You guys are not a match!! Friends opinion on couple

Hi everyone,

There is something that has been bothering me. I'm currently dating this one girl that I really like. We are in our 4th year in college for those people that are curious about our age. The thing is that her friends say we are not a match AT ALL. She is very outgoing and although I'm not anti-social I'm quite shy. I still talk and everything, but her friends feel that it is hard for them to talk to me. I admit I'm not a very socialable person and the girl I like is a pretty socialable person. She told me that two of her friends said that she should find someone more like her and another one said What are you doing? You guys are not a match AT ALL. What are you guys thoughts on this? Can 2 people that are completely different be together?

How ya doing, buddy?

Sure, why not? If the people who have a problem with it are her friends, then it's not their damn business. I'd quickly tell any of my friends to back the hell up if they started that kind of crap. It's ridiculous! I could understand them sticking an oar in if they thought you were mistreating her or something, but this is just... well, it sounds like they are the ones who have the problem with you, and that is just too bad for them.

If your girlfriend has a problem with your relationship, then she will let you know. Short of that, it's not an issue. I'm dating someone who is a lot less sociable than I am, and it's just not a problem. I socialise with my friends as and when I please, and then the time I spend with her is separate from that.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Thing is, you're not dating her friends, you're dating her. Her friends are probably going ape shit because they're not accustomed to your personality. Sure it'd be ideal if they were cool with you and everything was fine and dandy, but all you need to consider is your feelings and your significant others.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

There's always the old saying that opposites attract =o Sometimes the chatty outgoing girl likes to lug around a silent weight to which she can do all her talking.

Whilst he files away at his shackles =(

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Gechmir

There's always the old saying that opposites attract =o Sometimes the chatty outgoing girl likes to lug around a silent weight to which she can do all her talking.

QFE.

But yea... if you have a feeling that it might bother her, you could ask her about it. Remember, she likes you for a reason

Most amazing jew boots

Umm I would give a fucking damn about what other people say about my relationship. Very often, they are just jealous or something like that. As long as you two are happy together, why should you listen to your "friends"?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Kazyl

Thing is, you're not dating her friends, you're dating her. Her friends are probably going ape shit because they're not accustomed to your personality. Sure it'd be ideal if they were cool with you and everything was fine and dandy, but all you need to consider is your feelings and your significant others.

Need not say more than this.

FELIPE NO

Actually in my experience this could be a problem, depending on how important the girl thinks her friends' opinions are, and how vocal they are about you not matching her. The most important thing is to not let it get to you. As long as you can keep her interested by being unpredictable and fresh, she'll absolutely stay with you, no matter how unmatched her girlfriends think you guys are. Remember, girls love to stay with assholes, and they always get warned a thousand times by their friends. I'm not saying to be an asshole, but I'm giving it as an example: what her friends say won't affect her attraction to you, unless you let it.

Just be confident that you're "the man for the job", and she won't really have a choice but to keep liking you. People can't be "talked out of" being attracted to somebody--but if you start behaving differently (more insecure), that could start her thinking "maybe my friends are right".

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

In my experience, I've found you can use this as a chance to broaden your horizons, so to speak. Step a little bit out of your comfort zone and become a little more outgoing. Because your girl's friends are basically telling her that you're a lame ass dude, so show them (and confirm to your girl) that you aren't as lame as they feel you are.

Relationships, at least all of mine, have been exercises in stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new shit you wouldn't normally do. Even if you don't end up with this girl in the long run, you'll likely be better for it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

For me personally, if my close friends say we're not a match because they have problems with the girl, then it's something worth atleast considering. My friends told me that this girl wanted to date me, and I thought she was cute, but she's a complete and utter drama queen skank. I'm glad I listened to them. Some people are extremely stubborn about the third party's perspective on relationships, but I always listen to it since 9 times out of 10, your perspective is clouded by your attraction to the person.

So, if anything, I'd be worried about HER listening to her friends. If you see signs of waning attraction, convince her you're better than they are making you out to be.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'm (apparently) a chatty, "outgoing" girl (although I wasn't always like this...) and I find myself almost always attracted to the quiet shy guys. I think it's a nice balance, personally. But perhaps that's because my parents are the same pairing: my mom talks nonstop and my dad barely talks at all.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Thanks for the thoughts everyone. After she told me what her friends said(one of them she met this year the other one she knew since her first year in college) she also said but you make me so happy and make me feel so special, but I didn't want to say this earlier because it might change your interpretation. However, the main reason why she isn't my girlfriend is because she says she still likes other guys. What she means by this is that usually when you are in a relationship and see some hot guy/girl you'll be like wow he/she is cute/hot and nothing more. She doesn't feel this way yet and would think about that hot/cute guy for a while.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I mean, a bit of a personal question - but have you had sex with this girl yet? If not, try to do so ASAP in order to try and salvage some kind of dignity because what you just described sounds like a situation waiting to go to shit on your end.

I was speaking idiomatically.

No and I don't plan to force the issue of sex.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'm not telling you to force it, but she's telling you that she likes you and she makes you feel 'special' but at the same time, she doesn't want to be exclusive to you because she still likes other guys. Does anyone else find that suspect as all hell?

I'm not sure what they call that what you come from, but where I come from, that's called 'Getting played.'

At the very least, be prepared for some bullshit on her end. If you fuck the broad, at least you can say 'I fucked this bitch before she pulled that bullshit.' Otherwise, you're gonna go back to your dorm/apartment/house and cry and masturbate simultaneously wondering where you went wrong.

How ya doing, buddy?

Yeah, I'm with you, Night Phoenix. I would say either try to have sex with her or (even better) move on and start dating other girls, preferably a few of them, and make sure she knows about it. Up your value.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

On one hand: Fuck what her parents and especially her friends think.
On the other: These people are an integral part of her life and if you're not willing to try and mingle, associate, or fuck around with these bottlenoses you are not truly becoming a part of her life. You're more of a side project and, unless she really loves you, she'll be gone in a matter of time.

Originally Posted by surasshu

move on and start dating other girls, preferably a few of them, and make sure she knows about it. Up your value.

Sounds good, but only do this if you're willing to accept the possibility of her basically telling you to fuck off afterwards.

Originally Posted by Musashi

the main reason why she isn't my girlfriend is because she says she still likes other guys. What she means by this is that usually when you are in a relationship and see some hot guy/girl you'll be like wow he/she is cute/hot and nothing more. She doesn't feel this way yet and would think about that hot/cute guy for a while.

=X X_X

Jam it back in, in the dark.