[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

Slim's hand goes right through the sphere with no resistance; it's just an illusion. There's an empty space roughly as wide as the sphere beyond; a circular hole in the wall about 3' wide. Slim doesn't feel anything occupying the space, nor can he reach the back of it (assuming the space has a finite depth).

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Seeing the Kobold waving his hand through the black sphere like it wasn't there, I gingerly prodded at the red one in front of me. Rather than stick my head through it, I carefully attempted to remove the picture from the wall to see what, if anything was behind it.

FELIPE NO

Garold awoke from his semi-voluntary slumber to see the two barbarians sticking their hands through seemingly solid spheres. He thought perhaps he was still asleep, but his sopping wet clothes and fresh piranha bites suggested otherwise.

He rose to a crouch before shaking the excess wet off, spattering anyone unwise enough to stand in the proximity with wet dog water. He then set off to find an orb to prod at, as it seemed to be the cool thing to do. Wasn't there something about searching for gold?

Investigate gold sphere of the naga. Use spear as a poking stick to see if I can feel something in it

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I slid down into the room, joining my compatriots in examining this artwork.

"Paintings are for fags, you know." With that in mind, I decided to start checking the spheres in the color of the rainbow; seeing that the flanksteak had already examined the red one, I stuck my hand in the orange one being held by the illithid.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls save vs bleeding, 1

Beefi's hand passes through the red sphere easily as well, finding another empty space beyond. Impatient, he simply pulls the massive skeleton painting from the wall and tosses it onto the floor. With the painting (and its attendant illusion) out of the way, a crawlspace is revealed at the height that the sphere had occupied — roughly shoulder-height for Beefi. The 3' square tunnel continues for about 40 feet to the east before apparently terminating in a dead end, but by the light of his new lantern Beefi can see that the stone block at the end is wedged in unevenly; it should be possible to push it out of the way (not easily, though, given the cramped nature of the crawlspace).

Garold's spear reveals the gold sphere to also be an illusion, detecting an indeterminate empty space beyond. Even if he were to tear the painting down, the space is several feet over his head; it'll be tricky investigating further.

Gra-fa-zut casually jams his hand through the orange sphere held by the mummy, discovering another empty space — well, not quite. Before he can react, Gra-fa-zut feels his hand ripping through a fragile thread, and a tortured creaking reverberates through the west wall. With a great rush of dusty air, a spear comes flying out of the illusory sphere! Gra-fa-zut turns aside before the antique weapon can skewer him, but he's still grazed. He manages to staunch the bleeding with little trouble.

5 damage to Gra-fa-zut: filthy ol' spear

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Slim shoves his head through the canvas of the painting he's examining and takes a look.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Garold frowns up at the gold sphere. Its height was preventing any further investigation, and even if he was able to reach it he wasn't sure he wanted to go crawling into a narrow tunnel. He knew of far too many nasty creatures that lived in tunnels about that size.

Slim and Sam looked like they'd fit in there much better than he, and the former was already eagerly sticking his face through an orb.

"Anyone want a lift?" said Garold, before standing beneath the gold orb and clasping his hands to make a step.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Hmm, the space behind the painting was a bit too small for me to squeeze into but I was fairly certain there was something of interest down there.

I picked up the Halfling and helped him into the hole, offering him my lantern if he needed some illumination.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I grumbled but, as noted, I was the only one of the proper size to fit that hole.

"Tighter than your mother, Grapefruit."

I chuckled at my own joke as I took the lantern and peered down the passage.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Slim shoves his head through the illusory black sphere. Beyond is a long, cramped passage very much like the one Sam was presently entering. Rather than terminating in a false dead end, however, this crawlspace goes on unimpeded for about 60 feet before making a sharp turn to the east.

Sam climbs into the crawlspace that had been behind the skeleton painting and just... looks at it. It looks pretty much the same as it did when Beefi looked at it.

Most amazing jew boots

Somebody give me their rope I'm going in.

If nobody hands it over then I jack the rope from the closest persons pack and crawl down the rabbit hole.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

"Dear room:

"

Also, since I didn't think anyone had grabbed rope, I climbed back up the chain and got the two segments connecting the nearest platforms, climbed back down, and handed one to Slim.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Gra-fa-zut fetches Slim a rope, but it's thankfully unnecessary; the snug tunnel goes nowhere that would make a return crawl difficult. After a long crawl to the east and another to the south, Slim emerges from the tunnel into a vast chamber, such that his darkvision alone is insufficient to see the far walls. At first glance, the area seems reminiscent of a church; pews stand in tidy rows on a floor of clean white marble, and a broad band of some glossy red stone cuts through the center of the room.

Slim detects a strong odor of incense coming from the south. Lavender! Who doesn't like lavender.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

With the ropes retrieved from upstairs and everyone down here, I jiggled the grapple free and retrieved my chain before going back to the halfling in the hole and giving him a gentle shove of encouragement.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I managed to slide further up the tunnel, being as quiet and halflingy about it as I could. I kept the light near my side, rather than in front of me, to provide me with light without shedding too much to indicate my presence before I wanted people to know I was there. Luckily for me and the cow, I was a sneaky motherfucker.

If I died, though, I wanted no one to have my stuff. As I was a miserly sommbitch.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Sam advances down the tunnel cautiously, encountering no immediate threats, and carefully pushes the blockade aside. The passage opens onto a squarish chamber, strewn with heaps of rubble. Three bulky chests surround the room's center; one plated in gold, another in silver, and a third of fine mahogany.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Slim quickly backtracks to report his find.

There's an enormous room that smells like old ladies and molestation. I'd wager that's a sign of being closer to a lich if ever there was one.

That out of the way he goes down the same tunnel as the halfling to see what's taking so long. Seeing the large chests he does the only logical thing and starts whacking the wooden one with his 10 feet pole from a safe distance.

Should that illicit no response then he throws his hammer at it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

From what Slim had said, it seemed as though his passage was the way forward. Still, it paid to be thorough so, mindfull of the trap that we'd already encountered, I began to carefully remove all the other pictures from the wall, standing to the side as I did and laying it on the floor below so we could still reference the colours if needs be.

I thought to myself as I went about the task how surprisingly pleasant the whole experience had been so far. After all, we'd been down here for hours now and the only creatures we had encountered had been the two elves who had tured out to be rather friendly. Given the martial bearing of most of our party I had expected this job to be a running battle against hordes of the undead, rather than this rather enjoyable series of puzzles.

FELIPE NO

6 Dice Rolls Gra-fa-zut init

Beefi pulls the rest of the paintings down. Only one (the lamia) is hiding anything more, and it's just another hidden spear.

Slim raps on the wooden chest with his 10-foot pole, and the lid springs open instantly. A massive, four-armed skeleton the size of an ogre awkwardly unfolds itself out of the box, menacing Slim with four gleaming scimitars.

"Hey, bro. Skeleton in a box, gonna kill you. Nothin' personal, you know how it is."

He seems fairly well-spoken for a guy with no vocal cords.

Skeleton: AC 22, Fort 21, Reflex 24, Will 21

Sam 24, Skeleton 21, Garold 19, Beefi 16, Slim 12, Gra-fa-zut 8

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I heard some kind of crashing and commotion coming from the opening but sadly as Sam had my lantern, I couldn't see down there to make out what was going on. The hole was a little small for me to fit down but since it had been me that had stuffed him into the hole in the first place, I figured I should go down there and see if he needed a hand with anything. Having seen the rigged spears in a couple of the holes, I feared the worst and with the wantonly destructive Kobold having been the next down the tunnel, who knows what was going on down there?

Climb into hole, crawl as far as possible down the tunnel towards Sam and Slim

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll OPENING MOOOOOOVE

As I streaked past my rather stunned looking ally, I managed to yell out: "YOU NEVER POKE A CHEST UNTIL WE'VE GATHERED OUR PARTY TO VENTURE FORTH!" And I promptly dove at the skeleton, looking to make him dead-er.

Of course I missed entirely, swinging my sword between his ribs. Would have killed a real boy. Just saying.

"Shit" I thought.

"Shit" I muttered, staring up at the big skeleton. "Parlay?" I intoned, with a slight shrug.

Move to BO -3 to set up flank. Miss with a 21 vs ac. Give what's his face the use of my sneak in the attack as a minor. Can use my sneak attack dice.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

So do you have to pay rent to for that chest or is free housing a package with what they pay you to guard this place? If you and the elves up top are any indication this seems like a pretty sweet gig.

I'd love it if you'd put in a good word for me with whoever runs this place after they put you back together.


I'm holding off on acting until I see what the skeleton does.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

To no one's surprise, sounds of smashing echoed from the hole almost immediately after the kobold had climbed through.

"Can't you go five minutes without breaking something?" Garold shouted from his position in the hallway.

Oddly, there was no snarky comeback; only swearing from the halfling. Garold looked away from the tunnel he wished to investigate to see Beefi preparing to dive into the hole. Something interesting was going on, he just wasn't sure what.

Move and move down the hallway toward all the excitement.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

6 Dice Rolls Snake? SNAKE? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE

Sam lunges at the massive skeleton, burying his rapier in the thing's rib cage. Sadly there's nothing really important in there, and the thrust brings Sam a little closer to the skeleton's whirling scimitars than he might have liked. The bone-bag thrashes away like a steel tornado, badly wounding both Sam and Slim and sending them flying with the sheer force of the blows.

Sam careens backwards, tumbling over the golden box. Alas, he's disturbed its inhabitants as well — a dozen hissing vipers pour of the chest, quite agitated.

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?


16 damage to Sam: Preemptive Slash
16 damage to Sam: Rain of Steel
35 damage to Slim: Rain of Steel (crit)
Both bloodied and knocked back

Snake defenses: AC 25, Fort 21, Ref 24, Will 22. Aura 2: take a -2 penalty to attack rolls.

Slim 12, Gra-fa-zut 8, Horde Vipers 27, Sam 24, Skeleton 21, Garold 19, Beefi 16

I know the letter tags on the minions are too small to read but welp you guys scattered all over the place =/

How ya doing, buddy?

6 Dice Rolls fire6

If this fellow isn't willing to talk shop then we'll see how he likes snake barbecue.


move to BM-3

Flames of purity southward since I can't make out the minion tags I'm just starting at the top left and working clockwise. I miss fucking everything.

Shield of sacrifice using myself to draw the healing surge from. Sam gets a surges worth of healing +3 from flames of purity and we both get a +5 power bonus to AC

It appears he likes it just fine. Slim Looks Sam in the eyes and offers the only words of encouragement that come to mind.

RUN BITCH!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?