Ever hurt yourself stupidly?

Ha ha, oh WOW. Hurting myself stupidly? I got two moments, one sober, one drunk. Both are equally moronic. Although, my excuse for the sober one? I was young(er) and stupid(er). ...SHADDAP.

Anywho, sober one first:
There's this hill by my place with a sidewalk that has ridges, raises, and cracks in it. The thing looks like an earthquake ripped through it. It's also fairly steep.
This was back in my skateboarding phase. Yeah, you know what's coming.
So, I thought it'd be absolutely brilliant to skate down this thing at full speed. Needless to say, a wheel got caught, and I FLEW. ended up with several gashes and cuts in my legs and face. A few minutes later, my friend comes by and sees me sitting on the steps of a nearby church, skateboard in my lap, bleeding and with the wounds in full view. His reaction? Laughter, of course. Looking back, I'd be laughing, too.

Drunk time! This was a few months back, not that you care. I was into my 5th Screech + coke drink, on webcam with my best friend, who is now in the Canadian military, studying to be an aviation engineer. So, I was fooling around with a piece of paper, and my mic stand was in the way. I had the brilliant idea of putting the paper in my mouth while I drunkenly moved the stand out of my face. So, I left it in my mouth for a while. It stuck there when I closed my mouth, and after opening it and leaving it that way for a while, my lips dried with the paper still stuck there. So, I tried to pull it off lightly, it wouldn't budge. So, I get the dumb idea to just yank it off.
"Hey buddy, watch this."
I sliced open my entire bottom lip. Every time I touched it, it felt like burning hell.
God, I love intoxication.

Jam it back in, in the dark.