[DnD] Of Kobolds and Castles - D&D Learning Adventure I

2 Dice Rolls yes, yes, I said overwhelmed

Well it looks like it's on now. Though these kobolds may not be very worthy opponents on their own, their numbers are making them more of a threat than the Gith expected. He spies a couple of stragglers to the south, and decides it might be a good idea to take them out for fear of the group being overwhelmed and surrounded shortly.

Move to AJ8
Oath of Enmity on Kobold at AK9
Overwhelming strike on same

As evidenced by that more than underwhelming strike, Daituk appears to be somewhat out of focus at the moment. Surely it has nothing to do with the fact that the group is basically swimming in Kobolds. That would be ridiculous.

"You there, reptile! That was just a practice swing, but I'm sure you can see what would happen if I actually tried to hit you. You can tell your friends too!"

Those kobolds must be scared something fierce now.



Most amazing jew boots

1 Die Roll sweep them kobolds outta there

Truckbus remains on the dead kobold for a few seconds. He was lost in that moment - that burst of aerial grace, the rush of air around him, the sting of the leaves in his face as he swung through the trees like a gods-forsaken monkey. It felt.. right, somehow.

And then, a barrel of grog rolls past him.

OH GODS THAT GROG IS SO FRESH IT'S STILL MOVING


Move action to stand up.
Exchange standard action for move action.
Move to AH11


As Truckbus runs headlong after the sweet, sweet barrel of grog, a swarm of kobolds appears in his hazy, liquor-crazed vision. He bellows and lets loose an massive overhand swing directly onto the head of the hapless kobold in front of him. "GET OUT OF MY WAY!!"


Action point.
Earth Spikes on Kobold AH12
5+7+1 = 13


The kobold easily sidesteps the blade. The barrel is still maddeningly out of reach. :dwarvensadface:

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls And a Hit!

My brief experiment in attempting teleportation was a complete failure, but with the kobolds moving closer to punching range, I figured I'd be more serious about this and layeth a smackethdowyn on their heads. Plus, get revenge for them attacking me, its only natural.

Move to AK8
Fallen Needle against Minion @ AK9

The rat creature looked downright stunned from my attack, and I couldn't help but chuckle at its predicament.

FELIPE NO

12 Dice Rolls gluepot damage

Zeno and Prime each knock out a koblold, but the rest of the group proves woefully ineffective at removing more of the little menaces from the battle. Thia says something about grog, which distracts Truckbus long enough for him to find himself almost entirely surrounded. The kobolds set to work, poking a considerable number of holes into Truckbus with their spears.

Truckbus takes 12 damage from kobold horde, Thia takes 4 (assuming retained shade form). Both are bloodied.

The sneaky looking kobold takes a jab at Truckbus, but the blow bounces off his shield. The slink immediately backs away, another kobold moving forward to protect it. The slinger has a good deal more luck with its attack, catching Truckbus square in the chest with another of the strange orbs that hit Thia, holding him in place.

Slink misses, uses special ability to move back and switch with the kobold that moved after its attack. Slinger hits Truckbus - 8 damage and immobilized (save ends)

Prime, Zeno, Thia, Truck, Daituk, Minions, Slink, Slinger

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

3 Dice Rolls Save again

Font Of Life: Saving throw at the beginning of the turn.
Save vs immobility.
Critical failure.


The pain of several kobolds stabbing Truckbus brings his beer-crazed bloodlust to a screeching halt - literally. The dwarf finds himself stuck and surrounded by kobolds. He reaches down into the depths of his soul for the strength to endure.


Dwarven Resilience: Second Wind as minor action.
Earthstrength: Gain additional AC equal to Con modifier upon second wind until the end of my next turn.
+10 HP, +2 to all defenses, +additional 4 to AC


A vision of spiced meat and potato pie appears before his eyes. Mmmmmmm, pie. Truckbus feels his strength return to him, like... like.. gravy flowing down a mountain of meat! His eyes fly open. He swings at the kobold in front of him.


Strength of Stone on Kobold AH12
6+7+1=14


Once again, the kobold neatly dodges Truckbus's blow. It seems to be taunting him. Frustrated, Truckbus yells - "I'm going to knock the stuffing out of all of you! Just you wait!"


Nature's Wrath: Free action, mark all adjacent enemies.
Normal end-of-turn save vs immobility... saved.

Truckbus frees himself from the disgusting kobold glue after much straining. Now, NOW, they will pay!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll I CUT YOU

Get the Flash Player to play this audio file:
Robot Mode!



ALRIGHT DECEPTIJERKS, IT'S GO TIME

Charge to AE8, time to smack a bitch.
6+6+1=13 = Miss, fuck

Seems like Optimus has the same accuracy problems with his weaponry here as he does everywhere else. Next time STOP, THEN slash. Yes.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

2 Dice Rolls TASTE MY

With one Kobold down, I figured his equally annoying comrade nearby should get a taste of my fist as well.

Move to AK9
Fallen Needle against Minion @ AL9

Oh yeah, I was on a roll

How ya doing, buddy?

2 Dice Rolls PUH-TOW

Now that these stragglers are taken care of, Daituk knows that the circle will be the place to be. As such, he heads in to help out the until recently drunken mad dwarf out of the tight spot he's found himself in, determined to at least get a hit in this time.

Move to AI10
Oath of Enmity on Kobold at AI11
Overwhelming strike on same
oh boy max damage

And Daituk smugly watches the kobold fall beneath his blade.

The smug bastard.



I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

3 Dice Rolls Staying Frosty?

Hey Prime. I'm bleeding here. Can you give me your oil? She pleaded as she sweats unhealthy amount of drops from the nasty gashes from those blasted kobolds.

Disappointed in Oscar, she wants to try something else with that barrel. She thinks for moment and realizes that PRIME is a robot. What she could do next should inspire him to graciously appreciate her ingenuity.

Assassin's Shroud to Slinger

The barrel then sprouted a sorts of mechanical functions that appears similar to R2-D2. Oh yes, its now looking rather very ominous does it. Thia then turns to focus on the baddie that is standing to the right of her. She's only glad that the bastard is close enough for her to attack.

Shadow Storm to AE10

There! She grins as she made the attack with her sword with dark clouds swirling around the kobold. She then sighs and wonder when this damn glue can be washed off of her.

I was speaking idiomatically.

8 Dice Rolls slinger vs. Zeno

4 damage to Truck (bloodied again), 2 damage to Thia. Will add flavor later, have class shortly. They stabbed a lot, Truck was a tank, etc. etc.

Prime, Zeno, Thia, Truck, Daituk, Minions, Slink, Slinger

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

1 Die Roll CRONK

With no time for bullshit, Optimus just plants his axe clear halfway into the skull of the little green decepticon in front of him.

Virtuous Strike vs Minion AD8. Squished.

Despite all his smashing, he notices this little wispy person thing standing next to him. Bleeding or something? Do shadows bleed blood? Do shadows even...uhh...well, this is too much to think about.

SO HE PUNCHES HER IN THE FACE.

WITH ENERGON.

Lay on Hands Thia

The punch makes such a loud exploding noise that Thia is instantly liquified and then wraps ALL THE WAY AROUND to being a whole person again. Optimus is just that great.

The noise is so loud that the nearby kobold goes insane with robot envy. Happens a lot, apparently.

Divine Challenge Minion AF10

FELIPE NO

2 Dice Rolls Damage

Free of the cloudiness in his head, Truckbus realizes that he is being flanked by the kobolds. He also could not help but notice the HEALPUNCH that Prime has performed on Thia. Yes, even through the trees, but that's probably due to just how awesome Prime's hands are. Prime has the touch. Prime has the powerrrrrrr!

Truckbus tries, again, to smash an annoying kobold.


Strength of Stone on AG11
Damage on minion.. oh wait, why did I roll that again?
+4 temporary HP


As the dwarf cleaves the hapless kobold in two, he feels the strength surge back into his muscles,from deep from within the earth. A fierce grin begins to play on his face. "That's one down.. and the rest of you are next."


Shift to AH12
Nature's Wrath to mark all adjacent enemies.


What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

1 Die Roll Hit check

I've seen some strange things, what with my studying the myriad lifeforms on this planet, but its not every lifetime I see a mechanical transport punch someone to full health.

I may have to borrow some of Truckbus's beer later.

Move to AJ11
Fallen Needle to AI11

Unfortunately the kobold I moved towards to attack was nible and dodged my fist. I guess it wasn't curative enough?

"Stupid, stupid rat creatures!"

Jam it back in, in the dark.

4 Dice Rolls *Invoke Assassin's Shroud

Go R2D2! The unsuspecting little barrel robot extended its little metal parts outward to cut the beast into bite size pieces. R2D2 then put the edible pieces on a metal plate and began frying it with its laser. Now that Slinger should be more than fried.

Assassin's Shroud to Slinger
Invoke Assassin's Shrouds

Thia was nearing the enemy that was aghast with Prime's metallic gloss, since the kobold wasn't paying attention, she got close enough to land a decent chunk of her rapier through its shoulder blade.

Inescapable Blade to AF10

Thia is more than frustrated now at her luck getting this glue off. Its even in her friggin HAIR. God, she cannot come up with a better time to say she needs to wash her hair to her date. But thanks to the heavy duty punching from Prime she so deserves, she feels a little better now.

How ya doing, buddy?

2 Dice Rolls damage for funsies

Just as Daituk finishes with one kobold, a new one takes its place, ready to be similarly skewered. Nothing better than being able to stand in place and have your foes come to you for their comeuppins.

Oath of Enmity on Kobold at AI11
Overwhelming strike on same
That's one more dead kobold

The gith is really starting to get in the groove now.

"come on you puny excuses for cult members, at least try and stand in our way!"

Most amazing jew boots

6 Dice Rolls slinger damage

The adventurers get their collective act together and start busting kobold skulls. Everyone but Zeno knocks out another one of the reptiles, reducing their numbers considerably. The remaining kobolds surround Truckbus, and while he barely manages to fend off the minion's attack, the sneaky one stabs him in the rear. As if Truckbus' behind hadn't already sustained enough punishment after falling out of that tree.

7 damage to Truckbus.

The slinger becomes rather agitated at the loss of so many of his meatshields. As he rushes across the stream, he shouts to his allies.

Hold them off! Irontooth must be warned!"

His eyes bulge a little as the kobold realizes what he had just done. He hurriedly fires an object at Zeno, hoping to distract the group long enough for them to forget what he said. Zeno braces himself for a sticky situation, but instead of bursting upon hitting him, the thrown rock simply bounces off his head and lands in front of him. Blood trickles down Zeno's face as he tries to piece together why he isn't covered in goop.

8 damage to Zeno. Bloodied.

Prime, Zeno, Thia, Truck, Daituk, Minions, Slink, Slinger

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls ACTION POINT MAYBE

Everything seems fine in this corner. Optimus is pleased. But not PLEASED ENOUGH. There are squishies to flatten.

Move to AH10.
AXE TO THE HEAD MINION AH11. FAIL MISERABLY.

The announcement of the small one's plans to go do some warning thing DISTRACTED HIM. Robots become quite ornery when distracted.

"HEY. ASSHOLE. GET BACK HERE."

And with that, he put his hand on this weird looking one's shoulder. "YOU. BE PREPARED."

ACTION POINT
PICK UP DAITUK, THROW HIM TOWARDS FLEEING GREEN PANSY MAN
No idea how far he goes but 15 should be good for something

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll Saving Throw x4

She sits down and starts playing solitaire. She casually looks up and sees the hilarious teamwork at work.

After several losses at her own cards, Thia begins to wonder what was this place that gives these enemies so much "luck"? She sets out to investigate...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls Damage

Truckbus roars in pain as the kobold's blade sinks into his flesh. However, the pain does not divert his attention from an opportunity to flank a kobold and hopefully finish it off. Neither does the sight of a flying githzerai, for that matter.


Shift to AG13
Strength of Stone on AH11
+4 temporary HP


With a mighty swing, Truckbus sweeps his blade into the kobold's midriff, nearly cleaving it in two. The kobold goes down in a fountain of blood and ichor. The dwarf then turns to the remaining kobold, vengeance in his eyes.

"This one here is mine. Go get that one across the water before it gets away!"

FELIPE NO

4 Dice Rolls DAMAGEO

As he spies one of the kobolds trying to escape and decides that he is his next target, Daituk suddenly feels himself being lifted into the air. As he's about to land on his face, his avenger senses give him just enough time to lay his hands in front and spring back into the air.


Oath of enmity to fleeing Kobold
Spring to AI16
Pointy sword to ribs
12 damage to Slinger

As Daituk arrives close to the kobold, he sticks out his sword in its general direction. The fullblade strikes firmly into the fleeing coward.



What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

1 Die Roll ATTACK

Oww! That really hurt! I mean I know it was just a rock but that REALLY HURT! There's even blood on my face.

Oh yes, I mad.

"Come on you scared little shrieking bag of custard, don't run!"

RUN to AK17
Crane's Wings against Slink

In my anger, the Slink evades my attack just barely. At least the lizard man was here to give support.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls damage

The slink suddenly finds itself very alone on a very dangerous battlefield. It decides that a tactical retreat is in order. Slipping away from Truckbus, and giving Daituk a wide berth, the slink slips around and gives Zeno a well-placed jab. The sorceror/monk holds up to the punishment, but it's clear he can't afford to take too much more.

Zeno takes 8 damage from the Slink's attack. One final hurrah before my last munchkin gets chopped into bite-sized pieces.

Prime, Zeno, Thia, Truck, Daituk, Slink

There's nowhere I can't reach.

2 Dice Rolls HE'S ON FIRE

COME BACK HERE DECEPTICREEP.

Move to AL13.

Wading only ankle deep into the stream, Optimus's light-piping glowed with robo-rage.

CHARGE. END WITH ARDENT STRIKE.

He lets go of his axe and...starts dribbling it. Somehow it bounces off the ground. How this happens, no one cares to ask. And at the very end, a short hop, skip, and jump away and...

HE'S ON FIRE.



BURY DAT AXE ALL THE WAY HOME.

8 damage. Divine Sanction if not dead.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Given our new ...ally's exceptional ability to squash small creatures, and given my current condition of BLEEDING, I decided to double back to a less dangerous spot, especially since the battle was almost over anyway.

Move to AI14
Second Wind on myself, +25 HP

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls Damage

The monk retreats - a reasonable course of action. But Truckbus doesn't have that sort of presence of mind, oh no. As his Aunt Mariel said, one evening, just before his entire tribe descended into a massive free-for-all over who should have the last slice of mystery meat and moss pie: "Ach, but the only reasonable dwarves are the dead ones!"


Move to AK17
Thorn Strike
6 damage.
No sliding.


Once again, Truck unleashes his spectral vines, landing several whip-like blows on the kobold.

I was speaking idiomatically.