WTF, Mom?!

Okay, so as a kid, we assumed our parents were doing shit the right way for most things. Because...we just didn't know better. They did things you wouldn't have thought once about, let alone twice.

For example. I was never ever worried about my mom's driving before I ever got a license and drove on my own. Now I notice how she's a miserable TAILGATER, omg I want to yell at her when she's driving 6 feet away from the car in front of use going 75.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My mom can't wash clothes, man. Oh, when I was a kid I used to love it when my mom washed our clothes because they were always nice and clean... Only when I was like 18 did I realize that it only takes her two wash cycles to ruin (and bleach) brand new pairs of jeans.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I can't criticize my mom for much - she's pretty good about menial tasks and things. But I am CONSTANTLY her emotional support.

I think it contributes to why I am a matriarch now. My mother was constantly "under my supervision" as my father put it.

To this day, I get phone calls from my mother (a lot lately - I just got off the phone with her in fact) wherein she asks me how to deal with certain things. She has a really hard time dealing with a lot of reality, and I am constantly (and exclusively) the only kind response she gets.

It aggravates me to no end that I have to mommy my mommy. I didn't ask for it, but here it is.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

My mom, who is an English teacher, is actually a terrible speller. I realized this when she gave me a list of things to pick up at the supermarket, and one of the things we needed was "chocolait."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

It aggravates me to no end that I have to mommy my mommy. I didn't ask for it, but here it is.

I can empathyze with that a lot. It sucks balls, but then again, here we are.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by sprouticus

My mom, who is an English teacher, is actually a terrible speller. I realized this when she gave me a list of things to pick up at the supermarket, and one of the things we needed was "chocolait."

Sprout, I don't think there are any words to describe how disturbed I am by this. I am sorry.

Is she actually teaching children? Of what age??

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

You're both stupid. Sprout's mom is bilingual. Sass, you of all people should know this. What she wrote wasn't chocolait. It was choco. lait, obviously in reference to chocolat lait, or lait chocolat. Chocolate Milk. Not her fault Sprout's a monolingual r-tard.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Denicalis

You're both stupid. Sprout's mom is bilingual. Sass, you of all people should know this. What she wrote wasn't chocolait. It was choco. lait, obviously in reference to chocolat lait, or lait chocolat. Chocolate Milk. Not her fault Sprout's a monolingual r-tard.

I've never either met his mother or asked about his mother's history. Why would I?

It makes more sense when you hear she's bilingual, but really, can you appreciate where I'm coming from? If she was NOT bilingual, I wouldn't be surprised by the Americans and their inability to spell English words~

(My mother spells "tomorrow" as "tomarrow" constantly. She's also bilingual. =/ )

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I've never either met his mother or asked about his mother's history. Why would I?

It makes more sense when you hear she's bilingual, but really, can you appreciate where I'm coming from? If she was NOT bilingual, I wouldn't be surprised by the Americans and their inability to spell English words~

(My mother spells "tomorrow" as "tomarrow" constantly. She's also bilingual. =/ )

I don't think she's really bilingual. I was just making a french language joke because it had the word 'lait' in it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

I don't think she's really bilingual. I was just making a french language joke because it had the word 'lait' in it.

Okay, so I am mildly retarded. Where's Divest.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Right here.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Something that bugs me about my mom is that she is a HUGE penny-pincher. I had a jacket that I love a bunch, but the elbows wore out a bit. It's a two-layered light jacket, and thought he elbows are frayed, there is still an inner layer. She nagged me for over a year to trash the jacket (which fits nicely) or patch up the elbows. Well, I decided to patch them up, since I hear about it every time I visit.

I was running errands with her and went with her to a fabric store. She needed something and I grabbed proper elbow patches. She offered to pay for them even though I was perfectly fine doing so. She snagged them and paid for them. I was all "alright. It's only ~$2."

Well, the patches didn't work out, long story short. She wanted to return them, but I just trashed them. I didn't have the receipt, the packing thing was ripped up, and they were only $2. Boy did I ever get my ear talked off over it...

Hell, when I moved from Houston to Bryan, due to the tight U-haul fit, I had to LEAVE my boxsprings. I just left them by the dumpster. Relatively new, but I just bought a new set once I came here. Mentioned it to my dad whose first words were "DON'T TELL YOUR MOTHER "

She would have a cow if she knew I just trashed a perfectly good set of boxsprings, but there was NO WAY I could've moved with them, given how little space I had remaining once I was packed.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My mom is a complete worry wort. When it comes to my safety and such she's fine. She's gotten used to me phoning her from the emergency room =P. But little things like what to make for dinner that night, and what will people think of the yard. And other various things that someone would worry about. Its fine that she cares, but she literally makes herself sick with worry. Ranting and raving about it and such. I'm far from being a worrier, and her antics make me know for sure that I got my laid backness from my father.

I was speaking idiomatically.

About a year ago, I realised that my mother is unable to stop spending money and probably has some kind of personality disorder. After considering the wide scope of bizarre stuff she's pulled throughout my life (constantly screeching at me to stop crying when I was perfectly happy, threatening to send me to military school in Austria as an attempt to salvage her marriage, giving my shit to charity when I wasn't home). After dad left, she pretty much went to pieces and spent a year or so telling my brother and I that we were shitty sons, then had some kind of epiphany.

This is where the inability to manage cash comes in. My brother cut himself off from her for a while for her own good - she insisted on trying to help out with all his bills, and that would usually mean taking out high-interest loans. So, instead, for about a year she'd be putting £200 into my account every month. For the first month, as fourteen-year-olds are, I thought "SHIT! FREE MONEY!" but then had a chat with my bro about it, and there was a shouting match when I confronted her. It was only by withdrawing it and giving the notes to her that convinced her to cut that shit out.

An earlier episode before her divorce revolved around a laptop she was so sure she needed. She refused to get a second-hand one from eBay, having been told by her ditsy friends that it was full of conmen and scammers. So, sure enough, we drive to PC World. I take her to their absolute rock-bottom cheapo model, which was around £400. She only wanted a computer for MS Office and occasional web browsing, and it would have suited her perfectly. Instead, we get into a shouting match, she disregards my advice and purchases a £1400 Compaq, which she took home and left in the box for six months. By the time she turned it on, that model had gone down to £800.

Her indiscriminate spending only occurs when it benefits her, though. In 2004 she fried my PC by pouring red wine all over it, and refused to replace it because I'd been "asking for it" by leaving the top of the case off. I haven't had a desktop since then.

She's still nuts and relies heavily on my brother and I for emotional support. My brother is 24 and she throws a shitfit when he goes a week without calling her ("he doesn't love me," and all that). However, she's found herself a rich boyfriend, who suits her perfectly (and, by proxy, me too - he's an awesome guy, but I do pity him for constantly being taken advantage of).

All in all: Totally loopy, and not in an endearing way.

How ya doing, buddy?

My mom is an incessant pack rat. She cannot clean the house for shit and as a kid, I thought it was lawls that we had all these styrofoam cups laying around and the mail would accumulate 3 months deep.

Now that I'm older, I realize what a fucking pain it is to go home and find it overflowing with junk. Plastic bags, stationary supplies she janks from work, comforters and pieces of furniture she gets on sale that we will never use, clothes from the 70's she never wears but "might be able to fit in it when she loses weight", etc you get the point, I live in a landfill. Our house is a mismash of random junk and she never cleans, so dust gets everywhere, the floors are all dirty and kitchen has never been scrubbed. I end up cleaning everytime I go home but she forbids anyone to throw away her stuff.

One day I was in the garage (or storage space for everything besides an actual vehicle) and found boxes full of dried highlighters. BOXES FULL. And when I asked her if I could throw them away, she flipped the shit and called me wasteful.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by kat

My mom is an incessant pack rat. She cannot clean the house for shit and as a kid, I thought it was lawls that we had all these styrofoam cups laying around and the mail would accumulate 3 months deep.

Now that I'm older, I realize what a fucking pain it is to go home and find it overflowing with junk. Plastic bags, stationary supplies she janks from work, comforters and pieces of furniture she gets on sale that we will never use, clothes from the 70's she never wears but "might be able to fit in it when she loses weight", etc you get the point, I live in a landfill. Our house is a mismash of random junk and she never cleans, so dust gets everywhere, the floors are all dirty and kitchen has never been scrubbed. I end up cleaning everytime I go home but she forbids anyone to throw away her stuff.

One day I was in the garage (or storage space for everything besides an actual vehicle) and found boxes full of dried highlighters. BOXES FULL. And when I asked her if I could throw them away, she flipped the shit and called me wasteful.

I can relate to this, my mother, a very good, loving mother that i would never ever want live without, cannot clean her own house even though it fucking radiates with glow in the dark green fumes of death.

I lived in Brazil for half a year, and i was worried leaving because im the one that usually cleaned up the place, since both my brothers have long since given up on her. Within 2 weeks into my trip, she sent me an email complaining i wasn't home to help her and that the trash needed to be emptied, even though im across the world, taking out the trash was too hard

So long story short, i come home after half a year, and my god, i swear i was nearly ashamed of coming home, it just looked like a landfill, a complete mess

And the absolute worst part, she openly admits she's terrible at it but yet if you try to help her get better, she refuses progress

arrrrg

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

What can I say about my mom? Maybe she cares a little too much, everytime I try to talk to her on the phone about something it ends up making me frustrated because she always thinks her way is right. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my mother to death and there's not much wrong with her. We just moved to Idaho, away from her in Vegas, cried liked crazy but that's a different story. Anyway, everytime I talk to her on the phone she practically begs me to come back to Vegas. She knows I can't afford it, yet she asks "do you think things will be better if you move back here?" She knows the answer but she asks it e.v.e.r.y. single time! Other than that, my dad hates me and she goes along with his problems sometimes to make him a little happier.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My parents left me in the car when I was five while the rest of the family hiked up Mt. Fuji. I didn't want to go, you see. That's the best I can come up with. I can't really think of anything that my parents do wrong consistently.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

My mom does know some French, so it's possible she simply screwed it up, but she has never been the best speller either.

She doesn't teach kids. She used to teach English as a Second Language at the Adult Learning Center, a place where you could get your GED. Before that, she taught high school english.

She quit a few years ago, and recently got back into teaching at a nearby Huntington learning center, teaching all sorts of kids various things, from English to Math.

How ya doing, buddy?

I love my mom to death, but she has some of the ODDEST ways of relaxing. Our house is a mess, but instead of cleaning somewhere, she takes whatever cans she'll be recycling, dumps them into the sink, cleans them out, and takes off the tabs. We have jugs of these tabs to recycle. And this only started recently, so I'm like 'dont you have something better you could be doing? Anything? Sleeping would be more productive than this.'

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My mom can't stop being mom. Sometimes, I really will do my chores; just after i finish my essay or after i finish tinkering with my computer, or after I do something else that I feel is more important. And since i usually get really involved in my work i don't realize that she's completely done with whatever it was i was supposed to do. I mean, as the oldest son I am supposed to do all the heavy lifting, the mopping, vacuuming, w/e. Mom is like 40 years old, I don't want her to be lifting anything remotely heavy, or doing anything remotely strenuous. And i sure as hell don't want a 5'4 Chinese middle aged woman going to Costco and buying shit in bulk.

Of course, other times I really don't want to do my chores. Like laundry, o how i loathe doing my laundry...

The second thing that i'm totaly WTF Mom?! is that she's been in North America for over twenty years now, and she still speaks like she's fresh off the boat. Like, WTF Mom?!

How ya doing, buddy?

I don't think I can recall anything unusual about my mother as far as housework, but her driving habits of the past may apply to this thread. When I was younger, she drove me around so I could get to school or if we needed groceries and other simple errands. But that was pretty much it. She didn't drive anywhere else, and openly admitted that she simply preferred not to drive unless it was to work.

So when I got my license, she always reminded me to be careful as expected, and I've become a good driver because of it. I haven't been in any accidents or received any tickets in the five years I've been driving. Now I drive everywhere as long as I know where I'm going, and I'm not like my mother at all when it comes to traveling in general. I've also become her personal driver, so whenever I visit my parents on my free weekends, she takes advantage of that and I take her wherever she wants.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?