[DnD] Let's Cast Magic Missile!

I don't get it. I thought turn undead was supposed to be a super effective skill on zombies. I recall one campaign where I decimated 7 zombies with one use of turn undead. And no my DM wasn't a pushover if you're wondering. He happily killed us when it was possible. And my character was pretty low-level too. The lower levels of the moat house in The Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil if you're wondering.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I spammed the hell out of Turn Undead in Seiken Densetsu 3, if it's any consolation. Mebbe Pang's being, y'know, nice to those of us waiting.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

16 damage and throwing the enemy 20 feet isn't "effective"? I mean, it would have been a lot more effective if she had hit more than two zombies with it but that's not my fault

I was speaking idiomatically.

Hey. Fuck you. Do you want me to be a cruelly efficient killing machine or do you want to involve other players sometime this year?

Additional Spam:
Anyway I was betting that the second wave of zombies would be marching through the door and they didn't.

Additional Spam:
I didn't want any zombies to try to hugbox us or anything ok.

Additional Spam:
Die.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Well, even if nobody dies I was thinking I might go ahead and expand the party to 6 after this adventure since handling Hawkeye along with the 5 of you doesn't seem to be much of an added hassle.

Of course, there's quite a bit of "this adventure" left, so we'll see.

FELIPE NO

That wasn't ominous at all...

Most amazing jew boots

It's not like you don't have at least an hour at a time to handle all of us, either.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

So, if axes don't work, can I pick up and equip a chair?

Would a chair be more effective than grabbing a torch from the wall? How are stats generated for improvised weapons?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

All "improvised weapons" do 1d4 damage. You can't be proficient with them, so no attack roll bonus. Also, a thrown object has a range of 5/10. Stick with the axe. At least then you have a chance of doing some damage, unless Pang actually has somehow given the zombies immunity to axes.

I'm pretty sure that Ewan is the only one proficient with knives and frying pans, and that was mostly just Pang being random.

Most amazing jew boots

A torch could cause lingering fire damage though, at the very least.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Or, you know, there's a perfectly good longbow lying unused on the floor.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I would think that a dexterityless clown like ol' Soggy is better off hefting blunt instruments than trying to use a weapon he doesn't understand.

What kind of damage would those candies do if Motsognir could toss one into a zombie chest cavity and have Bob shoot an acid arrow nearby? Would leaving them on the ground by a zombie be enough for the acid splash to make an explosion?

How ya doing, buddy?

You know I was just kidding with the axe thing, right.

Right?

2d8 within burst 1 of the candy location seems reasonable. (being exploded is not as bothersome as you might expect when you're already dropping intestines all over the place)

FELIPE NO

A bunch of corruption corpses? O bloody hell.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I actually don't have that zombie handled at all. Help me.

why the fuck can't we hit these things? zombies have some of the lowest ACs in the game

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Well, the Infected template did give them +2 AC but that doesn't really account for all the 1s and 4s you guys are rollin'. Presumably you blew all your luck in that ridiculous first round what with the instant murder crit and all.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Fuckin rad thanks Shin

I'm going to try the fire thing on those corpses so Shin, have my back. The rest of you should try to kill those two bloodied zombies.

Additional Spam:
oh hey Pang, if I'm dazed can I still second chance?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Hey Pang, when an attack says +7 vs. Fortitude, what is that +7 being added on top of?

I was speaking idiomatically.

If it's an attack then it's usually going to be added to a D20, innit?

Originally Posted by a lurker

oh hey Pang, if I'm dazed can I still second chance?

Second chance is a free action so it doesn't count toward the actions-per-turn limit imposed by Dazed. So yeah.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

ah yes, IC

FELIPE NO

Is tossing around exploding candies a standard, minor or free action? Do I have a good enough arm to throw to a specific floor tile?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Dammit, I didn't look at the map closely. I'll have to use my hilbilly blowtorch next round.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by knkwzrd

Is tossing around exploding candies a standard, minor or free action? Do I have a good enough arm to throw to a specific floor tile?

Standard, and... let's say any square within 5. Candy isn't especially aerodynamic.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Hawkeye, you didn't screw up opportunity attack rules, but you can't make a standard action and two move actions in the same turn.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.