[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

Brigid hacks away at the enemy spellcaster, leaving him only with the most trifling reserves of strength.

9 damage

The battered mage crept down the stairs and, startled to see the human still living, fired off his strongest spell in a desperate gambit to aid him.

The dragon's irritated trot through the murky water slows to a trudge, and his massive maw gapes open in a yawn. His ancient and powerful halitosis is indescribable.

Dragon is slowed

The mostly-ignored archers fire on Gabe.

12 damage, Gabriel bloodied

The dragon takes a single lazy step forward and sprays a piddling mist of acid onto Argumentus before dozing off.

5 damage to Argumentus (bloodied). Dragon unconscious.

Gabriel, Argumentus, Hobgoblin Soldier, Motsognir, Hobgoblin Warcaster, Brigid, Scary Bob, Hobgoblin Archers, Black Dragon

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The dwarf took a deep breath to steel himself and took off at a dead run for the ladder, looking to climb and then cut him some archers.

Dwarven second wind
Bolstering strike on archer.

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Argumentus is so deeply touched by Scary Bob's uncharacteristic selflessness that he experiences second wind.

Leaving the dragon to his impromptu slumber Argumentus makes his way as far up the stairs as he can.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Gabriel charges forward mightily and attempts to climb a ladder with both his hands full. It doesn't work so well, but he feels good about trying.

Next time, you insolent ladder. Next time.

Gabriel's HP +9

Finally getting some distance on the beast, Argumentus slogs his way out of the water and onto the stairs at last.

Argumentus' HP +10

The soldier flails away at Soggy, scoring a glancing blow on his neck.

5 damage

Motsognir, Hobgoblin Warcaster, Brigid, Scary Bob, Hobgoblin Archers, Black Dragon, Gabriel, Argumentus, Hobgoblin Soldier

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Motsognir SHIFTED AWAY from the soldier and swung what he hoped was a killing blow to the Warcaster.

Viper's Strike again, why not?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Sidling away from danger, Motsognir gently assaults the warcaster with only the slightest of wounds. As he collapses to the floor, the caster reaches out a desperate hand in the direction of his unfinished breakfast. His dead features are full of an ineffable longing.

3 damage, warcaster killed.

Brigid, Scary Bob, Hobgoblin Archers, Black Dragon, Gabriel, Argumentus, Hobgoblin Soldier, Motsognir

I was speaking idiomatically.

No big loss. I got the feeling that Ulvig didn't like him.

Sling at W Archer

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If I was going to be honest, I was more than a little surprised to see the dragon first slump then fall asleep completely. The big human scrambled past me to safety and I was about to follow him until I thought what a wasted opportunity it would be not to attack the sleeping dragon. I fired off a frost ray, the sleep spell having drained me rather precluding more impressive spells. I held my ground figuring I'd wait for the beast to wake up before running for cover and not wishing to get within line of sight of the archers.

Ray of Frost on dragon

FELIPE NO

Brigid puts one right between the locations where the archer's eyebrows might theoretically have once been.

6 damage to left archer

Faced with a massive reptile, Bob takes the logical step of reducing its body temperature.

Coup de grace: automatic critical hit. 15 damage, dragon slowed in the event that it wakes up.

Seeing Gabe at the base of their ladder and unable to get a good angle on him, the archers retreat toward the other end of their ledge.

The dragon snores a little, blowing bubbles in the muck. It'd be cute if it wasn't hideous and abominable.

Gabriel, Argumentus, Hobgoblin Soldier, Motsognir, Brigid, Scary Bob, Hobgoblin Archers, Black Dragon

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The dwarf tried yet again to manipulate the ladder, the dwarf took a moment to grip his holy symbol tighter and feel healing surge through his stout limbs.

If he made the ladder, he would charge at the nearest archer, laying into him with bolstering strike.

charge, lay hands heal, murderize

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Argumentus makes his way up the stairs to find his betrayers trying their best to deal with the hobgoblins.

He points to the soldier and marks him.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

"Okay, I'm going to use my second wind and then charge up the ladder."

"Charge up the... Dave, your character's hands are both full. He can't even climb the ladder, let alone charge it. I don't even know what that would entail. Brad, go ahead and take your turn while Dave studies up on anatomy."

MOMENTS LATER

"Alright, I'm going to charge up the ladder."

"But you already... that doesn't work, Dave, because..."

"Yeah, let's try it again."

"Ok, so how do you propose that... lemme see here... Gabriel. How does Gabriel 'charge' the ladder with both hands full? I am honestly curious."

"Well, why doesn't he jump? Just hop up the ladder. Hop hop hop."

"That's.... I.... I can't even... Okay, you know what? Fine. Let's do it. Make an Acrobatics check."

"You know it."

(clatter)

"Well, I'll be damned."

-----------------------------

In a superheroic and extraordinarily undwarflike display of poise, Gabriel Sledgehammer charges up the ladder. He leaps, like a graceful ballerina, from rung to rung. It is patently ridiculous to behold.

Arriving atop the ledge, he takes a moment to bask in the glory before mauling a nearby (and awestruck) hobgoblin.

14 damage, archer bloodied. Gabriel's HP 27 (2)

Ascending the stairwell, Argumentus casts about for a foe. His brash and boastful challenges are of limited utility, however, since he can't actually see anybody.

The soldier does wander in the direction of the stairwell regardless, more out of curiosity than anything else.

Motsognir, Brigid, Scary Bob, Hobgoblin Archers, Black Dragon, Gabriel, Argumentus, Hobgoblin Soldier

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf smiled widely as gore splattered across his face. Truly Murray's past life as a circus acrobat came in handy.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Motsognir ran across the room once again and made a swing at the last soldier.

Viper's Strike, again

I was speaking idiomatically.

Walks for squares west
Sling at visible archer

How ya doing, buddy?

The dragon continued to sleep so I fired another Frost Ray at the defenceless creature. In fact, I was so excited I fired two.

Ray of frost at dragon, spend action point, another ray of frost

FELIPE NO

Quote:

Ray of frost at dragon, spend action point, another ray of frost

look at this dude he gonna get raped

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Motsognir rushes across the room, sinking his mighty axe deep into the flesh of... the floor. Oh, bad luck.

Brigid sends a stone flying, cutting through an archer's bow, his bowstring, his thumb, part of his forearm, his ear, and about 3 millimeters of wall.

Critical Hit! 7 damage.

Bob continues merrily tormenting the unconscious dragon, just for laughs.

2x coup de grace criticals: 14 damage, 14 damage

Deprived of his bow, the archer draws a longsword against Gabriel. The charmingly-nimble Dwarf just laughs it off. The second archer's arrows fare no better.

The dragon at last snaps to wakefulness, spending a few moments coughing up all the swampy water he'd inhaled during his nap.

Gabriel, Argumentus, Hobgoblin Soldier, Motsognir, Brigid, Scary Bob, Hobgoblin Archers, Black Dragon

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf motioned with his shield at the goblin behind the one he currently faced, the skull on his head bouncing pleasantly.

"Right. That's another arrow you've shot at me. When I'm done wif 'im, you're next."

And with that he sank his axe back into the goblin, growling all the while and loving how awesome he must have looked hopping up the ladder.

Bolstering Strike on Gobbler, divine challenge on Gobbler behind him

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Argumentus moves to the southwest of the hobgoblin soldier, launching a reaping strike, and marking him.

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Gabriel casually smacks down the bloody lump that used to be a hobgoblin, smirking at the next one in line.

11 damage, archer killed. Surviving archer marked.

Argumentus proceeds to the top of the stairs, using his hammer as a handy attention-getter.

4 damage. Soldier marked.

The soldier tries his flail against the harassing Argumentus, producing an irritating clanging noise but not much else.

Motsognir, Brigid, Scary Bob, Hobgoblin Archer, Black Dragon, Gabriel, Argumentus, Hobgoblin Soldier

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Motsognir moves one square northwest. "Aha! The slopehead lives! Hit him again!" he shouts, happy to see his companion once more.

Commander's Strike

I was speaking idiomatically.

moves E of soldier
Priest's Shield against soldier, bonus to Soggy

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Argumentus gladly continues pummeling the soldier when asked.

10 damage

Brigid hurries over to join the lynch mob, but the soldier raises his shield just in time.

miss

Scary Bob, Hobgoblin Archer, Black Dragon, Gabriel, Argumentus, Hobgoblin Soldier, Motsognir, Brigid

FELIPE NO

The dragon was awake and I figured that no amount of good morning tea and toast was going to placate it. I scurried up the stairs to the relative safety of the room above. Seeing my companions still locked in mortal combat with the goblins, I fired off a Frost Ray at the nearest one, knowing that our best chance of defeating the dragon lay in killing off the goblins first.

Up the stairs to one square southeast of Argumentus, Ray of Frost on hobgoblin warrior

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?