God is my Co-conspirator

I was in the bar yesterday and noticed Fox News reporting on a hijacking of an Aeromexico flight. My buddy asked me why people would hijack a plane these days and I explained to him that asylum seekers used to hijack planes all the time and that the story was probably boring. Little did I fucking know.

Plane hijacker 'wanted to warn Mexican president about earthquake' | World news | guardian.co.uk

Quote:

More than 100 airline passengers were today released unharmed after their plane was hijacked by a man who claimed to be on a divine mission to warn the Mexican president of an earthquake.

The Aeromexico flight was seized as it came in to land at Mexico City after a flight from the resort city of Cancun.

José Mar Flores, a 44-year-old Bolivian preacher, used a fake bomb to carry out his hijacking and said yesterday's date – 9/9/09 – was the number 666 turned upside down.

He said had been told by God to warn the president, Felipe Calderòn, of an impending earthquake, and ordered the pilot to circle the city seven times, demanding to speak to Calderòn.

The passengers were initially not told about what was happening as the pilot negotiated with Flores, who eventually allowed him to land the plane.

The hijacker then kept the 103 passengers and crew on the tarmac for more than an hour as the plane was surrounded by heavily-armed police.

He agreed to release women and children before, minutes later, police stormed the aircraft and escorted several handcuffed men away without firing a shot.

Officers later said there was only one hijacker and the other men had been briefly detained because the suspect had told a flight attendant he had three accomplices.

Flores later said his three companions were "the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost" and he had taken control of the aircraft with "a juice can with some little lights I attached". "Christ is coming soon," he added.

The pilot told reporters Flores "said he had tried to speak to the president for three months and since there hadn't been an answer he decided to use this type of threat with an airline".

Bueno!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It's good to see Mexicans shunning that lazy label.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

He was Bolivian anyway. We're still lazy as fuck.

How ya doing, buddy?

Told by God, I see.
Hearing voices, I see.
Future in the nuthouse, I see.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

At least he prevented the earthquake in the end. Looks like he did a good job of keeping the plague away, too!

I was speaking idiomatically.

He didn't do shit for the plague since swine flu spread all the way here.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Encephalon

He was Bolivian anyway. We're still lazy as fuck.

O, you think there's a difference between you people. How quaint.

FELIPE NO

There is a difference. It's called an international border.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Come off it. All south americans are mexican.

How ya doing, buddy?

We are NORTH AMERICAN, DAMN YOU.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

VIVA MORALES! MORALES LIBRE!

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

We are NORTH AMERICAN, DAMN YOU.

Oh I know. But Bolivia's in South America. I was really just sort of saying that South America's like the prolapsed anus of Mexico is all. No need to be all offended. =o

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

South North Amexicans.

This is a label where everyone wins.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Isn't earthquake in earthquake prom area inevitable anyway? -w- I'd much rather depend on the fault monitoring and quake resistant architectural design then divine revelation.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

They can't afford that shit, magi. They can barely afford to pray at church.

FELIPE NO