Ever hurt yourself stupidly?
 

So Monday night, as I was walking back home from a choir rehearsal, reading a flyer for some upcoming concert, I was brutally introduced with a road sign that stood there. You know, just like in those age-old comic strip gags. I hit my head and my knee against it so hard, at first I just stood there wondering what the fuck had just happened.

It seemed like it was nothing but the next day my knee started hurting like a bitch and I haven't been able to walk normally since. And now my other leg's starting to hurt as well, probably from carrying much more of my own weight than it's used to. I doubt my knee's broken but I'm having it checked out on Monday, it's just plain unbearable at this point.

That's my story. What's yours?

I don't think I've ever hurt myself cleverly.

I thought about that, actually! Let's then settle for "in a particularly stupid way", or "notheworthily ridiculous".

You know, like that one time where you burned your genitalia or something.

ONE time?

I rolled my own arm up in my car's window with no distractions, that I recall. Fucking brilliant.

Power windows? I heard you can make fruit salad with those things.

I knocked a charcoal off the top of my hookah a few months ago.

Picking it up with my bare hands seemed like a good idea at the time.

Do you think before you type? Like... ever?

I was pulling apart my Rockband drumset at the end of christmas vacation and one of the pipes was a bit stuck, so I gave it a good tug and the black plastic foot just came out and wacked me in the face in two places. Surprisingly enough, it bruised and hurt for a few days.

Now I know what it feels like to get hit by a boomerang.

My 2-pin power plug was a little bit splayed out so I pinched it together with my fingers to fit it into the wall socket.

GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

http://image.guim.co.uk/Guardian/art...kobal-3262.jpg

He fixes her cable?

Probably the most stupid thing I've done recently to hurt myself is when I went out riding my bike in the rain. The street was slightly flooded and when I went to ride up onto the sidewalk via a driveway, I underestimated how high up the driveway was from the street. My wheel wasn't turned enough, so the edge of the driveway hit the side of my wheel and sent me out of control. I was being extremely smart in wearing sandals (yes, I know sandals in January in the rain is retarded) so my shoe ended up flying off and I had to catch myself with my bare foot. I didn't fall, but I had to slide to a stop with one shoe and one bare foot, which took a beating.

At a friend's house a couple of years ago, we did a sort of little experiment with about 10 sparklers in a pop can. It was really cool, a bright white flame that burned for a few seconds and then went out. Unfortunately, the guy decided to pick up the pop can after it was finished, not thinking that, you know, maybe the flame heated up the pop can as well? Always good for a laugh, that one.

Well there was this one time in Science class when we were doing an experiment, heating something up using a bunsen, tripod, crucible etc. After the experiment finished, without wasting a minute I started packing things away and picked up the tripod by its top. I was feeling a bit, you know, charred, and when I told the teacher, she told me to put my hand in a beaker of water (not under running water; she wouldn't allow it!). Needless to say the beaker heated up pretty damn quickly and I felt rather faint and odd.

And when I was walking up to the office I came across a dead bird with it's head on backwards. My Science room shenanigans apparently disrupted the natural flow of SCIENCE and PHENOMENA---birds were twisting their necks and dropping out of the sky!

Yeah, it wasn't my proudest moment.

I jumped on top of a smoldering fire right after someone pointed out that it was there because I wasn't paying attention. Had some nice burns for a week or so.

I'm so accident prone and clumsy that it doesn't phase me half the time when I hurt myself. It's almost as if uttering "oww" permanently erases the incident from my memory. I was actually impressed with myself the other day when I remembered how I got a small gash on my knee.

Probably the stupidest way that I've injured myself is when I was stomping on ice at work and hurt my knee (as already mentioned in my journal). I had been fine jumping on it, but then had switched to stomping with one foot to focus the force and did it too hard. The doctor said that what was wrong with my knee (malaligned patella) was more likely to be a result of muscle weakness rather than that incident, but I'm not so convinced.

On second thought, perhaps not the stupidest, but instead could be categorized as the most damage done while doing something without thinking about the consequences.

In a misguided attempt at fixing a jammed stapler, I stapled my thumbs together. It took quite some time to remove the staple with my teeth.

One time I was trying to pull the cap off the end of a pencil (it was some Asian stationery trinket) and it just wouldn't come off. I had to apply much force and, not paying attention to which way the pencil was pointing, ended up stabbing myself in the leg with the tip when the cap came loose.

In an emphatic gesture to a coworker, I moved my hands too quickly and ended up slamming it on a desk and bruising it. =[

My doubly-damaged knee. The first time I did it in I have no idea how it happened, but apparently my outline was left on the floor by my hat, cigs/lighter and slippers. It was starting to get better when I complicated it by slipping on ice outside a pub. It's not been the same since.

The best ridiculous accident I had was kicking a toy to my dog on my particularly slippery kitchen tiles. It was a proper cartoon moment; one leg went flying up into the air and I fell back and smacked my head on the floor. After I got over the panic attack it was pretty damn hilarious; kind of wish someone had caught that on camera.

Christ, when have I NOT injured myself stupidly? Just last night I accidentally burned the tip of my nose trying to smoke a bowl with my roommate. Apparently my depth perception was temporarily turned off.

The worst one was when I broke my foot back in the summer of 2007. I was operating a power jack at the supermarket where I worked, and it was a particularly finicky jack. When I tried to turn it around in a tight spot, the thing freaked out for a bit and shot straight back in reverse over my foot, cracking it quite painfully.

In the winter of 2005 I sprained my ankle twice, both times slipping on the ice like a dick. The second time being the day after I felt I was fully healed from it and was able to walk normally. Wrong.

And I mean seriously, I could probably fill this thread with clumsy dumbfuck accidents I've had.

I was the only person in my high school to wear heelys, and one day I was showing off to a few friends until we stopped to talk for a bit. As we were doing so, one of my teachers walked by, and for some unknown reason I suddenly leaned and fell straight backwards. (until then I had never actually fallen while using them)

I've done that too. I was in a laboratory at the time, and started bleeding on my report. (The staple went through my thumbnails.) Not my proudest moment.

I once picked up a machine gun by the barrel after firing tons of rounds through it. Got me a nice blister on my palm.

Not really a stupid injury, but a good story about not realizing what's going on.

I have a pull-up bar in my room... one of those big metal constructs with the elevated pushup things, and the dip handle things. Well, for space reasons, I have the pushup bars removed, so there are these metal openings, which I put duct tape over for saftey... well, since duct tape doesn't last forever, and I know where they are, I never worried about stubbing my toe.

A few months back, I slammed my little toe against it--just barely grazing the metal. It hurt like hell, but I didn't even look down. So I'm still walking around my room and doing stuff. A few moments later, I look down and see there are these rather large red spots on the carpet... and then I look down to see my toe is gushing blood because the metal grazed off a majority of the skin on my little toe.

So, the moral of this story is, when you injury yourself, check and see if you're intact, or you might be spending 30 minutes cleaning up blood.