You are a threat to national security

Let's hear your horror stories of getting detained by airport security while they search through your luggage and inspect your waist pouch for traces of cocaine because their sniffer dog pounced on you at the customs and immigration counter. Yes, this happened to me at Melbourne. Better there than Singapore, otherwise I'd have been facing the death penalty.

The guy at immigration was a dick to me, too.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I've never been detained, but about a year ago when they were being extra, extra strict this older lady in front of me refused to relinquish her bottle of hand sanitizer (scented, from Bath & Body Works, by the looks of it). She said it was brand new and they could test it if they wanted but she wasn't getting on the plane without it. It ended up with her completely flipping on the three or four security people who came over and I never did get to see how it ended because I had a plane to catch! But I'll bet they had to kill her.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I've never been out of the country. I'm too poor to be considered a threat to any country. Maybe someday, maybe.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well I got detained last Christmas at LAX airport waiting for my departure where I got a self-made lemon juice in a spring water bottle (I drink it because it sooth my throat, which is what I was suffering at that time). During the check in the security was asking me what kind of water is it? I told them its home made lemonaid... they immediately ask me to follow them to the back room to verify the content >_<

Luckily it WAS lemon juice, and i was only asked to dispose it.... however because of that I was the last person onto the plane *sigh* Given checked in at the airport 3 hrs before departure!

Thou the 3 officers were quite nice, the one thats being a dick through out the whole process was the baggage checking dude. (He kept on raising the suspicion , even requested my whole bag to be searched) At least there wasn't any strip search.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yeah... when Sailordaravon and I went to the courthouse to get married, we had to go through the metal detector. We passed and I put purse through the machine and it beeped. We went around and he asked me to open my purse. I said okay, and he looked into it for the contents and pulled out the disposable camera.

Of course box cutters aren't allowed into the courthouse either. o.O' My work requires a lot of box cutters so I warned the guard that its possible I carried one in my purse. O.o But it was the disposable camera that caught the alarm. He told us its okay as long as we don't take pictures anywhere in the building except in that "office". :\ Gee.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Flying to Memphis a few years ago, I got pulled aside by airport security in Baltimore because they were suspicious of my DS. They saw it in my carry on as it went through the x-ray machine, and they pulled it out to examine it. The security woman rubbed some cloth up around it, then stuck the cloth in a machine (some sort of bomb detection I guess). An alarm went off on the machine, and they got all freaked out. I was afraid they would confiscate my DS (my sole form of entertainment for the flight), but in the end they just took down all my personal information from my driver's license, called over a supervisor, and let me pass. I learned from then on to take the DS out of my carry on bag and put it through the x-ray by itself, so they don't freak out.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Never had a problem with foreign immigration, although this one stupid customs officer in Cebu thought that the blank 50-dvd recordable discs I bought in from Singapore were "masters" of "original DVDs". Of all the countries ...

FELIPE NO

Nothing of note has happened to me at the airport, but my uncle had an interesting run-in with airport security. My uncle is a jewelry salesman who takes his merchandise (pearls, diamonds, etc.) to different jewelry stores to sell them. He has anywhere from tens of thousands to a million dollars of jewels on him at any given time. With all of the people out there who work to steal merchandise from people like my uncle, he's a very cautious and paranoid guy. He carries several firearms in his car and always carries a handgun in his bag.

He was getting ready for his flight to Tahiti at an airport in Austin and put his carry-on on the little thing that pulls it through the X-ray machine. Since he's so used to carrying his handgun around, he forgot to remove it from the bag. When the person checking out the X-rays saw it, they shit their pants and called security, who swarmed my uncle and took him into custody. He ended up being hauled off in a vehicle with other people who accidentally left "dangerous" things in their bag, like an old woman in her 70s who had a small swiss army knife in her purse. As far as I know he's in the clear now, but I haven't talked to him in a while so I don't know for sure.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

My sister brought a swiss army knife to Australian customs, that got confiscated faster than a pack of chewing gum in Singapore.

Her friend had it worse though. Apparently she brought in some fruit unknowingly (her mother stuffed it in her bag) and that copped her a fine of a few hundred dollars. Can't complain either since there are only a few thousand signs with huge letters warning you to dispose of your fruits.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Looool =3 I went through the metal detector around six years ago and got beeped. Emptied pockets and I still beeped, so I got dragged into a side room for a hand-held detection.

Firstly, it goes off on my left shoe. They remove it and find a metal sliver that somehow got into it. Maybe when the base was originally molded. They then started sweeping me again and the detector beeped as it went over my right knee. This was shortly after my surgery, and it was loaded with metal bits. The person with the detector looks me dead in the face and says "SIR. ARE YOU CARRYING ANY WEAPONS IN YOUR KNEE."

My first response was "AHAHAHA. YEAH LIKE A KNIFE RIGHT? :3"
"*angerface*"
"No "

I also know a buddy who freaked out a few folks on a plane just two weeks ago. He was talking about Obama and said "Oh-bomma" too loud. "BOMBER?" "WHAT?"

No panic broke out beyond two or three folks, as it was squashed/clarified almost as soon as it got off the ground (the misconception. Not the plane!). But I got a chuckle out of hearing about it :3

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by nuttyturnip

Flying to Memphis a few years ago, I got pulled aside by airport security in Baltimore because they were suspicious of my DS. They saw it in my carry on as it went through the x-ray machine, and they pulled it out to examine it. The security woman rubbed some cloth up around it, then stuck the cloth in a machine (some sort of bomb detection I guess). An alarm went off on the machine, and they got all freaked out. I was afraid they would confiscate my DS (my sole form of entertainment for the flight), but in the end they just took down all my personal information from my driver's license, called over a supervisor, and let me pass. I learned from then on to take the DS out of my carry on bag and put it through the x-ray by itself, so they don't freak out.

O_o

Oh, really... I've never had that problem with my DS. I've been on several flights with it. I don't think I'll change my ways though despite your experience. Good heads up though, so maybe I can expect that experience sometime in the future. ^^

I guess two sorta stories. Post 9/11: I had to give up a tiny screwdriver for that I use for my eyeglasses. I should've known better, but I completely forgot about it (so tiny ;_;). But yeah, they wouldn't let me have it.

And also pre-9/11, on the return flight from a high school band trip from Disney World, kinda got in trouble for having a "realistic" cowboy toy gun with me... oh, fun times. :3

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I've never had any trouble personally the few times that I've flown, but I did find the security at the Indianapolis airport pretty funny. First you stepped through this big thing that blew a bit of air, and then a security guard was asking most people to take off their shoes. The old woman in front of me who was wearing high heels that had absolutely no top covering except for a couple thin straps was asked to remove hers, so I figured my tennis shoes were a given. I started to remove mine after stepping out of the machine, but the guard stopped me and said I was fine to move on. Just a tad strange.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Just about every time I fly I get taken aside and put into the high security line, though it's not a huge problem since I tend to get to the airport way early.

One time I tried to take a jar of mostly eaten peanut butter onboard an airplane with me (I had a loaf of bread, too), but they won't let me take it since they said it was a gel.

I was speaking idiomatically.

You should have seen the look on the airport security officers face when he saw a rifle in a case that my friend was having to take with her thru the airport. She did competition shooting so it wasn't a big deal but no matter where she went they always gave her trouble over it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I was never detained or anything...but imagine you are a 11 year old girl traveling with your mom from The nearest airport to the Ohio/WV/PA borders (Pittsburgh Airport) to North Carolina. You stuff your suitcase full of pads because of well you know. You send you bag through the scanner and go through a little too fast, or so they say, to and pick up your bag to wait for your mom who's taking a little to long and you had to get up super early and your cranky because of that and PMS. Just as you are about to grab your bag a security guard grabs it before you. They take it over to the table and search through it and they only end up finding the pads and a bunch of clothes.

Seriously...when I asked them why they did that all they really said was I went through the metal detector a little to fast for their liking. I WAS 11 FREAKING YEARS OLD AND CRANKY of course I didn't want to stick around. Besides it isn't like I like to fly anyway, I wanted to get it done and over with. Needless to say I was slightly embarrassed afterwards because they had to ask me what the pads were and what they were for (This would be a male security guard). Not to mention my mom was really unhappy with the way they treated me.

I should be glad it was pre-9/11...or I could have possibly caused us to miss our plane and made to throw away the pads that I so desperately needed for the trip. Needless to say that was the next to last time we ever took a plane anywhere.

FELIPE NO

Way back in 1993, I travelled to France on a school-sponsored trip. We visited a walled city whose name I forgot. One of the girls thought it'd be a great idea to bring back a miniature crossbow as a souvenir for her brother. This item provided no problem while travelling through and from Europe; the French airport officials gave it no second thought. However, upon arriving into Newark, all our luggage had to go through Customs. Several of the girls' bags were randomly flagged for full inspection, including the girl who purchased the crossbow.

Imagine the horror on the officers' faces. Justine was quickly ushered into detention while our chaperones frantically tried to explain to the guards that we were students, not terrorists. The problem was that we had a very short layover and our connecting flight was to depart within thirty minutes. We had no way to reschedule and the airport staff made it very clear that they were not responsible for missed flights due to detainment for carrying questionable items in one's bag. They also wouldn't let the rest of us board until our entire group was cleared of terrorist suspicions.

Eventually, the port officials accepted the truth and let Justine keep her crossbow, provided it remained sealed in a special box they gave her, and it was stowed in the luggage hold where nobody could access it.

But I almost became stranded in New Jersey due to a stupid souvenir.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Something usually happens every time I fly. When I got to PDX to board my flight to Midway, the security guy pulled me aside after being scanned four times.

Because I was wearing cammies issued by the Army when my father was in Desert Storm... They have little metal clasps on the waist band that totally slipped my mind... It took a half hour of complaining before they actually listened to me and visually scanned the top of the pants - a total of one hour in security because of pants...

I'm just glad I showed up two hours early for my flight...

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

Eventually, the port officials accepted the truth and let Justine keep her crossbow, provided it remained sealed in a special box they gave her, and it was stowed in the luggage hold where nobody could access it.

But I almost became stranded in New Jersey due to a stupid souvenir.

Wait a sec, did she have the crossbow in her carry-on?

How ya doing, buddy?

I remember in March '01 at the Toronto airport. I had a bar of soap in a case and the guy made me go through my bag and find it just to make sure it was what I said it was.

Survived that one... Phew.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Only once have I been "pulled over" at the airport. It was a domestic flight within Australia, and I had scissors in my luggage. I had to throw them away, and they were some damn fine scissors.

Fortunately, given my age bracket, nothing came from it. ='D (Mwahaha...)

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Lol Blah.
Australia is fucked ok. Just don't come here, it's awful for foreigners.

I always set off metal detectors because. I carry deadly weapons like the foil in chewing gum packets.

In '99 we managed to get 4 machetes from Port Vila to Sydney accross in our luggage.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Well, 10 years ago on my high school band trip to Arizona, our whole entire group was held up at the Phoenix airport on our way back to LA because one of the girls had a 3-inch dummy round in her backpack.
Ummm yeah, big question here is how the fuck did it not get stuck at security on our way OUT of LAX; but then again this was 10 years ago.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?