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Jun 1, 2007 - 07:26 PM |
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Worst stuff ever |
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I just had the worst. yogurt. ever.
I bought 10 or so cartons of this new yogurt I found at the grocery store today. The brand is Blue Bunny (cute, huh?) and it comes in all these wonderful flavors like Blackberry Harvest and Strawberry Creme. I eat a cup of yogurt every day and this looked much more interesting than the boring kind I usually get, which is why I went out on a limb and bought so much of it.
Well, when I opened it up I immediately noticed that there was purple liquid floating on the top. My spider senses told me that this was not a good thing, but I checked the expiration date and it's fresh, so I stirred the liquid into it (it turned very lumpy) and boldly tasted a spoonful. That turned out to be a very bad idea, because all joking aside it tasted like what I would imagine rat poison to taste like. Then I noticed that right below the label in very fine print it reads, "No added sugar!" Now, what the hell is that about? Some fool decided to sweeten yogurt with Splenda, which completely flies in the face of what God intended. I mean, it's yogurt, for heaven's sake. It doesn't need to be made any healthier than it already is.
So now what am I going to do with all this yogurt I bought? =(
Also - and this is random - I had a laugh out loud moment in the car on the way to work this morning. One of the local radio stations (the top 40 station that I never listen to except on Friday mornings from 7:45-8:00) does this thing every Friday morning called, appropriately, "The Friday Morning Weekend Blastoff." During the blastoff they play songs from the 80s and 90s that make you want to jump out of your car and dance all the way to work. It's the greatest thing ever. Some examples are songs like "Cherry Pie," "Now That We've Found Love (What Are We Gonna Doooooo....With Iiii-iiiit)", "Cottoneye Joe" and "Cold Hearted Snake." Sometimes they get really crazy and throw in some "Funky Cold Medina" or a little "She's Crafty," when they feel like mixing things up.
So today I'm cruising along singing along to "My Prerogative" when the next song comes on and my joy turns to icky, icky nostalgia. I was transported by the music to a time not so far away (6 years, maybe?) when I used to be a server at Outback Steakhouse. Every year we had these craaaaazy Christmas parties where we would all get dressed up to the nines and pretty much take over whatever dance club we decided to go to. This one particular year I was dancing with the store proprietor, an extremely handsome GQ-looking black man who I will call "Charles" for the sake of the poor guy's anonymity. Now, let me give you a tiny bit of backstory here. There had never been any flirting or sexual banter between us ever, ever, ever. He was my boss and I was his best employee. =) However, as we were dancing I suddenly found myself flattened against a pole on the dance floor with his tongue down my throat. One of my friends from work saw what was happening and literally ran up and dragged me away, which was a good thing since we were both pretty drunk. Needless to say, my next shift was very awkward what with him feeling the need to have a BIG TALK with me about how sorry he was that he had "let that happen" and how I didn't have anything to fear from him. Honestly, in my mind I had already chalked it up to drunkenness, but he sort of made a big deal about it, which in my opinion just made the whole thing that much more awkward.
The hilarious part, though, (and I couldn't tell you why I remember this detail or so many other trivial details about so many things) is that this memorable event took place during THE THONG SONG.
*sigh* Good times. Good times.
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