Mixed Signals?!

My big problem comes from my parents giving me mixed signals.

"You are not helping me with your inepitude. Get out of the way and go serve yourself..."

turns into

"This really pisses me off when you sit down an eat when I've worked my as of all day."

and

"You should learn to drive."

turns into

"No, I won't take you driving, even though an adult is required in the car for you to drive legally."

WHAT THE FUCK. DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME POINT A?! WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING WHY I DO SOMETHING WHEN YOU JUST TOLD ME TO DO IT?

I realize the first one was a hidden invitation for me to be patient and be nice for the family, but I had already extended an invitation, and they turned it down. No good when you explicitly tell me to do something and it's even harder to tell your sarcasm than if you posted the same damn thing on the internet.

Because of mixed signals, I still don't drive even as I approach my second year of college, and I'm deathly afraid of approaching my parents with big news/decisions. I feel like I have to ask them a question or present something at JUST the right time because I have no idea how they'll react at another time.

But enough of my personal angst. Do you get mixed signals from people and how do you deal with them?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I received them all the time. I don't mean to be stereotypical, because I know some awesome girls that understand what I mean, but this is the reason why I love hanging out with the guys more than I do girls. One moment, they'll be smiling at you and thanking your for doing them a favor, then the next moment they'll yell, "YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN I WAS MAD AT YOU!!!" This is why we should have single-room dorms in America, or at least have co-ed dorms on my campus.

I receive them from friends and family, but moreso from female friends and maybe a couple of male friends who will cuddle and invite me to watch an on-line gaming party one day and then tell me that they want to date my friend and ignore me the next. I try to remain calm and if I can get a word in I'll try to tell them that I didn't know. However, from experience with female roommates, it's best just to look solemn and nod and wait for them to calm down. If they don't storm out of the room, just look at them and say calmly, "Well, just tell me EXACTLY what you want me to do and I'll do it. And don't say 'YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN' because I am not a mind reader." It could work with parents, but I haven't tried it.

I mostly try to ignore the mixed signals. I just take a guess at what to do with life and go with it. If it's not to their liking then I either explain what I thought they meant or just try to stay out of their way and do what I can to avoid another yell-fest.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Mixed signals come from mixed feelings.
There is always an explanation, although it might be pretty complicated and psychological. You can try to figure the puzzle out or ignore it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.