[DnD] Let's Cast Magic Missile!

Guys, guys, guys, I've got it. Attack its club. There really isn't an ogre, so that's why you keep missing it. One of the elves is actually an illithid!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

DRAW HIM IN

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Deni, I'm pretty sure that Pang was pretty clear that we have to flank this motherfucker if we want to take him down. It seems to me that the hallway that you're blocking him from entering would not only let us flank him, but his massive body would stop the archers from hitting us, so, um. Just retreat already. I know you're brave and all but strategy too, yes.

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I have a stupid question for Mr. Pang.

Virtually all of the attacks (except Shin's spells and Daunting Light), go against "AC". What is this AC - accuracy or acrobatics?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Zergrinch

I have a stupid question for Mr. Pang.

Virtually all of the attacks (except Shin's spells and Daunting Light), go against "AC". What is this AC - accuracy or acrobatics?

If I recall correctly, AC stands for "Armor Class" - presumably the toughness of the ogre's armor and/or thick skin in this case.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

That sounds rather plausible. I guess the lot is screwed, since most of their attacks will strike against this Armor Class. So much for Pangalin's sage advice

Originally Posted by Pangalin

And so our friend the ogre is making good use of this second interpretation. His actual Reflex defense is relatively poor as you'd expect. It's all a question of puzzling out a given monster's strengths and weaknesses. An ogre, inherently, is hardy and durable but also sluggish and stupid. So it's down to making attacks against the proper defenses.

FELIPE NO

Except that, if you had actually bothered reading, he mentioned that the flank gives a to hit bonus, so.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by knkwzrd

Deni, I'm pretty sure that Pang was pretty clear that we have to flank this motherfucker if we want to take him down. It seems to me that the hallway that you're blocking him from entering would not only let us flank him, but his massive body would stop the archers from hitting us, so, um. Just retreat already. I know you're brave and all but strategy too, yes.

Point.

counterpoint, if I may interject here-

you're catching up on some light reading, seeing what's on the news, and rifling through the wizard's things. Arg meanwhile is fixing himself a nice sandwich of mushrooms, gorgonzola and a hard roll, washing the lot down with some cider.

I'm well back in the hallway and trying to hit the dude but I ain't got a whole lot of help know what I'm sayin

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by knkwzrd

Deni, I'm pretty sure that Pang was pretty clear that we have to flank this motherfucker if we want to take him down. It seems to me that the hallway that you're blocking him from entering would not only let us flank him, but his massive body would stop the archers from hitting us, so, um. Just retreat already. I know you're brave and all but strategy too, yes.

Yep. And we needed another round to heal up. Arg is still a pin cushion. And now he's gonna have a, I'm guessing, better weapon. Give 'em a round to beat on our tank and then draw him in with a challenge.

Strategy.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Is he? I thought he was doing well enough.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Yeah I was just gonna fire Unstoppable and wait for you to draw in the ogre. I don't really need any more healing right now. You should've talked to me about this.

Additional Spam:
Also this should go without saying but I just don't know. Lurk you should be prepared to move back to the end of the hallway because the Ogre has a long reach and we need to draw him in as far as possible.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

You guys are gonna get Brigid trapped between a wall and a dumb place. Still, all this strategery is filling me with... what is this strange feeling

is it pride

Originally Posted by knkwzrd

his massive body would stop the archers from hitting us

Nooooooope, allies don't block ranged shots. Presumably they wait for an opening to fire through his armpit or something.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Try not to draw it in past the doorway I'm in, Bob's quite happy shooting and missing all day whilst not being shot back at. Pang, can I target spells specifically at a certain square a large monster is in so as, for example to hit the elves standing behind it with the blast and not the dwarf in front of it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Yes, you can.

FELIPE NO

Okay, assuming that I don't lose interest by 2010 when my turn could finally come up, I would like to join the list of potential players as a Warforged Warlock named Robin.

A once-plucky and curious construct who had desired to "be human," he pursued dark arcane means by which to accomplish this goal. In his studies he became disillusioned with humanity as a whole and no longer wishes to do so, but his prior training remains with him. He has a lasting prejudice against humans for the absolute dicks they can be, and secretly wouldn't mind their destruction.

He runs on BASIC.

(I'll construct a character sheet if and when the need arises.)

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Bradylama

Also this should go without saying but I just don't know. Lurk you should be prepared to move back to the end of the hallway because the Ogre has a long reach and we need to draw him in as far as possible.

If you need me in the hallway to draw him in then I'll stay; I have a second wind, dwarven chainmail and both healing words at my disposal. Otherwise I'll just stand north of Mots and his wrecking ball axe.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

STRATEMGY.

All right, he can hammer on me for a turn and then I'll shuffle back a bit and let him move in.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Could you hold him long enough for me to set up a couple of paint pots on string to swing at his head?

How ya doing, buddy?

Here's the important question that none of you PCs are asking:


Does the ogre even fit in the hallway?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Ah, but they've encountered this precise conundrum before.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

The dragon ogre is 2 squares wide.

The stairs are hallway is 2 squares wide.

(and even if it were a narrow hallway, the ogre could squeeze

Squeeze

You can squeeze through an area that isn’t as wide as

the space you normally take up. Big creatures usually

use this move action to fit into narrow corridors, but a

Medium or a Small creature can use it to fit into a con-

strained space, such as a burrow.

SQUEEZE: MOVE ACTION SQUEEZE: MOVE ACTION

✦ Smaller Space: A Large, Huge, or Gargantuan

creature reduces its space by 1. For example, a

Large creature that squeezes has a space of 1 (1

square) instead of 2 (4 squares). A Huge creature’s

space changes from 3 (9 squares) to 2 (4 squares).

When a Medium or smaller creature squeezes, the

DM decides how narrow a space the creature can

occupy. If an effect prevents a creature from leaving

a square in order to squeeze, the creature cannot

squeeze.

✦ Half Speed: As part of the same move action, move

up to half your speed.

✦ –5 Penalty to Attack Rolls: You have a –5 penalty

to attack rolls until you return to your normal space.

✦ Grant Combat Advantage: You grant combat

advantage to all enemies until you return to your

normal space.

✦ Provoke Opportunity Attacks: If squeezing causes

any part of your space to leave a square adjacent

to an enemy, that enemy can make an opportunity

attack against you.

)

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This is what I get for only starting to follow this since Crusader.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

You're doing it wrong.

FELIPE NO

Ah but I did it wrong LAST. I was not the first doing-it-wrong-er.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Huh? =I

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I don't really know, myself. Was I getting into character even though it'll be a year before my turn comes up?



THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW.

How ya doing, buddy?