[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

2 Dice Rolls lookin at stuff

Garold had scoured the pit with his keen eyes, but it was just a pit. Sigh. At least he had struck a blow against bad poetry by sending some of the red tiles to a spike-filled final resting place below. And even if he wasn't making any progress on discovering the secrets of this tomb, breaking some asshole necromancer's stuff was still satisfying in its own right.

He considered smashing open some more pits, but realized he had no idea which ones might be "fortuitous," and smashing them all would create a considerable navigational hazard. If he was going to survive this he certainly didn't need any more allies hurling themselves headfirst into deathtraps. Instead he decided to put his canine senses to use by scouting what was beyond the gem-laden archway.

Move to V3.
Take a look through archway.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Sam peers down passage, looking for traps as he edges towards the door, listening for any sort of indicative sound.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The halfling seemed the most experienced of our motley crew and I figured that if I followed his lead, the others might not realise how out of my depth I was here. I followed him down the corridor as stealthily as I could.

Most amazing jew boots

1 Die Roll eyeballin

This room is played out man like for real. Time to shake things up. Provided Garold hasn't just brought down hell on his own head I take a quick look around to see if there's anything amiss and boldly stride forward and burst through the door like the Instant Grog Mix Troll.

OH YEAH!! COME GET SOME YOU DEAD POET CUNT

Percept 18+2 plus an additional 2 if it's a trap

I was speaking idiomatically.

11 Dice Rolls *claw 4 damage

Try as he might, Garold could not see anything through the archway. The white mists were just too thick.

Sam crept up on the doorway as stealthily as he could. He detected a strange sound on the other side — a scraping, as though of stone against stone.

Throwing caution to the wind, the kobold rushes past him, kicking in the door. There's a huge goddamn gargoyle inside, sitting on a dais. It seems kind of upset. There are broken chunks of stone scattered all around the dais; the little stone fragments are twitching. Seeing as Beefi and Sam are operating by the radius of his torchlight, Slim is the only one who actually sees the gargoyle.

Then it starts shrieking. That should clue them in. It leaps from its dais, flying through the doorway and easily passing over Uxig's head. It lashes out in all directions with its four clawed arms; Uxig and Sam manage to duck the assault, but the minotaur isn't so lucky. Two of the gargoyle's stone claws tear into Beefi's face and chest, sending great spurts of blood spraying onto the walls.

Gargoyle Defenses: AC 23, Fort 23, Ref 22, Will 20

Flying Strike!
Claw 1: Miss
Claw 2: Miss
Claw 3: Crit! 18 damage to Beefi, and 5 ongoing damage.
Claw 4: 13 damage to Beefi.

Uxig 24, Gra-fa-zut 21, Garold 18, Sam 12, Beefi 9, Gargoyle 32

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls midgety menace

It appears that instant grog does not delight gargoyles in the way that is does other sentient creatures of all ages. Oh well we have ways of dealing with the culturally ignorant. Aiming right for the tail stone I crack him with my hammer.

Word of Exchange miss

Hey hey hey there fella I don't think you want to do it this way. I mean we are literally as a group unqualified to do anything except murder things viciously and you're looking a lot like a hooker that no one will miss in a dark alley right now. A large beclawed hooker that could stand to moisturize a bit mind you but it takes all kinds. Just saying

intimidate not so much

I look and see that two of our group are nowhere around and aim to fix that problem.

OI!!! FLUFFY AND FLAMY STOP PLAYING GRAB ASS AND GET OVER HERE!

FELIPE NO

Well, judging by the screams and shouts coming from the freshly opened corridor, we weren't following the red tiles anymore. I broke into a run, trying to get there as quickly as possible.

Minor and Major to Move; end movement at F-1

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

5 Dice Rolls *Extra damage

The gargoyle rushed into the corridor, raking the minotaur with it's claws before the barbarian had a chance to react. As deep wounds were rent in his flesh, the minotaurs eyes rolled back into his head and he let out a hideous, bestial cry.

MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The minotaur pirouetted on the spot, swinging his massive axe at the head of his adversary before flowing gracefully into a mighty overhead strike, the cow-man's muscles honed from years of cleaving through his enemies.

The first swing carved a huge chunk from the gargoyle and the second did barely less injury to the fell creature, buying his team some time to re-group to finish off the impudent creature that had dared to assault the rightly feared barbarian, slayer of armies and vanquisher of myriad foes far bigger and uglier than this whelp.

The minotaur snorted noisily, staring at the gargoyle with maddened eyes, daring the thing to try and hit him again

Immediate action - Curtain of Steel (11+ to hit)
On Beefi's turn - Avalanche strike (11+ to hit)

CoS - 37 damage
AS - 29 damage
Extra damage from Sam - 5 damage
Total = 71 damage

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls damage

A cacophony erupted from the hidden passageway, ending with Uxig yelling for support. Garold turned from the doorway of impenetrable mist to see the genasi running full tilt down the hallway, and decided to follow suit.

Standard action - run
Move action - run
End turn at F2.

Oh my, that was a very pissed off looking Gargoyle. Probably best to focus its rage on something besides the party.

Spend Action Point
Standard Action - Biting Swarm

The magically charged spear finds its mark and explodes into a cloud of irritated bees. They waste no time swarming over the gargoyle, pissing it off even more, but also distracting it.

8 damage
Gargoyle has -2 to attack rolls until the start of Garold's next turn.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

4 Dice Rolls *Sneak attack

It was more guts than sense that saved me. When that damned fool splintered the door, I'd ducked my head, using the brim of my hat to shield my eyes from the splintering wood. Even before I heard the shriek, something deep inside told me hell was coming my way. Call it a lifetime of experience with things trying to rip your face apart, and only half of them being dames. Point was, I ducked. The stone claw caught my hat, tossing it down the hallway. Sure, I was happy my head wasn't attached, but mostly I was just mad about my hat.

I admit, normally I'm quicker on he uptake than this, but let's see you not get a little slackjawed when a giant cow screams in agony. I didn't know the fella, but he certainly didn't deserve that sort of pain. Well maybe he did, but at the moment he wasn't trying to kill me, and the big stone monster was.

Hot red blood splattered my face. Suddenly I wanted a nice beef stroganoff. More than that, though, I wanted this thing the hell away from me. We could stop by a steakhouse later. I glanced at the cow. Most of us could stop by a steakhouse later. Gritting my teeth, I caught eyes with Clementine the Cow just long enough to make sure he understood the idiotic plan I'd just concocted. I was going to play distraction to a giant stone monster.

This was not the dumbest thing I'd done today.

I felt this is something I should meditate on. And I would. If we survived this.

I darted forward, my blade lashing out angrily at the legs of the monster.

I felt the steel catch air, and sharply changed my trajectory, spinning away from another lashing claw and looking to drive my blade deep into the creature's gut.

Opening Move hits. Damage with Sneak Attack = 20.

I felt the blade catch flesh, and used it to spin myself away. It wasn't as good a strike as I'd hoped. A bee sting to a bear. The situation called for some profanity, so I used some. My momentum put me back or less where I'd started from, but in a more defensive posture. I just hoped I'd opened up the chance for the bovine to do some extra damage.

Sneak in the Attack to Shin. (SHIN. ROLL ANOTHER 2d6 FOR YOUR DAMAGE.) Encounter spent.
Low Slash. Miss. Encounter Spent.
Opening Move hits. 4 damage. 9 sneak attack. Encounter spent.

Final Adjustments:
Shin needs to roll 2d6 extra damage.
Gargoyle takes 20, the easy way.
Sam gets +5 to AC and Reflex until the end of his next turn.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

6 Dice Rolls claw 4 (vs gra-fa-zut)

Though the Freeport irregulars harried the gargoyle with many a cracked limb, it seemed that none of the wounds truly bothered it. How could you even tell whether you were wounding such a creature? Only the swarm of stinging bees unleashed from Garold's arrow seem to slow the monster down a bit. Though the gargoyle had been issuing a series of incomprehensible screeches since Slim broke down that door, the beast's shrill, echoing screams seem, for an odd moment, to form comprehensible words.

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If it indeed had the gift of language, it seemed no more inclined than before to back down in the face of Uxig's threatening words. Enraged, the gargoyle's mighty leap carries it directly to Garold; it favors him with a single vicious swat from a stone claw, as though in warning.

Beginning of Beefi's turn: 5 damage to Beefi
Beefi makes his save vs ongoing
Mauling Claws:
Claw 1: 16 damage to Garold
Claws 2, 3, 4 miss.

Uxig 24, Gra-fa-zut 21, Garold 18, Sam 12, Beefi 9, Gargoyle 32

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls healin

Hey this bastard can't just run away from me like that. I am a Kobold of high standing within this community and refuse to be ignored. As soon as I get out of here I will immediately put up posters telling of this to warn the masses.

My opponent Ward T. Gargoyle votes in favor of unlicensed cattle slaughter in unsanitary conditions and fears vertically challenged Saurian humanoids. Can you trust a creature like this to represent you in your local tombs and mausoleums?

More immediately I run at the beast sliding under the genasi's legs and ending up to the south of the gargoyle. I Swing with my pushiest blow but again whiff. Oh well fuck it I can still keep our walking emergency food supply alive so we don't have to field dress it and drag it through the whole dungeon.


Run to g0, Brutal slam on gargoyle miss for fucks sake Rune of Mending using rune of destruction to Beefi granting use of a healing surge +3hp and +2 damage to everyone til the end of my next turn.

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll quarter circle forward, punch

Immediate Interrupt!

One thing that Garold had learned from previous battles was that no one liked having magical angry bees thrown at them, ever. As such, when he heard what sounded like speech from the angry stone monster, his thoughts went something like this:

Did that thing just talk? If it's smart enough to speak then it must be smart enough to know that I'm the one who...

And that's when its claws ripped a gash across his chest. Who knew a fixture weighing a few tons would be able to move so fast when given life? Fortunately, having so much practice dodging the attacks of furious bee-covered opponents let him duck the second set of claws, while simultaneously calling upon nature spirits to retaliate. They swirled about him, but then focused as he curled his fingers and joined his wrists. Finally, he yelled the primal words of power "Hahh doo khenn!" and directed the spirits into the gargoyle's abdomen. It was a fierce hit, and the impact caused the creature to slide back.

Spirit's Rebuke. Encounter power spent.
5 damage to Gargoyle.
Push Gargoyle 1 square north.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls *Yay damage

If there was one thing these creatures never quite understood it was that you should NEVER get near a swordmage... make him come to you. As the beast screamed ... something, I don't know, I slammed my aegis over him, following through with a slash of my blade. I muttered some words as I hit the thing, sending blackness into its body.

Aegis of Assault on gargoyle.
Enervating Slash on gargoyle. 15 +11 = 26 > 23 HIT / 11 + 6 = 17 Damage

FELIPE NO

4 Dice Rolls *fucking dmg rolls

This beast was going to need a bit of the hard touch. I'd fought stone before, but this rock seemed to be especially difficult to bring down. Snapping my rapier back into its scabbard, I flipped the crossbow to my shootin' hand and pulled Gladys with the other. It was nice to know there was at least one dame in this world you could rely on. She may not be a looker, but she was one hell of a dance partner.

I saw my new friend knock the gargoyle back towards the pit. I wasn't sure what exactly a short fall would do to a creature that could fly, but hell. He was new, and I didn't have any better ideas. So I decided to help by stealing the creature's attention. I decided the thing that could always pull my attention away from things, a good book, a nice drink, was being shot. Maybe he was the same. Let's find out.

Snap Shot Miss

The crossbow sailed wide. How do you miss something that big? I allowed myself a moment to shake my head in disdain at my own ineptitude. Why did I have to aim for the eye? Why not go for the huge body? Because it was badass, that's why. I flipped gladys and the crossbow. Maybe my fair lady could make more of an impression. Or at least a few depressions.

Shotgun hit. Damage with Sneak attack and the ward +2 = 21. Damage rolls hate me.

The shotgun struck home, sending dust and pebbles scattering everywhere. However, the monster didn't look that impressed. So I decided not to look very happy, just to spite him. I mumbled under my breath as I wandered down the hall, something about how whatever god it was that was mad at me for using their name wrong, or urinating on their temple, or any other number of things I probably did when I was drunk and/or really drunk, could back off. I got the message. I retrieved my hat, dusted it off, put it back on and looked back towards where the battle was raging on. I thought for a moment about how this was getting ridiculous. But then I thought again. No. Not ridiculous.

"This is getting stupid."


Snap Shot spent.
Dragon FP spent, must reload.
All weapon swaps done via armor power.
Total damage = 14 for power + 5 for sneak attack + 2 for that ward thing = 21
Move to E-5

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

5 Dice Rolls *Slam damage

Not for the first time, the minotaur's enemy was trying to escape his wrath. Not for the first time, the mighty warrior lowered his head and charged after his quarry.

Charge to E-1, Goring Charge on gargoyle (8+ to hit)
Damage 1D8+1D6+7+2=19 damage and gargoyle is knocked prone
Shift to F0 using boots power

The heavy impact knocked the monster to the floor, the momentum carrying the barbarian across the body of his foe. Once more the minotaur spun mid-stride before delivering a powerful uppercut to the prone form of the gargoyle with the flat of his axe.

Action point! Brutal Slam on gargoyle (11+ to hit plus whatever bonus you get for hitting prone people, +2 combat advantage?)
Damage 2D12+7+2+5=23 damage, gargoyle is pushed 2 squares north (into the pit) and is even more prone

The minotaur finished his strike with a smooth follow-through, ending in a picture-book pose with his axe flat across his back. He uttered a throaty war cry.

"FORE!"

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll Unlimited Bee Works

Things were going fairly well for Garold now. He'd managed to get the big ugly out of his face, and his allies were coming to provide bodies to hide behind support. The spirit bees had dissipated though, leaving the gargoyle looking rather relieved. He'd have to do something about that.

Move action - shift to G1
Standard action - Biting Swarn

Miss

The gargoyle was on to him now. It deftly evaded the magical spear before turning to give Garold an extremely smug look. Too bad it didn't see that minotaur coming down the side passage.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

14 Dice Rolls save vs enervation

As the huge gargoyle thumps down next to him, Garold's reaction is one of panic rather than of careful planning — but it works just as well. With a shout, primal spirits shove the beast away from him.

Uxig scrambles around being generally useless, but the minotaur at least seems to find him amusing.

Gra-fa-zut smirks confidently as the Gargoyle slams into the floor next to him. In a single graceful turn, his blade rips through the Gargoyle's body; the steel transmuting to a deadly energy that passes effortlessly through the stone. Almost at once, the gargoyle begins to rot from within; the stone carapace falls off in flakes as it moves.

Alas, the gargoyle is ready for the bees this time. Garold will have to think of something else. Maybe wasps. Maybe hornets. There were many possibilities.

Sam's crossbow bolt just snaps in two as it hits the gargoyle's stony hide. The situation called for heavier munitions. Gladys' report was deafening in the stone corridors, but the pistol had bored a smooth hole clean through the damned thing's torso; he could see the shifter through the exit wound, clutching at his sensitive lupine ears. Still the gargoyle barely seemed to notice that it had a hole in it.

No one knew why Beefi wore a horned helmet atop his already considerable horns, but no one could argue with the results; with a few quick motions, the gargoyle was sprawled on the floor and then, just as suddenly, sprawled at the bottom of a pit.

It leaps out almost immediately, its horrible shrieks only intensifying, but their attacks seemed to finally be having an effect. Whatever magic animated the gargoyle was breaking down; the thing was less a living statue and more of an unsteady collection of fragments at this point. Not that this made it less dangerous. It tears into Gra-fa-zut with a fury, and the swordmage is hard-pressed to deflect the ragged claws flying at him from all sides.


Chanic, how do you get 5 damage out of 1d8+6? Giving you 7 on that one.
Gargoyle OA on Uxig as he leaves F-1: 11 damage
Sam doesn't get the +2 damage from the rune for reasons I explained elsewhere.
And neither does Beefi, in either case. Gargoyle bloodied by Brutal Slam.
33 damage to Gargoyle from the fall onto spikes
Gargoyle's turn: Move action to un-prone, move action to jump out of the pit, Action Point! Mauling Claws vs Gra-fa-zut: 22 damage.

Uxig 24, Gra-fa-zut 21, Garold 18, Sam 12, Beefi 9, Gargoyle 32

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

4 Dice Rolls howlin

Clearly my hammer is defective. I poke it suspiciously and make it clear that Mr. Smashy and I will have words when this is all done with. Time to try the less direct approach. Stone burns right?

shift to H0

Flames of purity on gargoyle close blast 3 catching everyone but sam and possibly gra fa zut depending on how that corner effects it. +3 damage to all allies in blast. flame of purity exhausted for encounter.

Ok apparently not so much but at least setting my allies on fire seems to have properly motivated them to end this quickly. Actually screw that I will not be made useless in this way. I let out my mightiest most terrifying scream and CHARRRGGGGGGEE!

YouTube Video

ACTION POINT Howling strike 19+11+1=31 HIT

about goddamn time 4+4+8 +2 for rune of mending +3 for being hit in previous turn as per my runic artistry +2 hammer daily power expended=23

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls BOOMSHAKA

That hurt. Yelling, I slashed back at the beastie, sending soundwaves at its stony skin.

Booming Blade 15 + 11 = 26 > 23 HIT / 7 + 6 = 13 DMG
Ready Firepulse for rest of encounter

How ya doing, buddy?

3 Dice Rolls Rawhide!

Ooh, tingly. Garold looked around at his allies immersed in magical flames. He paused while looking at Beefi, and realized he was salivating. Man I could go for some barbecue. Maybe a good burger. Ooh, or a bison burger. Wait a minute, that gave him an idea.

Stampede Shot - encounter power spent.

11 + 13 vs. Fort. Hit!
1 + 1 + 9 = 11 damage.
Gargoyle is pushed 4 squares (or rather 2 until it falls into the pit due to lack of floor)

As Garold threw his spear (and thought about grilled meats) nature spirits once again swirled throughout the hallway before aligning to follow his throw then coalescing into three spectral bison. The shimmering translucent beasts charged straight through Slim and Beefi without causing any harm, then lowered their heavy heads and slammed into the gargoyle, sliding it back into the pit once again. The bison then followed it in, running straight over the edge like lemmings before vanishing as they fell.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

1 Die Roll Roll a dice

Seeing the living statue so easily escape the pit, the minotaur resolved that he would stay down there this time. Setting off at a flat run, he followed his opponent, leaping high in the air when he reached the lip of the pit before twisting in midair and falling, elbow-first after the monster, driving his joint into the monster with his full weight behind it.

Er, charge attack I guess, not sure if there are any official rules for 30ft elbow drops.

In years to come, when artists painted great works to honour the epic battles of the minotaur Beefi Kertanz, for some unknown reason he would froever be depicted in this moment wearing tight, spandex shorts.

FELIPE NO

1 Die Roll RELOAD

I was ready to reload and fire my two-handed crossbow, but as I raised the beast to my shoulder, thought something about wondering if he felt lucky, punk, I saw him disappear out of my sights thanks to Garold. The loud thump made me think he was back in the pit. I shrugged, sighed, set the crossbow on its hip clip, drew my pistol and set about trying to reload the sawed off beast. Which proved more difficult than you might think, what with the image of a cow running infront of the corridor screaming something about Beffamania.

I dropped the powder and picked it up, slowly wandering closer to the corner to get a better view of the carnage.


Reload Superior Crossbow
Stow and pull Dragon FP as per armour power
Fail to reload Dragon FP
Saunter to F-2

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

2 Dice Rolls *FINAL ATOMIC BUSTAAAA

With great fury the irregulars drive the gargoyle back into the pit, only to watch in stunned horror as the minotaur leaps in after it. Truly, Beefimania was running wild on the gargoyle this day, and what recourse could it have?

With a thunderous crash, Beefi smashes into the battered stone beast with all his weight. With a last horrible screech, the monster crumbles into rubble. It is silent at last. Beefi notices a leather collar slip off the ruined heap that was the gargoyle's neck, studded with blue quartz. Perhaps more importantly, he's at the bottom of a pit.

Victory! 1,750 XP (350 each).

Jam it back in, in the dark.

His opponent vanquished, the minotaur looked around for more fresh meat to slay but seeing he was alone in the pit, he uttered one further bestial cry before promptly fainting, slumping safely against the pit wall.

I shook my head, hoping to clear my vision as I groggily came round. I must have had another of my turns and by the looks of things, managed to fall into the pit in the process. Wincing in pain from the large gashes in my arm, I called out to my companions, hoping to hide the embarrassment in my voice.

"Er, hello up there, chaps? Anyone there? I, er, well, I, um, seem to have fallen into this beastly hole, heh heh. I don't suppose one of you gentlemen would mind awfully securing the other end of this to something while I climb out?"

I tossed one end of my chain and grapple up out of the pit and waited for the sound of someone fixing it to something solid. While I was waiting, I pondered at how quite so much masonry had ended up in the pit with me, I was pretty sure it wasn't here before. My eyes, caught a scrap of material with what looked like a gem attached to it so I picked it up. The blue quartz set off some nagging reminder in the back of my head but still a little unsteady from my fall I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.

There's nowhere I can't reach.