[DnD] The Haunting of Hargast (GFF D&D Adventure 3)

Once again I called on my religious training to try and identify the purpose of the ritual, before going and having a good listen at each of the doors.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll bob's religion check

Bob examines the body and the altar, confirming the nature of their enemy. The man's mouth is full of a stinking black fluid, easily recognizable as the tainted blood of an undead monstrosity. Taken with the dozens of tiny puncture wounds all over his body for the sake of draining out all his own lifeblood, this seems to be an abandoned attempt to induct the man into vampirism. The holy symbol of Chauntea hangs about his neck, providing an indication of why the ritual might have been so unsuccessful.

At the north door, Bob hears a staccato tapping sound coming faintly from the northwest. At the west door, Bob can hear the noise of at least half a dozen individual voices groaning wordlessly, punctuated by the occasional rattling sound.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

If the charm had helped this poor fellow, it might not hurt to have similar protection myself. I swiped the charm and placed it round my own neck, hoping that meaningless trinkets would work as well as genuine religious fervour as protection against vampires.

I suggested to the others that the west door hid a bunch of zombies and the northern, much nicer door probably had the guy we were looking for behind it and that it might be prudent to bar the western door then kick in the northern one and slay us some vampires.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

After a short period of consideration, during which the Horde reaffirmed my opinion that they were all undead themselves by standing around slack-jawed, I decided that it might not be a bad idea to try out a few test strategums with our new team mate before taking on the head honcho.

Ignoring the nice looking door for now, I opened the door with the groaning behind it, staff raised ready to unleah fiery hell on whatever lay beyond.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

7 Dice Rolls animated armour initiative

Having astutely identified their likely foe, Bob presents the Horde with a cunning plan to win the day.

They stare at him vacantly, and he waits for their reply.

Time passes. All around them, the world continues to turn. Children are born, and old folks pass away. A rabbit hides under a log and a coyote lopes past unaware. The salmon swim up the rivers to spawn. Somewhere, a glorious eagle takes flight. Seconds whirl into minutes, whirling into hours.

Bob sighs in exasperation, turning to the west door and punting it open. He wasn't about to go take on a vampire alone. Whatever groaning wretch is making all this racket should be easy enough to deal with given a fireblast or two, and then any loot would be his with the horde trapped in an apparent coma.

The elf stumbles upon the peculiar sight of what seemed to be a brain in a jar, sitting idly on a little stone pedestal. Four empty suits of plate mail stand at attention, almost as if attending the little jar. Somebody somewhere was missing their brain, and Bob reckoned there was a percentage in it for him somewhere. People get attached to their brains and quite likely they'd pay dearly to have it returned. The groaning from the west was quite a bit louder now, though obviously the jar full of brains wasn't making any noise. Doors lead to the north and south, and what looks to be a portcullis gate leads west. Bob can't see what might be beyond the portcullis from this angle.

Stepping forward for a closer look, Bob inadvertently kicks a pebble across the floor. The helms on the suits of armor smoothly rotate to face the elf, and the brain in a jar slowly levitates upward from its pedestal. The brain within begins twitching violently, and though it makes no sound Bob hears a strange and tortured voice shriek inside his very mind.

"DESTROY HIM! MY NEW VESSEL ARRIVES AT LAST!"

Gripping his staff nervously, Bob shoots a glance back toward the horde. They still hadn't so much as followed into the altar room.

Fuckers.

Bob 23, Animated Armor 13, Argumentus 12, Garrmondo 11, Gabriel 10, Brain in a Jar 9, Motsognir 9

Brain: AC 18; Fortitude 14, Reflex 14, Will 18
Armor: AC 18; Fortitude 16, Reflex 15, Will 13

I was speaking idiomatically.

"Wait, hang on... is that a brain in a jar?"

The dwarf suddenly looked excited.



What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

"Run away, woman!"

FELIPE NO

I flung open the door and was faced with a rather disconcerting sight. Instead of the group of shambling zombies I was expecting, I found myself face to face with four large suits of moving armour and a brain in a jar. I yelled a rallying cry to the lads, "CHHAAAARRRRGGEEE" and assumed the smug look of someone who had just unleashed four angry combatants onto an unsuspecting enemy.

After a couple of seconds, the carnage I had been expecting to witness had failed to materialise. Surely my companions would relish such an easy victory? I glanced over my shoulder to see what they were up and my heart sank.

There was noone behind me, except for the poor unfortunate with his innards spread all over the altar.

Backing slowly out of the room, I closed the door behind me as calmly as I could and got ready to run.

Move right, close door, run as fast as possible back towards the group, I'm pretty sure Bob can get behind Arg at a flat run

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Cursing his lazy subordinates, Bob takes a careful step backward before slamming the door shut and booking it. The brain's telepathic voice shrieks in fury.

"Damn you all for your sluggishness! He's closed the door! My one weakness! Quickly, open it up. When you kill him, be careful not to damage the skull!"

While the fingerless gauntlets of the armor have some trouble with the door handle, it's still easy enough to fling the door back open. The clanking homonculi rattle their way toward Bob, now safely ensconced behind his customary wall of meatshields.

Argumentus, Garrmondo, Gabriel, Brain in a Jar, Motsognir, Bob, Animated Armor

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 Die Roll Skill check

Having safely rejoined the group, I took a moment to reflect on my training, hoping that someone had once taught me the best way to kill a brain in a jar.

Insight or religion or something check to see if I know anything about Brains in Jars

There's nowhere I can't reach.

1 Die Roll arcana re: brains

While actually seeing one in the... flesh? was a bit of a shock, Bob swiftly recalled his lessons on the preservation of living brains in Necromancy 101.

Different kinds of brains in jars exist, though each is created using the same principles. A brain in a broken jar is created through incomplete rituals, spoiling fluids, or damaged containers. A brain in a broken jar is usually deranged. In general, a brain in a jar prefers an isolated existence. Some wall themselves within former laboratories and dungeons, where they slip into madness. The preservation fluid within a brain’s jar is a valuable alchemical material, especially useful for crafting undead. Some alchemists claim that the fluid can be distilled into an elixir that imparts the memory and knowledge of the jar’s occupant brain. The brains of these creatures often come from cult leaders or advisors, whom the subject’s associates have tried to eternally preserve. While such brains are usually evil, it is sometimes possible to return a brain to its host body to grant it a peaceful death.

Brain In A Broken Jar (small natural animate)

Powers: Dominate, Mind Stab, Faulty Invisibility

No specific resistances or vulnerabilities

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Argumentus opts to hold his ground with the dainty lady beside him.

Ready Reaping Strike if anything steps adjacent

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf readied his weapon, raising his shield and beginning to chant softly to Kord. The undead came, and he would be ready.

Stand put for now. Full defense.

How ya doing, buddy?

Motsognir backed away. He knew his legs couldn't make it to the brain room without the armor breaking them first. The armor would come to him.

move to O27

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

3 Dice Rolls Brain attempts Dominate

His new allies seemingly complacent to remain passive in the face of the onrushing foe, Garrmondo takes the responsibility of frontline defense on himself. He blocks the doorway, lashing out at the nearest armor with his new (and painful) sword.

8 damage to Animated Armor

The evil brain jar slowly hovers its way into the altar room. "Hide behind the strong, will you? Well, I'll show you just how reliable your men-at-arms really are! You there!"

The jar sloshes in Argumentus' direction.

"Destroy the elf! I shall reward you beyond your wildest imaginings!"

Alas, Argumentus pays no attention. He has just found all the reward he needs — hiding in his back teeth. Yum, leftovers!

Bob, Animated Armor, Argumentus, Garrmondo, Gabriel, Brain in a Jar, Motsognir

FELIPE NO

Having reached a relatively safe position to shoot spells from, I moved slightly to get a better view before unleashing twin blasts of ice at the approaching armour.

Move up two square, Icy rays at orange and yellow armours.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

7 Dice Rolls green armor punch

Safely returned to the relative security of the group, Bob assaults the clattering attackers with icy fury. Frost coats their already-rusty hinges and clasps, and they grind to a temporary halt.

16 damage to Animated Armor (immobilized)
10 damage to Animated Armor (immobilized)

Those armors which can still move close in on Garrmondo, swinging their gauntlets wildly.

Gauntlet Punch: 7 damage to Garrmondo

Argumentus, Garrmondo, Gabriel, Brain in a Jar, Motsognir, Bob, Animated Armor

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Argumentus, extremely frustrated now that the baddies wouldn't come to him, takes out his anger by sending the now spent armoire sailing over Garrmondo's posh head.

move to N27
improvised thrown attack on red armor

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf hated fighting in clogged hallways when he wasn't the one doing the clogging. He stayed where he was, continuing to ready his shield. The moment the line broke, he would stand fast and unleash the destructive force of Kord's might on them.

stand pat. Full defense. Wait.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

7 Dice Rolls mind stab damage

His smashy ways stymied by the bottleneck of the doorway, Argumentus resorts to smashing at range. Alas, the armoir goes sailing harmlessly overhead and smashes to splinters on the floor.

Realizing that his heroics are cramping everyone else's style, Garrmondo attempts to lure the nearest armor within reach of the other fighters. He dashes the pommel of his sword against the side of the empty helmet, and the clumsy armor staggers forward just as Garrmondo nimbly backs away.

Footwork Lure: 8 damage to Animated Armor; pulled into N24

"Insolent worms!" shrieks the brain, hovering just behind the closest armor. "I'll show you the price of disobedience!" A sudden stab of pain lances into the skulls of both Gabriel and Garrmondo. The continued giggling of the jarred brain's shrill voice inside their minds only adds insult to injury, and when they look up from clutching their agonized heads the brain seems to have disappeared from sight! It can't have gone far; the sloshing of the jar's noxious fluids is still audible.

Mind Stab: 7 psychic damage to Gabe, Garrmondo; -2 to Will (save ends). Brain goes Invisible.

Motsognir, Bob, Animated Armor, Argumentus, Garrmondo, Gabriel, Brain in a Jar

How ya doing, buddy?

Motsognir's little arms cannot reach past his flamboyant new friend. He picks up the most dangerous-looking scrap of wood he can find and throws it at the nearest suit of armor, not wanting to seem completely useless in a tight spot.

throw something at red armor

I was speaking idiomatically.

3 Dice Rolls Damage red

Whilst I was glad to be safely behind someone with some armour on, I had the feeling I was in the way somewhat.

I hurled a fireball over the head of the man in the poncy shirt before ducking back into the room. If this chap was planning on continuing to draw the armour towards us, I didn't want to be in punching range when he did.

Flame burst at N23, move to Q26

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

3 Dice Rolls red punch garr

Motsognir is perhaps at his most useless, reduced to tossing splinters at the oncoming heavy armor. Next: The ferocious paper-cut.

Bob continues his flight from danger, laying down covering fire.

6 damage to Animated Armor

The armors continue their mindless march forward, one simply trudging into the back of the next as Garrmondo blocks the passage with his shield.

This is getting silly. "Let's just stay put! They'll come to us!"

Argumentus, Garrmondo, Gabriel, Brain in a Jar, Motsognir, Bob, Animated Armor

FELIPE NO

Argumentus spends this time of crisis gazing at his navel.

Ready Reaping Strike for adjacent and yaddy yadda

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

"Yo Garrmondo, back the fuck out the doorway so we can flank these bitches."

Jam it back in, in the dark.