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Welcome to the Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis. |
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Cal flees through the portal, which clicks and turns an unpleasant shade of chartreuse as he tumbles back into the would-be museum. Glenn quickly throws the device into reverse, switching it back to pink before anyone could make any hasty exits (or entrances, Sehanine forbid). With nothing else but corn to see for hundreds of yards in all directions, Puyet grumblingly trudges back through the pink portal as well — and smacks Cal's hands away from the controls before he can do any more damage.
-------- Garrmondo boosts the genasi up to one of the many impressive cracks in the wall, and the blue fella takes a gander at the outdoors. Nothing but trees as far as the eye can see, save for a little stone-lined well a few yards from the treeline. The well is capped, alas. Most amazing jew boots |
As soon as Puyet has returned and the portal has returned to its original color, Glenn flips the switch into the "lock" position. Giving the changeling a glare that says, "don't mess with it", he turns and heads through the portal, hoping the fighter hasn't wandered too far in the time he was away.
Jam it back in, in the dark. ![]() |
Hey, a purplish pastel-ly portal. Maybe Garr's in there!
GARRMONDO? ARE YOU THERE?!! HAVE YOU FOUND THE WIZARD WHO CAN GET US OUT??? There's nowhere I can't reach. |
Gheth and Puyet pointedly examine their own fingernails. Gheth overhears some kind of faint growling coming from the top of the stairs. If he had to describe it, he might call it "yeti-like." -------- Glenn is immediately disappointed as he arrives on the other side: Garrmondo is nowhere in sight. Instead, he and the changeling find themselves intruding on a swirling melee. A hulking man in plate armor and a purple cloak is barely fending off a relentless assault bu a group of halflings; though he easily cuts down the halflings in melee with his greatsword, a white-robed halfling in a corner simply mutters "CURE" each time, and the wounded fighters are up and stabbing again. Worse, a fourth halfling in the opposite corner is continually hurling fireballs at the harried man in the cloak. The cloaked man whirls around to face the newcomers as the hum of the portal announces their arrival. "A ha! Now my... reinforcements have arrived at last! You puny things are doomed, now! Doomed!" In an instant, the halflings' attentions are diverted from the cloaked fighter to Glenn and Cal. The man in the purple cloak offers an awkward shrug, as if by way of apology. Screeching poorly-enunciated oaths, the angry halflings converge on Glenn and Cal. The little fellow in the awkward wooden mail lunges at Glenn, jabbing his rapier into the eladrin's ribs before Glenn could even manage to draw his own weapon. Glenn wasn't used to being the one caught flatfooted in a fight. 16 damage to Glenn Defenses! Fighter AC 22 Fort 20 Ref 19 Will 17 Thief AC 21 Fort 18 Ref 21 Will 17 Black Mage AC 19 Fort 18 Ref 18 Will 20 White Mage AC 21 Fort 18 Ref 18 Will 20 Out in the corridor, Garr and Gra-Fa-Zut notice as the constant noise from the temple room subsides for a moment. Somebody was giving a speech.. something about doom? Par for the course, really. He's prepared to ignore it until he hears the changeling's familiar voice calling his name. ![]() This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. |
Disruptive Strike vs. Thief. Alas, my hastily-prepared snap shot spoiled my otherwise peerless aim. How ya doing, buddy? |
Having no real interest in collecting more baboon hides, and trusting Glenn better in having figured the mechanics than the dastardly changeling, Puyet wanders through the portal, only to see Glenn getting his insides renovated. The little man who was intent on this deed then scampered off into a corner. Corners are generally the best places for his enemies to be. Puyet moves in on the wee man and motions for his comrades by the portal to follow him in and make quick work of this high school punk reject with blue hair.
Battlefront shift as close as possible to thief without provoking AoO I was speaking idiomatically. ![]() |
Not sure what square I end up on, or how many move squares it took to go through the portal, but if it's possible to get within 10 of White Mage, then Spiritual Weapon on her. If not, then Spiritual Weapon on fighter. What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? |
After sinking a blow towards the thief, Puyet closes the distance and swings a wide double cleave attempting to knock the the gold out of the thief's pockets like a pinata. Hopefully blood comes out instead. Glenn: Move to I112 Clever Strike w/ combat advantage. HIT CRITICAL 13 DMG + 10 Sneak Attack DMG + 8 Crit Bonus DMG Expend Flaying Gloves power for ongoing dmg Puyet: (should be at H111) Wolf Pack Tactics, shifting Glenn to H113 Attack w/ combat advantage. HIT 16 DMG Furious Assault 9 DMG Having made a bloody pulp of the thief, he stood there quite dizzy. Not sure if he was still conscious, Puyet signals for Cal to put an arrow between his brow to make sure he isn't. FELIPE NO ![]() |
10 damage to White Mage Glenn closes in on the halfling thief, his sword ripping through the air to land what would surely be a mighty blow. The thief's rapier slashes into his side once more as he approaches, though this does nothing to slow him down. But the rotten little beggar dodges at the last second, and what should be a serious wound is merely... still a pretty serious wound actually. Dang. Smirking, Glenn backhands the thief as he circles around. 14 damage to Glenn from thief's AoO (bloodied) Thief expends his Second Chance (all halflings have this, don't act surprised) 26 damage to Thief, and 5 ongoing (save ends) With the thief backed into a corner and surrounded, Puyet has no trouble bringing the hammer down. 25 damage to Thief (bloodied) Though it's really no business of his, Gra-fa-zut finds himself drawn inexorably toward the sounds of battle. It's like his feet are moving on their own! On your first combat turn ever I have to do this? Crud, guy. The black mage hurriedly glances from one intruder to the next, finding it hard to pick a target. At length, he flings a pouch of some strange dust in Gheth's direction, muttering fearsome incantations under his breath. The dust explodes up in a cloud, and as Gheth and the allies around him accidentally inhale it they feel their eyelids begin to get very heavy indeed. SLEP: +11 vs Will, Burst 2 centered on Gheth. Gheth, Puyet, Cal Slowed (save ends). If you fail your save vs slow, become unconscious (save ends). ![]() What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
Sequence: Move to I110, Quarry Thief, Two-Fanged Strike (apply quarry damage to first attack), Action Point: Twin Strike, Take Ranged Basic Attack (granted by Puyet's Bravura Presence after attacking with action point) Target(s): Thief (until he drops dead), White Mage (assuming the statue things don't block line of effect) - Warrior otherwise. Damage Calculations: Two-Fanged Strike, first attack: 5+7+7 = 19 Two-Fanged Strike, second attack: 5+7 = 12 Twin Strike, second attack: 9+2 = 11 Ranged Basic Attack: 4+7 = 11 Jam it back in, in the dark. |
Instantly shaking off the cobwebs, Cal reaches into his quiver and sends a whole handful of arrows spraying around the room. The halfling thief, already badly wounded, takes two arrows to the chest and sprawls to the floor. The halfling healer also absorbs a fair share of abuse, but not enough to seriously imperil her.
With a start, Cal realizes he has no idea where Gary is. Perhaps he had been left behind in that cornfield. Well, he was a resourceful sort, for a goblin. He'd manage. Perhaps Gary would even thrive in that strange place. ![]() ![]() 22 damage to White Mage The white mage waves around the little iron hammer that seems to serve as both her weapon and her holy symbol, and several of the more egregious wounds on her face and arms seem to fade away. Then she moves closer to the statue for cover; making a few hurried gestures as she fades into translucency, becoming more difficult to distinguish through the mist that's pouring in from the portal. CURE: White Mage spends her healing surge and regains 18 HP FOG: +2 to all of White Mage's defenses until end of her next turn. Yeah, those are both minor actions deal with it ![]() ![]() There's nowhere I can't reach. |
He snarls, whirling on Gra-fa-zut with his blade poised to strike. "I'm being replaced, aren't I! Look at you, you're obviously Kraken-touched. How could I be so blind?! Well, there's only one way to settle this." Shaking with rage, he levels his sword and swings a murderous blow at Gra-fa-zut. "I, Garland, will knock you all down!" With superhuman speed Gra-fa-zut instantly brings his own blade up to parry, deflecting Garland's heavy greatsword with ease. Garland defenses: AC 21, Fort 18, Ref 17, Will 17 The halfling fighter ignores the apparent fallout between Garland and his so-called allies, intent on eliminating Gheth and his mage-threatening trickery from the battlefield. He lunges at the cleric, scoring a telling wound on Gheth's shield arm. The fighter takes a step back and smirks, waggling his rapier mockingly. Longsword: 12 damage to Gheth; marked by fighter. The growling coming from the portal was only getting louder. Whatever it was, it would probably follow them through at any second. The girl in the crown takes no special notice of the escalating hostilities, and takes a moment to examine her reflection in the gigantic orb and pluck a few stray eyebrow hairs. ![]() Most amazing jew boots |
With renewed determination, he shakes off the drowsiness and thrusts his spear towards the sky, urging on the ethereal dagger towards the more dangerous of the troupe. Seeing the smirk on the halfling's face, Gheth growls, vowing that he'll wipe it off with his wickedly-barbed spear, if need be. "I may be more about the bandaging than the bloodletting, but you'll leave a perfectly nice stain on the mortar, friend, unless you back up the way you came." Shift to H-108 Sustain Spiritual Weapon Healing Word on Glenn (surge +7) I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
Last edited by Skexis; Aug 5, 2010 at 05:38 PM.
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move to K108 (around the fighter) Clever Strike vs fighter hit! 11 damage (figures) AP - Second wind I was speaking idiomatically. ![]() |
Where was Gary? Not again! Puyet could never keep a pet. Something bad always happened. He once had a bunny rabbit. It was lost one night in a drunken game of 'dress the bunny like a Dragonborn'. Where was his bunny rabbit now? Puyet picked up the dead thief and asked him. "WHERE IS MY BUNNY NOW?!?! WHERE IS HE?!?!" There was no response, although the thief did have the audacity to bleed on him. In a fit of rage, Puyet hurled the thief at the fighter and banged his head on his shield to wake himself from his stupor. Most amazing jew boots ![]() |
Garland marked with Aegis of Assault My blade lashes out, thundering towards the knight. Booming Blade - 19 + 3 + 4 + 11 = 37 Garland HIT - Damage 6 + 6 + 4 = 14 Very nice. Now if only I could make his head explode. FELIPE NO It was lunchtime at Wagstaff.
Touching butts had been banned by the evil Headmaster Frond. Suddenly, Tina Belcher appeared in the doorway. She knew what she had to do. She touched Jimmy Jr's butt and changed the world. |
A quick gesture from the dragonborn knits the worst of Glenn's wounds. He repays the favor by circling 'round the fighter, driving his blade into the halfling's back. Not his best work, but perhaps he'd drawn away the fighter's attention. 9 damage actually, since Gheth had shifted away by then there's no CA granted. 2 HP either way, but. Gra-fa-zut responds to Garland's angry assault with an equally fervent offense of his own, ripping through the straps of the knight's armor. A steel pauldron goes bouncing off the massive snake statue behind Garland, and the knight's sharp hiss of pain is clearly audible even through his helmet. 12 damage, and Garland marked (well, aegised, but that's not a word now is it). Lot of extra numbers in your combat math, there. Puyet casts about for his loyal goblin manservant, but alas! Gary is missing in action. Perhaps it would behoove Puyet to invest in a leash, or perhaps some kind of fencing. With a furious roar, Puyet heaves up the thief's stiffening corpse and flings it at the fighter. The halfling corpse soars through the misty air, trailing gold coins from the thief's pockets as his body turned over in midair. The dead body slams into the fighter with all the force of Puyet's rage, knocking him ass-over-teakettle onto the mist-covered floor. Critical Hit! 17 damage, fighter knocked prone. Not Second-Chancing that because it's awesome. Achievement Unlocked! To the black mage's great dismay, his sleep spell is entirely ineffective. It was time to intervene in a more direct manner. Arcs of electricity dart from his outstretched hands, striking targets all over the room. Chuckling darkly, the mage retreats behind the nearest statue for safety. 11 damage to Garrmondo, Gra-fa-zut, Glenn; Garrmondo bloodied ![]() What, you don't want my bikini-clad body? |
ALAS! I have missed him twice. If only he wasn't prone! Yes, it's his fault. It couldn't have been mine - my archery skills are without peer! Quarry Fighter. Twin Strike. AC 22 + 2 prone bonus needs 13+ to hit ![]() Move to M112. Enemy defenses (so I don't go crazy scrolling up) Fighter AC 22 Fort 20 Ref 19 Will 17 ~ approx 71/71 HP Black Mage AC 19 Fort 18 Ref 18 Will 20 ~ HP unknown White Mage AC 21 Fort 18 Ref 18 Will 20 ~ approx 61/75 HP Garland AC 21, Fort 18, Ref 17, Will 17 ~ HP unknown (12 damage to date) Jam it back in, in the dark. |
White Mage CUREs Fighter; surge expended for +17 HP. CURE is a ranged ability because I'm dumb, so Glenn gets in an AoO for 7 damage. Dang. ![]() There's nowhere I can't reach. |
"YOU!" shouts Garland in anguish. "I trusted you with my extremely cunning plan, and you betray me!" The two heavily-armored warriors awkwardly flail at each other, but only Garrmondo's blade actually finds purchase. Garland's counterattack is far off the mark, his greatsword smashing into the stones at Garrmondo's feet. The ginger halfling springs to his feet, nearly good-as-new thanks to the white mage's aid. With a sneer he turns his attention to Glenn, leaving a nasty slash on the rogue's face. Rapier: 10 damage to Glenn, marked. Mark on Gheth expires. Suddenly, three vicious simian creatures burst through the portal, each sporting a coat of snowy white fur. Yetis! Gheth realizes in retrospect that lingering so close to the portal might not have been the best idea. The one with horns was issuing an ear-piercing wail; Gheth was getting a headache just being near it. Princess Sara continues to absolutely not give a shit. Defenses: Yeti Hunter (G109): AC 22, Fort 19, Ref 18, Will 17 Yeti Howler (G107): AC 20, Fort 18, Ref 17, Will 18 Yeti Rampager (G108): AC 20, Fort 21, Ref 17, Will 15 ![]() This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. |
Enemy defenses (after Blinding Barrage) Fighter AC 22 Fort 20 Ref 19 Will 17 ~ approx 60/71 HP (55 if Pang lets Blinding Barrage's second damage roll stand) Black Mage AC 19 Fort 18 Ref 18 Will 20 ~ HP unknown White Mage AC 21 Fort 18 Ref 18 Will 20 ~ approx 25/61 HP Garland AC 21, Fort 18, Ref 17, Will 17 ~ HP unknown (12 damage to date) I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? |
Cal knows precious little about yetis save the obvious (they're medium natural humanoids), and nothing whatsoever about their particular abilities and talents, but he does recall a conversation overheard in a tavern once. It seems that several ranchers in the Lamid area suffered occasional yeti attacks, and one of them discovered a foolproof (and disgusting) countermeasure. One winter night all the goat pens on the outskirts of town were ravaged, save old man Husken's. Seems that one of his old billygoats had passed late the previous afternoon, and the carcass ripened in a hurry. The yeti tracks didn't even come within 20 yards of Husken's pen... maybe the yetis didn't care for the smell of spoiled meat, or were even repulsed by it.
As for the particular motivations of these individual yetis, it's probably a safe guess that they are motivated by being hungry. I was speaking idiomatically. |
Swiftcurrent to K109 Sizing up the things on the other side of the room, I landed right next to a little robed magician and some other dude with a sword. "Hey, guys, do you like lightning? I like lightning!" Thunderclap strike on WM and Fighter Fighter - 19 + 11 = 30 HIT; 9+6 =15 damage WM - 16+11 HIT; 12 damage What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? It was lunchtime at Wagstaff.
Touching butts had been banned by the evil Headmaster Frond. Suddenly, Tina Belcher appeared in the doorway. She knew what she had to do. She touched Jimmy Jr's butt and changed the world. |
Those yetis are causing this fight to snowball...
Puyet yells out loud that it would probably be a good idea for everybody to advance (or retreat, rather) to the castle doors to bottleneck this "chaos". How ya doing, buddy? ![]() |
Shift to I-107 Move to N-106 so as to only allow AoE from Fighter Sustain Spiritual Weapon (16 damage) (Booyakasha) Most amazing jew boots
Last edited by Skexis; Aug 10, 2010 at 08:34 PM.
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