[DnD] Once More Into The Depths (GFF D&D Adventure 8)

Originally Posted by Excerpt from Gheth's adventuring notes, pg. 425-501

...whereupon I was then fitted with a set of crude copper fang braces and sent on my way. I remember as if it was yesterday. Needless to say, I was distraught at first, but...

...and then I came upon the most fascinating mushroom, which really gave me a start. I mean, to see it growing out of the stone was one thing, but to have such a robust scent...

...given that I had already had a thaumateurgist provide him his posthumous performance review...

...and then I said to Mabel, I said...

...when suddenly, we were set upon by wild gorillas, and things seemed at their most grim!

Kylie. Kylie!
Run to O-14
Bastion of Health on Puyet

I was speaking idiomatically.

5 Dice Rolls Fruity intimidation.

Puyet had the sudden urge to do the Conga. So he did...very angrily.

After spanking the first monkey, Puyet glares diligently at the other.

"How do you like those bananas?"

Lead the Attack to I12
Hit w/ FURIOUS ASSAULT 32 dmg suck it you baboon.
Inspiring word to self. Spend one surge. Regain 18 life.
Intimidate other monkey.

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4 Dice Rolls outta the way, sucka

Garrmondo snaps to attention as the gorilla guerrillas charge into the fray, but when you're wearing 50 pounds of iron snapping to attention is more like "sluggishly rotating to attention." The apes of wrath pay little attention to his fancy footwork. Still, the sheer noise he made moving around was enough to prove a distraction; Glenn's blade gets to thoroughly explore some greasy grimy gorilla guts.

Lost in thought, Gheth hurries into the fray after overhearing the ruckus from a few rooms away. He makes the universal signal for "you've got something on your face," directing Puyet to wipe away a tuft of knuckle fur that had stuck to his nose. Thanks to this helpful depilation, Puyet regains his essential dignity. And dignity, of course, is crucial for hitting people with hammers.

Red ape bloodied, Yellow ape intimidated
You just barely succeeded at the intimidate, so keep your request fairly simple. He won't surrender until he's bloodied, though.

With a furious snarl, the silverback picks up Puyet like a rag doll and hurls him away. Unfortunately, the space between here and "away" is occupied by Cal, who barely maintains his footing as a flying warlord barrels over him. Puyet smashes into the floor at speed with a sickening crunch.

Fling: 39 damage to Puyet, thrown to M12. Bloodied and prone.
Midair collision with Cal: 7 damage to each.
Fling: +6 vs Reflex
Somehow the yellow ape still finds him intimidating. MY VERISIMILITUDE
Oh, and G-Unit gets +2 to attack rolls until Puyet's next turn.

Cal 28, Great Apes 23, Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5

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2 Dice Rolls Red Ape gets carefully hurt

Our erstwhile warlord leader is thrown about like he was made of paper. I shudder to think what the oversized ape will do to my delicate constitution if he gets his hairy hands on me.

The throw distracts me sufficiently that my attack loses most of its sting. Thanking the gods that I voided my bowels earlier, I shakily retreated by a smidgen, planting myself unsteadily on top of the fallen warlord.

Careful Attack: 13 + 5 + 1 = 19 > 18 AC of Red Ape. Hit for [ 2 + 7 ] = 9 HP damage.
Move to M12.
If Red Ape still alive, activate Spitting Cobra Stance.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

8 Dice Rolls puyet's inspiring word

Nobly risking his own hide by standing protectively over Puyet's prone form, Cal tries to finish off the most badly wounded of the apes. Against all hope and expectation, it continues to Not Die. Determined to keep his new ally at least somewhat safe, Cal readies an arrow for the next gorilla to approach him.

Despite the leader of the troupe so thoroughly trouncing Puyet, the gorilla he glowered at remains temporarily skittish and hides behind the silverback until it gets its nerve back. The more heavily-battered of the trio charges forward, though, realizing its taken too many wounds to survive regardless of the battle's ultimate end. Cal fires off his readied shot, and the ape sprawls into a motionless heap at his feet.

The third of the gorillas turns on Garrmondo, who looks like a much bigger threat despite his relative ineffectiveness. The ape's massive hand slaps him on the side of the head, knocking the helm of his new armor crooked and smashing his ear.

Slam: 17 damage to Garrmondo (+9 vs AC)


Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5, Cal 28, Great Apes 23

Puyet's underneath Cal, obv.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

4 Dice Rolls *sneak attack

Glenn notes the fighter's difficulty moving in his new armor and decides to help out a little bit. As Garrmondo's sword whistles through the air, Glenn quickly redirects it ever so slightly with his own blade - and the strike finds a place in the ape's shoulder.

Guided Shot - Garr's 16 (6+8+2 from puyet) is just enough to get through green ape's reflex defense.
18 damage

After which Glenn twirls his blade and sticks it into the ape's rib cage. Glenn had forgotten how much he enjoyed fighting alongside others.

clever strike 9+13=22 hit
7+6+12= 25 damage

There's nowhere I can't reach.

"Puyet not feel good. Puyet need aspirin tonic. Maybe fortnyquil."

Stand in N12.
Inspiring Word to self.
Second wind.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

2 Dice Rolls Daunting Light

Gheth sees a barely conscious but strangely majestic Puyet fly to the ground after the gorilla swiped him with its massive arm, and a surge of anger goes through him. Apes, out of nowhere. They didn't have the right to be living in a stairwell! Least of all a stairwell sans jungle temple.

Gathering his courage, Gheth charges the two remaining enemies, and adds a roar to his holy rebuke of randomape.

"Get your stinking paws off him, you damn dirty apes!"

Move to L-12
Daunting Light on Silverback with C.A. to Cal (miss)
Healing Word on Puyet (Surge +13)
Sorry, it had to be done

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls fuck yeah fling gheth

Garrmondo swings wide, his heavy armor still encumbering him. The ape turns his back on the fighter for a split second, and Glenn spots an opening. With a quick apology, the rogue mashes his elbow into the fighter. Already overbalanced, Garrmondo wildly swings his sword arm in a desperate attempt to keep from toppling over. Happily, his blade lodges in the aforementioned ape and he's able to steady himself. With a small grin of satisfaction, Glenn slashes the skewered gorilla's throat. This monkey business was really bringing their teamwork together.

Puyet cautiously gets to his feet, making sure he has all his important organs, only to have the cleric charge past him in a fury. Gheth's indignant shout draws the silverback's attention, but unlike Puyethe's quick enough to dodge the ape's attempt to give him frequent flier miles. Frustrated, the silverback pounds its chest and issues a furious roar. His one surviving ally seems slightly emboldened.

Chest Beat: +2 to gorilla attack rolls for one round

Cal 28, Great Apes 23, Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5

I was speaking idiomatically.

4 Dice Rolls Lightning arrow

I step back while unleashing a well-aimed lightning arrow at the silverback, and ready another arrow for when it comes closer to me. Should the dragonborn shift back after attacking, to provoke it into barreling forward, it's gonna get it!

Move to N12.
Silverback is my Quarry.
Shadow Wasp Strike at Silverback. It takes [ 11 + 7 + 1 + 6 = ] 25 HP damage.

How ya doing, buddy?

3 Dice Rolls *damage

The no-longer-frightened ape comes barreling back down from the north end of the room, suffused with primal rage. With a growl, the ape rearranges the relative locations of the internal organs within Glenn's abdomen. They still work all right but it's kind of disconcerting. And painful. Glenn needs to get some distance between himself and these gorillas, but how will he engineer his Ape Escape?

Silverback bloodied by Cal

Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5, Cal 28, Great Apes 23

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2 Dice Rolls And a box of chocolates.

Puyet seemed to shake off the jet lag from his recent flight. In appreciation, he decided to deliver a personal message concerning his thanks. And what better way to show that appreciation than a bludgeon to the face?

Move to L13
Basic Attack.
Hit. 17 dmg.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

3 Dice Rolls *sneaky

Glenn takes the ape's charge rather unhappily. His armor seemed to have survived the blow perfectly intact, but his slightly more squishy innards hadn't enjoyed the event. Glenn tries to put a decent sized gash into the ape's abdomen before moving behind the fighter.

Clever strike vs. yellow ape hits
23 damage
shift to O15

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls *damage

Gheth, being a practical man, saw no reason to let a good spear go to waste.

Healing Strike on Silverback (14 Damage) w/ surge to Glenn (Surge +4)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

5 Dice Rolls cobra damage

Bleeding profusely, the silverback takes a last desperate swing at the cleric. Gheth was too busy trying to pry his spear out of the ape's ribs to deflect the blow. That gorilla had really made a monkey out of him.

Slam: 15 damage to Gheth

Cal 28, Great Apes 23, Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

2 Dice Rolls How you like dem bananas

It is past time to bring this monkey business to a close.

TWIN STRIKE! Thwip thwip
Geez. What are the odds, rolling out the ones for Pang?

...

As soon as I stop shooting like an amateur.

I take a step back to gather my thoughts and hopefully distract my allies from seeing that pathetic display of archery.

I wonder if this is how the human fighter feels like. Not that it's all him though. He can't help it if enemies increase in strength faster than him...

Move to O13. Hang head in shame.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Puyet couldn't help but notice the shapeshifter shoot two arrows practically at his feet.

"My great great orcmother could shoot better than that. Maybe you could shapeshift yourself a fucking EYEBALL to AIM with."

I was speaking idiomatically.

3 Dice Rolls god just kill it

The last surviving ape subordinate does its best to pummel Garrmondo with its greasy meat paws, but to no avail. In an apparent act of attempted suicide, the gorilla then slowly advances on Cal — but Cal's readied spitting-cobra arrow also flies wide. The ape can't even kill itself competently.

Garrmondo 19, Puyet 14, Glenn 11, Gheth 8, Silverback 5, Cal 28, Great Apes 23

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls dmg

Puyet could feel his training coming back to him, and now that he had a feel for this ragtag group, he felt he could more effectively control the battlefield, although this was a far cry from a battlefield of any kind.
Puyet ordered the Dragonborn to encircle the ape so that they might strike him better.

Shift to K13
Wolf Pack Tactics, Gheth shifts to K11 for combat advantage.
5+12+2=hit!
8+7=15 dmg!

How ya doing, buddy?

3 Dice Rolls *sneaky beating

Glenn watches the rest of the group, with the exception of the changeling, beat the apes into submission. Except for the submission part. There wasn't a lot of that. Mostly there was just beating and death. Glenn congratulates the fighter on conquering his new armor as he steps forward to finish off the beast.

move to N14
clever strike 5+13+2 = 19 hit!
7+6+11 = 24 damage

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

1 Die Roll lance

Gheth is in the middle of business time, and puts all his concentration into totally rockin' the prayer implement.
Alas, he sees something shiny, and it is for naught.

Lance of Faith on Grape Ape (miss)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

And so it was that G-Unit mercilessly slew the last apes in all of Faerun, which had been driven beneath the earth by merciless urban expansion and also by drunken idiots who shoot arrows at everything they don't understand.

In fairness, those apes were being of acting like a bunch of dicks. Plus, they don't even have any treasure because they're apes. What a rip.

VICTORY! 725 XP (145 each)
Extinction Bonus: 3650 XP (730 each)
Level Up!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ah, the sweet scent of victory (and blood and ichor)! And although the apes don't carry anything valuable outwardly, an experienced ranger such as myself know the inherent value locked within its body.

Eagerly taking up my improvised twin daggers, I slice the silverback's abdomen open in a search for ritual components and some trophies. Its skin and a paw should suffice. This is the first natural animal I've fought since joining Garrmondo's group, and my excitement surges.

Expend 1 healing surge.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

"You lost my Goblin so that you could shoot arrows down a stairwell? I should pummel you. We've been together not one day and you're already testing my nerves," Puyet roared. He kicks the face of the ape, breaking it's neck, while Cal tries to harvest his precious implements.
"The rest of us had better lead ourselves somewhere before you manage to get ahead and dive us into more trouble."

Puyet attempts to return to traveling through the west door.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Lost a goblin? Gary's standing right where he's supposed to be, in the room where Skunkwhistle has set up shop. His goblin? Gary's a convert to the preacher's cause. One gorilla slam too many has apparently addled the half-orc's brains. That is, if he had any worth addling in the first place. In any case, the half-orc seemed impatient to leave, so I decide to ask for a bit of extra help.

"Gary, can you help me with this? Bush meat, it's good eatin'! I got some torches and oil - we can have a barbecue. Oh, and why don't you invite the other goblins in? I'm sure they're hungry for a hot meal."

How ya doing, buddy?