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Knowing when someone loves you?
closed
How ya doing, buddy?
Last edited by Dee; Oct 5, 2008 at 03:21 PM.
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![]() Member 1774 ![]() Level 17.65 ![]() Mar 2006 ![]() |
Sounds like he's comfortable with how things are now and the prospect of commitment is daunting. It hurts to know that they won't reciprocate the feelings you produce but you have to get your priorities in order, otherwise you're going to keep investing all your emotions into someone who won't give it back. At least, not to the extent that you're holding out for.
I figure at this point you've had your fair share of experience, so I'm sure you know what you want. Don't settle. There's nowhere I can't reach. |
Some people take a long time to know that they love someone. I'm one of those - it takes me months before I know.
That said, since you guys are graduating and perhaps parting ways after that, why not wait and see to see if he changes his mind? If it doesn't, and you go separate ways after graduation, then you can just let the relationship come to a natural end and move on. Of course, I understand that if you do decide to hold on for a few months, it's going to be really hard on you because those months are likely to be filled with hurt and frustration. Take those few months to ask yourself if the happiness given to you by the good parts of the relationship is enough to outweigh your hurt. I'd also suggest going to your boyfriend with your feelings and seeing if he's willing to address them or acknowledge them. If he just brushes them aside - well, that's not a good sign of things to come, and in the long-term. This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. ![]() |
I'm going with Stop Sign, do give him a chance. And please, don't force it out of him or give him any ultimatums (even a sense of it). It'd just make it worse. Just be who you are as why he dated you and maybe he'll come to realize that when graduation comes. But at least at the end you'll respect his priorities more.
And personally, I'd go for a year, than 6 months. Seeing the person in all seasons (including the holidays) does wonders. I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
Depends on the person, really. I mean, is this a person who does take a long time to figure their mind out? Or would they come to this post and cry "BULLSHIT it dont take more than a few minuites to see love fag."
Really, the internet can't help this one much. We aren't you, and aren't him. If it's really bothering you, just go and ask him again, and talk about it. If he doesn't want to talk about it, you have your answer. Most amazing jew boots
It turns out that today is opposite day, so all of what you have said is true, so you should probably just go.
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Knowing that your respective futures are very much uncertain, I completely understand why he's reluctant to make a long-term commitment. The job market is capricious; who knows where you'll each end up? To strengthen the relationship bonds now would only tie him to a potential long-distance relationship, something he's very likely not excited about.
After six months, he still likes you. There are far worse situations in which you could be. People come and go, no matter how fond we are of their presence. You have a college graduation to be concerned with. Get yourself a good job, a decent place to live. If he's still around, worry about his commitment then. What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
I'm going with basically what Stop Sign, Meia and Crash said.
Cherish what you have now, have fun with it while you have it. Keep in mind that you did your best to keep the better memories than the bitterness that would have risen had you focused too much on his commitment level. You never know, he might change his mind. Sometimes environmental/personal/circumstantial changes can do wonders or horrific strains on the relationship. You're still young enough that you should focus on yourself more, Dee. Relying on a relationship to define your persona can come way, way later. FELIPE NO |
A few things I wanted to add:
Enjoy college. Seriously, you only get it once, along with the stress, the fun, the relationships, the activities, etc. Do NOT let the last few months be that of bitter disappointments as so many other people have said. As angry/hurt as you may feel, how much worse would it have been if he lied and said yes? At least he (seems) to be honest. It could be (normally I would said 'would be' but given you are soon going to graduated, the relationship could end naturally anyway) that things would be a hundred times worse and the hurt and anger that much greater if he lied to you. As people stated, give time. As a friend of mine stated to me, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. SOme people don't want to commit easily. It's like making a promise to an extent and some people don't want to make promises unless they are sure they can keep it (such as me). In fact, maybe he is concerned on what would happen if he said yes, and you both had jobs that placed a significant amount of distance between you. Long distance relationships are rough and he may be concerned in putting that type of stress on you. As people stated, make sure you focus on YOUR interests. This takes some time to learn and understand, but it's so true. Sometimes, you have to ask yourself "What do I need to do for my future?". Whether it's graduate school, a job, or whatever, make sure that you have something set up in your future that you are happy with. Again, this is different for different people. Six months MIGHt be too soon. However, you can't say "okay, you can't fall in life in six months" because honestly, it CAN happen. It just depends on the person and the situation. Given that you are going on to the next stage of your life, see what happens as everyone says. If he truly cares for you and vice-versa, then he'll be there in your life. If not, then he won't. What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
closed
Jam it back in, in the dark.
Last edited by Dee; Oct 5, 2008 at 03:21 PM.
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![]() Member 1774 ![]() Level 17.65 ![]() Mar 2006 ![]() |
I have to give it up to you for being strong about this. I'm not trying to diminish the significance of the relationship, but for the reasons you just said, it was for the best. I know relationships take work and sacrifice, but you shouldn't be the only one making the effort. First relationships are hard. The thing you gotta remember is that it's apart of your history and essentially apart of you. You're never going to forget this and it'll hurt for now, but eventually that will go away and you'll move on.
There's nowhere I can't reach. |