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I sure hope you aren't having the dirgey weather we've been having the last few weeks over in Maine, but I imagine it can't be that far off :-/. Apparently it's supposed to get real sunny and warm over the weekend! Miss you guys.
Also I am still alive, have mostly been reading books about brains when I have not been filing (now with more files).
I left things kind of hanging in the air when I left and was hardly able to vocalize anything that morning, because I was feeling extremely disappointed in myself and just could not find any words to describe it. I wish I could have done this in person, but the way I had behaved the days prior just made me feel it would be best if I allowed the proceedings to be on their way and take some time to face myself and reflect on what I had done. I was also not in top shape as can be imagined and I had a long road ahead. I’m really sorry to the people I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to, please don’t take it as me not wanting to see you before I left, because that is so very far from the truth.
To get to the heart of the matter, all I really want to say is this:
I’m sorry I let you guys down and caused damage to what was such an awesome event, where everyone had brought their very best after so much planning and anticipation. I can’t begin to say how reflecting back on it I see that I was so extremely obtuse and unmanageable by the end of my stay that I’m frankly surprised action was not taken sooner.
I also want to say thank you to the guys for being extremely considerate and showing a great deal of emotional maturity in the way they approached me to let me know that I couldn’t keep going the way I was. You handled yourselves with extreme restraint considering how far gone I was, especially after most of you had actually tried to get through to me in more subtle manners beforehand. Your actions helped to level me out in a way that made me understand how things could not keep going on the course they had been, without causing any undue psychological strain. Was I shocked and saddened? Yes, of course, but that was on me for having been like that. Again, thank you for having shown that amount of courage and respect, even when I was lacking in both.
Some folks have shared that there is some concern regarding my well being, and although it is of great comfort to hear, please don’t worry. I am incredibly fortunate to have a lot of people around me who have been trying to get me to change my outlook on things, and I just hadn’t been paying attention to them as was warranted. That stops now. After I got back from Maine and took the proper time to recover from the abuse I subjected myself to, I’ve been reaching out to and engaging with my family and friends, to try and get involved in things again outside of work. My attitude towards smoking has flipped around again, I know I need to work at quitting, and at the very least cut down substantially on the drinking. I also finally have my own place again now, in which I am feeling more and more comfortable already, and which is geographically much closer to work and friends.
If anyone felt slighted personally by my actions or my words during my stay at Meet then please, please, contact me in any way you see fit and let me know if there is any way I can make amends. I truly mean it. I should not have brought my own stress down on anyone else, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel as though they have been unjustly targeted by the results.
I hope that the rest of the week went swimmingly and that everyone got home safely, multilayer flight delays notwithstanding of course.
Finally, I just want to say that even after all this I don’t regret for one split second having gone to Meet, although I am none too proud of the ugliness I brought to it. Believe me when I say that that was not my intention in attending, even if in this case my original intentions matter very little as I didn't quite deliver on them. It was a true joy and an honor to get a chance to partake in breathing proximate air with each and every one of you. I say without the slightest reservation that you are an amazing group of people and I truly love you all very much.
Oh, and to anyone who has considered going to Meet at any point but decided against it for any reason, below is what I wrote in a moment of inspiration regarding it. I didn’t feel the need to run it through a spellchecker as sometimes a text’s small faults can make its charm. Also my caps lock key was wonky when I wrote it but I think the general gist of it is still very clear.
What is Meet like?
Well for starters, the minute you walk in, a friend hands you A bbyg ale with a smile! And if you don’t like beer, that’s fine too, you can spend the week drinkinG regular soda, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, or whatever else you want, the Meethaus has it. No need to start a taB rent a room or order diner my friend!!! No no! Meethaus has you covered.
Now, don’t be alarmed by the two guys moving all about and pointing at things, Chris-crossing around things. They are just Christening them with new and fun names. Now, your experience may vary slightly, but the next thing I saw was a girl who drew And drew And drew the whole time I was there. She drew all of the things. She drew a man who was firing a marshmallow firing rePeter at a man just as he pullS a rahbit out of his shirtsleeve.
There is a real live computer Dev in-house, his ability is inNate and he spends his days Codyng Quests for real live video games. If you decide to go to the basement, you realize that eveRy landing has a friend waiting to share in the fun.
Have you ever felt like talking to a real live philosopher? like Adam Smith Or Bertrand Russell? Well, there are some really wise folks at Meethaus too. If you ever feel your energy Dwyndling, you can just spend all Day very chill by the pool, waxing philosophical. But if you get too chill and forgot to bring a coat, then someone will surely lend you a PauloVer for the evening.
The only part of Meet that is hard, is if you want to win at Punch. Then, you will need Luc as well as skill, because these folks now their vidya. You should watch E rikording of any match played there if you don't believe me.
Really the bottom line of Meethaus is this: it will Ben ja mind! it is better than meeting a real life raJa son! It is filled top to bottom with totAlly reMarkable folks, no jest.
But the realest of the real best part? Jay lives there too! (sorry to hear about your iPhone friend. )
Breaking News: Penis is not an acceptable word in a headline(say some)
My office's network filter definitely does not approve of being a force for gaming. I tried to log-on to the forums at work and it's a no-go. It is relatively unrestricted, as our job calls for a substantial amount of social interaction and research into cultural phenomena in order to work with clients and understand their goals.
In revenge, I can log-on at home from the same machine with no problems.
Which brings me to the pressing question of this entry: what is the best medieval simulation game you have played?
I've been playing a substantial amount of Mount&Blade, and I've thoroughly enjoyed it, almost as much as Chivalry. Crusader Kings II seems like a very thorough strategic experience. I know I am missing some awesome games here hence the question.
As an aside, what are you playing now that is worth it? Keep in mind my limited budget, last gen capacity (in console terms, no handhelds either Vita or 3DS).
Getting a computron box that can run semi-recent games is quite delightful
I don't know what's going on in your part of the world right now, but for us it's a long weekend, and as it happens that I will be taking a rather lenghty trip for training in a week I decided to play shut-in for the weekend instead of driving back home on a rush to see my folks.
As it turns out this is the first period of time that extends beyond a day where I don't need to be doing something for work. I've started work as an associate financial planner, and I've been keeping my musical copyist and sound engineer jobs going on the side.
I guess the whole point of this entry is that I had to get a new computer for the job, as they have a lot of propriety software that I need access to and they have an agreement with, Dell, so I decided I might as well upgrade it as much as I can to be able to play decent games on it, as my Macbook works fine for all my personal stuff. Incidentally, cordoning off my digital work life from my more personal (usually music related [I am a sad, sad human being in personal terms) life has done a world of good.
And so: I finally got a chance to play Civ V properly, I gave One Way Heroics a good go, and I am currently working through Heroes of Might and Magic VI, which I had half-completed before the shitstorm.
Hopefully I will get a chance to join in some sessions with people here soon, I've seen a lot of Lethal League going on, but I'm probably more interested in doing some Street Fighter-ing (not street fighting, tha ain't proper).
This is what happens when you make a man wait for his food and give him crayons
I forgot to take a picture of the final piece, after the people I was with actually challenged me to make it into a less sadistic scene. Adding arms in the windows as though the people were being pushed somehow only made it worse, but then I added burning clouds which were shooting flames and had set the building on fire to make it so they were actually TRYING TO HELP THEM ESCAPE. It still doesn't explain the dog eating a baby in lower right corner, but meh.
After that I had a chicken sandwich with waffles for bread, so that was cool.