The best way to tell someone their fly is open

How can you tell that mankind has reached the pinnacle of our evolutionary development? Because now we can send an anonymous email to someone to alert them that their fly is down. We've moved beyond the need for words or eye contact thanks to NiceCritic.com, which allows you to send pre-written messages anonymously to anyone with an email address.

It's not the slightest bit creepy to get a nameless email saying "Please remember to close your blinds/curtains in the evening." "Please return the personal item you took from me," is sure to get prompt results, and "Please refrain from slapping people's buttocks," is advice everyone can use.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Spoiler:

"Tuck it in, private."

I think the best way is by simply... saying it. Less chance of said person feeling uncomfortable.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I was going to suggest that the best way to tell someone their fly is open would be to send them an email, and "accidentally" CC the entire company.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'd just be blunt and tell them their fly is open, but I'd try not to announce it to the world.

And why would you want to send an anonymous email? If it's anonymous the person wouldn't know who to pay gratitude towards.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Just tell them quietly. If you say other things other people will also know what you mean and the person himself may be confused.

How ya doing, buddy?

Open yours up, use your best ventriloquist skills to make it talk and make it attempt to communicate, they should get the message.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'm going to send an email to every poster above me but Russ:

"Please read the first post in a thread before replying."

FELIPE NO

I think we all read it, we just felt it was too dumb a subject to respond to, so we improvised!

Wait, what was the question?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by nuttyturnip

How can you tell that mankind has reached the pinnacle of our evolutionary development? Because now we can send an anonymous email to someone to alert them that their fly is down. We've moved beyond the need for words or eye contact thanks to NiceCritic.com, which allows you to send pre-written messages anonymously to anyone with an email address.

It's not the slightest bit creepy to get a nameless email saying "Please remember to close your blinds/curtains in the evening." "Please return the personal item you took from me," is sure to get prompt results, and "Please refrain from slapping people's buttocks," is advice everyone can use.

9:04AM. Nuttyturnip sits down in front of his computer and checks his email. He sees the following message:

Quote:

From: anonymous@nicecritic.com
To: nuttyturnip
Subject: You have an anonymous message from a NiceCritic.com member!

Someone sent you an anonymous message. Here's what they said:

You're gay.

"Blast!" he slams his fist down on his desk. "How did you know! HOW DID YOU KNOW" he howls.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

"Hi, I think you should be aware of the fact that you're being stalked.

Signed, your anonymous stalker."

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Way I see it, this is a great way to send anonymous email threats without worrying about any recourse.
Email:
"oh hey I accidentally crashed you car, noticed your email attached to it so I decided to give you a hollar and let you know that I might accidentally do it again. Just giving you a heads up."

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by K_ Takahashi

Open yours up, use your best ventriloquist skills to make it talk and make it attempt to communicate, they should get the message.

You made me choke on my morning coffee, thanks, lol.

The one time I've had to tell someone that it looked like I was way more embarrassed than him.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by K_ Takahashi

Open yours up, use your best ventriloquist skills to make it talk and make it attempt to communicate, they should get the message.

Bahah.

I, myself, usually just reach down and zip it for them. It's totally polite and you get to rub the genitalia of strangers!

If they look displeased with my courtesy, i pretend to have the mentality of a four year old and I'll call the next closest stranger "Mommy."

I was speaking idiomatically.

Some of these snippets of advice are hilarious:

- "That old car has been sitting in front of your house for a very long time." (read: I'm stalking you)
- "You seem to have some food lodged in your teeth." (That food would have to be stuck there for a pretty long time)
- "Someone knows your locker combination." (read: Give me your best bribe and mum's the word.)

I think this would be the kind of thing I would use out of boredom rather than out of genuine concern for subtlety.


As for actually saying "your fly's open", I would just say the old "XYZ" and laugh at them whether they get it or not.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

it's a weird thing, but I just yell out "zipper" a couple of times and I point with my eyes very briefly until they finally realize what I'm trying to tell them

FELIPE NO

Excellent, now I finally have a use for the huge list of school email addresses that I have since professors constantly CC the entire department. "The weight gain really makes you look healthy" is pretty all-purpose.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Telling somebody their fly isn't too bad just say "wooo it must be chilly in here".

Email is just a method of saying your lazy.

Most amazing jew boots

Point and laugh.

Or just say it out right "Your fly is open". Easy!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Tell them no one likes an exhibitionist. If they don't make the connection you can chuckle about it all day.

I'm actually terribly paranoid about this particular subject, I'm very careful when it comes to checking. A fact that was tested when I went to a concert and my best friend got the big screen to text the same message to me.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

"I can see your penis!"

"Your yawning seems to be particularly loud today." Sounds passive aggressive to me.
"Please stop bullying people around." Pussy. Haha.
"Please return the personal item you took from me." Don't know how that one is really all that anonymous.

My favorite "There's a significant stain on your pants."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Your dick is hanging out.

I mean, how hard is it to tell someone their fly is open? Unless you're enjoying the view?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Good god, is this website for real? They've taken the passive-aggressive post-it or whiteboard message and taken it to a terrible, frightening new level.

Whenever I see a "helpful" message written for me that could have just as easily been told to me in person I throw it away/erase it until the person comes to talk to me. That kind of shit will doom us all.

Anyway, as to the subject line of the Thread: I step in front of the person to shield them from anyone else and discretely whisper the fact to them. Anything to avoid further embarrassment for the person involved.

Most amazing jew boots

I tell them that it looks like the wind is blowing east.

FELIPE NO

i wouldve been like "dude your fly is open" and yes lurking is a crime..how bout that for effort eh>?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

You are not winning yourself any points here, bub.

Jam it back in, in the dark.