Ever hurt yourself stupidly?

My most recent stupid self-inflicted accident involved an oven at 450F.

I had a ring on my right, middle finger. When I reached in the over, the ring got caught on the rack of the oven. For just a TINY SECOND, my skin touched the metal.

I am left with this awful looking burn on my right, middle finger.

Aloe plant, however, makes this not so much an issue.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

When I was fifteen, my brother pissed me off so I took after him on foot, chasing him through the entire house. He sought refuge in my mother's bedroom, between her bed and the far wall.

Thinking myself a daredevil whose rage would be a sure catalyst for grace, I leapt over a couple laundry baskets so that I wouldn't have to slow down and alter my course. Naturally, one of feet didn't clear the basket and became hooked in the plastic mesh. Down I tumbled, head first, until my face landed on the exposed surface of my mother's bowling ball. I felt a sharp pain and as I lifted myself from the wreckage, I sensed a warm drip running down my neck. I'd bitten clean through my lower lip and would require several stitches.

On top of it all, I was grounded for several days for terrorizing my brother, even though he was the one who kicked me first and set off the whole footrace. As if a perforated lip wasn't punishment in itself.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I've had plenty of these involuntarily stupid-induced injuries but the most recent one that I can recall was a couple of weeks ago when I was in Mexico. See, I was basically drunk and/or stoned for 2 weeks and I came down with a god-awful cold, not unlike the one I have now. When I was forced to sober up because I couldn't go out anywhere anymore, I realized that parts of my body were hurting and I couldn't for the life of me remember how I got the vast majority of these pains. I had a bruise on my thigh, about 3 or 4 bruises on my ribs and another one on my right calf. These were probably induced by some kind of drunken stumble and, according to my cousins, I had more than one of those. However, the one that I DID remember, was this really awful burn I still have on my right index finger and it's only now starting to scar over.

Smoking 3 joints a night to the hilt without a clip is NEVER a good idea.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I was feeling a bit giddy, so I decided to kick off a wall. I landed on my foot wrong and ho shit ankles don't bend that way fuck god ow shit dammit bitch bitch sass BARBARA STREISAND

One trip to the emergency room later, and I'm given some crutches and told it was a sprain.

I was speaking idiomatically.

One morning a little less than a year ago, sometime around mid-December, I was attempting to leave for work despite a thick layer of snow and ice coating the parking lot. It was my day to open, and the district manager never allowed the store to close unless the highway patrol issued a notice that we had to. I got in my car, pulled out of the space, and it refused to go forward. Somehow I managed to perfectly swing it into another parking space, but it was still sticking halfway out into the road and it was impossible to push on the ice alone. I ended up standing out in the blizzard for about half an hour with one maintenance guy waiting on the other one to show up with stuff to melt the ice preventing my car from backing up.

By the time the other guy finally showed up (and the first one had gone), the heat from my car had already melted the ice enough to allow it to back up. He looked at me like I was an idiot, as if there had never been a problem to begin with, and drove away. As he was leaving I muttered "Well, that was embarassing." No sooner had I said that, I slipped on the ice and landed on my side. Bruised my hip nicely, but the palm of my right hand took most of the weight and had a deep gash that bled for about 45 minutes. The scar lasted for a couple months, and I felt pretty dumb every time I saw it.

How ya doing, buddy?

[QUOTE=♪^___^♪;672992] I was brutally introduced with a road sign that stood there. /QUOTE]

You have road signs in the country where you life?

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Maris

You have road signs in the country where you life?

You are, by far, the stupidest person on the internet. Never touch a computer again. Don't even look at one. Just stop.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I once saw a road sign on the street beside my apartment. True story.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I had done stupid things that could had killed myself. The biggest one to memory is I was 12 or 13, I rode a bicycle around this quiet (not much traffic) neighborhood quite often to reach a friend's house. Just like any other summer day, I rode around the corner and up the hill while I was looking to the left (her house is just on the left side after the street to the left) to see if she was outside. I turned slightly to get on this said street but out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big brown beater heading right towards me.

As I was riding up the hill, she didn't see me or possibly I didn't hear her horn so we just collided. The front wheel of my bike just hit her bumper quite hard and knocked me off of the bike. My brother's bike is pretty banged up and he's outright pissed about that. I was shaken but okay but what's hilarious is the woman of the beater was pregnant and she still managed to lift that bike onto the beater and took me home around the block. I imagine she was a nervous wreck realizing of it all, which is hilarious because back then I was concerned about not getting in trouble for not paying attention to the road! o.o' I'm just glad she drove at slow speeds.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Bigblah

I once saw a road sign on the street beside my apartment. True story.

Saw? I once obeyed a road sign when it told me to bring my vehicle to a complete stop.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by sprouticus

Saw? I once obeyed a road sign when it told me to bring my vehicle to a complete stop.

A MAN CHOOSES. A SLAVE OBEYS.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

You are, by far, the stupidest person on the internet. Never touch a computer again. Don't even look at one. Just stop.

It's almost as ridiculous as a story I heard where someone thought that ketchup packets didn't exist.

Anyway, my story... When I was 6, I was in the living room doing some work on a desk we had in the room. As I got up, I bumped into the desk causing the really sharp pencil I was using to start rolling off the desk. It rolled right of the desk and the point went right into my right foot. It didn't 100% impale my foot, but it ended up just stabbing right through to give me a nice little scar to remember it.

Another moment was probably about two years later. Me and my brother we ready to go for swimming lessons down at the community center near us. As excited as I was, I starting jumping on the couch. As I jumped down, my knee caught the corner of a plastic storage container. You know those square ones with the two flaps that close the top of it to store crap? Those. My left knee caught the corner of it and gave me another nice little scar to remember it. It was also weird that day swimming with that bandage on my knee. It was waterproof, but it just felt awkward.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I was basically playing with my cat, when he ran around me and into the kitchen.
Standing in the doorway I tried to turn around as fast as I could to intercept him, but I come to a complete stop all of a sudden.

I had pretty much banged my right shoulder into the concrete door frame, at first I didn't realise what happened, but seconds later I had to lie down and laugh a to avoid the pain.
Was like I had a vice pinching my skin, not very pleasant.

I still have a sore from it, it didn't bruise.
It like, crushed blood vessels.

Don't know how I pulled it off, but I did.

How ya doing, buddy?

About 5 years ago.

Just got off from a long long day of waiting tables.

I'm exhausted. I'm trying to get out of my car.

At the same time I've realized that I've left my keys in the seat, I reach in to fetch them, as I'm slamming my car door.

I slammed my own head in my own car door.

I'm alone. I fall to the ground. Instantly. I can't see anything.

When I finally realize what's going on, I crawl upstairs to my apartment.

I sleep for 5 hours. I wake up and try to call a friend. I can't dial the numbers.

It took me like 5 minutes to get his number into my phone.

He takes me to the emergency room. I've given myself a concussion.

I have to be woke up every 3 hours while I sleep to make sure I don't slip off to dead land.


(... and the secret's out.)

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Thud.

(... and the secret's out.)

.... that you're a zombie? Honey, everybody knew that. You posted pictures in your journal.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

... that I'm brain damaged. But I guess I post those pictures in every journal entry.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

as a 4 year old, as most 4 year old boys do at one time or another, I had to pee REALLY bad. so instead of going potty, i just stood there in the backyard holding my little peter to keep pee from coming out as 4 year old logic explains. my dad soon realizes this and yelled for me to stop holding myself and go to the bathroom. this for some reason, made me mad at my dad. I went inside, cleverly locking the door once I got in, to forever leave him out in the cold FOREVER.

in my hurry to relieve the little smokey of it's golden water, I ran towards the bathroom, dropping my pants along the way because I REALLY HAD TO PEE. as I reached the bathroom door, I tripped over something. whether it be my own feet or the bath mat, I introduced my forehead to the corner of the sink. that was the moment I realized you could bleed and pee at the same time. my mother (pregnant at the time with my little brother) found me on my knees in a puddle of piss and blood and of course screamed her f'ing head off for my dad, who was at that point, unable to get inside the house because i'd locked him out.

the rest is foggy to me. I remember sitting in my mom's lap in the car on the way to the emergency room with a cold wash cloth on my head, laying on the operating table and feeling what i thought was stitches in my forehead (turns out to be some sort of numbing meds) as the plastic surgeon fixed my head and then going into the little kids toy room to get a toy as a reward for causing panic, fear and a nice hospital bill. Oh and then we went from the hospital to my cousin's birthday party.

that was the coolest day of 1983 and not even The Return of the Jedi could top it....

so regardless of the fact that I was 4 years old, it was stupidity and ignorance that caused me to live with a scar for the rest of my life.

i'm including a picture of 4 yr old me, stitches and glittery pink panther shirt included, as a reminder to never run with your pants down when you have to pee really bad after locking your father outside in the cold when your mom is pregnant.



There's nowhere I can't reach.

I've always liked to climb things, which has led to no end of trouble. When I was five, I climbed a fort my parents had built against our house, and got onto the roof. Combined with the fact that I had just seen Peter Pan, and was convinced I could fly, this then led to me leaping off the top of our house and crashing to the ground (near my sandbox at the time), where I broke my arm in two places (bone popped out at one of them). At five, this was kind of a mixed bag, as it didn't hurt much after the initial event, and the cast was a great weapon to use on other kids at daycare. Unfortunately, the doctor got me with his buzzsaw when he was taking it off, because my skin popped up into the gap, and I ended up with a 3-4" scar along my arm.

More recently, this climbing problem still tends to come out when I'm drunk, and get to feeling I'm a monkey. A few weeks ago, during a party at my friend's place, I got to that point, and figured I would scale the side of his house with my bare hands. Did ok, considering my state, and made it to the second story. Unfortunately, his siding wasn't all that good, and when I grabbed one section, the whole strip came off, sending me out into space. Landed flat on my back in his lawn and couldn't even breath for several seconds. Had a nasty pain in the back of my head for a day, a sore back for several, and thanked my luck I didn't do more.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

If I cut off every finger and toe for every time I hurt myself, I would then have no toes or fingers left, and that would be stupid, right -_^ j/k

Speaking of fingers, I remember not long ago I called for a cab, stupidly I tried to open the door by the cars window, the cab closed the window over my fingers, youch!!!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

*ahem* When I was small, which I use as some sort of justification for its stupidity, I gave myself a black eye with a belt buckle....*hangs head in shame*

I was speaking idiomatically.

I used to get into a lot of scraps with my brothers when I was younger. One particular time I was running away from the elder of the pair, who, being much taller than me, had the ability to pick me up by my ankles and drop me on my head (still does actually, he did that to me a few months ago). Not wanting a sore and fuzzy head for a few hours I pelted up the stairs, him in hot pursuit, ran for my room and made an epic dive for my bed. Apparently I was more athletic than I thought; sailed right over my bed and went headfirst into the wall. Just to add insult to injury, my parents reprimanded me for being so noisy.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Sakabadger

One time I was trying to pull the cap off the end of a pencil (it was some Asian stationery trinket) and it just wouldn't come off. I had to apply much force and, not paying attention to which way the pencil was pointing, ended up stabbing myself in the leg with the tip when the cap came loose.

yeah me too and there's been a permanent mark on my thigh since 13.

There was this one time in winter i was trying to catch a fully loaded bus and the urge to get on it took over my rational side so i tried to run through the iced lawn in front of my college. needless to say i fell, butt first 20 feet away from my target. The most stupid thing is i was eye-balled by everyone on the bus, which i eventually got on........

FELIPE NO

Either my mind is blocking recent stuff out, or the only funny things that spring to mind for me are from a few years ago.

I helped a friend move some junk on a weekend from their garden and stupidly thought I could break a worn soggy bit of chipboard in half by headbutting it, yay for entire weekend long headaches!

The other time involved a beach, a bunch of friends and an inflatable raft, but the only person who actually got hurt was me! It happened when I was the only one in the boat, within minutes of people getting out to get food so it was just me and one other guy left.

He got out the boat as I attempted to row it closer to land, then the waves promptly capsized the boat, tangled my right foot in the handle ropes and dragged me sideways with the currents about 50 metres before we managed to regain control of it. For some reason I laughed during the whole thing, but I can't think for the life of me why now

This 3rd thing had nothing to do with me, but as a witness it's too stupid for me not to share, I was giving a bunch of new people a tour of the college I was studying in. Meanwhile behind me as I talked to the group, about a football pitch length away on the 3rd floor of some spiral stairs...

"I've jumped down from these stairs before!"

"haha yeah right"

"don't believe me? I'LL DO IT AGAIN THEN!"

He then promptly leapt from the stairs to the ground, scaring the crap out of everyone which made me turn around wondering wtf was going on. We couldn't get near him due to the crowd, apparently after he fell he said "I don't want to die" and I'm willing to wager he did those legs some serious damage.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I consider myself very stupid , yet my stupidity never led to me to getting hurt .
It has got other people to be hurt tho.
I remember when being a kid , my friend jumped on chairs (like kids do sometime), for some reason i tought pushing him whould be a good idea. no need to say the results weren't good.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The window in my dorm room open inwards, and it's this massive, heavy duty one with two handles on either side to lock the window shut. Plus it's almost 5 feet across. Metal. So anyways, I went into my room to grab a bottle of water from the case stowed under my bed, so this required me to bend over. As I was bending back up, I hit my head on the metal edge with full force. Needless to say, my head hurt for over a week, and the initial impact brought tears to my eyes--I couldn't even help it ahaha.

Not entirely stupid, per se, but I was fully aware of the window as I was bending down.

There's nowhere I can't reach.