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Friends with Benefits... Yay or Nay?
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Meow


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Dec 2007


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Old Dec 26, 2007, 02:47 PM Local time: Dec 26, 2007, 08:47 PM #26 of 43
I do think it also depends on how emtionally attatched you need to be to have good sex. I mean...If its bad sex whats the point?

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Baked Pussy
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Old Jan 3, 2008, 10:37 AM Local time: Jan 3, 2008, 10:37 PM #27 of 43
Friends with Benefits is a bad idea. I won't deny it, but I'll say that only bad experiences came off of it. They were mistakes in the past that I'll keep buried in the past.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Angel of Light
A Confused Mansbridge


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Old Jan 3, 2008, 12:54 PM Local time: Jan 3, 2008, 02:24 PM #28 of 43
I've seen it happen with a few of my friends. I personally haven't had any experiences with it. I probably would of had opportunities to do that kind of thing with a few people, but I'm one of those guys that would probably get attached if ever involved with a friends with benefits type of situation.

To avoid all the drama, if I can't love you then I'm not going to have sex with you; plain and simple.

As people have said before it takes a lot of maturity and a lot of open communication to have this kind of experience. If you don't have at least those two things then there could be a lot of drama headed your way.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
Hachifusa
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Old Jan 3, 2008, 11:05 PM Local time: Jan 3, 2008, 09:05 PM #29 of 43
It's not just something to be cautious about, here. This is really one of those things that you should be absolutely certain that there will be no feelings involved. For example, if both parties are already emotionally connected with someone else, and all four+ people understand that there is nothing emotional, and purely sexual. That might work. The problem is that even with total maturity and understanding an unwanted surge of emotional attachment might/will come up eventually, and that's when it's got to be put down.
Sassafrass hasn't posted in this thread, you putz. You clearly mean me, and you'd do well never to confuse the two of us again.
But you both are so similar, so I forgive myself.

I was speaking idiomatically.
Baked Pussy
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Old Jan 4, 2008, 08:08 PM Local time: Jan 5, 2008, 08:08 AM #30 of 43
I've seen it happen with a few of my friends. I personally haven't had any experiences with it. I probably would of had opportunities to do that kind of thing with a few people, but I'm one of those guys that would probably get attached if ever involved with a friends with benefits type of situation.

To avoid all the drama, if I can't love you then I'm not going to have sex with you; plain and simple.

As people have said before it takes a lot of maturity and a lot of open communication to have this kind of experience. If you don't have at least those two things then there could be a lot of drama headed your way.
I would agree completely. Not loving a person and just having sex with no emotions is very awkward. There's just a gap.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
No. Hard Pass.
Salty for Salt's Sake


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Old Jan 4, 2008, 08:16 PM Local time: Jan 4, 2008, 07:16 PM #31 of 43
I would agree completely. Not loving a person and just having sex with no emotions is very awkward. There's just a gap.
Ok, first, stop using stupid smilies in every post. It severely undermines any point you're trying to make.

And no, having sex with no emotions is NOT very awkward. It's very awkward if you need emotions for sex, or if one person is emotionally invested and the other isn't. You're talking in bad movie terms. Love = sex. No love = no sex. That's not the real world. To consenting adults can have many wonderful orgasms and not need to make a federal case out of it. Your morals are not the world's morals. So no, it's not awkward. It's awkward for YOU.

FELIPE NO


John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD.

Smelnick
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Old Jan 5, 2008, 07:05 AM Local time: Jan 5, 2008, 07:05 AM #32 of 43
Personally, I'd never feel comfortable having a friend with benefits, but that's just my own morals. As for what I think of it, well it's perfectly fine. Naturally, like anything, it can be easily fucked up if people are fuckwits about it. I've seen enough of these relationships end badly simply because one of the sides decided to take it too seriously and get jealous.

In fact, just recently, a couple in my circle of friends stopped talking to each other because of it. The girl decided she didn't wanna share the guy with other girls anymore, and cut him off. He got pissed off about it, and like a fucktard, started spreading rumours about the girl. Basically, it was a reenactment of a typical highschool. That's an example of it turning bad.

But now take for example another friend of mine. He'll fuck anyone. In fact, he has a supply of t-shirts that say 'I fucked *insert name*' and he hands them out to any girl he fucks. Him and one of his friends have been fuck buddies for quite awhile. Anytime he doesn't pick up a girl at the bar, he calls her up and she comes over, or he goes over there and they do it. All it is, is sex. In a group setting, nothing is awkward between the two, and they're rather open about state of their friendship. Neither one applies any kind of emotions or meaning to what they're doing. It's just pleasure. lol.

Anyhow. I'm getting long winded here. As long as the sex is merely sex, then yay.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?
Cameo
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Old Jan 5, 2008, 08:32 PM Local time: Jan 6, 2008, 01:32 AM #33 of 43
They're good in my experience. I did however have one that ended strangely. The girl just called me up one night and said "I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm using you", and promptly hung up!

I didn't really question it as I wasn't particularly desperate, and we're still really good friends to this day, but I do sometimes wish I had said something because it was really good sex, and as far as being used goes, frankly I didn't mind!

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Foleymac
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Old Feb 28, 2008, 08:02 PM #34 of 43
If your not looking for a serious relationship, than its fine. But when either of you get over-emotional or jealous than it can screw things up.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Furby
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Old Feb 28, 2008, 08:22 PM #35 of 43
From personal experience good does come from this but it usually only lasts for a short period of time. Sooner or later one of the party members becomes attached to the other person.

This usually complicates everything..

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Vemp
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Old Mar 26, 2008, 04:30 AM Local time: Mar 26, 2008, 05:30 PM #36 of 43
Mine's doing good so far, but I think she's getting a bit attached. She's started sending me these text messages...

TIME TO RE-ASSESS SITUATION.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
Throwdown
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Old Apr 10, 2008, 11:49 PM #37 of 43
Well...There is a problem with friends with benefits. Each person could have multiple sex with many other people b/c neither feeling committed to each other. And with all the oozing of pelvic goo beware the mighty gonosyphilherpalaids.

I was speaking idiomatically.


I just wanna make it to forty two so I can feel just in every grouchy thing I say or do.
No. Hard Pass.
Salty for Salt's Sake


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Old Apr 11, 2008, 12:46 AM Local time: Apr 10, 2008, 11:46 PM #38 of 43
Well...There is a problem with friends with benefits. Each person could have multiple sex with many other people b/c neither feeling committed to each other. And with all the oozing of pelvic goo beware the mighty gonosyphilherpalaids.


Yeah, sex with lots of people. No way to take precautions there.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?


John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD.

Throwdown
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Old Apr 11, 2008, 09:08 AM #39 of 43


Yeah, sex with lots of people. No way to take precautions there.
Whoops sorry I forgot a condom is like holy barrier and no one will get a STD while wearing one. My-bad.

FELIPE NO


I just wanna make it to forty two so I can feel just in every grouchy thing I say or do.
Ballpark Frank
Regressing Since 1988


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Old Apr 11, 2008, 09:54 AM #40 of 43
Whoops sorry I forgot a condom is like holy barrier and no one will get a STD while wearing one. My-bad.
Internet sarcasm. Ha ha.

Condoms are pretty fucking good at stopping the transmission of STDs (something like 99.9%?). Of course, what really helps is the fact that I, unlike you, don't put it in dirty fucking skanks.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?
No. Hard Pass.
Salty for Salt's Sake


Member 27

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Old Apr 11, 2008, 07:00 PM Local time: Apr 11, 2008, 06:00 PM #41 of 43
Whoops sorry I forgot a condom is like holy barrier and no one will get a STD while wearing one. My-bad.
Yes, because let's avoid anything with a .1% risk involved for fear that something bad could possibly (very unlikely) happen. Best get back into lying in bed and staring at your ceiling in horror.

Jam it back in, in the dark.


John Mayer just asked me, personally, through an assistant, to sing backup on his new CD.

UltimaIchijouji
Gold Chocobo


Member 789

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Mar 2006


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Old Apr 11, 2008, 11:02 PM #42 of 43
Ditched her for the yaoi?
I just had more satisfying orgasms from porn and my hand than I did with her. She was pretty ugly, a bad influence and she was a board in bed.

I figured I was better off without her around. I was right.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
dope
Carob Nut


Member 2054

Level 6.55

Mar 2006


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Old May 22, 2008, 02:16 AM Local time: May 22, 2008, 03:16 PM #43 of 43
Failed in establishing ground rules or at least making sure that there was an understanding of these ground rules. The whole thing went Kaput and ended up like some guilt trip.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
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