Your Occupying Romances (Crushes!)

These past couple years I've found that my mind hops from romance to romance. These thoughts seem to take up a certain section of the brain. Lets call it the "romance chunk." These people who are the subjects of my romance chunks allow my thoughts to come to some peace, on the mere thoughts of their character, future character, their promise, their figure, the things that make them so, their living beauty in the perspective of I. Sometimes these people are people I can engage for a further relationship, and sometimes they are somewhat intangibly out of reach to any result to physical attention.

You could equate the "romance chunk" to what is more simply known as a "Crush." Ah! "Crush!" What a fitting word for those crushing effects that another person can have on you!

I find the feeling of having a crush a very delightful one. Even when these people are out of grasp, it's still an entertaining thought for me personally, to just wonder on them, and fix fantasy scenarios that involve the two of us. If I dare to fix such in the fascination!

So, this is a topic about crushes, more or less. How do they effect you? What do you do about them? (Artistic things may entail here, or actual motions) How do they initially strike you? Stories? Etc.

My most recent crush involves a 14 year old girl. One of my better friend's little sister. I've hung out with her on several occasions and am now quite befriended with her as her oldest male friend. At first I was not able to see the beauty she withheld. But I've been beginning to see her beauty beginning to bloom, and yes I deem her beautiful already! Lest my thoughts shan't breach borders of fiendish sexual lust (almost pedophilic) but I still might entertain thoughts of her body against mine. (Ohhh!) To my delightful behalf I have a good hunch that we share an unspoken attraction, too. She laughs at all the little jokes I make, always gives a little snicker. And now I've been finding myself just making these little charmful jokes for her sake, to hear her laugh, and see her smile. Aw, my heart wrenches so! If there is one thing I possess as a virtue, it's patience. I could wait for this girl to grow up a bit, and to finally engage her. But by no means would I limit myself in the meantime to getting other relationship experience, but I do not shut down any fact of us creating colorful sparks in the future. This is kind of weird, too. Get this: This girl had a file in Legend of Mana, and she had named one of her aquatic pet: "Aquas" before even knowing me! How weird is that!

It's like how people say the want of something is sometimes more satisfying than having it. (Albiet I think this phrase applies to material things more often.) But I emphasise this notion for my situation, the notion of her brings me a contentness, a vial of hope in my breast! If I'm lucky, these crushes will inspire me to write. I wrote a poem for this girl, and hope to have it finalized soon after getting it critiqued by my current instructor.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Er, how old are you? Because having crushes on 14 year old girls just isn't right.




(Sup VG?)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Are you British? And from the nineteenth century?

Anyway, crushes, yeah. They're interesting, when they develop. I don't find that I've had any in a while, though. I find physical attraction, or friendship, or maybe an almost brotherly affection, depending on the girl, but an actual crush, something that I can think about, hardly happens to me now.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Shin

Er, how old are you? Because having crushes on 14 year old girls just isn't right.

Originally Posted by Aquas

My 20th birthday is this december.

Yeah....a six year gap may not be much when your Fifty, but the difference between a 20-year old and a girl probably not even in highschool is huge.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Okay dude... what part of the united states are you in, where you don't think it's a bad thing for 20-year-olds to be attracted to 14-year-olds? (For future reference, the sexual attraction is pedophilia in and of itself.)

I mean, if it's legal, sure, but... well, maybe not so sure.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by HostileCreation

Are you British? And from the nineteenth century?

Haha... yeah, I too would have thought that you were a hopeless romantic, part of the Romantic Movement of the 19th century that got warpped into the Age of Anxiety, hehe...

Well, its good to like someone but I think a 6 year gap certainly is too wide. I guess she sees you more as someone whom she can look up to and learn to be cool from. I think most teenagers at that age would think hanging out with someone older than themselves (and yet not as old as their parents) pretty cool. My only advice for you now is not to let anything taint the friendship you have with your friend's sister.

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I wonder if 14-year-old girls were the inspiration for Shakespeare.

Well, regardless, what My Dreams says is good advice, although I will point out that there have been plenty of times that my friend's sisters, sister's friends, or even girlfriend's friends or sisters, who were far too young for me, displayed this kind of attitude... and I thought they simply looked up to me, then came to find out later they had a HUGE crush on me, were totally obsessing, et cetera.

Scared me lots.

FELIPE NO

When I was 15, I had my first crush... yep she literally crushed me. After I was crushed by her rejection, I fell into a depression/self pity stage. In grade 11, I ended up failing three classes and one credit short of not graduating...

I got over it with help from a close friend, and in Grade 12 figured out my life and did very well in the last two years of High School (Grade 12 and OAC).

These days, if a girl turns me down, then whatever. Just got to move on. Generally, I think about the girls I know, the potential etc., but in the past few weeks, I just play it cool. And if someday I peak a girl's interest, then we will see what goes on from there. I find after about age 20/21, crushes don't really affect everyday life. I mean, you are either going to do something about it or not.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

He doesn't speak like a 19th century english writer. He writes like a foreigner who learned english as a second language.

As far as crushes go, I'm not really fond of them. They're a small degree shy of an obsession, and the focus really isn't on the other person so much as what they do for you. This includes the desire and consequent suffering when are you are forced to accept, day in day out that who you desire is unattainable. It is unhealthy to indulge yourself in crushes.

Which is not to say eliminate romance. Sure, be romantic, enjoy it, but be aware that your feelings are false, your perceptions are clouded, and until familiarity and time give you clarity, you do not love.

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Originally Posted by Ayos

I wonder if 14-year-old girls were the inspiration for Shakespeare.

Well, regardless, what My Dreams says is good advice, although I will point out that there have been plenty of times that my friend's sisters, sister's friends, or even girlfriend's friends or sisters, who were far too young for me, displayed this kind of attitude... and I thought they simply looked up to me, then came to find out later they had a HUGE crush on me, were totally obsessing, et cetera.

Scared me lots.

I agree with you here. Try to trust me that I'm not a pedophile or that I actually want to *ahem* desecrate this girl with my manhood. *sigh* I simply speak of a relationship that I do have healthy reciprocation from the other party in. This isn't exactly the regular crush that is unbeknownst by the other party, and where the one who has the crush pines over the romanticized (more or less) one in a hopeless solitude. I think you guys are exaggerating my feelings for this girl, but I don't outlaw there is SOME lust involved, too. More on the lines of "future lust" OR "future romance."

Perhaps I should rephrase the discussion of this topic to more so enquire on possible relationships or not-as-possible relationships, of which we think about on a daily basis? Romantic thoughts involved?

FYI: I live in the United States, in Minnesota. Sorry if I was unnecessarily flaunting in my type. -_-

And Avalo: I'll take that as a compliment... I guess.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I find when I try to be really stilted and verbose that upon rereading it days later, I am embarassed to have written it. It never appears to be eloquent in the slightest. Instead it's a mass of words that don't really play all that well with one another.

Despite all of that, I still do it. That may be why I was perhaps overly harsh in my judgement of your diction.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It's creepy enough that you feel some sexual attraction to this girl, but a lot of guys your age, just coming out of their teens, still think of themselves as 'just a few years older'. Fine. It's creepy but it's not criminal as long as you keep your hands to yourself.

What I find significantly creepy is that you feel a deep, close attachment with someone who's basically a child. You mean to tell me you feel an adult's attachment with someone who's barely aware of herself as an individual? That speaks to an underdeveloped mentality in yourself, really. Something you try to hide by speaking as eruditely as you can.

You have Issues.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

It's really not as much of a "deep, close attachment" as you make it out to be. I am somewhat fascinated by who she might become, yes. And such fascination allows me thoughts on "future romance." Seriously, "future romance" is the key phrase here. Is there something frigid and cold about this prospect that I don't understand? Can I not have hopeful (and fantastic) thoughts on the prospect of the girl's conscious personality? I don't think you understand my friendly sentiment here, as her friend and possible role model. This is basically me, giving her future character the light of a yound adult's wonderous perspective. In that, there is my romance for her. It's a diverse appreciation.

How ya doing, buddy?

Yes, you sound mildly predatory.

"Oh, I can't wait to see what kind of person this girl will become!" Now, that's something parents and family members can say, but it's in fact entirely too intimate for a friend to say. Instead of having a crush on the future 14 Year Old Girl, why not have a crush on someone more your own age, and more the maturity you would like to see in this teenager?

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When I was younger, crushes were pretty important to me. Having one on someone, or vice-versa, I got a rush. For what reason, I don't know. Maybe it was a heightened sense of sexuality or something. Now, I still have crushes, but now I can rationalize them into either "dating potential in the future" or "fapping potential in the future." In the end, they all seem to end up as fapping material.

FELIPE NO

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Lest my thoughts shan't breach borders of fiendish sexual lust (almost pedophilic) but I still might entertain thoughts of her body against mine. (Ohhh!)

Quote:

To my delightful behalf I have a good hunch that we share an unspoken attraction, too.

Quote:

but I do not shut down any fact of us creating colorful sparks in the future.

You are admitting to having a sexual attraction to A CHILD. Do you get that? It doesn't matter if you mean to wait until she is a little bit older (and by a little bit I sincerely hope you mean to wait until she is at least 18). You're lying in wait for this little girl to mature just a bit more before you take advantage of her. She is 14 years old. You have no business fantasizing about her body against yours now or in the future.

Quote:

I don't think you understand my friendly sentiment here, as her friend and possible role model.

Yes, a friendly role model who shares a "mutual attraction" with a little girl. There's something wrong with you.

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Bah. I was being dense, should have kept my mouth shut. I would never take advantage of this girl. OKAY. And the possibility of anything sexual related is pretty much totally out of the question, and that includes before she's 18. I'm relating on a harmless fantasy. I have plenty of sense to not stoop so low. I'm a friend of the family. But I'm made out to be the bad guy here because of just that, a harmless fantasy I thought I could share because I was in a giddy mood from not sleeping. I understand your concern, I DO! But here me straight that this is a distant fantasy. And I intend no evil doing! NO EVIL DOING!

And honestly I don't jerk off to the idea of such! I actually thought about it briefly and decided that I shouldn't.

My description of my "crush" is for the most part a big hyperbole for my feelings. That I shouldn't have presented publicly. Does it change anything if in my perspective I view her as a girl more mature for her age? Is it just about maturity? What is it exactly? In my fantasy she is depicted as a mature girl, and a blaze burns in her eyes. (Would you be curious to read the poem I wrote on her, perhaps it would justify me more?)

The good that exists here, in my opinion, is that she is revered by me, a friend! Is that not a greater good, for reverence of one another to exist in the boggle of waves and space that exist between people?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Aquas

I am somewhat fascinated by who she might become, yes. And such fascination allows me thoughts on "future romance." Seriously, "future romance" is the key phrase here. Is there something frigid and cold about this prospect that I don't understand? Can I not have hopeful (and fantastic) thoughts on the prospect of the girl's conscious personality?

What you should understand is that this girl will most likely not grow up to match your fantasy of what she will be, or what your future romance might be like.

She's going to go through many physical, mental and emotional changes, because she's still right smack in the middle of adolescence. By the time she's old enough to date, a lot of those qualities that you're admiring now may have changed, or disappeared altogeher.

In that case, why even pin your hopes on her? Wouldn't it be better to find someone else closer to your age to share these feelings with?

And by the way, I'm curious -- how would you feel if she finds a boyfriend closer to her age? It's very possible, y'know.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I understand that. By most means this is a temporary thing, just to keep me occupied (thus the topic.)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Aquas

Bah. I was being dense, should have kept my mouth shut. I would never take advantage of this girl. OKAY. And the possibility of anything sexual related is pretty much totally out of the question, and that includes before she's 18. I'm relating on a harmless fantasy. I have plenty of sense to not stoop so low. I'm a friend of the family. But I'm made out to be the bad guy here because of just that, a harmless fantasy I thought I could share because I was in a giddy mood from not sleeping. I understand your concern, I DO! But here me straight that this is a distant fantasy. And I intend no evil doing! NO EVIL DOING!

And honestly I don't jerk off to the idea of such! I actually thought about it briefly and decided that I shouldn't.

My description of my "crush" is for the most part a big hyperbole for my feelings. That I shouldn't have presented publicly. Does it change anything if in my perspective I view her as a girl more mature for her age? Is it just about maturity? What is it exactly? In my fantasy she is depicted as a mature girl, and a blaze burns in her eyes. (Would you be curious to read the poem I wrote on her, perhaps it would justify me more?)

The good that exists here, in my opinion, is that she is revered by me, a friend! Is that not a greater good, for reverence of one another to exist in the boggle of waves and space that exist between people?

Pedos never think that what they're doing is wrong. After all, they love the kid.

Just because you haven't technically done anything doesn't make you morally acceptable. The simple fact that your sexual thought processes have moved beyond, "wow, that kid'll be cute when she grows up" into "I have such a crush on her, let me just fantasize about her for a little bit...without fapping. For now" means that you've got some serious mis-fires in your brain, and you need to go talk to a professional before you end up in jail for "desecrating this girl with your manhood" as you so delicately put it.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Wow, you guys are fucking harsh. It's just a crush, you lame brains! Dude isn't looking for your approval, he's looking for your stories. As though nobody here has ever crushed on someone they really shouldn't have... What's the point in lecturing the guy? You think it'll change the way he feels? Christ, you'd think he was the only one who ever had thoughts that society might frown upon. It's not like he seduced her with his maturity and dashing good looks here. Damn man, I'm 20 and I've found myself pondering "what ifs" regarding my 14-year-old friend, but it's because we're really good friends, not because I want to bone her. We all think about doing things that we'd never actually do.

And for the record, there's a world of difference between banging an 8 year old and being attracted to a 14 year old. The reason pedophilia is looked down upon is not because the act of sexual intercourse is disgusting, it's because it fucks with the kid's mental development. Clearly he cares about her, and that's the difference. Pedos don't care about ruining a kid's life, they don't care about how they might affect their development, and that's why they're scumbags. Don't come down on this guy just because he has a crush on his friend, and certainly don't try to make him feel dirty because he shares a bond with someone younger than him. Seems to me he knows the difference, so what's the deal? Now, if he went and boned her, that would be a different story, but that's not the case, so lay off. Jesus.

Anyway, in an attempt to put this thread back on course...

I get crushes all the time. A guy I know coined the term Chronic Infatuation Syndrome, or CIS for short, and I"m definately a sufferer. There's a really good friend of mine I've known for about three years now, and I've had a crush on her exactly that long. I've never acted because she never seemed that interested, and I never had the confidence for it in the first place. That's starting to change, so I don't know how our relationship might change in the future, but the outlook ain't bad.

Over the years, I've had a lot of crushes that never came to anything. It's never sexual for me, it's always their personality. I dunno, is it possible to get a crush that's predominantly sexual? How do you guys define a crush, anyway?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Dude, I told a story.

I define a crush as being someone who you fall for quickly, but you never really approach or attempt to make any real move to either a) get to know them, or b) or make any sort of process that would allow an opportunity to ask them out somewhere. Crushes usually involve you very rarely connecting with them mostly due to the fact you are to afraid to talk to them. In the end, when you finally make a move its too late and they know that you have been secretly attracted to them and they response negatively. Their negative response crushes you.

Hence the term crush.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Aquas, I agree, I have been too harsh, and I for one would like to extend an olive branch to you. Please, show us your poetry. I'm sure your feelings are noble and good.

Originally Posted by Phoenix X

The reason pedophilia is looked down upon is not because the act of sexual intercourse is disgusting, it's because it fucks with the kid's mental development.

People don't finish their mental development until well into their late teens. I read about a study that said, in fact, that people don't gain the capacity to really get sarcasm until like sixteen or seventeen, for instance. I mean, just throwing that out there.

FELIPE NO

Uhh, Phoenix, maybe it's just me, but when you've got a creepy crush, you generally don't want to indulge in it, share it around, revel in it like this guy seems to be doing.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Phoenix, you're confusing pedo rapists with the general population of pedos. A lot of them are very caring individuals who listen to their victim's problems, think of them as a family member, often while reinforcing their isolation, breaking down their self-confidence, and making the kid totally dependant on the guy. And so-subtly pressure, cajole, and convince them that they're doing the kid a favor by touching her twat or his prick. "Furthering their sexual maturity" and "Bringing them into adulthood" are two terms I've heard. The headcase ones are the worst, if they don't convince the kid it's shameful, the pedo will convince her that it's totally normal ad he or she's the only one they can trust, and that breaking that trust would be worse than death. And they genuinely do believe they hold the child's welfare as their top priority, even above their own, though they're actually stunting an innocent's emotional growth even if nothing sexual happens.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by a lurker

I read about a study that said, in fact, that people don't gain the capacity to really get sarcasm until like sixteen or seventeen, for instance. I mean, just throwing that out there.

Might be true. A lot of people on the internet can't grasp any sarcasm without obvious verbal cues or rolled eyes. I don't know how well that explains people who manage to miss a </sarcasm> or though.

Jam it back in, in the dark.