Death

There is you who lies to the world and there is you who tells truths to your own self.
The inside self -- is it scared of the end?

Are you afraid of your own, inevitable death? The end of all that there is?
Are you scared of it? Are you anxious? Are you ignoring it? Do you think you're even mature enough to fully comprehend death? Have you ever experienced loss of another?
How do you deal with knowing that, very soon, you will cease to exist and the world won't even notice?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I don't fear death. I fear time.

You hear people say it all the time (admittedly usually in some form of entertainment), "There are worse things than death." They'd be right. The toll Time takes on the body, the mind, the soul, is remarkable. Time can rob a man of his mind and leave his body behind, or it can leave the brain be, opting instead to cripple the body that houses it.

There are worse things than death. Part of me hopes to die at an early age, saving me from ever seeing them first-hand.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Death is just... death. What comes before is what scares me.

Afterlife is also a pretty strange concept to me.
Watching John Hurt at the end of 1984 I thought of what would become of Winston Smith in the afterlife. The damage done was not of a physical kind that would vanish with an "angel makeover".

In normal life I just ignore my mortality - at the age of 29 I would have been considered old in different times, so who knows how long I will be around?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

As others have said, it's when I die that frightens me, not death itself. Sometimes I fear that death is just around the corner, that I will not really get a chance to live long enough and experience all I want out of life. Other times I worry that my death will be tardy and I will have to suffer the indignities that old age has to offer. That's why I take life day by day and try not to think further ahead than necessary.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I don't ever really think about death on a regular basis. And when I do it doesn't bother me. I don't fear it. If it happens, it happens. I don't "live each day" as though I could die the next, and I don't live each day as though I'll live forever. I just "live."

I'm nearly 21 though so that may change in the future. On very rare occasions I'm "aware" of my age so to speak and an odd sort of feeling of mortality hits me, but right now I'm very much enjoying life.

I was speaking idiomatically.

The great majority of people will answer they're "not afraid of death". This is one of those shields our mind naturally builds in order to make us able to advance in life and actually build things.

The true, mental realization of one's death takes a while to achieve. I went all the way through it a couple times and I must admit it froze me with a kind of organic, ancestral terror every times. With proper introspection soon comes the realization that we are the only true vector that makes the world exist to us. Thus, and all religious beliefs put aside, death not only means the end of your life, but the end of the world. The end of everything. Imagining what nothing is like takes a while too, but when it hits you ...

Anyway, it's an interesting experience. Forces you to analyze the mental barriers you naturally built, and eventhough it is frightening, it's a matter of seconds before the shields come back in place, leaving you only with a distant impression of that feeling of nothingness you took so long to reach.

But yeah, in everyday life I don't care about dying nor do I worry about it. Like Frank said, handicap and oldness are naturally bigger preoccupations.

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I've come close to death before (narrow miss situations, etc). It's not bothered me on the level we are discussing here. If it's my time, it's my time. Of course, I don't believe that there is just a big nothing after death, but even imagining that there is just nonexistence - it doesn't send chills down my spine. Why would I care if I don't exist? I can't long for a 'state of being' anymore. If I died today and had the chance to look at my life, before I went into nothingness, sure I'd have regrets, there's tons of things I want to do and accomplish. I reiterate: the idea of my death really does not bother me.

As far as subconscious blocks, I do have something there that inhibits me from thinking what a prolonged, painful death would be, like slowly bleeding out or something, or poisoning, etc. All sorts of nasty things. A quick death is something I can perceive, and that doesn't bother me, but I'm not sure about "worse" deaths. For some reason that's not an idea I can think about at all. But I've at least gotten through one of those shields, and It's not terrorizing at all. Kind of peaceful really, I'd say. Certainly not desirable, but not terror-filled.

The death of family members is a completely different situation, and that is something that absolutely terrifies me. It's not that I place no value on my life because I do, but I couldn't ask for a better family than the one I have, I'm very close to all of them. Recently my dad was in a terrible high-speed accident (he got through it with only a few staples in his head, very lucky) and I have never had a worse feeling run down my spine than when I first heard he'd been in an accident.

FELIPE NO

I'm not so much afraid of death as much as unexpected death.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

If you believe in reincarnation, you don't really fear death. That describes my situation.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Musharraf

If you believe in reincarnation, you don't really fear death. That describes my situation.

I don't know, I think I'd be substantially more worried about coming back as a garden slug than I would be of not coming back at all. Matter of perspective though, I suppose.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I used to fear death, but don't any longer. It was the experience of watching my stepfather die of cancer that did it. He was only supposed to live three months by the time they diagnosed him, but he lived for a year and a half, and during that time became very much at peace with his fate.

The morning he died my mother and I were sitting with him. In a nutshell he was very relaxed, got very quiet, and then just seemed to let go. It really didn't seem like a bad way to die, and witnessing it made me worry much less about what dying would be like.

On the other hand, my mother died in a car crash. Someone cut her off, and when she swerved to avoid being hit her car spun out on the rain soaked freeway. She lightly hit two other cars in the process, which knocked out her headlights and tail lights, so an oncoming car didn't see that she was stopped with her car sideways in the lane. He smashed into the side of her car and she died instantly.

Unlike my stepfather, my mother felt no pain, but the fear she must have felt when she saw that car approach still gets to me on occasion if I allow myself to think about it. I don't know which is worse or better.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I think about death a lot. I'm not scared of it for myself, only of a long illness that may come before. I would prefer it to go by quickly. If I were to die today, it would be okay by me. Since I don't believe in any sort of afterlife, what would it matter? Once you're dead, you can't be upset about being dead. Although in the moment before, I would probably feel sorry for my family. Or maybe not, I can't really put myself into that position, because I have never had a near-death experience.

What terrifies me, though, is the death of others close to me. I mostly think about that aspect. My dad died last February. He was supposed to live with cancer for 2-5 years. He died after 10 weeks, and he sure as hell wasn't "at peace" with it. He was pissed off when he could still talk. Sometimes hopeful. Sometimes fake. And in the last few weeks, completely hopeless, refusing to eat, refusing to take his pills. He was suffering. He wasn't ready to die. There is no fairness in life or death, and anything can happen to anyone at any time. I wasn't there when he died, not even on the day before the night when he died. No one was. I saw him the next morning, but by then, it was very abstract, very cold and strange. It wasn't him anymore. He looked very small.

Although others have died, the only death I have physically witnessed was that of my grandmother in 2001. And of course she was old, and of course that was entirely different, but still, although it was almost 7 years ago, and although I was 13 then, it keeps following me. She looked terrible, that pale, bluish look, and very stiff, like a wax doll. She lived with us then, so she died in our house, in the basement. She just collapsed while my mom was supporting her, and I only heard her cry "Mutti, Mutti!". Then I called the ambulance, but on the phone, I was so confused that I gave them a wrong piece of information - I told them she was still conscious, which she wasn't. I called them again to correct myself, but I always thought that if I'd given them the right information straight away, she wouldn't have died. I don't know why, but I thought that for years. It didn't occur to me that she was old and sick, and that her heart had already failed long before they could have reached us. It was my fault. I think that's one of the worst things about death, the lack of control we have over it, and how we try to compensate.

My mom got in a minor car accident today, for the fourth time this year. I'm so terrified that something will happen to her, if she keeps driving like she does. It's my biggest fear.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I didn't think of death much until I hit 25. I was young, had no worries and lived life. I wish I was young again
Now that I'm getting older, knowing that my time will come soon, I try to enjoy every single day as much as possible.

I fear death intense. The thought of being alone in the dark or not exists just scares me badly. When it comes to my religion, I'm somewhere between half buddhist and believer of science. I really do want to be a 100% buddhist, but there's something that's holding me back from fully believing the religion.

I don't know what can help me to get back on the right buddhist track...

How ya doing, buddy?

Yeah, sometimes, I think it would be easier to be religious. It would give things a meaning. I guess I'm just too sceptical and cynical.

Being young doesn't necessarily equate having no worries and living life, even in "developed" countries. Although we are comparatively well off.

How ya doing, buddy?

I fear what could be possibly waiting after death. Hell/Heaven doesn't scare me....eternity does.

also reincarnation would be cool...but...its still in a cycle of eternity. you are reincarnated over and over. i guess we can't do anything about it, though.

There's also a plausible idea of death being the same state of consciousness before birth...that also scares me, just being nothing. I can't comprehend that.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Musharraf

If you believe in reincarnation, you don't really fear death. That describes my situation.

Heh. Reminds me of a Woody Allen quote about reincarnation (in the Nietzschean sense of reliving the same life all over again perpetually) which goes something like this:

"So Nietzsche says when we die we get to come back and live our life all over. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again."

On topic now: I fear death and think about it quite often. I'm not all it's just that I have a tendency to ask those questions which have no answers to myself a lot, i.e. where do we come from, why are we here, where do we go after we die,etc. This is just the reason I think about it a lot, not why I fear it.

The reason I fear death is that I have a very low tolerance to pain and the moments before death are usually one's most painful. I fear death because I know I will probably cause others pain in going.

I do not, however, fear what comes after death. I am very curious and like to live new experiences. So if anything comes at all after death, I'm sure I'll be up for it. The worst that could happen is that there is nothing after death, in which case I'll be grateful for the eternal rest.

Hey wait a minute... that means I'll be part of the grateful dead! Woot!

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Death can come at any time if it wants, I mean I haven't achieved anything in life and have no plans for the future, so why not take out this extra body?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by K_ Takahashi

Death can come at any time if it wants, I mean I haven't achieved anything in life and have no plans for the future, so why not take out this extra body?

God, you are the whiniest motherfucker I've ever seen. Do you ever do anything other than angst like a 13 year old girl blogging about her "spiritual" experiences at a HIM concert?

Fucking slit your own wrists and end it all, or do something with yourself, but christ. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

God, you are the whiniest motherfucker I've ever seen. Do you ever do anything other than angst like a 13 year old girl blogging about her "spiritual" experiences at a HIM concert?

Fucking slit your own wrists and end it all, or do something with yourself, but christ. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

In this case, hopefully reincarnation isn't real. Last thing we need is for them to come back and start the process all over again =P

I don't want to die yet. I still feel like I have lots to accomplish so if I had the choice, I'd choose to live. What self respecting person wouldn't eh? However, I'm not afraid of dieing either. Whether my beliefs truly are substantial and I am going to heaven, or if after I die, nothing happens save for my body rotting into the ground. As long as I die peacefully, I'm fine.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The last great adventure is how I look at it.
Reason through it:
What's the worst case? Nothing afterward. You won't even know it, and thus no harm, no loss.
Best case? Anything at all. Like Dostoevsky says....

"Where is it I've read that someone condemned to death says or thinks, an hour before his death, that if he had to live on some high rock, on such a narrow ledge that he'd only room to stand, and the ocean, everlasting darkness, everlasting solitude, everlasting tempest around him, if he had to remain standing on a square yard of space all his life, a thousand years, eternity, it were better to live so than to die at once! Only to live, to live and live!"

I'm looking forward to death. I'm curious to see what'll happen.

('course, this could be one of them shields niki was talking about, but what do you expect? I'm 20.)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Well actually the worst case would be that there is something afterwards, but it's really horrible. Maybe you have to sit in a room with, you know, Rosie o' Donnell for all eternity.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

God, you are the whiniest motherfucker I've ever seen. Do you ever do anything other than angst like a 13 year old girl blogging about her "spiritual" experiences at a HIM concert?

Fucking slit your own wrists and end it all, or do something with yourself, but christ. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

And people say Deni isn't helpful.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by DarkLink2135

Well actually the worst case would be that there is something afterwards, but it's really horrible.

I agree. The prospect of nothing isn't scary. If you don't exist, you can't be bothered by your own non-existence. However, this can still be hard to accept, if you're thinking about other people who have left you. I guess it may be comforting for some people to believe that the dead stay close, and things like that. I can't believe in it, but at the same time, I can't not believe in it 100%. Human weakness.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by DarkLink2135

Well actually the worst case would be that there is something afterwards, but it's really horrible. Maybe you have to sit in a room with, you know, Rosie o' Donnell for all eternity.

You know, you are one really dumb motherfucker. Did you even read my post?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I don't fear death. In my mind there are far worse things to lose than my life. Family, friends, Nintendo collection.. etc.etc. Death doesn't bother me. Not getting my goals for this lifetime done in this lifetime is what bothers me most. I don't want to die before I am ready. But that doesn't make fear, in my mind.

I usually say this but life is infinitely more scary than death, IMO. I guess I am just ignoring it then.

Jam it back in, in the dark.