Mother's Day!

So, it's that time of year again. I got momma a nice blue iPod Nano (she recently expressed interest in one) before I left offshore, but that was an early one for her birthday. Mother's day is May 11th, her birthday on May 19th.

I've found out recently that she's pushing for a big leap in her career. However, it involves working nonstop at workshops and stuff to knock the socks off folks. This is gonna go on for a few weeks, and she's been losing lots of sleep. In addition to this all, I've been unable to call home. I usually call home on Sundays for a little update to let them know all is fine, but I've been unable to until just today (phone shit is ironed out. Limited phone time, but enough). I called up my old man, got caught up on what has gone on for the past few weeks, and I kind of got the vibe that they get stressed out if I don't check in. Neither of 'em are too keen on my job, just so ya'll know. They're counting down the days until I settle in to an office job.

I'm missing her birthday, unfortunately, along with Mother's day, so I decided to get her a real nice bouquet delivered to her (I'm an ol' softie and love my parents. Deal with it ). Hope she does well =o


I kind of made a note on the card to take a picture of the whole thing, since I probably won't see it ='D The one pictured is the medium-quality selection, but I shot for the top-quality bouquet. Curious how it looks.

So, what've you got in store for the lady who brought you in to this world? A card? Something nicer? A shirt saying "FUCK YOU, MOM " along with a burning bag of poo on her doormat? Let's hear it~

Most amazing jew boots

i'm trying to look for a banjo because i learned a couple days ago that my mom used to play it during her childhood, but had to give it up to pursue her studies in College. This was around 30 years ago.

Too bad good-quality banjos are really fucking expensive ='( so i'm still looking for some decent second-hand ones.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Anne Murray concert tickets. My mother's huge into that music, horrible as it is. Apparently Murray is doing one more tour before she kicks the bucket or something, so I bought her those.

There is only one bad thing about this. Buying them is now on my credit history. I'll be going to buy a car some time in the future, and the dealer will do a credit check, and I'll get rejected. "Sir, it appears you bought tickets to an Anne Murray concert sometime in 2008. I'm sorry to inform you of this, but you are too gay to purchase this automobile. Perhaps I can interest you in a Honda Fit?"

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Anne Murray is still singing? =o Good lawd

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yeah, apparently. For all I know, she's already dead. Her corpse has just been reanimated by some necromancer out to make a profit on her music. Wouldn't be hard, her fans are all old bags themselves and probably wouldn't notice if her arm rotted off halfway into the first song.

How ya doing, buddy?

I sent a card off a few days ago, and these should be delivered sometime this weekend.



I'm away at school right now, but when I get home for summer I'm also going to take her shopping.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by David Caruso

Yeah, apparently. For all I know, she's already dead. Her corpse has just been reanimated by some necromancer out to make a profit on her music.

YouTube Video

Sorry but this just popped in to my head ='D Makes me wish I could watch it out here ;__;

FELIPE NO

Got me one of these babies in case my mother rises from the grave and tries to convert me into a soldier of the undead.

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You're more prepared for the possible zombie onslaught than I am, Nutty. I'm just going to hope the free cup of frozen yogurt from TCBY will be enough to appease her reanimated corpse.

I like how nearly half this thread is talk about the undead now.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Tritoch

You're more prepared for the possible zombie onslaught than I am, Nutty. I'm just going to hope the free cup of frozen yogurt from TCBY will be enough to appease her reanimated corpse.

I like how nearly half this thread is talk about the undead now.

Blame it on Skills; He started it.

I just finished shopping for my mom. I'll be sending her gift to her by mail, so it won't arrive until after mother's day. I ended up getting her a mother's day
card and I ended up buying the 3rd season of one of her favourite box sets which is Walker Texas Ranger.

The funny thing is my mom would actually prefer a card more than anything else. I ended up buying her a gift for her on her birthday and I ended up calling her, but she still was dissappointed that she didn't get a card, but oh well at least now I know better.

In honour of mother's day, I remember listening to the irish comedian by the name of Brendon Grace when I was a teen. One part of his comedy act was that he was talking about mother's in Ireland and how they have a great sense of humour. They have a great sense of humour because they would tell their kids to do things that couldn't possibly be done such as:

1.) Come over here and don't move.

2.) Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.

3.) If you fall off that wall and break both your legs don't come running to me.

4.) You three are a nice pair; you never came back last night until this morning; you would of woke everyone up only they were asleep; if you's about to stay here you better get out.

It would probably be more funny if you heard it, but oh well.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The benefits of working at a high-end florist are few and far between, but Mother's Day almost made it all worth it. I could give my mom a far-too expensive arrangement without blowing all I have. That's an arrangement that leaves both of us satisfied.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'ma get my mother one of those fancy wall clocks what tells the time in non-circular letters. You know, the type you can see at night and what scares the hell out of the dog, thinkin' it's some kind of vampiro or what. I'ma gonna shoot that dog one of these here days.

Mother's really excited about Mother's Day. Can't wait for her new clock. It's all she's been talkin' bout, all day long. "Did you get me that clock yet?" "I noticed you done went out without me again. Maybe you went to buy me that clock I been wantin'." "I sure hope ain't nobody forgot Mother's Day because if I didn't get that clock, I just don't know what I'd do."

I can tells she's wantin' that clock pretty bad. Mother's been dead for comin' up on four years. But she just won't stop talkin' 'bout her new clock.

It's gonna be reeeeaal nice.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My mother wants that Sweeney Todd DVD she is raving for. Got it and hopes she`ll appreciate.

I was speaking idiomatically.

This is actually the first year I'm going to be giving her real flowers for Mother's Day. A few years ago, I made a lot of origami tulips (shut up, I can't make roses yet) and put them on pipe cleaner wire with florist tape. She really liked it, but it took WAY too fuckin' long.

Got her a flower arrangement online, and hopefully it should arrive at the store tomorrow. I also got my friend's mom some flowers too, 'cause she's been like a mom to me as well <3

I'm also givin' her and my dad $100 each, but I'm not really countin' it as a gift.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Oddly in line with this conversation, I got my mom a T from threadless like, MONTHS ago in line for Mother's Day, because I sent her Dawn of the Dead and Army of Darkness for her birthday, as she's newly arrived to loving zombie flicks.

So I got her a shirt with this on it:



My mom <3's shotgun zombies.

FELIPE NO

I'll cook my mum breakfast, then as an added present I'll call an ambulance for her five minutes later.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Walk to corner florist, exchange dollerz for flowahs, buy choccie somewhere else. The brother and I full well know it's not really special, as flowers are a standard and we help polish off the chocolate. But if she wants a cuppa, we make it our job.

Parents' days are really just Guilt Neutralisation days.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'm planning on just throwing my spare change at her. "BUY WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THIS YOU CRAZY WOMAN" to which she will reply with

Flowers for mummy~ <3

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Muzza

I'm planning on just throwing my spare change at her. "BUY WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THIS YOU CRAZY WOMAN" to which she will reply with

Flowers for mummy~ <3

LOL. I'm planning to do the same, but my half paycheck is going to her. She told me not to get her gifts..or anything..and just give her cash.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

My sisters and I usually take her out to her choice of restaurant, and I throw in a gift certificate to her salon so she can her hair cut, dyed, and styled. Unless there's something specific she's asked for, then I add that in there too.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My mom isn't that big on getting "stuff" for Mother's Day, so my dad and I are signing a card and giving her a box of Turtles chocolates. Nice and simple (and inexpensive, to boot!).

I was speaking idiomatically.

A Mother's Day card and a Best Buy gift card. I figure she can pick out a music CD or a DVD that way. I usually get her a gift card for a arts and crafts shop but I decided to change things up. She's hard to shop for since all she really likes is gardening, arts, and crafts. She also never really says what she wants so it's easier to just let her pick things out herself.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

She's getting a phone call. With a little luck it'll be from jail.

How ya doing, buddy?

I'm writing my mom a letter and getting her one of those oversize bags with my university logo on it. Also the family is going out for lunch.

Too bad I have finals starting on Monday. Better start studying now.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

We're taking her to eat at her favorite restaurant: The Gateway. My mom doesn't even like half of the food that my friend Glenn serves at his restaurant, she just likes sitting on the balcony by the river while she's eating because she's like that. We, in typical Three Rivers fashion, will be trashed in her honor.

Jam it back in, in the dark.