Airport. I knew that once my life restarted after nearly three years of prison and jail I´d have a whole new start, but it´s really been an entirely brand new life.

It´s really amazing how, although I had absolutely no relationship with him my entire life, we can be so much alike. (To basically sum it up, I was kidnapped and hidden from my father by my mother and taken to the U.S. back in ´84.) And even though he´s my father, I´m not going to sit here and put him on a platform, but he really is one of the, I´d say top five, most intelligent people I´ve ever met in my life. The man knows shit I wouldn´t have even thought about learning about, and the things I consider myself well versed in he can more than hang with me on. I´ve learned more in the month and a half I´ve spent with him than at any other point in my life.

So I´ve met six of my eight sisters, one´s in San Francisco and I´ll see her in September or so. They´re all college educated, he took good care of them. I have them, about fifteen nieces and nephews that I´ve met so far, and an aunt. I still have a lot more family to meet. Sadly, my only brother on my father´s side was killed back in 1991 at the age of 19.

I´m happy to have regained all this, a lot of what I felt inside as having always missed in my life without really knowing has been filled. Unfortunately, being the gloomy bastard I tend to be, it´s depressing because I´m constantly reminded now of what I´ve lost, and, most of all, what I could have been. And I can never regain that. Never.

So really I don´t know what the fuck I´m going to do with my life. At least I´m still relatively young. My two kids are in Las Vegas and I´m over here and how the hell am I going to help them? I always swore, growing up, I wouldn´t let any child of mine go fatherless the way I did, and now look.

When I die, I can only hope to be half the man my father is.

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Jul 12, 2006 - 07:48 PM
Thank you.
I´ve been looking through the archives lately, mainly at what happened the week or so after I got locked up. I wanted to thank many of you for responding the way you did when I left March two years ago. A lot of you I expected to get some kind words from, but many people who I didn´t necessarily get along with came through. Of course, when I came back this time these same people didn´t say a damned thing to me, but in a way that´s good. I know you´re there with me when it counts.

Here are a couple of links to what I´m talking about:

It´s funny that virtually all the people that said they´d write, didn´t. But I don´t mind, I know how things are in the free world and how shit gets in the way. Also, information on how to contact me may have been held back and unnecessarily complicated and I expect many just gave up. I can´t blame you. But at the very least, thanks for giving a shit. And a big thank you to the people that did write: Sass, Zephyrin, a lurker, Wild Violence, julia, dsal, and Chuck. Also for the Christmas and Birthday threads you guys printed out and sent me. A lot of your letters reached me at probably the worst moments of my life, and I´ll never forget that you were there for me.

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Jul 12, 2006 - 12:04 PM
Gym woes
I´ve always gotten pissed off when I go to gyms. Without exaggeration, 90% of the people in gyms don´t know what the fuck they´re doing. They run in there thinking they can get results slinging weights around wrecklessly, or training for two plus (no plus symbol on this damned keyboard!) hours daily. That´s the major reason I worked out in my own little home gym for so many years.

I guess in this new country I´m in it´s no different. People are jackasses all over the world. Unfortunately, being in Guatemala and all, the average size and height of the people here is much lower, and the equipment is adjusted to meet these standards. So I´ve had to do some creative shit to get a decent workout at the gym I´m going to. To top it all off, they only have five pound weight plates and up. No 2.5 pound plates, and sure as hell no one and a quarter pound plates. The whole point of weight training is to do a certain amount of sets and reps, complete them, and GRADUALLY increase the weight resistance so your body can adapt. a 2.5-five pound increase is great, but this gym only allows for ten pound increases at a time.

And then their damned dumbells only go up to fifty fucking pounds. Maybe no one´s complained before, but I´m going to see if I can get a job there and help bring some better shit in. This is a silly ass topic to start my journal with, shame I don´t have my old entries anymore.

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