Any Married LDS People Here?

I'm about to marry an LDS woman whom I am very much in love with. She is a virgin, and there is some information about the bedroom I would like to know without having to ask her or any other LDS members that I think would know. I do not know what is acceptable in the bedroom. Are they against oral sex? Are there restraints on the position? I've heard a lot of quirky sexual rules from people that aren't even Mormons, and I'm sure a lot of them were made up. Can anyone give me true insight into the guidelines for sexual behavior?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

LDS women like it hard in the ass just like all other red-blooded females. Start out with analingus and whatever you do, don't bring up the multiple wives until later.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

You need to suck it up and talk to your future wife about this.

Or take Deni's advice...but I think mine will leave you less likely to have your marriage last less than 24 hours.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I fear for the soul of that young negro boy, for it is written:

"And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them."

The Mormons that live near me are always accosting me to engage in intense philosophical debates, wearing their bloody funerary attire and wheeling around on bikes. I guess my level of pigmentation is insufficient to put them off.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Here's a valuable lesson I learned about Mormons years ago:

Mormon missionaries: [knock on door]
Harell: [opens door, looks nervously at missionaries] Hello?
MM 1: Is Consuela home?
Harell: Who?
MM 2: Consuela.
Harell: I'm sorry, but you have the wrong address.
MM 1: Well, that's okay.
MM 2: We'd like to talk to you about the LDS church.
Harell: [decides to lie] Actually, you don't need to tell me anything - I am a Mormon!
MM 1: [beaming] Oh, really?
MM 2: It's a miracle!

[beat]

Harell: Yep.
MM 1: So, which Ward do you belong to?

[beat]

Harell: [slams door and locks it]

The lesson? Don't lie to Mormons, cause they can smell sin. Better to follow Midna's advice: talk to your girl and get it sorted out now. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll be a jack-Mormon.

How ya doing, buddy?

If you two can't be honest with each other about this, it could lead to other things you can't be honest with each other about. You should definitely talk to her about it before it blows all out of proportion. What's the worst that could happen? You both might turn a little red while talking about it. But I bet you'll feel pretty relieved once you get it out of the way.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The LDS church itself basically takes a hands-off approach to sex. What happens in the bedroom is the business of the couple in question. Most LDS girls are pretty timid about the whole sex thing at first, as I understand it, so you're best to take it slow.

If she's an active member of the LDS church, it might be beneficial for either her or both of you to talk to the bishop of her ward - he'll have more pertinent advice than some virgin Mormon boy on an internet forum.

PS oral sex is fine and I'm fairly certain that there's no banning on any positions. At least, not that I've ever heard of.

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As one of the only other people on these forums who was raised a Mormon, I can easily say that everything Drex said is accurate. Granted, if either of you go talk to her bishop, you're probably in for a few prodding questions concerning your religion and why you two aren't getting married in the temple, but I'm sure he'll be able to say for sure if any "positions" are banned or not. As far as I'm aware, everything's taboo until you're married, and then once you're married, nothing consentually done between just you two is taboo. But, I've never been married, so who knows?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Ayos

As one of the only other people on these forums who was raised a Mormon, I can easily say that everything Drex said is accurate. Granted, if either of you go talk to her bishop, you're probably in for a few prodding questions concerning your religion and why you two aren't getting married in the temple, but I'm sure he'll be able to say for sure if any "positions" are banned or not. As far as I'm aware, everything's taboo until you're married, and then once you're married, nothing consentually done between just you two is taboo. But, I've never been married, so who knows?

We are getting married in the temple, I was recently converted and when the time comes we'll be sealed. Is everything still consensual?

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Originally Posted by Ender

We are getting married in the temple, I was recently converted and when the time comes we'll be sealed. Is everything still consensual?

Unless you rape her.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Ender

We are getting married in the temple

Oh, groovy. Sorry for assuming otherwise! (And, welcome.) Basically what Drex and I are saying is that as far as we're aware, being married in the Mormon religion doesn't rule out anything that wouldn't normally be ruled out in any marriage. So yeah, rape would be bad, and I get a strong suspicion that Mormons frown on anal sex even between married couples, as well as sadism and masochism - anything to do with harming or being harmed by your spouse, that's probably a no-no, but I can't say for sure. But there's no reason you can't spice things up a bit with new positions and kinky experimentations, as long as she's fine with it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Please tell me you didn't convert for her. Please.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by galen

Please tell me you didn't convert for her. Please.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'd convert for Orson Scott Card.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I came here to find out what LDS was, and Im sorely disappointed that it has nothing to do with long dicks

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Ayos

Oh, groovy. Sorry for assuming otherwise! (And, welcome.) Basically what Drex and I are saying is that as far as we're aware, being married in the Mormon religion doesn't rule out anything that wouldn't normally be ruled out in any marriage. So yeah, rape would be bad, and I get a strong suspicion that Mormons frown on anal sex even between married couples, as well as sadism and masochism - anything to do with harming or being harmed by your spouse, that's probably a no-no, but I can't say for sure. But there's no reason you can't spice things up a bit with new positions and kinky experimentations, as long as she's fine with it.

Thank you (and Drex) for responding seriously, I really appreciate it. I'm not stupid enough to think that anal/sadism/ect are okay in the religion, I was mainly worried about oral sex, and whether anything but the 'missionary position' was okay, since I had heard rumors in the past. Thank you again for replying seriously.

Originally Posted by Senorita Preved

I came here to find out what LDS was, and Im sorely disappointed that it has nothing to do with long dicks

Long Dick Syndrome... that may be the funniest thing I've heard heard. At least your thread-bashing post was funny :\

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Ender

We are getting married in the temple, I was recently converted and when the time comes we'll be sealed. Is everything still consensual?

Well, that puts a new spin on things. Although everything I said still stands, now I definitely recommend talking to the bishop about it. It might seem like it would be weird, but from what I understand it's very helpful. My cousin just got married a week and a half ago, and that's just something that came up when he was talking with either the bishop or stake president, I can't remember which.

When are you going to be getting married? Are you getting married first, then getting sealed in a year?

(PS I'd convert for Orson Scott Card if I wasn't already Mormon, too. :P)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Maybe I'm just totally misinformed, but I never realized that LDS beliefs regarding sex differed from any other denomination. Are they more sexually repressed than, say, Southern Baptists? I doubt it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

We come across as really repressed, and mostly the thing is that rumors about Mormons fly around like mad, and most people don't care to check their sources for reliability or truth. I've had people tell me that I have to have special underwear with special hole for my penis so I can keep it on while I'm having sex - because of course, Mormons have to keep their special underwear on 24/7 and can't take it off for anything. Yeah, that's accurate. (read: not accurate at all what the monkey was that person thinking?!)

Then again, I've also been told that Mormons are part of that Hale-Bopp cult that kills themselves by drinking poison kool-aid in an attempt to transport to the spaceship tailing Haley's comet that will take them to God, or something like that. Yeah, lots of misconceptions about Mormons floating around.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I herd u liek kool aid.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

only the green-jello-with-shredded-carrots-flavored kind

I was speaking idiomatically.

This thread is de-press-ing.

A church which morphs you into having to be so repressed about your sexuality? "I had this mormon chick I'm gonna marry and, like, I can't talk to her about cock or vag."

Is this what the church PROMOTES? Because you know, if it does, well hell. You should all kill yourselves now before your lives get too miserable for you to handle.

The church doesn't forbid communication. TALK TO THE WOMAN. And please, try to use birth control. I know the mormons are all about self-propagation and increasing in numbers, but please. Think.

**Drex, please don't take offense to this post. I am sure you're well aware of the anger the general populace harbors towards the Door Knockers at 9AM. ;_;

And also, is anyone ELSE really suspicious of Ender?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Drex

I've had people tell me that I have to have special underwear with special hole for my penis so I can keep it on while I'm having sex - because of course, Mormons have to keep their special underwear on 24/7 and can't take it off for anything.

Wait...that isn't true?
What the crap?! Freakin' stupid. Someone told you that?
And I was angry when someone told me that the Mormons slow dance by grasping shoulders and stepping far away so the crotches don't touch.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Nahual

Mormons slow dance by grasping shoulders and stepping far away so the crotches don't touch.

Only at church dances.

Alice, while I've never actually studied the beliefs of other churches as far as sexuality goes, I can tell you that Mormons discourage any sort of sexual or quasi-sexual intimacy at all before marriage. Petting, necking, heavy makeout sessions, masturbation, and oral sex are all basically prohibited before marriage. Necking and making out aren't so much prohibited as discouraged since they "lead to other things", but I've had friends unable to be married in the temple right away because they engaged in light petting, and their bishop informed them they needed to repent of it before they're worthy. Sex is held as the most sacred of acts in the Mormon religion, and any sexual contact (read: contact with mammaries or genitalia) should only be performed between a husband and wife.

However, once you are married, you can do what you like, of course.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Ayos

Only at church dances.

...

Spoiler:

You'd have to see what I saw to fully understand. *sigh*

Jam it back in, in the dark.