[DnD] Let's Cast Magic Missile!

It doesn't really matter whether I say N27 or 27N since either way everyone will understand which square I mean, so I'll do it Shin's way for a while for kicks.

Either that or I'll replace both the letters and numbers with random WebDings symbols.

One of those.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

We read map coordinates the same way as mathematical grid coordinates. Surely to do otherwise is simply inviting confusion?

Then again, you did decide at some point in history that smallest to largest was far too obvious and sensible a way to write down dates so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that your map reading is similarly cack-handed.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Oh here we go, next you'll be talking shit about our units of measurement.

You know why a foot has 12 inches in it instead of a nice, round 10?

Because fuck you

How ya doing, buddy?

Oh well, at least you're forced to use "Letter / Number" in your Excel spreadsheets, Shin

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by CHz

Oh here we go, next you'll be talking shit about our units of measurement.

You know why a foot has 12 inches in it instead of a nice, round 10?

Because fuck you

Um, it's because 12 is easily divisible actually. And that's our system of measurement anyway, we thought of it first. You guys changed a few of the actual weights and shit around, primarily I imagine because drinking a proper pint of beer is too much for your feeble constitutions, but essentially, it's our system and is still the one we use for the most part over here.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Man, I removed it since it was ambiguous, why you gotta do that.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

Oh well, at least you're forced to use "Letter / Number" in your Excel spreadsheets, Shin

Ah but that's still across then down isn't it.

Sorry Skills, I must have hit quote before you removed it.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Are you seriously throwing down because number + letter is too difficult for you to figure out

does bob need a tampon, brigid may have had some in her pack way back when, should've stocked up discreetly

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Garr

What would it have taken to just check the thread to see if it's your turn or not? Is taking five minutes out of your day to throw together a set of moves for your turn that big of a deal?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by a cusack

Are you seriously throwing down because number + letter is too difficult for you to figure out

does bob need a tampon, brigid may have had some in her pack way back when, should've stocked up discreetly

I wasn't throwing down and it's not hard to read, I've been managing fine thus far. I was simply passing comment that we've all been referencing the squares we're in arse about tit. I did notice it when we first started using maps but thought I'd go with the flow. I mentioned it again there as a way to bulk out a rather empty post more than anything, not realising how fiercely defensive some of you guys are about your deliberately obtuse ways of recording things, be it coordinates, time or weights and measures.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Yeah but you were the one I could quote snarkily

Now I have nothing to quote

I... I feel so emptyhanded

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Shin

I mentioned it again there as a way to bulk out a rather empty post more than anything, not realising how fiercely defensive some of you guys are about your deliberately obtuse ways of recording things, be it coordinates, time or weights and measures.

there's something deliberately obtuse about letter + number

I was speaking idiomatically.

I miss having enemy conversations/thoughts go on while our heroes bash them but good.
It'd be interesting to see what the innermost secret aspirations of a chillborn are.


"Unnnngggghhhh...What did I need? Ah, yes. Loaf of bread, stick of butter, gallon of milk."

How ya doing, buddy?

I think the issue there is that the innermost thoughts of the undead are "Ghrhrhhhghghhghaaaaaaaagrhhghghrhhhllglhr".

FELIPE NO

Yeah, but I do remember a Wight who was quite conversational

Most amazing jew boots

Deathlock Wights are intelligent undead, with 16 INT. Chillborn Zombies, on the other hand, have an INT of 2. You can see why there's kind of a gulf there in terms of their relative vocabulary.

Point taken, though: fights are more interesting if the enemies have some semblance of a personality. And with no paladins in the party, there's really no need to use any more undead for a while.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll Thumbs Up

Originally Posted by Shin

My dwarf cunningly stepped in behind the zombie, flanking the beast and hopefully leading us to a swift victory. Sadly however, this left no room for any fireballs, at least not without hitting my companions and losing one buddy per fight was pretty much my limit.

Well, it was these days anyway. As a youth I had hung out with a rather rough bunch of kids. Not through choice of course, it was simply a case of geography. Living as we did on the plantation, the only kids even vaguely my age around were the children of the workers, a mixture for the most part of half-orcs and humans. Oh yes and a single minotaur family. Their son, we called him Steak, I never did find out his real name, was the de facto leader of our group on account of being 15 stone of pure muscle and having sharp horns on his head at the age of eleven. As the only elf of the group, I was subjected to endless friendly ribbing and games like "How long can the elf hold his breath underwater", "Pin the tail to the elf" and everyone's favourite "Elf-hunt" were common. Still, I was one of them and as Steak always told me, "AAAARGHFFRF RRAAARGHFFMMGF MMMRAAFGHFGH MMMOOOOOOOOOOOO!". The combination of a hair lip and a massive brass ring through his nose did make him rather difficult to understand certainly but luckily, one of the scrawniest half-orc kids, one many suggested was in fact a half-goblin, was able to understand Steak perfectly and conveyed his meaning and wishes to the rest of us. Apparently Steak had been saying that should I ever get in trouble then to come to him because if anyone was going to hurt our elf it was going to be him.

One day, I had accompanied my father to visit the nearby village to collect supplies. Father said we'd work quicker if we split up so sent me off to the general store to pick up 25 shovels and a new millstone while he went to source something or other in the tavern. It was several hours later that I, having managed finally to get the millstone onto the cart and spent a good while waiting for my father, was accosted by a gang of youths, local village kids for the most part and all elves. We exchanged pleasantries, me asking how did they do and them asking if I was the "Funny looking queermo from the forest who hangs out with orcs" and questioning my parentage. The first question was perhaps an understandable one but as soon as one of them mentioned my beloved mother, I flew into a fit of rage and launched myself at him, fist flailing, looking to dish out some rough justice to these base-born curs.

My father eventually found me half submerged in the village's communal latrine and took me home and sent me to bed with a good thrashing to think about what I'd done. The next day, after relaying my tale to the group, Steak decided that retribution was in order and a plan was hatched. The half-goblin kid suggested that we arrange to meet these village kids somewhere quiet, away from prying adult eyes and give them a good beating. The decided location for the rumble was Hellspawn Cave, my objections being quickly put down both by sound reasoning from the half-goblin (There wasn't really any dark underworld creatures living there, the adults just called it that to keep kids away because they liked hanging out without kids from time to time, you know, those meetings where they all wear red robes do that funny chanting stuff) and a heavy punch to the temple from Steak.

A messenger was despatched to the village kids and we headed out to the cave to wait for the appointed time, sunset. The group took up positions inside the cave entrance, whilst I waited outside alone, the plan being to ambush the village kids when they arrived. The evening grew colder, unseasonably so as I recall and as the sun set, shadow filled the cave mouth and I felt strangely alone until finally, I saw the gang from the village marching up the path towards me.

I remember little of what happened after that. There were some insults exhanged of course and I remember shouting a rallying cry to the boys I knew were hidden in the cave but after that the evening becomes fuzzy. To this day I have dreams about the wet, ripping noises from behind me, the looks of abject terror on the faces of the village kids, the odd bellow of pain (which I knew couldn't possibly be coming from Steak as it sounded almost like a young minotaur having his limbs ripped off one by one by some demonic monstrosity and I had been assured there were no demons in the cave) and the sight of several bodies, well bits of bodies anyway, strewn around the cave entrance and the path.

I was later told that the fight had got out of hand and a few kids had been badly hurt and that Steak and the goblin kid had both been killed, with all the other kids having to move away, although I could never understand why their families never went with them, especially as they all looked so sad afterwards. Still, I never had any trouble with the village kids again, in fact I never saw any of them again, they must have been avoiding me, like everyone else in the village seemed to after that day. From that day forth though, every time I drank any milk I'd pour some on the kerb for Steak and remember the good old days of the West Plantation Crew.

I sighed at the memory of my childhood chums, wondering if I'd ever see any of them again. Almost as an afterthought I sent another gout of flame towards the flying zombie, hoping to actually hit the fucker this time.

Flameburst at Rotwing

Wow. Now THAT'S role playing!

Too bad the next three in reserve: Acer (halfling), Skexis (human), and Skills (warforged) aren't set up to be half-orcs or goblins

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I just realised I missed a perfect opportunity to make a Metal Gear Solid joke in that post.

Steak, STEAK, STEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAKKKK.

Ah well, maybe next time.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I do not know why the adventure thread doesn't always pop up in my User CP. Sorry about the wait yesterday folks, Sass had to IM me and I posted about 5 seconds later. I really do not know whats doing it - my browser, some code in GFF - but it seems to only affect this site and only for that thread.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by knkwzrd

everybody's got +2 to attack roles against chillborn till my next turn

They don't, actually, because you don't have Resourceful Presence. You have Tactical Presence.

Just FYI

I was speaking idiomatically.

Oh. That's a downer. I thought that was just a trendy name they had thrown on the card to describe the effect of the attack.

Over a year in and I still can't read the basic attack information coherently.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

Wow. Now THAT'S role playing!

Too bad the next three in reserve: Acer (halfling), Skexis (human), and Skills (warforged) aren't set up to be half-orcs or goblins

I decided to go with a dragonborn instead, so we might still be able to arrange for some post-traumatic stress disorder. Maybe the green skin will set him off into a nerd rage.

FELIPE NO

For fuck's sake, has CHz rigged the dice roller so I can't ever get a result in double digits or something?

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Skexis

I decided to go with a dragonborn instead, so we might still be able to arrange for some post-traumatic stress disorder. Maybe the green skin will set him off into a nerd rage.

Green dragons have acid breath

Your dragonborn has ice breath

Therefore your dragonborn is descended from either blue or silver dragons (silver probably what with being good-aligned)

and would therefore not be green

VERISIMILITUDE

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Shin

For fuck's sake, has CHz rigged the dice roller so I can't ever get a result in double digits or something?

You know what, maybe this is the reason why the horde's accuracy has taken a nosedive since the dungeon of doom.

That, or Pang was simply a more benevolent DM and was reporting higher rolls than what he actually got!

How ya doing, buddy?