Man mistakes porn DVD as woman's cries for help

He faces charges after entering apartment with sword in tow

Instincts took over, James Van Iveren says, when he rushed out his door to the sound of a woman being raped in an apartment above.

"It was a woman screaming," he recalled Tuesday. "She was screaming for help."

Sword in hand, he bounded up the stairs, kicked in the door and confronted a man who turned out to be alone - watching a pornographic movie.

"Now I feel stupid," Van Iveren said.

Worse yet, police seized his sword - a family heirloom - carted him to jail and referred the case to a prosecutor who charged Van Iveren with three criminal counts.

"This really is nothing," Van Iveren insisted, "nothing but a mistake."

Van Iveren's "mistake" unfolded on the morning of Feb. 12 when Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was listening to music in the apartment he shares with his mother behind Red & Bunny's Diner on S. Main St.

Suddenly, according to Van Iveren, the distinct cries of a woman pleading for help could be heard coming from the apartment above him. He tried putting them out of his mind at first, but when they persisted, Van Iveren decided something had to be done.

"I don't have a telephone," he said. "I couldn't call the police."

The cries seemed to be coming from the apartment of a tenant he barely knew, but that, Van Iveren said, didn't matter.

"It had nothing to do with him," he said. "I didn't even know if he was there. It was the woman. I thought there was a woman."

The woman, according to a criminal complaint, was on a DVD being watched by the neighbor, who later played part of the movie back for police to point out what he figured Van Iveren heard downstairs.

To Van Iveren, the neighbor's film sounded like a rape in progress.

"So I grabbed the cavalry sword and ran upstairs," he said. "I intended to hold it behind my back and knock.

"But I froze and instead, what happened happened."

According to the criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning, damaging the frame and lock in the process.

"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the 39-inch sword at the neighbor, according to the complaint. "Where is she?"

The neighbor told police that Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he'd heard a woman being raped. With the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone, according to the complaint.

Van Iveren said it wasn't nearly that dramatic.

"I walked in the front room and looked around," he said. "When I saw there was no woman, I left.

"I went downstairs and when I looked out the window, I saw the police had come, so I went out to tell them what happened."

Van Iveren insisted that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.

"I had the sword extended," he said. "But that was all."

The neighbor wasn't home when a reporter visited the building Tuesday, and he could not be reached by telephone.

For his effort, Van Iveren was charged with criminal trespass while using a dangerous weapon, criminal damage to property while using a dangerous weapon and disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon, all criminal misdemeanors that carry a maximum total penalty of 33 months in jail.

"All of them are going to be dismissed," he predicted. "They have to.

"This was all just a big mistake."

The prosecutor who issued the charges could not be reached for comment Tuesday. Van Iveren, who was released on a signature bond when he was charged last week, is due to appear in court March 5.

this is THE MAN!!!




FLMAO!!!!1

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Hahaha what a fucking idiot. Poor guy all he wants to do is sit at home and watch some porn, and his crazy mofo neighbor has to bust through the door with a sword. If i were that guy, I'd probably commit suicide out of sheer embarrassment.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Thats bad. Feel sorry for the guy though, he did have good intentions in his heart. But if the compliant bloke is right about what he's said then the Van appears to be a psycho.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Hey, on the upside, we finally have a guy out for justice...with a sword.

HELLO. HIS NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA. YOU WATCHED HIS PORN DVD. PREPARE TO DIE.

Stuff like this is why I always use headphones when I'm wat...I mean, um, why I don't...watch...porn. Um...ever. Or something.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I think it's partly the fault of the sicko watching the rape porn for having the volume up at max. He's just asking for it. =\

I was speaking idiomatically.

What's the source? Sounds hilarious.

I too also think that the guy shouldn't have been watching the porn so loudly. Painful screaming should definitely attract the attention of neighbours, but at the same time who extends their sword and goes all gungho? Should have just used the tactful method of asking "Is everything all right up here?"

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Quote:

Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was listening to music in the apartment he shares with his mother

Plus the sword... plus the look, damn those fuckin' beady eyes... man... He looks like a Renaissance man! (nice van dyke)

RELEASE THINE PRINCESS, SWINE.

GUILTY

How ya doing, buddy?

You know, I'm not an advocate of the whole "games cause people to be violent" but I believe I'll make an exception just this once.

Being a level 40 Paladin on WoW does NOT give you the power to bust into a stranger's house with a sword drawn.

The guy's 39 years old and lives with his mother. He probably does not get laid. My guess is: he thought he could bust into the apartment all heroic-like, save the damsel in distress, and swoon her with an example of his might.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Haha, now there's something different. Reading the story, I actually felt sorry for the guy until I read the part about him extending his sword shouting. The poor dude was just watching some porn (quite loudly, mind you). The guys eyes just scream maniac to me anyway.

Good thing Van Iveren had a cavalry sword handy for a situation like this...

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quote:

So I grabbed the cavalry sword

CALVARY TO THE RESCUE....eh?

Although who in the right mind would play porn that loudly that even your neighbors could hear it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

He's got such crazy eyes in that photo. The only way this story could be better is if he'd quickly slipped into an heirloom military uniform to match the calvary sword before busting down the door.

Like Dee said though, it's the porn guy's own fault. I'm not one to bust down doors while wielding a sword, but I'd probably call the cops if my neighbor had rape screams coming from his apartment.

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He should have busted in there with a chainsaw.

How's that for dramatics?

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The dude was just looking out for his community. Sure the sword is a weird thing to have, but ignoring the situation is even dumber.

I hope the charges get dropped. He was only trying to help, after all.

I was speaking idiomatically.

In all seriousness, I sort of agree with 'Lix.

But in hilarity, a sword, his mother's house, and saving the princess. Fucking classic.

Turn down your porn, people. Turn down your rape porn.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Uh. Don't you think a knock on the door would have been more appropriate?

FELIPE NO

Nothing is more appropriate than kicking down a door and brandishing a sword.

Nothing.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Denicalis

Turn down your porn, people. Turn down your rape porn.

Whatever. I like to open the windows and put the speakers up to them so everyone can hear. If the whole neighborhood can't enjoy the sounds of a woman getting plugged at every orifice, what's the point?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Vestin

Uh. Don't you think a knock on the door would have been more appropriate?

The article said he pounded on the door before kicking it in.

I think he should be let off with having to pay for the damage he caused to the door. Maybe he overreacted, but he thought he was saving a woman who was being raped, AND he didn't attack the man in the apartment.

The guy watching porn should have had the sense to keep the volume down.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'm still wondering as to the source of this hilarious incident. Although one thing caught my eye, first the reason he gives for going in to investigate is:

Quote:

"I don't have a telephone," he said. "I couldn't call the police."

yet later he says:

Quote:

"I went downstairs and when I looked out the window, I saw the police had come, so I went out to tell them what happened."

So did he borrow someone's phone and still decided to take the glory matter into this own hands?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'm sure he assumed that one of the other people in the building had called the police. Busting down a door, shouting, and of course the rape porn wouldn't exactly be a quiet affair.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

No good deed goes unpunished.

Unbelievable. Someone actually does something to HELP another person, and he gets nailed for it. Too bad the guy with the porn didn't just explain "O, ha ha, sorry, my RAPE PORN is too loud!"

If Mr. Highlander there wasn't convinced, he could have just played it back or whatever instead of calling the authorities and having a shitfest.

Pity. I hope the charges get dropped too.

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If his assumption had been correct, he could have potentially saved a woman's life. I don't see what is so hilarious about it when considered in that light. Yes, he made an embarrassing mistake and shouldn't have run around with a sword but his heart was in the right place. If I heard that through a wall, i'd be suspicious too.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The man has no telephone, but owns a sword?

Must have been really good porno.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Yggdrasil

I'm still wondering as to the source of this hilarious incident.

Well, while I don't recognize the exact words used in the original post, I've both seen stories and read about this incident two days ago. If you want to see the video news story, here it is: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17261433/

I personally think the guy shouldn't have been watching his movie with the volume so high. Still, it is quite interesting that the "rescuer" just happened to have a 3-foot-long working sword. Most people that actually possess swords only have ornamental ones that wouldn't cut paper. I do hope that the courts/police let him off with just a small fine, since he was trying to be a good citizen.

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I'm thinking there is more to this story than we're seeing.

I'll betcha anything the dude that kicked down the door was psychotic. Who the fuck runs upstairs with a saber? A SABER for Christ's fucking sake.

He didn't call the cops. ( He didn't have a phone! Bullshit.)
He didn't knock on the door to see what was going on.
He didn't even stop harassing the dude that was just enjoying his rape porn.

He grabbed his saber and charged.

That's reason enough to charge somebody for a crime, I think.

Jam it back in, in the dark.