[DnD] Let's Cast Magic Missile!

Oh Zerg, you and your playing the game sensibly.

As a casual observer, seeing you guys muddle about deciding what the best course of action is in any given situation I'd suggest that a leader is exactly what you're lacking at the moment. Garrmondo has a shield and Glock is made of metal, what more defense could you possibly ask for?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Defense was never really a consideration for the Horde. Sure Gabe could soak up a lot of damage but given our primary tactic of run straight in and start hitting things, any consideration of playing to traditional roles of striker, tank, leader or what have you went pretty much out the window in favour of trying to hit the enemies with as many bits of the scenery as possible. I think once your party consists of a triple-class halfling and a warforged bard, you're best off just watching your own back and hoping you're entertaining enough not to get killed for a laugh by one of the others.

Looking at the various character classes available, apart from Paladins and Fighters, there doesn't seem to be much in the way of defensive classes anyway. Most of the things on there seem essentially either wizardy or attacky and fragile, although I admit I have no idea what an Artificer does and we've had loads of fighters and paladins so far (Proportionately of course). I guess a Bullywug Assasin would be like that toad dude from X-Men, that'd be pretty funny and there's not nearly enough using of the rules for swinging on chandeliers and shit going on at present. I had high hopes for LeHah pulling off some Errol Flynn-esque swashbuckling but we all saw how that panned out.

Heh, after you got all pally with the orcs in the stronghold, maybe he should go with an Orc Watchman?

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'll be most upset if someone else plays a minotaur before I get back in (Sometime in 2015). Actually, I'll get over it and just pick something else stupid instead (A fat, goblin bererker for example).

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I think that's the most impressive display of going from completely fucked to winning a fight we've seen, without calling for divine intervention.

Assuming Acer doesn't die of course.

Edit: As a matter of interest, when was the last time the party had anything to eat or drink?

FELIPE NO

You know Zerg, some people like to play this for the roleplaying and characterisation. It's not like people are in need of optimal builds for some sort of PvP championship or anything.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Have you not interacted with Pang ever? The more you try to optimise certain aspects of a character, the more he'll throw bad guys at you that circumvent that. If someone joins who can hit an ogre in magic plate with his eyes shut, Pang'll start introducing invisible ogres with magic plate meaning the rest of the party are fucked. Either that or base an entire adventure around enemies immune to physical damage or something.

Sure it's nice to play what-if with the character builder but over-specialisation is a bad idea in a group that isn't perfectly complimentary of each other's skills and when faced with a GM wize to your antics. Pang's main aim as far as I can see it is to provide an interesting and entertaining narrative, not somehow "Beat" the players because as DM he can kill you all any time he wants. By over obsessing about the dice rolls and numbers, you're in danger of dragging him down to your level.

I mean, what's to say that the last guy you're about to kill hasn't got some charm of automatically-summon-a-fuck-off-scary-demon-should-I-get-killed? Obviously there's no right or wrong way to play the game but from the point of view of a spectator, it's the content of you guys' posts that's entertaining, not the dice rolls at the end of them (It goes without saying that you're all entertaining mind you, just don't turn the whole thing into one giant spreadsheet and probability table).

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

That being said, Zerg's fascination with the game's underlying numbers is probably a net benefit to the party specifically because he actually pays attention to things. I don't think anyone was actually tracking enemy HP to any degree before, and now there's a lot less "I attack that guy, unless he's dead from the previous attack, in which case I—"

Oh, the extra cohesion and focus is undeniable. Now the party can do funny things in battle whereas before teh party was largely restricted to random swirling melees in between extended bouts of gay jokes.

How many of those guests are downloading all the PHB stuff from the first page of this thread, Pang? It might be worth putting "Hide" tags round the links with a postcount minimum to access. It might even get us some new members.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

If only I knew how the hide tags work.

Also, this page from DM of the Rings seems pertinent to our earlier discussion.

Heh, I just checked the link-backs for this thread and we're in the top 150 referring links for Darths and Droids. Their server stats page is the only non-GFF link to this thread so we're not getting someone else's leeches at least.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I can only imagine it might have been some sort of new Google super-spider or something. If you're not getting people downloading the files and we're not being linked to anywhere, I can't really explain that one.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Zerg, is there some sort of player-knowledge-esque reason why you're after those specific bits of your enemies or is Cal just a really sick fuck?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

Why no, other than the claws, those bits of enemies are entirely useless. It just amuses me to see your reactions

Well, okay, that's not entirely true. Cal always wanted to poke an arrow into a heart and shoot the whole thing at someone.

Heh heh, sick fuck it is then.

How ya doing, buddy?

If only there was a wizard in the party who already knew the enchant item ritual eh?

Ah, the good old days.

Oh no wait, Bob knew transfer enchantment or something equally less useful. Either way, isn't it hellishly expensive making your own magic weapons? Would it not make more sense to just take your level up now to make you more likely to survive long enough to make it back to Freeport at all, possibly scoring some almost as useful and more importantly, free loot on the way?

I can't remember the last time any of you had a really good look around for hidden treasure or doors, you could well have strolled straight past enough +10 Greatbows of Noncing About to equip a small army by now and never realised.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

We can.... haggle?

Can I thievery as well?

We've always been able to haggle, it's just that Bob never did because he couldn't understand anyone alive and nobody else ever really bought anything that expensive worth haggling over. It's only recently that anyone's had the kind of cash needed to consider buying magic stuff.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The trick is to wait until the shopkeeper goes home for the night then pickpocket him, seeing as how his basic items require you to kill three dragons to afford on average, chances are he's packing serious cheddar.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Would you not be able to tell whether someone had a book, some fish or a pencil in their pocket before you picked it?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

After an extended rest? Sounds like your big boss fight is happening in a shade under five minutes.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Zerg, imagine how upset you'll be if Cal gets killed during the party's inevitable "Running for the surface being chased by an angry Murkelmor" scene (Unless you guys are nuts and choose to make a stand) and you never get to level up at all? Seize the day, go balls deep now, the new feat might just be what saves you from an angry pursuer.

If there are any feats that allow you to run faster for example, you might want to think about those.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I do hope one of the party's bards comes up with a suitably heroic song about the G-Unit's exploits in the stronghold.

You guys should totally wait near the entrance for the smug fuckers to leave then mug them for all the good loot.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by a lurker

Pang totally should've named them the Unicorn or Teddybear company

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by a lurker

I'll be damned if I'm gonna be the only person who dies because of someone else's bad decision KNKWZRD

YOUR GLORIOUS BEARD WILL NOT SAVE YOU FROM MY ETERNAL WRATH

You're the only person Pang's actually killed so far aren't you? Everyone else has retired or been killed by Skills.

FELIPE NO

I'm not sure I'd call what happened to Gabe "Voluntary".

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Or throw more killer spiders at the group.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

All over some bitch I don't even like anymore.

Life is a bitch.

Bro's before Ho's dude, always bro's before ho's.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

when I think about it Motsognir/Gabe/Brigid technically made three healers but unlike Soggy Glock is actually kind of good at his job

Soggy and Gabe were supposed to be healers?

Originally Posted by Pangalin

(Queue Zerg constantly speculating about where the spiders might be)

On the ceiling of course, nobody ever checks the ceiling.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I can't believe you guys are passing up the obviously easy money in favour of a certainly suicidal theatre trip.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

All in the same boat was only an anticlimax because Deni got shuffled out of the party so we had run out of people willing to start on every npc we met, rather than opt for the puzzle solving and discourse option. I'm sure the fight would have been plenty climatic if it had kicked off.

Next time, if it looks like ending in an anticlimax, just set fire to whoever you're talking to or something, that tends to liven up conversations.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?