[DnD] Once More Into The Depths (GFF D&D Adventure 8)

6 Dice Rolls trample damage

Puyet quickly reacts to block the... painful... sound waves from reaching Gheth's delicate ears, but he finds that he's not holding his shield and consequently can block nothing much at all. It was still on the floor next to the princess! If only someone, some cosmic overseer, had mentioned this. Several times. Mentioned it several times. That would have been very useful information for Puyet, had that happened.

Out of the immediate threat range of the yeti's awful caterwauling, Glenn easily sends a bolt flying into its open mouth. The bolt sails in cleanly, puncturing through the yeti's palate and stabbing it in the brain. The shrieking cuts off abruptly as the hairy beast collapses face-first onto the stones.

Howler dead

Gra-fa-zut heedlessly strides away from the yeti hunter, ignoring the beast's feeble claws as he walked away. The knight had to be dealt with. Putting all his strength behind the swing, the genasi's broadsword cleanly cleaves Garland's head from his shoulders. But that's not enough; Gra-fa-zut keeps hacking away. You have to be sure.

Unwilling to actually get anywhere near the infuriated swordmage, the black mage nonetheless does his best to talk him down.

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Claw: +13 vs AC, 1d8+3 (4) damage to Gra-fa-zut
Garland dead

Seeing many of its enemies bunched together, the yeti rampager decides to simply bum-rush the lot of them. With a growl the yeti puts his head down and hurtles around the statue with a vicious shoulder charge, bowling our heroes down as he passes.

Trample: +9 vs Reflex, 1d8+4 (9) damage to Gra-fa-zut, Gheth, Puyet; all three knocked prone.

Puyet 18, Yeti Hunter 16, Black Mage 15, Cal 14, Garrmondo 6, Gheth 23, Glenn 20, GFZ 19, Yeti Rampager 18

7 vs 2, guys. Wrap it up.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

4 Dice Rolls *Mince meat

Puyet was just realizing his shield was amiss, probably due to the damned fireball that landed on him, when a fucking yeti knocked him down. He was sick of these antics, and decided to just plain break some skulls.

First off, GET THE FUCK UP BCUZ I APPARENTLY LOVE SLEEPING ON STONE FLOORS
Everybody move! Back up you fucking overgrown sheep. Rampager to N104.
Flattening Charge on Rampager. Have a taste of your own medicine, dickhead. Charge to O105.
Action point! Because sometimes, I amaze even myself!
Lead the Attack! For brutal overkill!
Puyet almost misses but Glenn notices how pissed off he is and decides it'd be best for him to keep his anger directed at the yeti.
Glenn uses guided shot, poor yeti! :sad:
7+7 from charge. 21+7 from Lead the Attack 42 damage total.
IF IF IF he's not dead, everybody had +2 to attack rolls against him AND combat advantage cuz he just got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT@!

Overall, Puyet is satisfied with the pretty red patterns he made all over the stone floor.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

4 Dice Rolls breakin'

Puyet leaps to his feet, tearing into the yeti rampager with a fury. He becomes a whirlwind of angry shouts and swinging hammers, and it's all Glenn can do just to point out that Puyet should, maybe, aim for center mass. The warlord doesn't stop until the yeti is bleeding on the floor. Surely someone else can finish off what's left of it.

Yeti Rampager prone, bloodied, granting +4 to hit it (unless you're attacking at range)

The Yeti Hunter shambles forward, attempting to envelop Gheth in a great big hug. But Gheth rejects Hug Time, as it is kind of warm in the temple, and furthermore the yeti smells really bad.

Claw: 11 damage to Gheth

Through sprawled out on his back, Gra-fa-zut teleports to Gheth's aid. Sadly his furious attempt to hack the hunter off at the ankles meets with no success.

Black Mage 15, Cal 14, Garrmondo 6, Gheth 23, Glenn 20, GFZ 19, Yeti Rampager 18, Puyet 18, Yeti Hunter 16

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Captain Pointy-Hat is confused. Some sort of change...thing made a good point.

Oh well, his new friends seem to have shit under control. This gives Pointy-Hat a chance to pursue his other passion, SCIENCE!

HYPOTHESIS: PURPLE BALL HAS REASON FOR EXISTING

EXPERIMENT: PURPLE BALL DISLIKES SMOKE

Move to K113
Shoot two fireballs at big purple orb thing

I was speaking idiomatically.

11 Dice Rolls gheth death save

Freddy decides to see what he can do with the big giant orb in the middle of the room which everyone else has been studiously ignoring. Quickly hurling two fireballs at the orb, he's startled as the sphere is easily knocked free of its raised dais. The force of Freddy's fireballs sends the orb flying into a statue just to the southwest, where it knocks Garrmondo aside and ricochets off to the northwest. Rolling past Gheth, Puyet and the downed Rampager, it strikes another statue and ricochets northeast — plowing through Gra-fa-zut and the Yeti Hunter. It bounces off a third statue, sending it back to the southeast; it hurtles past Sara and bounces over its original dais. A fourth ricochet sends it southwest, nearly falling into the vortex but missing by a few scant inches. Bouncing off the south wall, momentum carries it into a southwestern corner where it bounces past Cal and yet another statue before falling, at last, into the vortex. But the massive orb doesn't seem to fit into the halfling-sized portal in the floor; it just falls in with a ploonk and finally comes to rest, gently rattling around as the portal futilely tries to pull it through. A cacophony of agonized groans and pained whimpering echoes through the room, and Freddy can do little but stand there with his jaw hanging open in shock.

Pinball Wizard: +10 vs Reflex
17 damage to Garr (unconscious), Rampager, Gheth (unconscious), Sara (splattered like so much raspberry jam)
21 damage to Cal (critical hit, bloodied)

Cal 14, Garrmondo 6, Gheth 23, Glenn 20, GFZ 19, Yeti Rampager 18, Puyet 18, Yeti Hunter 16, Black Mage 15

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

4 Dice Rolls Quarry

Wrap it up, he says.

Of all the stupid....

With allies like Freddy, who needs enemies?

Oh well, there's time to dissect him later.

Move to Q103 and quarry nearest yeti I can see.
Spikes of the Manticore against it, +3 power bonus against -2 prone penalty.
First attack hits, second probably misses.
Critical hit! Yeti takes 45 damage, 5 of which is poison.

Uhhh, ignore the quarry roll. Completely forgot it maxes on a crit. Let's just pretend it was the crit roll.

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How ya doing, buddy?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls RIGHT IN DA KISSAH

Glenn glances across the room to the little man in the corner. He feels something odd. A strange connection with him. Almost like they share the same mind. They have the same dreams and desires. They are soul mates.

Alas, he has no time to mull it over. Suddenly, his body and soul are filled with beautiful music.

YouTube Video

Awesome costumes aside, it's time to GET DOWN TO BIZZNIZZ. Glenn briefly considers shooting Cal in the face but remembers that the powers that be might be angry with such a notion. Too bad.

Fast switch to stow sword. Draw dat crossbow.
Load dat crossbow
Press dat lightning button on dat crossbow
Shoot dat crossbow at dat yeti.
Don't think I have CA but I haven't been paying attention, so 10 damage from the looks of it

How ya doing, buddy?

2 Dice Rolls *Enervating Slash damage

Ugh. I hate it when that happens. First I space out and come to with gobs of flesh all over my body and THEN I get slammed across the damn room by some retarded mage. Whatever. I see a yeti, and that motherfucker's gonna get it. I stand up, screaming some syllables while I do so, turning my sword blacker than the inside of that thing's gullet.

Stand Up
Enervating Slash on Yeti Hunter
9 + 11 > 17 HIT / 6 + 6 = 12 Damage

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AND SO, being gravely wounded and most repulsed with the growing stench of the dead filling the room, the yeti hunter did retreat back into the portal whence it came, all the while crying like as a little bitch does, all "Wah, Wah." Such is the nature of the yeti when sorely pressed.

G-Unit stands battered but victorious over the squalor, with bodies strewn from hell to breakfast and an extremely sheepish black mage cowering in the corner. Well, some of them aren't so much standing as... lounging. Horizontally. But they'll feel better soon enough.

Victoly! 1700 XP (283 each)

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So then, Mr. Freddy. As agreed upon, you're free to go! Take all the credit you want. You totally knocked that knight down!

I... uh... assume you'll be taking (what's left of) your lady friend?

The human and dragonborn were splayed most embarassingly after getting floored by a huge ball, so I massage them until they regain consciousness.

Heal checks to stabilize Garrmondo and Gheth.
Use 3 surges.

Ally buffing thus complete, I move on to other less pressing concerns. Like conducting an inventory of war spoils.

Loot time! What do we get from the Thief, Fighter, White Mage, Garland, and the yetis? Slice open yeti stomachs to see if they ate anything good.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see that blue-faced genasi looking at me. Apparently he's squeamish with blood and gore. A pity - he's quite a striking fellow too.

But why on Faerun did he let the yeti escape without even trying to smack it? What's he doing here, anyway, and how did he know Garr? Well, let's get to know him better. Having one more defender on my side won't hurt.

Those were some wicked moves you pulled off right there. You a teleporter, right? I'm Cal A'mah, changeling of indeterminate gender from the illusory town of Rhee. Agnostic; worships Traveler as afterlife insurance. How'd you know friend Garr, and what are you doing here? Come to think about it, do you know where we are?

I was speaking idiomatically.

1 Die Roll Intimidate.

Puyet peels the chunk of yeti hide from his hammer and retrieves his shield. He then notices the putzy black mages trying to make his exit.

"I think not. You're going to give us some information before you leave, you are." Puyet shakes his hammer right under the halfling's nonexistent chin. "First thing you're going to tell me is how you shave in the morning. Then you're going to tell me where the hell we are and where you came from......etc. etc."

Puyet also makes a mental note to scope out the goods left on Garland and the fighter. Oh, and to pick up those gold coins that fell out of the thief's fanny pack.

Double surge.
Intimidate in case mage no talky
Get gold and check out gear from dead dudes after extracting all the useful info from mage.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Glenn shakes his head, trying to clear his mind. He had clearly been quite delirious for a while there, and he needed a break. Glenn retrieves his crossbow bolts the various corpses spread around the room, and sits down in a corner to rest. He was ready for a proper rest, but he thought he'd best see what his companions thought of the matter before making any executive decisions.

expend surge x2
Talk to the rest of the group regarding an extended rest.

FELIPE NO

Freddy contemplates his further existence. What options does he have? Chill out with these annoying idiots? With...with...Cal?

Nay, that is not living.

Freddy sighs.

Cast Fire on self repeatedly until death



What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Well, I can't believe that yeti ran away ... whatever. The changeling was looking at me and speaking in the most annoying voice. "Could you just shut your damn mouth for a moment? I have no clue what's going on, and the ponce just ran into me. Let me rest and take a look around. Sorry. I really don't have an issue with you things, but for fuck's sake, you're annoying with the questions right after I nearly got my ass handed to me." I liked the eldarin's idea about taking a break, but I had more immediate things to worry about. First things first, I wanted to clean up. I slid sideways, shuddering with liquid and shedding the gobbets of flesh sticking to my skin. Next, I took a good look at the orb that had been so irritating.

Healing surge to full.
Arcana checks on the orb and statues.
Loot the fighter.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Excerpt from Gheth's adventuring notes, pg. 735

And so, after being rendered unconscious by a gigantic purple ball which was most certainly not a portal in the middle of the room (despite its color being the most significant thing about it), I was awoken by soft, caressing fingers along my collarbone, attached to a very insistent changeling.

He had a knack for getting us into singularly awkward situations; I have to give him that.

Surge to full
Let's get the hell out of Dodge

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Cal goes through his usual practice of gathering the spoils, being significantly less finicky about looting the dead than were his companions. Aside from the ridiculous quantity of gold the thief had been hauling around, that spellbook the white mage had been holding might be useful. Despite his arrogance in battle, the fighter's rapier and chainmail were entirely mundane and unremarkable. There is a small waxed-paper packet tied to his belt, however; it's sealed with twine, and a small ink stamp on it reads simply "TENT". The little package is significantly heavier than its size would seem to indicate.

Cal flips through the late Betty's spellbook, but most of the pages are unreadable chicken-scratch or else unflattering doodles of her companions. He does find one interesting spell, and tears out the page for safekeeping. Might come in handy later. Cal also finds a rat's tail in the mage's pockets, and feels a brief twinge of regret that he and the mage had never been able to discuss their evident shared hobby in more peaceful circumstances.

It takes some time to pry Garland's headless carcass out of his armor to search him for valuables. Beneath his platemail he was wearing a set of scale, and a set of chainmail beneath that. Under all the steel Garland was perhaps half the size of the imposing figure he had appeared. No wonder he could barely lift that sword of his...

The sword itself is significantly more intriguing. Indeed, it had such a heft that had Garland actually hit anyone they would surely have been knocked down. Perhaps someone with the common sense to wear well-fitted armor could make more use of it.

With bloody enthusiasm, Cal slices open the yeti carcasses. But alas, they'd eaten nothing interesting lately; Cal finds only some unidentifiable half-digested meat and the usual yeti spaghetti.

Last but not least was the princess' crown, which had been knocked clear when the giant orb ricocheted into her and flattened her like a pancake.

Loot Report:
1 Staggering Greatsword +2

500 GP (Cash)
1 golden crown (200 GP value)
1 ritual scroll: Comrades' Succor

1 tent

After doing a once-over of the room himself (and being sure Cal hadn't pocketed anything), Puyet decides to interrogate the surviving mage before he can escape. The mage tells Puyet his location (though the warlord had never heard of any such place as "Coneria") and explains that they'd arrived to rescue Princess Sara, which was a mission that had obviously gone a bit pear-shaped. Attempting to daze Puyet with another fireball so he can escape, Freddy instead manages to ignite his own ridiculous straw hat. He takes his subsequent cremation very stoically, all things considered.

Glenn recovers what bolts he can; some have snapped in two as a consequence of falling bodies crushing them.

Rightfully suspicious of the massive orb, Gra-fa-zut examines it for any sign of arcane influences. His suspicions are confirmed immediately; when examined more than casually, the crystal sphere is practically humming with magic. Peering into the purple orb, Gra-fa-zut spies upon such strange and baffling visions...

A flying ship, half-buried beneath desert sands

A terrifying machine of war, tramping about restlessly within a floating citadel

A many-armed demon sulking in the lowest recesses of a volcanic cavern

A flaming meteor, falling from the sky toward a decrepit old temple surrounded by forests

This last image struck the genasi as particularly relevant to his own fortunes, somehow. Gra-fa-zut also examines the room's many statues for any sign of magecraft, but they seem more or less mundane. Of the six humanoid statues, 4 of them closely resembled what the halfling attackers might have looked like had they been human or elven (some of the statues bore the tapered ears of the fey folk, but some did not) instead. How peculiar. The other two statues depict a stocky human monk and an elf clad in great finery — his cloak and ostentatious hat must have taken more time to carve than all the crude snakes and gargoyles around the room put together.

Garrmondo struggles to his feet, and as Glenn yanks the last salvageable bolt free of a yeti skull his sharp ears overhear a faint roaring sound — not like the roar of a beast, but something much like the sound of a great bonfire merrily crackling away. The sound is gradually getting louder, though no one but Glenn seems to notice it yet. Perhaps Cal would have heard it first — the changeling's senses also seem fairly sharp — but he was currently up to his shoulders into a yeti torso. With a cry of joy, Cal's gore-soaked arm snakes free of the carcass and holds up his trophy: he'd found the wishbone.

Skex I'm assuming you haven't changed your mind in the last month; if so let me know

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The half-orc does not seem to trust me. This wounds me a bit - have I not followed every single one of the warlord's orders during battle? When he told me to finish the thief, I finished him. When he ordered the white mage's death, only the halfling's preternatural luck saved her from my arrows. Yes, his distrust is misplaced, for Cal A'mah is the most trustworthy changeling who ever adventured!

Take: 100 GP, Tent (cart), Rat tail, Yeti wishbone
Harvest: 1x Yeti Howler head (cart), 1x Yeti Rampager foot (cart)
Transfer from cart: 18 arrows, 1 flask containing black pudding

After doing what I normally do after a battle, I join the genasi in staring at the orb. It must be quite fascinating to behold.

"What do you see?" I asked the Genasi, who appears to have turned a shade of crimson after viewing the ball.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

While Cal is busy with his absurdities, Puyet grabs the cash the thief had been carrying about for his group. It could be evenly distributed later.

The crown could be left. It was not good fortune to carry a crown that did not belong to you. Puyet had learned this on an escort mission years ago, when he lead a force to secure the new lord who had overthrown the previous ruler of the tribal lands he grew up in. While the military of the land was part of a larger kingdom, the lower territories could commission its use. Needless to say, there was a number of encounters with rebels who would have liked to take the crown back, along with the head it was on.

Puyet now also felt compelled to stare into the large orb and drool.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Glenn had a hunch that something was amiss. Burning things did not usually move. Glenn had no idea what the sound was, but he didn't intend to hang around too long to find out. Quickly picking up the remainder of the stuff Cal had found, Glenn moves toward the exit portal.

"We'll figure the rest of this out later, but for now, i have a feeling we should get out of here."

Presuming the portal goes somewhere safe, as "Betty" called it as an means of escape, Glenn moves through the portal.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

"Guys, guys," I shout, considerably worried after the revelation in the orb. "I'd put away your Eduardo/Jakobus slashfics and pack up your Barbara sleeping packs because we need to get the fuck out of here RIGHT NOW." I shuffle around in my pack, producing my own sleeping bag. I mean to take the orb with me if I can (it could come in handy), and I'm not touching it with my bare hands if I can help it. Bad things can happen if you touch things like that without testing it first...

Cover orb with sleeping bag, pick up orb if it's not too heavy, and place the bundle in my pack.
Whatever the result of that action, follow Glenn through the portal, thereby getting the fuck out of there.

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With the sound of fire getting too close to be ignored any longer, Gra-fa-zut carefully scoops up the orb and urges his companions through the exit portal before following through himself. Whatever was coming wasn't good news.

Gheth, however, remains behind. Possessed of a certain suspicion, he pries the exterior door open with his spearpoint and strides outdoors to stare curiously into the sky. Indeed, a roiling fireball was descending through the atmosphere. Squinting against the bright sunshine and the unearthly brightness of the meteor itself, Gheth identifies the object at the core of the fireball: some kind of leather satchel, inexplicably intact despite the white-hot flames all around it.

With a start, Gheth realizes just where it is that he last saw such an unusual bag. Could it be? Could it really be? With a wan smile inching onto his face, Gheth attempts to estimate where exactly the satchel would be landing. The contents might be... valuable.

Unfortunately for Gheth, his triangulations put the satchel's impact point at roughly the exact place he happened to be standing. There was no time to run.

With an earthshaking kaboom, the satchel from space slammed into the Conerian forest clearing. The shockwave alone was enough to kill small birds within half a mile, and as for our poor dragonborn friend, well. Nothing remained of him. It would be kinder, perhaps, to speculate that Avandra spirited him away at the last moment: who can truly say?

A pair of truly remarkable space travelers clamber out of their unusual craft, both of them seemingly too large to fit within its cramped confines. The halfling and his warforged friend struggle out of the massive crater, gawking at the strange new world on which they've arrived.

"Look, Glock! What is that?"

"Some kind of giant centipede, I suppose."

"Are they full of candy?"

The warforged in the fabulous hat strokes his metal chin for a moment, ruminating over the matter.

"Let's find out."


————————————


Cursing and disoriented, the survivors tumble out of the portal on the other side — Cal's little wagon having escaped his clutch in transit, it follows through a moment later and clouts him in the back of the head. The group finds themselves on a large balcony several stories above a city street. It seems to be either near dawn or near twilight, judging from the sky. The portal soundlessly vanishes behind them.

Two others are on the balcony as G-Unit arrive; a pair of handsome gentlemen with brick-red skin and jutting horns sit at a small patio table, sharing a meal. They look superficially similar to tieflings, but their huge leathery wings put that idea to bed. Puyet immediately recognizes the creatures: half-devils. Cambions.

He immediately moves to unsling the hammer from his back, but the infernal creatures sitting near him make no hostile moves. They seem awfully friendly, all things considered.

"Look, Virgil. Guests."

"Have you come to join us for breakfast, boys? Mortai's lamb chili is just divine."

Stammering excuses, the group politely refuses and makes its way down to street level. Why, this is Freeport (though the city seems in somewhat worse shape than they had left it). Whether Betty somehow intended to go to Freeport herself or whether the portal merely transported travelers to their own homes was, perhaps, unknowable. It was hardly as if the entire group hailed from the City of Pirates, but Garrmondo had been first through the portal: maybe he took priority somehow.

Only having escaped the strangeness of the cambion breakfast nook does the group realize that Gheth is not among them. Taking a few moments to mourn his loss, Garrmondo leads the group back to G-Unit's rented rooms at the Diving Fin. It had been a long, strange day.

Curious if the crystal orb had survived the rough trip, Gra-fa-zut cautiously unwraps his bedroll to find a globe much smaller than the one he had swiped; the orb that had barely fit in his pack was now scarcely larger than his clenched fist. Maybe things in Coneria just had odd proportions. Still, it seemed undamaged.

This post is long enough as it is, so I'll post the adventure hooks later. All of you should have the Character Builder installed, so I'm not doing the store inventories this time. If you can afford it, buy it (and tell me what you bought).

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

1 Die Roll Buy my magic sword

Freeport? What are we doing here? We've unfinished business in Lamid! I make a mental note that whenever I find myself in the area again, I am going to throttle old man Geoff.

Glad to reach a (relatively) safe haven, I go to the market in an attempt to hawk some unwanted wares.

Attempt to haggle a good price for Bloodclaw Short Sword and Ivory Centaur Statuette.



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Too aggravated by his delayed revenge to rest, Cal immediately strikes out for the shops of the Merchant District. It's high time he pawned off this spiky old sword, and he knows just who to foist it off on.

Soon enough Cal is weaving an epic tale of swashbuckling adventure, telling of the beasts he slew and the challenges he overcame with this magnificent — no, this incomparable weapon. Surely 'tis the finest blade he'd ever laid hands on, and if it weren't for his poor sick ma and her expensive tonics, why, he'd never let it go.

Urian Firehand of Urian's Forge is sufficiently moved (or sufficiently motivated to get Cal out of his shop) to offer 50% over what he'd normally pay for such an item, paying out 156 gold in exchange for the Bloodclaw Short Sword.

There's nowhere I can't reach.