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He considered smashing open some more pits, but realized he had no idea which ones might be "fortuitous," and smashing them all would create a considerable navigational hazard. If he was going to survive this he certainly didn't need any more allies hurling themselves headfirst into deathtraps. Instead he decided to put his canine senses to use by scouting what was beyond the gem-laden archway. Move to V3. Take a look through archway. There's nowhere I can't reach. |
Sam peers down passage, looking for traps as he edges towards the door, listening for any sort of indicative sound.
This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD. |
The halfling seemed the most experienced of our motley crew and I figured that if I followed his lead, the others might not realise how out of my depth I was here. I followed him down the corridor as stealthily as I could.
Most amazing jew boots ![]() ![]() |
OH YEAH!! COME GET SOME YOU DEAD POET CUNT Percept 18+2 plus an additional 2 if it's a trap I was speaking idiomatically. |
Sam crept up on the doorway as stealthily as he could. He detected a strange sound on the other side — a scraping, as though of stone against stone. Throwing caution to the wind, the kobold rushes past him, kicking in the door. There's a huge goddamn gargoyle inside, sitting on a dais. It seems kind of upset. There are broken chunks of stone scattered all around the dais; the little stone fragments are twitching. Seeing as Beefi and Sam are operating by the radius of his torchlight, Slim is the only one who actually sees the gargoyle. Then it starts shrieking. That should clue them in. It leaps from its dais, flying through the doorway and easily passing over Uxig's head. It lashes out in all directions with its four clawed arms; Uxig and Sam manage to duck the assault, but the minotaur isn't so lucky. Two of the gargoyle's stone claws tear into Beefi's face and chest, sending great spurts of blood spraying onto the walls. Gargoyle Defenses: AC 23, Fort 23, Ref 22, Will 20 Flying Strike! Claw 1: Miss Claw 2: Miss Claw 3: Crit! 18 damage to Beefi, and 5 ongoing damage. Claw 4: 13 damage to Beefi. ![]() What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Oct 28, 2010 at 01:59 AM.
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Word of Exchange miss Hey hey hey there fella I don't think you want to do it this way. I mean we are literally as a group unqualified to do anything except murder things viciously and you're looking a lot like a hooker that no one will miss in a dark alley right now. A large beclawed hooker that could stand to moisturize a bit mind you but it takes all kinds. Just saying intimidate not so much I look and see that two of our group are nowhere around and aim to fix that problem. OI!!! FLUFFY AND FLAMY STOP PLAYING GRAB ASS AND GET OVER HERE! FELIPE NO |
Well, judging by the screams and shouts coming from the freshly opened corridor, we weren't following the red tiles anymore. I broke into a run, trying to get there as quickly as possible.
Minor and Major to Move; end movement at F-1 What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? It was lunchtime at Wagstaff.
Touching butts had been banned by the evil Headmaster Frond. Suddenly, Tina Belcher appeared in the doorway. She knew what she had to do. She touched Jimmy Jr's butt and changed the world. |
MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The minotaur pirouetted on the spot, swinging his massive axe at the head of his adversary before flowing gracefully into a mighty overhead strike, the cow-man's muscles honed from years of cleaving through his enemies. The first swing carved a huge chunk from the gargoyle and the second did barely less injury to the fell creature, buying his team some time to re-group to finish off the impudent creature that had dared to assault the rightly feared barbarian, slayer of armies and vanquisher of myriad foes far bigger and uglier than this whelp. The minotaur snorted noisily, staring at the gargoyle with maddened eyes, daring the thing to try and hit him again Immediate action - Curtain of Steel (11+ to hit) On Beefi's turn - Avalanche strike (11+ to hit) CoS - 37 damage AS - 29 damage Extra damage from Sam - 5 damage Total = 71 damage Jam it back in, in the dark. ![]() ![]()
Last edited by Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss; Oct 29, 2010 at 02:21 AM.
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Standard action - run Move action - run End turn at F2. Oh my, that was a very pissed off looking Gargoyle. Probably best to focus its rage on something besides the party. Spend Action Point Standard Action - Biting Swarm The magically charged spear finds its mark and explodes into a cloud of irritated bees. They waste no time swarming over the gargoyle, pissing it off even more, but also distracting it. 8 damage Gargoyle has -2 to attack rolls until the start of Garold's next turn. There's nowhere I can't reach. |
I admit, normally I'm quicker on he uptake than this, but let's see you not get a little slackjawed when a giant cow screams in agony. I didn't know the fella, but he certainly didn't deserve that sort of pain. Well maybe he did, but at the moment he wasn't trying to kill me, and the big stone monster was. Hot red blood splattered my face. Suddenly I wanted a nice beef stroganoff. More than that, though, I wanted this thing the hell away from me. We could stop by a steakhouse later. I glanced at the cow. Most of us could stop by a steakhouse later. Gritting my teeth, I caught eyes with Clementine the Cow just long enough to make sure he understood the idiotic plan I'd just concocted. I was going to play distraction to a giant stone monster. This was not the dumbest thing I'd done today. I felt this is something I should meditate on. And I would. If we survived this. I darted forward, my blade lashing out angrily at the legs of the monster. I felt the steel catch air, and sharply changed my trajectory, spinning away from another lashing claw and looking to drive my blade deep into the creature's gut. Opening Move hits. Damage with Sneak Attack = 20. I felt the blade catch flesh, and used it to spin myself away. It wasn't as good a strike as I'd hoped. A bee sting to a bear. The situation called for some profanity, so I used some. My momentum put me back or less where I'd started from, but in a more defensive posture. I just hoped I'd opened up the chance for the bovine to do some extra damage. Sneak in the Attack to Shin. (SHIN. ROLL ANOTHER 2d6 FOR YOUR DAMAGE.) Encounter spent. Low Slash. Miss. Encounter Spent. Opening Move hits. 4 damage. 9 sneak attack. Encounter spent. Final Adjustments: Shin needs to roll 2d6 extra damage. Gargoyle takes 20, the easy way. Sam gets +5 to AC and Reflex until the end of his next turn. This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD. |
Get the Flash Player to play this audio file: If it indeed had the gift of language, it seemed no more inclined than before to back down in the face of Uxig's threatening words. Enraged, the gargoyle's mighty leap carries it directly to Garold; it favors him with a single vicious swat from a stone claw, as though in warning. Beginning of Beefi's turn: 5 damage to Beefi Beefi makes his save vs ongoing Mauling Claws: Claw 1: 16 damage to Garold Claws 2, 3, 4 miss. ![]() I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Oct 30, 2010 at 04:14 AM.
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My opponent Ward T. Gargoyle votes in favor of unlicensed cattle slaughter in unsanitary conditions and fears vertically challenged Saurian humanoids. Can you trust a creature like this to represent you in your local tombs and mausoleums? More immediately I run at the beast sliding under the genasi's legs and ending up to the south of the gargoyle. I Swing with my pushiest blow but again whiff. Oh well fuck it I can still keep our walking emergency food supply alive so we don't have to field dress it and drag it through the whole dungeon. Run to g0, Brutal slam on gargoyle miss for fucks sake Rune of Mending using rune of destruction to Beefi granting use of a healing surge +3hp and +2 damage to everyone til the end of my next turn. I was speaking idiomatically. |
One thing that Garold had learned from previous battles was that no one liked having magical angry bees thrown at them, ever. As such, when he heard what sounded like speech from the angry stone monster, his thoughts went something like this: Did that thing just talk? If it's smart enough to speak then it must be smart enough to know that I'm the one who... And that's when its claws ripped a gash across his chest. Who knew a fixture weighing a few tons would be able to move so fast when given life? Fortunately, having so much practice dodging the attacks of furious bee-covered opponents let him duck the second set of claws, while simultaneously calling upon nature spirits to retaliate. They swirled about him, but then focused as he curled his fingers and joined his wrists. Finally, he yelled the primal words of power "Hahh doo khenn!" and directed the spirits into the gargoyle's abdomen. It was a fierce hit, and the impact caused the creature to slide back. Spirit's Rebuke. Encounter power spent. 5 damage to Gargoyle. Push Gargoyle 1 square north. What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
Aegis of Assault on gargoyle. Enervating Slash on gargoyle. 15 +11 = 26 > 23 HIT / 11 + 6 = 17 Damage FELIPE NO It was lunchtime at Wagstaff.
Touching butts had been banned by the evil Headmaster Frond. Suddenly, Tina Belcher appeared in the doorway. She knew what she had to do. She touched Jimmy Jr's butt and changed the world. |
I saw my new friend knock the gargoyle back towards the pit. I wasn't sure what exactly a short fall would do to a creature that could fly, but hell. He was new, and I didn't have any better ideas. So I decided to help by stealing the creature's attention. I decided the thing that could always pull my attention away from things, a good book, a nice drink, was being shot. Maybe he was the same. Let's find out. Snap Shot Miss The crossbow sailed wide. How do you miss something that big? I allowed myself a moment to shake my head in disdain at my own ineptitude. Why did I have to aim for the eye? Why not go for the huge body? Because it was badass, that's why. I flipped gladys and the crossbow. Maybe my fair lady could make more of an impression. Or at least a few depressions. Shotgun hit. Damage with Sneak attack and the ward +2 = 21. Damage rolls hate me. The shotgun struck home, sending dust and pebbles scattering everywhere. However, the monster didn't look that impressed. So I decided not to look very happy, just to spite him. I mumbled under my breath as I wandered down the hall, something about how whatever god it was that was mad at me for using their name wrong, or urinating on their temple, or any other number of things I probably did when I was drunk and/or really drunk, could back off. I got the message. I retrieved my hat, dusted it off, put it back on and looked back towards where the battle was raging on. I thought for a moment about how this was getting ridiculous. But then I thought again. No. Not ridiculous. "This is getting stupid." Snap Shot spent. Dragon FP spent, must reload. All weapon swaps done via armor power. Total damage = 14 for power + 5 for sneak attack + 2 for that ward thing = 21 Move to E-5 What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD. |
Charge to E-1, Goring Charge on gargoyle (8+ to hit) Damage 1D8+1D6+7+2=19 damage and gargoyle is knocked prone Shift to F0 using boots power The heavy impact knocked the monster to the floor, the momentum carrying the barbarian across the body of his foe. Once more the minotaur spun mid-stride before delivering a powerful uppercut to the prone form of the gargoyle with the flat of his axe. Action point! Brutal Slam on gargoyle (11+ to hit plus whatever bonus you get for hitting prone people, +2 combat advantage?) Damage 2D12+7+2+5=23 damage, gargoyle is pushed 2 squares north (into the pit) and is even more prone The minotaur finished his strike with a smooth follow-through, ending in a picture-book pose with his axe flat across his back. He uttered a throaty war cry. "FORE!" Jam it back in, in the dark. ![]() ![]()
Last edited by Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss; Oct 31, 2010 at 04:58 PM.
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Move action - shift to G1 Standard action - Biting Swarn Miss The gargoyle was on to him now. It deftly evaded the magical spear before turning to give Garold an extremely smug look. Too bad it didn't see that minotaur coming down the side passage. There's nowhere I can't reach. |
Uxig scrambles around being generally useless, but the minotaur at least seems to find him amusing. Gra-fa-zut smirks confidently as the Gargoyle slams into the floor next to him. In a single graceful turn, his blade rips through the Gargoyle's body; the steel transmuting to a deadly energy that passes effortlessly through the stone. Almost at once, the gargoyle begins to rot from within; the stone carapace falls off in flakes as it moves. Alas, the gargoyle is ready for the bees this time. Garold will have to think of something else. Maybe wasps. Maybe hornets. There were many possibilities. Sam's crossbow bolt just snaps in two as it hits the gargoyle's stony hide. The situation called for heavier munitions. Gladys' report was deafening in the stone corridors, but the pistol had bored a smooth hole clean through the damned thing's torso; he could see the shifter through the exit wound, clutching at his sensitive lupine ears. Still the gargoyle barely seemed to notice that it had a hole in it. No one knew why Beefi wore a horned helmet atop his already considerable horns, but no one could argue with the results; with a few quick motions, the gargoyle was sprawled on the floor and then, just as suddenly, sprawled at the bottom of a pit. It leaps out almost immediately, its horrible shrieks only intensifying, but their attacks seemed to finally be having an effect. Whatever magic animated the gargoyle was breaking down; the thing was less a living statue and more of an unsteady collection of fragments at this point. Not that this made it less dangerous. It tears into Gra-fa-zut with a fury, and the swordmage is hard-pressed to deflect the ragged claws flying at him from all sides. Chanic, how do you get 5 damage out of 1d8+6? Giving you 7 on that one. Gargoyle OA on Uxig as he leaves F-1: 11 damage Sam doesn't get the +2 damage from the rune for reasons I explained elsewhere. And neither does Beefi, in either case. Gargoyle bloodied by Brutal Slam. 33 damage to Gargoyle from the fall onto spikes Gargoyle's turn: Move action to un-prone, move action to jump out of the pit, Action Point! Mauling Claws vs Gra-fa-zut: 22 damage. ![]() This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Nov 1, 2010 at 04:05 AM.
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shift to H0 Flames of purity on gargoyle close blast 3 catching everyone but sam and possibly gra fa zut depending on how that corner effects it. +3 damage to all allies in blast. flame of purity exhausted for encounter. Ok apparently not so much but at least setting my allies on fire seems to have properly motivated them to end this quickly. Actually screw that I will not be made useless in this way. I let out my mightiest most terrifying scream and CHARRRGGGGGGEE!
ACTION POINT Howling strike 19+11+1=31 HIT about goddamn time 4+4+8 +2 for rune of mending +3 for being hit in previous turn as per my runic artistry +2 hammer daily power expended=23 I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
Booming Blade 15 + 11 = 26 > 23 HIT / 7 + 6 = 13 DMG Ready Firepulse for rest of encounter How ya doing, buddy? It was lunchtime at Wagstaff.
Touching butts had been banned by the evil Headmaster Frond. Suddenly, Tina Belcher appeared in the doorway. She knew what she had to do. She touched Jimmy Jr's butt and changed the world. |
Stampede Shot - encounter power spent. 11 + 13 vs. Fort. Hit! 1 + 1 + 9 = 11 damage. Gargoyle is pushed 4 squares (or rather 2 until it falls into the pit due to lack of floor) As Garold threw his spear (and thought about grilled meats) nature spirits once again swirled throughout the hallway before aligning to follow his throw then coalescing into three spectral bison. The shimmering translucent beasts charged straight through Slim and Beefi without causing any harm, then lowered their heavy heads and slammed into the gargoyle, sliding it back into the pit once again. The bison then followed it in, running straight over the edge like lemmings before vanishing as they fell. What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
Er, charge attack I guess, not sure if there are any official rules for 30ft elbow drops. In years to come, when artists painted great works to honour the epic battles of the minotaur Beefi Kertanz, for some unknown reason he would froever be depicted in this moment wearing tight, spandex shorts. FELIPE NO ![]() ![]()
Last edited by Fluffykitten McGrundlepuss; Nov 1, 2010 at 05:34 PM.
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I dropped the powder and picked it up, slowly wandering closer to the corner to get a better view of the carnage. Reload Superior Crossbow Stow and pull Dragon FP as per armour power Fail to reload Dragon FP Saunter to F-2 What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? ![]() John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD. |
With a thunderous crash, Beefi smashes into the battered stone beast with all his weight. With a last horrible screech, the monster crumbles into rubble. It is silent at last. Beefi notices a leather collar slip off the ruined heap that was the gargoyle's neck, studded with blue quartz. Perhaps more importantly, he's at the bottom of a pit. Victory! 1,750 XP (350 each). Jam it back in, in the dark.
Last edited by The unmovable stubborn; Nov 2, 2010 at 06:43 PM.
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His opponent vanquished, the minotaur looked around for more fresh meat to slay but seeing he was alone in the pit, he uttered one further bestial cry before promptly fainting, slumping safely against the pit wall.
I shook my head, hoping to clear my vision as I groggily came round. I must have had another of my turns and by the looks of things, managed to fall into the pit in the process. Wincing in pain from the large gashes in my arm, I called out to my companions, hoping to hide the embarrassment in my voice. "Er, hello up there, chaps? Anyone there? I, er, well, I, um, seem to have fallen into this beastly hole, heh heh. I don't suppose one of you gentlemen would mind awfully securing the other end of this to something while I climb out?" I tossed one end of my chain and grapple up out of the pit and waited for the sound of someone fixing it to something solid. While I was waiting, I pondered at how quite so much masonry had ended up in the pit with me, I was pretty sure it wasn't here before. My eyes, caught a scrap of material with what looked like a gem attached to it so I picked it up. The blue quartz set off some nagging reminder in the back of my head but still a little unsteady from my fall I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. There's nowhere I can't reach. ![]() ![]() |
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dungeons and dragons, furious five, howard the goose, it keeps happening, lava, poetry, skulls |
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