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Oct 13, 2008 - 02:47 PM |
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Trying to be strong. |
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I broke up with my latest ex of almost 7 months last week. He's taking this pretty roughly; he thought (and still thinks) that I'm the one for him. I don't; but then again, I don't know who is "the one" yet.
In one of our many talks that we have had, he's told me that I saved him when we first met. He was in a bad state, fairly depressed, almost getting back into the drug scene and who knows what else. He's said that because of me, he's a changed person now, for the better, and will never go back to his old lifestyle. That's a pretty good feeling, right?
Well, he's taking this breakup so hard that he's almost committed suicide. More than once.
I know I can't be held responsible for his actions, and I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to. But I've already kept him from doing things to himself several times since the breakup and I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I've thought about just giving up on it and letting him deal with it himself, even though he doesn't really have anyone to turn to.
But then there's a part of me that knows I can help him through this, and not to give up. I've been able to help him so far, who's to say that I won't be able to help him again? I'm trying to focus on myself for once, but I can't, in a good conscience, let him do anything to hurt himself if I know that I have the power or ability to stop it.
I've thought about getting him into a hospital, but he brought up some good points on why not to: he's already on a fine line of work and paying bills, and he doesn't want all of his stuff to get evicted. And he can't turn to his parents, they're not willing to help him out either. He's been in this situation before from a breakup, and he went into a hospital for a little over a month. I even called his parents about this, because I was worried. His mom said he'd eventually get over it and that she was sorry that I had to deal with this. She also made it seem like she wasn't a good mother or that she did something wrong to cause all of this =/.
I just want to know how far I'm going to have to go with this. I'm not giving up, I refuse to. But there is such a fine line between letting go and giving up...I just wish I knew where that was. This whole situation has been nothing but unnecessary added stress for me. However, like I already mentioned, I'm not going to just walk away if I still have a chance to make a difference.
What to do, what to do...
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