How to cut off emotions for a someone

ok, i have no idea how this section is different from AGNST section, so for the time being, i'll just post this thread here so pardon me if i misplaced this thread.

newayz, here's the story, i started liking my friend's girlfriend, whos also my friend, which is a really bad thing, newayz, i stupidly told my friend and the girl about it, which resulted in a really awkward and painful time for all three of us. Then i set the plan to never see her again, and started avoiding her. I kept it up for like 5 days, and then i realized that i dont even like her nemore, so yea, the way for me to end feelings for someone, would be to completely not see them for a few days, then you'll realize that you're able to live on without them, newayz, we're back to being good friends now, but i curious as to what other people would do, to "forget" someone or to cut off feelings for someone.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I stopped communicating with this fellow for four years. After that, I discovered I was finally beyond caring whether we spoke again or not.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Avoidance seems to be the answer for most people. In these sorts of situations, I usually do not reveal myself to the person that I like, and just avoid her until I can stand to confront her as 'just another person'.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I myself have never been able to truly cut off all emotions for someone. It's a trait I have, clinging to vestiges of the past and whatnot. However, recently I cut off a "friendship" with a girl who I cared about very deeply, but she was doing nothing but using me, even physically. So I told her she wasn't going to be a part of my life anymore. Since then I haven't talked to her or seen her, but if I did, I'm sure I would feel ghosts of those former emotions bubbling up from... wherever they bubble up from. And it would be unpleasant. But I'd bite my tongue and keep her at arm's length and probably be somewhat cold toward her, since I know of no other way of dealing with it. Oh, I'd be civil, but not warm.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Hahaha, yeah, familiar topic, good times. You know, there's no quick fix, mate. You've gotta want to feel differently, that's key, and then you've also got to discourage the feelings you're trying to get rid of when they come about. Other than that, I guess you've just got to sit tight and wait. I know of no other way.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Distraction. I keep my head down and try to politely avoid the person concerned until I feel neutral about them.

How ya doing, buddy?

The ability becomes gradually more refined with emotional maturity. Of course, emotional maturity isn't contingent on age (to be fair). I wouldn't call it 'forgetting' someone as much as I would refer to it as 'getting over' someone.

It's become eerily easy for me to take an indifferent stance toward someone. I'm a realist with a very blunt edge. I have very few friends because too many are a distraction. I went three years without seeing my closest friend until we decided to throw a double birthday party for ourselves. He took off from work and flew to my state to chill for a bit before his semester started back up. I had to quit my job to make time to be a good host because they wouldn't grant me leave. They rehired me within 2 weeks, which was pleasant.

I never had an issue with girls. I got more attention than I gave. I've seen it happen where a chick sent her chick friend to advocate a relationship with me. The middle man and I started dating simply because we got to know each other in a way that can't be effectively relayed by a third party. Shy people don't deserve to be noticed, as much sympathy as I can have.

I guess the moral is...good job for being open with your feelings. It's bold. It's sincere. It's uncalled for when it involves someone else's girlfriend, though. Keep that in mind as a general idea and consider yourself fortunate if nobody harbors ill feelings for you now.

Ultimately, being comfortable with yourself is how you cope with 'getting over' someone. As long as you don't have some undying need for affection that you can't fulfill with your own hobbies, you'll be fine. If you're a virgin, you can look forward to losing it to someone you care about and becoming clingy and emotional, then getting dumped for someone else. It happens to all the heartfelt chaps. Just remember, the only woman you'll ever need is your mother, and she isn't good for much now that the deed is done.

FELIPE NO

Personally, I crush my emotions by telling myself it would never work. I make it seem like we broke up before we even started dating. I bring the past up to bury the present so I don't care for someone.

I'm, in no way, saying that it's okay.

From past experiences, I would not recommend that. There are friends I can't even talk to any more because I crushed my feelings for them. In my attempt to protect myself from being hurt, I alienated the same people I cared for, and completly crushed any emotion for them at all.

If you feel you must, there is no completely effective method. There is no garuantee that you'll be better off that you were. Everyone has different needs, and some people can't find a method that works.

Think before you make that descision, make sure that that is what you need, and try not to over do it and make the same mistake I did.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Yes, it might seem evil at first but it seems like the remedy. I got lucky, my ockward episode ended in me moving and then us meeting online oneday. Then we became good friends again so i didn't have to "avoid her". Time away is always good.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Although it's probably counter productive, I finding someone else to swoon over usually does the trick. If there is no one like that at the moment, i end up avoiding them. However, it will take me a very long time to get over it. Cause I suck like that.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I had to totally cut from someone at one point, and, probably by luck, I was able to get over her in a few days... and that was after about 2 years of being fallen for her. But, it takes time to be away and not influenced in order to truly find out what you need to do. For me, it was either be upset with myself or just to let go.... in the end, I realized that I didn't have a choice but to let go.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Similar to some other responses, I will just avoid and forget the person exists until I can summon enough force and power to emotionally destroy them. I am currently in this stage with a former Christian friend of mine that I have cut off contact with. She used me, along with several of my other friends, (including the Wise Vivi) as pawns in trying to convert us to Evangelism, when we were just trying to be friends, and in my case, more than. She was amazingly sly in doing it by mixing a certain degree of flirting and sex appeal to the entire process. After reading an article on certain steps that Evangelists take to convert people, we realized that she was using these exact steps on us. I spend a few minutes about once a week determining how I am going to crush her world when she (supposedly) returns to university next year (Jesus told her to take a year off). Once I make her break down in public and collapse in guilt, I will feel I have avenged any misspent feelings I had wasted on her.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Hahaha. Forget her? Not to see her? Man, the easiest way is to accept the truth, RIGHT INFRONT OF YOUR EYES. Avoiding, and other means of drama makes it a lot more awkward and silly. I mean, you're friends right? Why not let it stay like that.

How ya doing, buddy?

In sapphire's case, it would be best to do what vemp advises. But in general cases to forget people (usually jerks), I would just repeat in my mind that this person is a douche, remember all of the bad things, and naturally I would avoid the person because of the negative things I tie to this person. That is if avoidance is impossible. Otherwise the easier route is to ignore the person.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Kazyl

Although it's probably counter productive, I finding someone else to swoon over usually does the trick. If there is no one like that at the moment, i end up avoiding them. However, it will take me a very long time to get over it. Cause I suck like that.

I second that truth. It's one of the quickest ways to get over it, though results are none too satisfactory. Retrospectively, I tried going that way, but ended up in a state of utter confusion about what I really want and what I am really looking for. None too all too pleasant, I can guarantee you that. :biggrin:

FELIPE NO

I'm going to have to insist that the best way is to just find someone else. The hardest part is working up the energy to look. There are plenty of great people out there and you're bound to find another one once you get out of your depression spell and start looking again.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Just finding someone else can have its problems too. In my case, I really liked a girl for a long time, but I knew I had to let go. I decided to date someone else, but I couldn't get over my previous emotions for the other girl. I subsequently broke up my new relationship. The last thing you want to do is hurt someone else with your emotional difficulties.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Vivi, did you just pick some random person, though? I think if you found someone you were actually interested in, it would've been fairly easy to concentrate your energies on that relationship only.

There's nowhere I can't reach.