The "SEE ME" friends...

I have a couple of my friends that are afflicted badly with the "SEE ME" disease. Everything is about them and only them. It's hard talking to them because all they want to do is talk about themselves.

For instance, one of my friends, all he does is talk to me when he wants me to do something. Every time I talk to him, the conversation revolves solely around him and his little world. The minute I try to interject something about myself or about something else, somehow he snatches the conversation back to himself.

Granted, he wasn't always like this as long as I've known him. It's like he's getting worse and worse. I don't want to be mean to him, but I'm tired of hearing about him all the time and I'm tired of be used for commentaries and tasks.

What have you done about friends like this?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

gukarma ~ I've tried the less-nice approach. My annoyance was very blantant and there was no way it could've been missed. However, being that this guy is consumed with himself (and his appearance), it went in one ear and out the other...

Lee-chan ~ Before I can explain something of that magnitude to him, I think I should find out if I'm considered his friend vs. his comment box. Isn't that more important? That way, if he considers me more of a comment box, then I do something else. But the question is, what else can I do?

Winter Storm ~ Hey there! Somehow I don't think you're as bad as he is. He now earns the title of obnoxious. I've never met someone who CONSTANTLY controls EVERY conversation the way he does. It's just...unreal. Sometimes I wonder if he realizes there's a world around him filled with other people. I've tried to tell him about his behavior, but somehow the conversation gets off topic and back onto him and what he wants to talk about (himself). I really don't know how else to get his attention...

Delorean ~ Nobody is as bad as he is. Should I get one of my other friends to speak to him? Is that what you're telling me?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Hahaha, that sounds like a winner! Now I gotta introduce him to one of my other friends.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

So, writing emails to my friend would be better than actually talking to him? I wish I could try that, but he won't give me his email.

Most amazing jew boots

Lee-chan ~ So, should I ask him point blank? I actually think there is hope for him, that's why I've been tolerating it this long. There was a point in time when all our conversations didn't revolve around him. I'm thinking maybe he has some self-esteem issues. However, if he gets any worse, I'll have no choice but to drop him. But I really don't want to do that because he is a decent person...

ComCrimson ~ When you got rid of your friend, was it the fight that caused it or did you let him know ahead of time and then the fight happened?

Hydra ~ I'm a little iffy on this because he's gotten quite "talkative" lately. Should I have to drop him, I don't want my important business out in public.

Dee ~ I've tried that, I've even tried being rude. In one ear and out the other. I've never met a person like this before. It's weird.

I was speaking idiomatically.

If he has been through something, how can I get him to tell me? He's notorious for shutting down on stuff that bothers him.

How ya doing, buddy?

I'm 27 and he's around my age as well. I've pretty much stopped making myself available to him. It appears to be working. Thanks for the advice, though.

FELIPE NO

Oh no, you're fine! Most people think he's high-school age when I describe his behavior, but no, he's around the same age as me. Well, the good thing is I don't have to hear repetitive about only one subject, him. I can actually listen to my other friends now.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

My friend is like this as well. If other people he knows are around, he'll totally ignore me. It doesn't bother me anymore because I backed off of him. I'm beginning to not care if he ever talks to me again.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Yes, I've already backed off of him. He basically proved mine and your point by not speaking to me the past week or so unless I initiate conversation. If he doesn't say anything the rest of the month, that's fine. If he doesn't say anything the rest of the year, that's even better. More time for me with my other friends!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by FallDragon

I can see how this guy can be irritating, but don't let it bother you too much. I mean it really depends on if you'd like him as a friend or not. He probably has some reason in the past for the way he acts, it's not just to irritate you or others heh. Though, it gets under my skin when people don't initiate conversation with me at least some of the time; I don't want to be the one doing all the work. Seems like he doesn't value a friendship with you very much, so I'd just think of him as an acquaintance.

Yeah, I should drop him down a level, like below everybody else. Acquaintance sounds better than friend. He deserves it.

It doesn't really bother me that he doesn't initiate conversation that much anymore. Usually when he does, it's something about him or what he's doing. It's actually a good thing that he isn't talking to me right now. I really don't care if he sees me as a friend or not anymore. I'm thinking of a very valid reason in my head as to why he even became my friend in the first place. *sigh* Oh well. My other friends are more interesting anyhow.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Darkk Child

Well, It appears that everyone hear has something interesting to say about the matter. I have a question, however. Is his behavior something that is common with everyone that knows him? If not and its just towards you, then perhaps he likes you or thinks you like him. If it is a common complaint then maybe he just finds himself very interesting or doesn't know much about anything else so he only talks about himself.

I'm not sure if this behavior of his is common with everyone else he knows. Nobody has complained to me about it yet. I seriously, no, seriously doubt he likes me. Besides, I've heard the description of the kind of person he likes (over and over) and it isn't me. He really has no reason to think that I would like him, however, if that's the case, I can rectify that part real quick.

Originally Posted by Darkk Child

I don't know why he's advertising himself. Perhaps you should ask him why he talks about himself so much. Start off sweet and easy "You know, I realized something (fill in with you talk about yourself 95% of the time you speak to me- or something similar). Then ask if there is a reason why. You say he's an introvert, though, so you may have to manuever him into giving you the information you are looking for by "asking the right questions." If you are interested in solving the problem the best way to do so is to understand the problem. If you just wish to terminate the problem at all cost then you have the option to cut him off like nappy hair.

It's got me confused as well. Movie stars have a right to advertise themselves because that's what they do. He's none of the sort. I'd ask him if, 1) I could get a word in edge-wise, 2) if he would actually answer the question, and 3) if he ever started talking to me again. I'd say the last time he contacted me on his own was sometime late last month, but the last time I contacted him was either earlier this week or last week. I'm fresh out of "reaching out" energy now.

I can't terminate him just yet. I feel as though this isn't really what he's all about, but more like a show. Kinda like an acceptance thing, I dunno. Only time will tell if he's assumed this role as a permanent one...

Originally Posted by Winter Storm

I was doing this with one friend through e-mail for about 3 years before I stopped. Now I hardly hear from her which is what I always knew would happen once I stopped pulling all of the weight. Infact the last couple of friendships ended because of this. With friends off the net, I've had to do all the calling and never getting return calls. These type of individuals can pass as ghosts - you don't hear from them or see them unless you seek them out.

Very irritating.

That's why people like this only hear from me on holidays, not for no reason at all. If they don't respond back to my holiday message, they only hear from me once a year, that being Christmas. And yes, I do agree it's very irritating. That's why I'm not reaching out to this guy now. I'm quite literally irritated and tired.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?