[DnD] Let's Cast Magic Missile!

I'm gonna try throwing the box off a cliff

I think Zerg will chase it

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quote:

Is there any class similar to a classic Berzerker

You probably want a Barbarian, their whole thing is flying into rages and hitting people nonstop until somebody falls down.

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Zerg's been roleplaying harder than anybody

The role he's playing is basically Ed Gein

But it's a role he is very dedicated to

Additional Spam:
4E IS RIDICULOUS UPDATE:

YOU MAY NOW SUMMON A GELATINOUS CUBE AS A FAMILIAR

GROW HIM TO GIANT SIZE

AND RIDE HIM

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Not normally.

But, since a non-domesticated gelatinous cube will promptly engulf you and melt the flesh from your bones —

I am making an exception for you.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

What self-respecting merchant will sell things that will kill his lucrative customers?

A duergar merchant, such as the one running the trading post in the Seven-Pillared Hall.

Wheels within wheels, my friend. Wheels within wheels.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Just a fair heads up — in the interest of speeding up combat in the future, all enemies will be modified from their stock versions as follows:

Monster HP reduced by 1/3
Monster damage increased by 1 die

For example, the Duergar Scout normally has 48 HP, and does 1d8+4 damage with his crossbow. Under this new houserule, a Duergar Scout will have 32 HP and deal 2d8+4 damage with his crossbow.

This should help to make fights go significantly faster, while preserving (or potentially increasing) the relative lethality of individual combats.

Sorry to change such a major dynamic at this late date but the sheer duration of that last fight was a pretty big indicator that something had to give.

I guess the game is just on hiatus until January, or...

Additional Spam:

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

Also, perchance where is this summoning a familiar thing documented? Is it in PHB3?

I believe familiars were initially documented in Arcane Power.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Eh, minions almost always do a flat amount of damage anyway: there's no dice there to double. A level 1 goblin does 1d6+2; a level 1 goblin minion just does 4.

FELIPE NO

Hilarious as it might be, I'm not sure it would be good for the long-term viability of the game to induce an instant TPK whenever an enemy with an area attack rolled a crit.

How ya doing, buddy?

2d8 has better average damage than 1d12, though (let alone 1d10 which would actually be the next class up), and 2d12 has better averages than 1d20.

Your idea is the opposite of speedier.

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Zerg why do you keep arguing fairness with someone who openly wants to kill you

Additional Spam:
Also adding 33% to every single damage roll on the fly is a pain in the ass

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Yeah, which is why I was nice enough to alert you guys about my new plan to kill you faster.

Fair!

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

1 substitution per level, except as:

You have some useless power/feat that you've never used, never intend to, and didn't ask for (ergo, I put it on your sheet and then you ignored it).

Then you can also swap that shit out in addition to your once-a-level retraining since I don't want people to be saddled with useless crap they had absolutely no say in (which is why you have Spiritual Weapon instead of whatever it was).

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Leaving aside the question of Cal's line of sight (which just barely works, if we assume he's on tiptoe and leaning waaaay over), a more pressing issue is the fact that he's trying to shoot something whose turn comes before his.

Do you think the spined devil in B2 will patiently stay put for you, Zerg.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

By the way, may I request a map of the room we're in?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I actually referred to them as minions over AIM before my turn

FELIPE NO

Acer's readied attack missed, actually. So. Just the one dead minion so far.

YES, ACER TOTALLY KILLED THAT GUY. HOW FOOLISH I WAS TO DENY IT.

The devils aren't really that high up and you'll have to fire down the corridor to get to them, so yeah, standard -2 for ally cover. Out in the open room it'd be different.

(I'm also giving you guys ally cover against the devils if it helps)

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

In retrospect, Zerg's suggestion to immediately panic may have been well-founded.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

Everyone... RETREEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!! Let's lure them to the bridge again! Pang will never know what hit him!

God damn my refusal to metagame

How ya doing, buddy?

It might also have a little something to do with "battle in which we are badly outnumbered? time to THROW MORNINGSTARS AT THEM"

How ya doing, buddy?

I always want to kill one of you all the time, Zerg. The balancing act lies in killing only one or two at a time.

But yeah, I didn't really anticipate how brutal the damage increase would be in the event that I rolled hot, since that never really happens. Taking someone from 95% health to 3 HP in 2 hits wasn't really part of the plan. I figure we'll stick with the 2x die system for the rest of this battle for the sake of simplicity (I'll go ahead and award extra difficulty XP to the survivors I guess) and then there are some other less rapey balance ideas I could try.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

This is me acknowledging that I fucked up

And this is you still pouting about it

I was speaking idiomatically.

on the upside as a warforged you are nearly impossible to kill anyway barring coup de grace dickery

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Yeah I try to make sure everybody has some kind of ranged option so you can do something against flying enemies other than stick your thumb up your ass. Gheth doesn't have a bow because he already has Lance Of Faith.

How ya doing, buddy?

HOUSERULE UPDATE

Player's Handbook, pg. 286

After you spend an action point, you must take a short rest before you can spend another.

This rule no longer applies because it is bullshit.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

expanded map as requested by Zerg over AIM:



Jam it back in, in the dark.