Anxiety & Panic

When I was a kid, I struggled a lot with anxiety. Coupled with that was fairly severe OCD, and I was actually pulled out of school at one point because I simply couldn't cope with the outside world. But I was very blessed to grow out of my anxiety, for the most part--that happened during my high school years. I struggled a lot with depression in college, but that too has passed, and it has been a relief to function as a somewhat normal human being.

Unfortunately, the anxiety has just started up again. I went out of the country for the first time over Christmas break, and traveling was very stressful for me. There was also an incident where the truck I was in slid on the ice and drove into the median, so that was quite a scare. Upon my return to Florida, I have been very anxious.

I have had two panic attacks in the past week, one quite severe. I woke up about an hour after I'd fallen asleep, not knowing where I was. Then I looked around and couldn't figure out whether I was in my apartment, my parents' house, Canada, or some other place. I felt strange, spacey, and began to shake and sweat. I called my parents and stayed on the phone with them for nearly an hour--until my xanax (which I had procured for the flight to Canada, thankful) kicked in.

But even in general, there is this nervousness and worry about me now. I am undergoing a lot of stress, but I freak out over small things, like if I call someone and they don't pick up. I begin to fear that everyone has disappeared and that I'm the only one left in the world--I can't describe the feeling. I am starting to go on walks, drink water, and eat more healthily, but are there any other things that you could suggest?

What exactly evoked this? Just the travel? Will it wear off soon? Is there something I can do to help it along, besides sunlight, water, healthy eating, etc? I just live in fear of these attacks--while I am having them, it is like my mind is a prison, or I will die or something. I would also encourage you to not post horror stories of your own attacks, because I think that reading those might make me worry more. I do want you to say if you've ever struggled with this, I'd just rather not hear about the worst-case scenario where you were swimming, had a panic attack, and drowned. You know.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

In all honestly, it really sounds like you should consider seeing a therapist rather then asking for advice on a gaming forum.

Hopefully someone else will have more useful advice but that's all I can think of. I don't have any idea what you're going through must be like.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I do see a therapist (though not regularly anymore)--not to mention that my dad is a psychologist and has been a very big help during this time. But sometimes I just want to talk to normal--or maybe abnormal--people and get their point of view on things. Especially if they've been through similar stuff. It's nice to know you're not alone, and to perhaps get advice from someone who has struggled likewise.

Edit: Also, the fact that there even exists an advice column on a gaming forum should justify my throwing this out there... It couldn't hurt.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well you didn't say that you saw a therapist in your original post.

Anyhow, don't mind me. I just didn't know what else to say and I saw no one else responded yet.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Well, the therapist has admittedly mostly been in conjunction with the depression, I suppose.

I was speaking idiomatically.

If there isn't any justification for the depression or OCD (traumatic events), I'd imagine you're suffering from some sort of chemical imbalance.

It must be pretty bad if your dad is a psychologist and you are still suffering. As horrible as it sounds, you may have to step up on the medication.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Medication is not a good idea for anxiety and panic attacks, since antianxiolytics are highly addictive and don't solve the problem, but just numben the symptoms temporarily. So please, don't start using them regularly, and only as a last resort if everything else fails! Also, it doesn't have to be a chemical imbalance, as someone suggested here, it may have purely psychological reasons. Different people cope with stress in different ways, and mostly, we have learned these patterns and it can be hard to break them. So basically, I think it's about finding a different way to cope, and learning it all over again.

It's great that your dad is helping you out, but maybe he's just too close to really help in a therapeutic way. That's why I think it's good you're seeing a therapist. We can't really give you any more advice here than that, but I get what you mean by talking to "normal"/"abnormal" people, so feel free to ramble. I guess all I can say is to take it one step at a time. Don't stress yourself too much about the panic attacks, either, because that's only going to make them worse. You've probably been told this before, but when your heart rate increases and you can feel a panic attack coming on, remember that your blood pressure actually increases, too, so you won't faint or anything like that. Try not to hyperventilate, as hard as it can be, try to breathe deeply and slowly, counting 22, 23 in your head. That may even distract you a bit, if you manage. And if not, don't pressure yourself about it, because that certainly won't help.

I've had problems with anxiety/depression for years, and, like you, it was paired with pretty strong OCD when I was a child (luckily, that lessened as I got older). I still get very anxious about tiny little things that don't seem to matter, but I've gotten somewhat better at handling it. If I had a master solution, I'd share it here, but I don't. All you can do is to try to keep a "reality check" on your thoughts ("What is the evidence that things are actually this bad? Is there another option than the horror scenario I'm imagining? Who do I have in my life who is important to me, which proves that I am not alone?"). It sounds stupid, but I try to make myself believe in the reality of the more positive thoughts. A lot of the time, it doesn't work, and it certainly doesn't at first, but it calms me down somewhat.

Maybe an outlet would also be good for you. It's up to you what it is, but to me, it's writing and playing the piano. Afterwards, I feel somewhat more emotionally balanced.

Hope that helps.

How ya doing, buddy?

I have no experience with what you are describing, but it strikes me as being outside of the realm of normal behavior. I'm seconding the call to visit your therapist more often.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Hi Blue. I am no doctor, but I have had large amounts of anxiety to deal with growing up and have learned that taking deep breaths really keeps my mind clear and looking forward. I say this because in certain situations, anxiety may cause a persons nervous system to coil and constrict, like a snake. Breathing becomes more shallow, blood flow to the brain decreases, headaches and other problems soon develop. I mention this because the person who is experiencing anxiety may seldom be aware of it. The very fact that you are aware of it means you might be a step up in building a contingency in dealing with it.

But yes, take slow deep breaths when you start feeling funky. Don't just monitor that you are breathing, but how you are doing it. Take oxygen in to your nose and exhale out of your mouth. 5 seconds in, 7 seconds out. Breathe for 5 minutes like this (or so) and see how that makes you feel. That might help out a bit.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My sister has a huge anxiety problem as well, and it's really tough for her since she has felt this through high school and even now (4th year at community college).

I really like Traveller87's and RainMan's advice. It's easy enough to say "just realize that it's not something to worry about", but that makes little to no sense and is definitely unhelpful. I wouldn't know what to tell you to do, but that I kind of understand where you're coming from.

I'm really glad you are meeting with a therapist; although your father is a psychologist, sometimes I think that when a person is too close to you (family members), they can't (or can!) see different things than someone on the outside (your therapist, or us) can or can't see.

Yeah. Keep updating. It's great that you have parents who are supportive and stay with you on the phone. Talking with others about anxiety and panic is another great support system. =)

There's nowhere I can't reach.