Negative feelings towards love...advice appreciated.

Helllo all. I'm somewhat new here (first post) and just wanted to get some help and or advice from anyone. Sorry that this is a bit long.

For the past week I have been feeling reall miserable, I've started developing a huge crush on my best female friend, problem is she is going out with someone...my best male friend. And since they've pretty much my two closest friends I'm around them a hell of a lot, which makes ignoring these feelings soo much harder for me. Two weeks ago she told me of dificulties they were having and came to me for advice, and I gave all teh advice/help I could to make sure they would stay together and that she was happy, and although that was kinda a big conflict of interest on my part, I did the right thing and I'm fine with that.
Now I'm developing negative feelings towards love again though. I haven't really had any postive experiences in regards to love (my first girlfriend drugged and raped me, first crush after that is the girl I have a crush on now, and that crush did not end well for me; second girlfriend was too worried about everything and left me shortly after we started going out and pretty much the whole time we went out she made me feel like shit; third crush ended really badly because she led me on so much, only to pretty much say 'f u I don't like you creepo' and that left me quite heartbroken, and finally, there's this crush where I can't even tell her how I feel for her, which reallly really suckorz.)
I mean, I know I'm only 17 and that I have a long while to find love, but the problem is I've just had soo many bad experiences with relationships that I've gotten into the mindset that I will never find love and actually be happy. I'm aware that these feelings are because I'm partially jaded, but I don't know what to do.
And as for meeting new girls in college, I agree that there are going to be a lot of new people whereever I go to college;l but I really do suck at making new friends, to the point where I have just a few friends.

How ya doing, buddy?

Drugged and raped? Don't you have an interesting back story. Though, mate, you're 17. I don't think you truly understand just how little life experience you've had so far. You suck at making friends and you haven't found the one true love by 17. Think about that for a while. Most people, if they find it at all, are much older. You, my friend, are not as special as you think. You're what we call "par for the course." You're not unusual here, just suck it up and life works out. That's how it works.

P.S.
With a name that means Justice in latin, you should have a better grasp of the "balance" factor to life.

P.P.S.
People with latin names are gay.

P.P.P.S.
Unless you stole it from the Boondock Saints, then it's forgiveable.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well as I said, I don't really think I've ever found true love, and nor do people generally find it around my age. It is just that with all the shit that's going on, and my probable depression, I just feel that nothing good will ever come to me in that regard (or in any regard really, my lifes been one big landfill ^_^)

P.S. Hahahaha
P.P.S. Well I am bisexual.....
P.P.P.S. Yeah, I stole it from there, I was going to do Aequitas Veritas but someone already has that.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Aequitas

Helllo all. I'm somewhat new here (first post) and just wanted to get some help and or advice from anyone. Sorry that this is a bit long.

For the past week I have been feeling reall miserable, I've started developing a huge crush on my best female friend, problem is she is going out with someone...my best male friend. And since they've pretty much my two closest friends I'm around them a hell of a lot, which makes ignoring these feelings soo much harder for me. Two weeks ago she told me of dificulties they were having and came to me for advice, and I gave all teh advice/help I could to make sure they would stay together and that she was happy, and although that was kinda a big conflict of interest on my part, I did the right thing and I'm fine with that.
Now I'm developing negative feelings towards love again though. I haven't really had any postive experiences in regards to love (my first girlfriend drugged and raped me, first crush after that is the girl I have a crush on now, and that crush did not end well for me; second girlfriend was too worried about everything and left me shortly after we started going out and pretty much the whole time we went out she made me feel like shit; third crush ended really badly because she led me on so much, only to pretty much say 'f u I don't like you creepo' and that left me quite heartbroken, and finally, there's this crush where I can't even tell her how I feel for her, which reallly really suckorz.)
I mean, I know I'm only 17 and that I have a long while to find love, but the problem is I've just had soo many bad experiences with relationships that I've gotten into the mindset that I will never find love and actually be happy. I'm aware that these feelings are because I'm partially jaded, but I don't know what to do.
And as for meeting new girls in college, I agree that there are going to be a lot of new people whereever I go to college;l but I really do suck at making new friends, to the point where I have just a few friends.

Dude all you have to consider is that there are OTHER million students ini High school who have the exact same feelings. So suck it up until the alloted time comes up :juggler:

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Dude . . . call Loveline. They'll sort ya out! They deal with this kinda stuff all the time.
As for the above post, he forum is claled ANGST. Let him post will, ya?

At any rate, there are plenty of fish in the sea and plenty of psychologists to help you find one. Buck up buddy!

I was speaking idiomatically.

Yeah sorry I am ranting too...(I have similar problems as well, and hahah I suck about it X_X)

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hmm... This'll make a great typical anime storyline. Actually this situation is freakishly similar to some anime around!

But being serious, I think you gotta control those feelings man. From what I'm reading so far it seems to only time you'll have a chance with your best female friend is if your best male friend is out of both your lives completely (which I think would be highly unlikely, would it not?).

It seems you really want love to come your way, seeing how you've gone through that many scenarios. But keep in mind, "good things come to those who wait." Someone who likes you will come forth as long as you stop "trying" to find someone. Trying to find someone is the biggest person changer as you find yourself trying to appear perfect for girls etc. etc.

Otherwise if you can't wait, go talk to other girls. Broaden that horizon of yours. Or keep within your walls of safety. Talk to girls with the same interests as you. Join clubs. Join groups. Whatever gives you an excuse to meet new people.

G'Luck mate.

FELIPE NO

********

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Well once love comes to you...that must mean there is love from BOTH sides...so I really don't agree with love coming to you at all...more like you should pursue it

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Aequitas

Well as I said, I don't really think I've ever found true love, and nor do people generally find it around my age. It is just that with all the shit that's going on, and my probable depression, I just feel that nothing good will ever come to me in that regard (or in any regard really, my lifes been one big landfill ^_^)

P.S. Hahahaha
P.P.S. Well I am bisexual.....
P.P.P.S. Yeah, I stole it from there, I was going to do Aequitas Veritas but someone already has that.

I flew as Aequitas and Veritas on Subspace for years and years.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by x86

Long time before the crash, I was known in this forum as LordSyl. Back then, I created one or two posts where I spoke about my "love life" (relationship-wise, I mean ), which was (and still is) non-existant, and I'm in harder conditions than you: Almost 22 years old, and extremely small social base (family, basically).

To the point: I received similar answers: "love will come to you" and "it'll hit when you least expect it" and so - but no signs o'life yet.
I'm somewhat skeptic (though chances of it happening shouldn't be discarded, let's be optimistic ) but hey, those phrases end up sounding like automated answers. :lolsign:

Now that's an extremity of the other kind.

Of course you won't find any love if there's no "candidates" to start off with! And what I mean by "love will come to you" is that you do the things you love doing yourself. I don't know. Join an anime club or something. Tennis club. Enjoy whatever you do in whatever you join and a person with a similar mind to yours may come. I say may, but there's a high chance of meeting someone.

But then again, people will probably use the cliche "It's easier said than done." It's easier to sit on your ass and give up than to go out there and do stuff you enjoy (and as a consequence meeting other people who think the way you do). Live life.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by x86

Long time before the crash, I was known in this forum as LordSyl. Back then, I created one or two posts where I spoke about my "love life" (relationship-wise, I mean ), which was (and still is) non-existant, and I'm in harder conditions than you: Almost 22 years old, and extremely small social base (family, basically).

To the point: I received similar answers: "love will come to you" and "it'll hit when you least expect it" and so - but no signs o'life yet.
I'm somewhat skeptic (though chances of it happening shouldn't be discarded, let's be optimistic ) but hey, those phrases end up sounding like automated answers. :lolsign:

Well, I for one admit that it's easier to get a girl if you go looking for one (ask me back in sophomore year of college... it would take me a matter of days to get a girl if I wanted).

HOWEVER... none of those worked out. One 8-monther, and many shorter ones.

A whopping two months after I said to myself "fuck this girl-hunting thing, I don't care anymore," I met the girl I'm about 99.9% sure I'm gonna marry.

So yeah, if you just want someone to spend time with and/or get some dating experience with, go look. But if you're thinking long-term, the "love will come to you" thing worked for me.

(And just in case you're one of those who hasn't done the dating thing much yet... I highly recommend it! Yes, I have to say I enjoy my time with my current girl immensely, but I wouldn't trade that period when I sometimes dated several girls in a month for anything. It was definitely a learning/growing experience)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

*****

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Aequitas

Helllo all. I'm somewhat new here (first post) and just wanted to get some help and or advice from anyone. Sorry that this is a bit long.

For the past week I have been feeling reall miserable, I've started developing a huge crush on my best female friend, problem is she is going out with someone...my best male friend. And since they've pretty much my two closest friends I'm around them a hell of a lot, which makes ignoring these feelings soo much harder for me. Two weeks ago she told me of dificulties they were having and came to me for advice, and I gave all teh advice/help I could to make sure they would stay together and that she was happy, and although that was kinda a big conflict of interest on my part, I did the right thing and I'm fine with that.
Now I'm developing negative feelings towards love again though. I haven't really had any postive experiences in regards to love (my first girlfriend drugged and raped me, first crush after that is the girl I have a crush on now, and that crush did not end well for me; second girlfriend was too worried about everything and left me shortly after we started going out and pretty much the whole time we went out she made me feel like shit; third crush ended really badly because she led me on so much, only to pretty much say 'f u I don't like you creepo' and that left me quite heartbroken, and finally, there's this crush where I can't even tell her how I feel for her, which reallly really suckorz.)
I mean, I know I'm only 17 and that I have a long while to find love, but the problem is I've just had soo many bad experiences with relationships that I've gotten into the mindset that I will never find love and actually be happy. I'm aware that these feelings are because I'm partially jaded, but I don't know what to do.
And as for meeting new girls in college, I agree that there are going to be a lot of new people whereever I go to college;l but I really do suck at making new friends, to the point where I have just a few friends.

Please stop acting like a wussy.Stop looking to find women that have relationships with your friends.Love?Hah?Did you have any experiances with her to talk about love?

Love is something deeper than a hard errected pennis in the morning that someone pulls and pushes up and down for the woman he feels attraction to.You are just overly attracted to her.Love her?No if you look a bit closer you will see that behind the world love is the lack of meaning in your life,and the desire to be accepted by others.You need to find new things to do and feel so full that you will not need others to express your need for love.

As for that case do not give advice to couples.Its not worth it.leave them to sort it out themselves -unless they are GOOD friends of yours,but i do no think they are friends of yours,as i would never ever allow my self to feel attraction for the girl of a friend of mine.-

I know i am being hard and crude with you but believe me it will be better if someone strikes you with a punch and you wake from the wussy fantasy love world you are into and you wake in to the normal world and understand some simple things.

You can do anything you want.Just stop looking in the wrong places.Flirt and find women who do not have boyfriends (and even if they have ,those boyfriends should not be your best male friends).

Regards

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Nikodr

Please stop acting like a wussy.Stop looking to find women that have relationships with your friends.Love?Hah?Did you have any experiances with her to talk about love?

Love is something deeper than a hard errected pennis in the morning that someone pulls and pushes up and down for the woman he feels attraction to.You are just overly attracted to her.Love her?No if you look a bit closer you will see that behind the world love is the lack of meaning in your life,and the desire to be accepted by others.You need to find new things to do and feel so full that you will not need others to express your need for love.

What the FUCK are you even talking about?

Anyway, Justice-man, the line "you're so young, shut up and get back on the horse" is so shitty and tired it's not even worth posting. I can say that you (and everybody else) would do well to stop making such a monumental deal about love.

EVERYBODY thinks it's some big, stupid, wishy-washy mystery, but it's not. Love is just good feelings. If someone consistently makes you feel good inside, then you (can) love them. You can't very well be jaded against good feelings, can you? It's as simple as that.

As far as meeting new people goes, just do your thing. According to my expansive wisdom and vast experience, people who go out of their way to try and find TROO LURVE hardly ever get what they're looking for. You won't feel like you're being very productive, but it's really the most efficient way to go about it. Look at it this way - if you go out of your way to attract a mate, then you're not being yourself, right? And a relationship founded on a false image isn't a sound relationship.

So, despite my best efforts, I will still end with a tired cliche:
Be yourself.

Spoiler:

"I go to the wise man for help, and the wise man sayeth, help thyself."
-Old Klingon Proverb

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by doodle

What the FUCK are you even talking about?

Anyway, Justice-man, the line "you're so young, shut up and get back on the horse" is so shitty and tired it's not even worth posting. I can say that you (and everybody else) would do well to stop making such a monumental deal about love.

EVERYBODY thinks it's some big, stupid, wishy-washy mystery, but it's not. Love is just good feelings. If someone consistently makes you feel good inside, then you (can) love them. You can't very well be jaded against good feelings, can you? It's as simple as that.

As far as meeting new people goes, just do your thing. According to my expansive wisdom and vast experience, people who go out of their way to try and find TROO LURVE hardly ever get what they're looking for. You won't feel like you're being very productive, but it's really the most efficient way to go about it. Look at it this way - if you go out of your way to attract a mate, then you're not being yourself, right? And a relationship founded on a false image isn't a sound relationship.

So, despite my best efforts, I will still end with a tired cliche:
Be yourself.

Spoiler:

"I go to the wise man for help, and the wise man sayeth, help thyself."
-Old Klingon Proverb

The kid was out of control that's why i was so hard in my answer to him.He speaked of being in love with someone else's girlfriend and that someone else was his best friend.Could that be love?no!to me love can only be something thats mutual for both.If only one is having feelings it is not good for his life.

That's the reason i told him about a hard errected pennis in the morning.He is not feeling love for her.It is just passion driven from the fact that his only 17 and does not know about feelings nor does he have any experiance with life.Side effectes?He wakes up in the morning,pennis errected he is passionate and obsessed about having her (not realizing that it is not right since it is his best friend's girlfriend!),and thinks that he loves her.That is no love.

No sorry but it would be better to say some bad nasty and mean words (from people who are outside this story and are just offering some help),than to say "cheer up honey".He has to realize the wrong of his thoughts and try to grow up and learn to avoid such mistakes.

You are correct about telling him to be himself.If he is emotional i am sure he will find many other girls that will appreciate his character.It is just the fact that he has to move on.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Well you gotta weight your options. If you tell either of them now especially now that they're in trouble they're both probably gonna hate you. And if she does end up with you then your best friend's gotta hate you for a while. So the only feasible option is to probably wait.

Or you could just live life, occupy you time with something until that proper times to fall in love with whoever.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quote:

Helllo all. I'm somewhat new here (first post) and just wanted to get some help and or advice from anyone. Sorry that this is a bit long.

For the past week I have been feeling reall miserable, I've started developing a huge crush on my best female friend, problem is she is going out with someone...my best male friend. And since they've pretty much my two closest friends I'm around them a hell of a lot, which makes ignoring these feelings soo much harder for me. Two weeks ago she told me of dificulties they were having and came to me for advice, and I gave all teh advice/help I could to make sure they would stay together and that she was happy, and although that was kinda a big conflict of interest on my part, I did the right thing and I'm fine with that.
Now I'm developing negative feelings towards love again though. I haven't really had any postive experiences in regards to love (my first girlfriend drugged and raped me, first crush after that is the girl I have a crush on now, and that crush did not end well for me; second girlfriend was too worried about everything and left me shortly after we started going out and pretty much the whole time we went out she made me feel like shit; third crush ended really badly because she led me on so much, only to pretty much say 'f u I don't like you creepo' and that left me quite heartbroken, and finally, there's this crush where I can't even tell her how I feel for her, which reallly really suckorz.)
I mean, I know I'm only 17 and that I have a long while to find love, but the problem is I've just had soo many bad experiences with relationships that I've gotten into the mindset that I will never find love and actually be happy. I'm aware that these feelings are because I'm partially jaded, but I don't know what to do.
And as for meeting new girls in college, I agree that there are going to be a lot of new people whereever I go to college;l but I really do suck at making new friends, to the point where I have just a few friends

You know, the way you feel isn't unusual for someone who hasn't been very successful with his first few relationships. The same happened to me. And I'm slightly older than you. I know exactly how you feel, the whole "fuck love" thing. A year ago, I would have agreed with you. But I've learned that having such an attitude will screw you up later in life.

If you can go one day without thinking about a girl, more power to you. But if you can't, then the "fuck love" attitude will only increase your cowardness and your fear of getting into a decent relationship as you get older.

You may just have to accept the fact that being with your female best friend will never happen. It's grim, but once you go to college you'll make friends and it won't be a big deal anymore. If you can't make friends in college, there's something seriously wrong. And unless you have a social disorder, I doubt there's anything wrong with you except your attitude.

Quote:

Look at it this way - if you go out of your way to attract a mate, then you're not being yourself, right? And a relationship founded on a false image isn't a sound relationship.

My god, you just said in two sentences what I've been trying to say for the last two years. I see people doing this all the time; they're different people when they have girlfriends/boyfriends. People want a significant other so much that they would change themselves drastically. It makes me want to puke.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Aequitas

I haven't really had any postive experiences in regards to love (my first girlfriend drugged and raped me,)

If this were GameFAQS, I would be calling this post fake.

But it's not, so I'll say that it's quite rare to hear about a girl date raping a boy.

Anyways I'm going to go with some of the above posters and say "Let love come to you. Until then, look nice and be yourself." Otherwise I know it won't be worth it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The day i get drugged and raped by a girl is a happy day.

At least i can go back and threaten her that i'll tell the cops, if she asks what i want i'll just ask her to 'rape' me again without the drugs. Awesomest days of my life they will be. >.< .................(!)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?