Everyone Is John

1 Die Roll Doesn't matter if it's a 1

Originally Posted by Zephyrin

pssst, I actually made John get dressed, so he isn't naked anymore.

Not anymore you didn't

----------------

John looks around. His state of undress in the car is indeed continually beneficial.

In a great act of mental clarity, he reaches out with his mind. Become...the car. Be the car! YOU ARE THE CAR.



Good point, spend all will to make sure this happens.

Hmm. How...odd. What a strange sensation. John thinks he still has arms. And a head. But wh...

WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB



Thread is now Everyone is Wheeljack

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Skills achieves his obsession! 3 points. John's mind now inhabits the chassis of a '73 Gremlin. His gas tank is full, but his left rear tire is under-inflated and he's out of wiper fluid. His former body, useless meat-sack that it is, rattles around in the driver's seat. Rattles around in the nude.

BID!

Alton 7
wvlf 7
Deni 6
Acer 7
Skills 0 (3 points)
Uzuki 10
Tritoch 10
Zerg 10

How ya doing, buddy?

NOBODY BID EXCEPT DENICALIS

SO I GUESS HE WINS THE BID

YOU JERKS

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll MINE IS AN EVIL LAUGH

Stomping through downtown traffic as a giant robot was pretty great. I used my talent with impressions to make my demands in a robot voice.

"I demand the world's supply of diamonds for my time freeze ray, or I'm going to... I don't know, smash babies, or possibly murder a bunch of nuns. Evil stuff."

As I, Wheeljack, stormed around the downtown in search of an orphanage, I waited for the camera crews to show up before I summoned an army of squirrels to me, evil squirrles, who bit old ladies and raised hell.

Surely this would cement me as a proper super-villain.

(spend 2 to insure victory)

Most amazing jew boots

Let's just call this a Skills/Deni tie game, shall we? Yes, let's.

Another grand failure in the Teach GFF To Play Things Other Than Werewolf Project.

FELIPE NO

It isn't your fault, Pang.

GFF is whiny, stupid, and afraid of new things.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I was enjoying it, even though I never got my turn in John's head. I evidently wasn't bidding enough when I wanted to take control, and only about half of the situations he was left in prompted me to vie for it. Before Pang brings it up, no, I didn't want to be Wheeljack. Maybe the bids would work better if they weren't bids. Just assign everyone a number, role, and auto take points from the winner. Keep it to a smaller group. Game would flow more better.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Dr. Uzuki

I evidently wasn't bidding enough when I wanted to take control

Yeah, not to blame anybody for this but one of the prime things that made the game feel slow is everyone's amazingly conservative bidding strategies. Nobody ever bid more than 3, and 85% of all bids were 2 or less with quite a few 0 bids. There's no rule against 0 bids but what happens if EVERYONE bids 0?

It didn't help that some people honestly seemed to think that John needed to roll just to put his socks on or flip a light switch, which resulted in very brief, unsatisfying turns.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I was waiting for the right circumstance. I thought Deni still had the rest of his turn left since attacking old ladies with squirrels (evil Great Lakes Avenger, ho!) doesn't seem like they'd make someone an internationally-renowed supervillain. I was planning to segue his further terrorist activities into blowing up Canada. But the game was called, so...

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Yeah. What about a robot smashing orphanages while summoning squirrels to attack old ladies would possibly draw the attention of the international media.

Stop ruining every single game, Zerg. Just stop.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

What are you going on about? The game is over. What's there to ruin?

I'm not even complaining - it's my fault I failed to "act" in this game. Just giving a rationale for my thought process.

I guess if you're a dick, you think everyone's out to be dicks. Get that stick out of your ass already.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Rune Factory on cocaine

WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB

Just dropping in to say that you are a huge nerd holy shit.

( <3 )

e: also loool @ Deni/Zerg fight for the millionth time

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

What are you going on about? The game is over. What's there to ruin?

I'm not even complaining - it's my fault I failed to "act" in this game. Just giving a rationale for my thought process.

I guess if you're a dick, you think everyone's out to be dicks. Get that stick out of your ass already.

I'd rather be a dick than an inspiid, constantly irritating twit.

I don't think you ruin games by complaining about them, I think you ruin games by taking part in them. And I'm hardly alone in that. How's that ban from a bunch of D&D threads treating you? Good? I'm glad.

I'm sure you had spreadsheets upon spreadsheets of cool ultra optomized everyone is john plans, but no one cares. Everyone in these games already hates you, and instead of backing off like a sane person and reevaluating your approach, you just kick down the wall like the fucking Kool-Aid man and keep doing THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN. You are creepy as fuck with your overbearing pawing at people in D&D. You are like fucking fun cancer. You see a body of people having a good time, and your immediate reaction is to insert yourself in them until all the fun is dead. You murder entertainment. You kill joy. Stop doing that. I don't know if you're an aspie or what your fucking problem is, but whatever little personality quirk you have that causes this sort of behaviour needs to be dealt with. If anyone else had come in and ran their mouth, I wouldn't care. But I hear person after person complain about you, and I am getting even more sick of it than I already was. You don't want to take Pang's little hints to shape up? You don't want to listen to Skills joking little barbs?

The don't listen to Zerg thing? Not a goddamn joke. People mean that. You think I'm a dick? Guilty. You think I have a stick up my ass? You're mistaking my utter loathing for the way you ruin every damn game here for general attitude problems. And yet I can play these games without alienating half of the people in them. Brady and LeHah, a guy with a brain problem and the most hated person on these boards short of a child molestor didn't make everyone hate them.

What does that tell you about how you're approaching things, hm? I'm sure you'll rationalize this in your fucked up head as one man's attack on your perfectly acceptable behaviour, but it just isn't. I'm just the most blunt about it. A lot of other people have been saying the same things in much nicer ways, and you don't want to listen.

Start fucking listening.

In summation: Stop doing an Elixir impression. Everyone hated him.

FELIPE NO