strange dating

Hi All...

So I don't know if you would call it a date or anything. I just go with the flow, you know? Well, I have gone out with this guy a few times. I like him. We seem to get along well, and talk about everything--from family/friends, life in college/after college, to ex-significant others and such.

Problem is, he won't make a move, and due to a previous bad relationship scare, and my shyness, I won't bring it up. We have been out twice, but talk a lot, and yeah, it's really a nice thing. At times I think he might like me too. Other times not.

What do I do?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'd say just keep spending time with him. If you can't make a move yourself, then your only choice is to wait for him. Just remember that its not always fair to leave it up to the other person. Try sending your own subtle hints. Flirt a little, it never hurt anyone. Sit closer to him, smile and keep eye contact... Just don't expect things to happen right away... these things usually take time.

Also, alcohol tends to get rid of shyness. (Just kidding! Well... it does, but that wouldn't be a good foot to start off on.)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

It's only, what, two dates? How quickly do you want this relationship to progress? Perhaps you are both very shy. It's understandable that he's afraid that making a move on you might scare you away. And you express uncertainty on whether or not he shares the same feelings for you. My advice is to take him out on another date and ask him how he feels about your relationship before you make any moves that would send him away.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Moving this over to the Advice Column.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I don't see anything strange in this. Just keep dating the guy and the truth will become clear. If you're DATING, then there has to be something lying underneath the surface. Maybe he's shy, or maybe he just wants to get to know you better? Let time have it's course and it'll work out. Rushing things is usually a bad idea IMO.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by smartzytarcy821

Hi All...

So I don't know if you would call it a date or anything. I just go with the flow, you know? Well, I have gone out with this guy a few times. I like him. We seem to get along well, and talk about everything--from family/friends, life in college/after college, to ex-significant others and such.

Problem is, he won't make a move, and due to a previous bad relationship scare, and my shyness, I won't bring it up. We have been out twice, but talk a lot, and yeah, it's really a nice thing. At times I think he might like me too. Other times not.

What do I do?

Like Chris Rock observed (is it bad that most of my wisdoms come from stand up comics?), girls are ready to settle down, marry and have kids after something like 3 good dates. Guys are never ready for it. Of course, we do want to get laid. At any rate--two dates isn't exactly living together. The guy may be a little careful, your post implies that he went through some other relationships that ended (presumably badly!), so he may not be hugely enthusiastic to join the fray again.

At any rate, if you get tired of his wishy-washy bullshit, just make a move. Most guys really don't mind, especially if they're shy and clumsy in relationships like this guy seems to be. Perhaps you should see if you can hold his hand or something.

Don't be too clingy or pushy though, that scares the shit out of us.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Just start becoming in tune to the signs. You don't want to ruin a friendship, if at the end it's all thats offered. Maybe "accidentally" brush your hand against his, look for his response. Watching a movie, brush his leg reaching for the drink. Now, don't be obvious about it, it will scare him off. In this situation, getting vocal about it would be a huge mistake. As I mentioned, if he sees you as is a good buddy to hang out with, you don't want to ruin that.

When my friend was dating her husband, she mentioned the fact she just adores carnations after they passed a floral shop. She was hinting, just to see the response. He brought her carnations. Be subtle.

FELIPE NO

If you like him and you want a deeper relationship, I guess you should make sure how he feels about you first, maybe he doesn't have the same feeling as you do at all. I would agree with Lighter, try hinting him (ie holding his hand when passing the streets (you can pretend that you are scared of the traffic), being really close to him (and see if he moves away), ask what kind of girl he likes (maybe he will hint you back: "you!") .. etc) and see what his responses are.

How ya doing, buddy?

do you want to make a move?
keep spending time with him and leave hints if you want something more.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Two dates is certainly not cause to start wondering why a relationship hasn't necessarily taken off. As already advised, just be on the look-out for signs that may indicate attraction as well as gauging his reaction to various things you might say or do to find out whether or not he might be interested too.

When my girlfriend and I got together, we both already had pre-existing feelings for each other while we were dating and within a few days, it just became obvious that we were both attracted to each other. My relationship is certainly not a perfect model of how others get together, but the point is that sometimes you don't necessarily have to come out and ask (or be asked) if someone's feelings are similar to yours. Granted, as some point this may be necessary if a month from now you're still not sure!

Good luck. Keep your eyes and ears peeled for hints. It's possible that he's doing the same.

There's nowhere I can't reach.