[DnD] Of Kobolds and Castles - D&D Learning Adventure I

1 Die Roll SQUISH

HONK HONK

COMIN THROUGH MOTHERFUCKERS

Charge to AB-5
Ardent Strike on Minion.
squelch

OH YEAH BABY THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN B'MORE

Most amazing jew boots

2 Dice Rolls Shared Madness

Daituk hears the commotion going on at the other cave entrance and doesn't think very long before figuring out what happened. As he starts measuring his Blade out to see if the serration is heavy enough to work as a valid can opener, he turns and spots the kobolds in front of him staring blindly at him and the dwarf.

At least this time they got the chance to make their entry before their position was made known to everything in the vicinity of a 12 foot organ pipe out in the open air.

Shared Madness to kobold at AI24, relayed to the one at AH25
Yippee



Thankfully, these kobolds are just as flimsy as the last group they encountered. As two of them fall at the mere sight of the Gith, Daituk is confident that this should not take long.



How ya doing, buddy?

4 Dice Rolls punching hit

Optimal Lime, as I think the construct called itself, went for the first kobold around the corner; After rushing over, I tried to assist my associate in his attack, but my fist just seemed to bounce off the rat rather then do anything harmful

Charge to AB22
Basic melee attack against the kobold if Prime didnt kill it, otherwise I stand there looking menacing
and ignore those previous dice rolls

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls Perceptive

Confused to where to start or to hit or to move, she is at a stand still.

Remain in Shade Form

There's nowhere I can't reach.

As battle breaks out, the adventurers race in. All except Thia, anyway, who opts to instead resume her less substantial form. Prime crushes a kobold skull, and Daituk drives two of the less powerful kobolds insane will little more than a glare. Now, however, the fight begins in earnest.

As Truckbus rushes forward, he spots large pile of what appears to be gold in the far corner, along with a particularly large goblin sitting back and dozing away.

3 minions down. Enemies are no longer surprised.

ROUND 1 Daituk 23, Skirmishers 21, Truckbus 21, Thia 19, minions 18, Prime 12, Zeno 7

How ya doing, buddy?

1 Die Roll Kobold crushin'

Though the kobolds are flimsy, Daituk learned the hard way in the last fight that their blades are still sharp enough to be wary of them. Since the dwarf has proven in the very short time they have traveled together that he is quite headstrong, Daituk decides to try and keep his back covered as best he can.

Move to AF23
Oath of Enmity on kobold at AE24
Overwhelming strike on same


Squish goes the kobold.



I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

1 Die Roll GOLDGOLDGOLDGOLD

goldgoldgoldgoldgoldgoldgoldgoldgoldGOLDGOLDGOLDgoldgoldgoldgoldgoldgold

Move to AF26
Strength of Stone on AE26
Kobold go smoosh
+4 temp HP
Mark skirmisher using Nature's Wrath.

I was speaking idiomatically.

6 Dice Rolls CA bonus

Daituk moves forward and crushes another kobold, trusting the dwarf to watch his back. These kobolds were certainly a lot less irritating when you got the jump on them, instead of the other way around.

Truckbus gets terribly excited at the sight of shiny objects, but finds himself unable to move due to a strange power.


Three kobolds armed with spears and shields move towards Truckbus and Optimus. Prime can't quite block the incoming attack from his opponent. Truckbus easily dodges his first attacker, but doesn't see the second one coming and gets a spear in his already rather sore rear as a result.

4 damage to Prime, 10 damage to Truckbus.


new - colors! this might help identify different enemies, instead of using clunky coordinates all of the time. There's generally too many minions to do it for them, though, so.

Truckbus 21, Thia 19, minions 18, Prime 12, Zeno 7, ROUND 2, Daituk 23, Skirmishers 21

also just realized i never put the defenses up - come on Hawk, get with it.

Minions - AC 15; Fortitude 11, Reflex 13, Will 11
Skirmishers - AC 15; Fortitude 11, Reflex 14, Will 13

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

1 Die Roll Strength of Stone

As Truckbus attempts to go for the gold, a voice echoes in his head.

"Now, Truck, I thought I told you. You cannot hear the voice of the earth when you are blinded with greed. You would risk that silence for mere gold?

The dwarf stops in his tracks. It had to be his imagination. He glances at his sword. The old man is long dead. There's no way--

His thoughts are rudely interrupted by a spear in his behind. Truck yelps as he realizes that in his hurry to get to the gold, he has allowed Daituk and himself to be surrounded by kobolds.


Shift to AG23
Strength of Stone on Red

Marked.


FELIPE NO

4 Dice Rolls melee attack

I was beginning to get the idea that my MANLY body wasn't as durable as the construct, a thought which terrified me.

I decided to take out this terror on the nearest kobold which was conveniently right next to me.

melee basic attack against Kobold @ AA25

My fist smacked its head hard. "Take that, stupid rat creature!"

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

1 Die Roll Hit

Zeno, you should at least stay back because you know, being shirtless and all doesn't mean you're MAN enough to take anymore punches.


Move to AB25
Assassin's Shroud to Skirmisher AA25
Shadow Storm to Skirmisher AA25
Remain in Shade Form


And it is a miss. For whatever reason, since that robot showed up or Zeno used up his last healing surge or that Luciel had left, Thia has been feeling a little less motivated from what she used to be. Maybe its that damn glue. She amuses herself wondering why there's even gold at the end.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

6 Dice Rolls AH23 vs. Truck

Zeno rushes around the corner, taking a spear in the ribs as he turns away from the kobold next to him. As he rounds the corner, he fells a kobold which is as surprised to see him as he is to see it. Zeno does nothing of the sort. Zeno waits patiently until the gods of the universe say that it's his turn.

Zeno takes an OA for moving out of a square next to an enemy. Takes 6 damage, is bloodied. Ignore those dice rolls.

Over half of the wimpy looking kobolds are already dead, but those still standing fight with desperation. But the stress is clearly getting to them, and they fumble about uselessly.

All minion miss.

Prime 12, Zeno 7, ROUND 2, Daituk 23, Skirmishers 21, Truckbus 21, Thia 19, Minions 18

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1 Die Roll BIFF

Who is this guy. Why is he here? Optimus is unsure.

He tries to axe it a question.

dammit

He fails.

*roboshrug*

Divine Challenge Green

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

2 Dice Rolls Damage

The construct seemed agitated and I could understand why, these things were awfully persistent. I continued my assault while the kobold was distracted by the loud war machine.

Basic melee attack against Kobold @ AA25

My fist smacked it hard once more, and I wondered for a moment how the others in the second area were doing.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls I said I cut you up

Daituk is somewhat baffled by these kobolds' insistence on stepping forward to be slaughtered. Then again, is it a surprise that worshippers of the undead who want to become the fetish of their buddies as fast as possible. As he doesn't wish to disappoint, Daituk swiftly directs his blade towards the next lucky lizard on his path.

Oath of Enmity to kobold minion at AF24
Overwhelming strike on same
We have a winner!
Shift to AF24

Having granted another kobold his wish, Daituk immediately steps over the corpse and directs his attention towards his friend who was standing behind him.



I was speaking idiomatically.

6 Dice Rolls damage Truck

Prime and Zeno both take a swing at the kobold in front of them, but they both miss. Prime gives the kobold a glare, as if daring it to try something. It responds by stabbing him in the face. They're kind of jerks that way, really. Both of the kobolds in the other room strike true at their opponents as well.

Zeno gets a critical! ... 4 damage.

6 damage to Prime, 5 damage to Truckbus, 4 damage to Daituk. Skills, Prime's current HP should be at 17 including the hit from earlier.

Truckbus 21, Thia 19, Minions 18, Prime 12, Zeno 7, ROUND 3, Daituk 23, Skirmishers 21

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

1 Die Roll Strength of Stone

Truckbus makes another attempt to split a minion in two, but ends up swinging his sword uselessly instead.

Free Action: Sigh loudly
"I really need an axe. A good old dwarven-made axe."
Mark all adjacent with Nature's Wrath.


FELIPE NO

2 Dice Rolls Melee!

Thia pulls her pants up and decide to be man enough to do much better at this swinging thing.

Shadow Storm to Skirmisher AA25
SUCCESS! 21 vs AC, 13 damage to Skirmisher (am I doing it right)
Remain in Shade Form

She'd move but she's worried that a possible OA would occur and not only that she'd leave Zeno exposed as well. Lets tread lightly here.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

3 Dice Rolls AK27 vs. Daituk

Truckbus gives his sword a hefty swing, but the kobold target he had in mind easily sidesteps the attack and sticks its tongue out at him. Now they were just getting cocky.

Thia has more luck, leaving a considerable gash in her opponent.

Thia does 16 damage to the Skirmisher. Your math was perfect Philia, you just forgot about Shadow Storm's special effect which is +1 damage for each creature adjacent to the target. Skirmisher bloodied up good.

The three remaining runty looking kobolds attempt to do some further damage, despite the fact that most of their kind are lying about in varying numbers of large pieces. The kobold next to Truckbus gets through his armor, but the javelin thrown at him bounces harmlessly away. The kobold aiming at Daituk misses entirely, his javelin landing in a nearby corpse with a squishy thunk.

4 damage to Truckbus.

Prime 12, Zeno 7, ROUND 3, Daituk 23, Skirmishers 21, Truckbus 21, Thia 19, Minions 18

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls bitches ain't shit

Dinged up a little bit, Optimus registers a bit of a problem with his optical sensors.


Listen Mac! Dodge his punch then counter punch!

what


Join the Nintendo fun club today Mac!

The black man starts pounding his shoulder slightly faster. He feels...invigorated! Suddenly, he sees a star over the little green bastard.

Ardent LEFT HOOK
14 damage

YouTube Video

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll Hit

The construct felled the rat next to me like some sort of caged beast in heat, so I took the time to head over to the other side of the cave, whilst eyeing the gold in the far corner.

Move to AE27

Now I could see a better view of what else was bothering us, and decided to puctuate the atmosphere with some energy!

Energy Strobe to Minion @ AF25

My attack just passes over one of their short heads, displaying a very colorful but ultimately futile light show.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

3 Dice Rolls Bleed buddy

Daituk breathes a sigh of relief as he notices the first of his estranged companions coming to join in his and the dwarf's fight.

He takes a step back to get a better swing at the kobold in front of him.

Shift to AE 24
Oath of Enmity on Yellow
Overwhelming Strike on same
10 damage woot
Prepare Divine Guidance if ever someone else attacks Yellow this turn

Daituk struggles with the corpses under his feet as he lunges towards the kobold, yet his blade still manages to cause quite a gash, with a nice spurting blood effect to boot.



I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls yellow vs. Daituk

Prime finishes off another Kobold in spectacular fashion, and suddenly starts hearing cheers come from all around him. Apparently it wasn't just his optical sensors having issues.

Zeno rounds the corner and just misses his target with a flashing ball of energy. Daituk has more luck, giving the kobold yet another thing to worry about. First cards, now this. Today just wasn't going well.

The skirmishers lash out in retaliation. One takes advantage of Truckbus' distraction at being surrounded and makes a spirited thrust, but the dwarf's shield comes around just in time. Daituk parries the attack sent at him.

Both Skirmishers miss. That's the best chance to hit Truck i've had yet

An angry shout comes from the north end of the cave. Zeno can see the speaker clearly - it's a goblin, clearly bigger and tougher than your average goblin. He's sitting in the corner with his eyes closed. "HEY! What's going on over there! If you guys are fighting over your stupid card games again, i swear i'll come over there and fix the problem. And you won't like my solution!"

Truckbus 21, Thia 19, Minions 18, Prime 12, Zeno 7, ROUND 4, Daituk 23, Skirmishers 21

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll Strength of Stone1

Finding himself surrounded over and over again was starting to get tiresome. Truckbus deflects a blow, spins around and handily scalps the kobold standing behind him.

The newly separated cranial section falls into the water. In time, the nutrient-rich blood and brain matter from the hapless kobold will carry out of the waterfall, where it will nourish strings of green, slimy algae growing in the less turbulent parts of the stream. Fish will dart in and around the algae, and as they do, the algae will lend them succor. These small fish in turn get eaten by bigger fish, and the bigger fish? By other fish, maybe. By birds and beasts of various kinds. An occasional bear. Certainly, various tribes of subhumans and humans - a troll looking for his next meal. Human fishermen seeking sustenance for their own.

Terry the fisherman is one such fellow. As he opens his fish trap, a contraption that is essentially a wicker basket with a one-way door, he smiles. A good catch for the previous night. Enough for himself, his wife Alhana and his little girl Olive. Enough for him to sell at the market for some extra coin. He needs grain and fresh straw. And maybe a toy for his little Olive. She will be so delighted, and that will do his heart some good. There have been whispers. Even with only seven summers on her, Olive is already bigger and more muscular than other girls her age and thus needs more to eat. Her peers had already started teasing her - "You big fat troll! You Olive Ogre, Olive Ogre, Ogre Olive har har har." But Terry would not let his daughter wilt under the teasing. "Now, you listen to me, Olive... those other kids? They're just jealous because you're so big and strong. You're human because your mother and I are both human, okay? So there's no way you're an ogre."

Alhana watches from a window as Terry brings back the catch, a dreamy smile on her face as she thinks about that night, seven years ago. Oh, but that ogre was so handsome, and his cock was soooooo big.


Strength of Stone on minion AG22, hit
+4 temp HP
Shift to AF22


What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls Slash SLASH

Thia jumps into action disregarding that silly fat goblin. He can stew all he wants over there. But he's in range long enough for her to send a bug up his ass. She smiled and hopes he doesn't notice in the midst of all that gold that's surely blinding him.

Move to AF25
Shadow Storm to Skirmisher AF24
16 + 8 vs AC, 3+5+4? = 12 damage
Assassin's Shroud to Fat Bastard X33
Remain in Shade Form

FELIPE NO