[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

I looked around for any flammable liquid I might be able to pour down the hole. There was nothing immediately available so I climbed up the bookshelf and relieved myself into the hole instead. I had drunk a fair bit of water since our discovery of the casks and had a piss an ogre would have been proud of.

Satisfied that this battle of wits had been won, I joined the others in the statue room.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Knowing the lumbering man was probably bleeding in a corner somewhere, I didn't think it was best to send him headfirst. And the dragon-child didn't look threatening, but one could never be sure whether mama-lizard or papa-lizard were too hard or too soft.

Being the only one in the room, I pulled out the other vial of potion and tossed it to the elf.
"For whomever needs it, I suspect."

I loaded my crossbow and worked my way down the hall.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

You step in the gloomy hallway and trudge forward, squinting in the darkness. Just as your eyes begin to adjust, you stop dead in your tracks just as you're about to blunder directly through a wire strung across the hall. Peering down the hall, the glint of at least a dozen similar wires are revealed at various heights. They're probably not there to dry laundry on.

A faint light filters through a portcullis at the opposite end of the 40' hallway, and the silhouette of a rod or lever juts from the wall just in front of it. The lizard-midget stands behind the portcullis, giggling at you.

FELIPE NO

I followed the rogue and saw him stop, identifying a number of trip-wires along the corridor and a curious lizard hiding behind a portcullis at the end of the corridor.

"Well, isn't this an interesting situation?" I mused, to myself as much as anything, unsure as to whether my undead companion could understand me.

"As I see it we have a few options. We could shoot arrows at the lizard until it dies, then sneak past the trip wires an go open that grate. Or, we could stand well back and throw things at the trip-wires, activating the inevitable traps, then once they've fired off, stroll down the corridor and stab the lizard. The only problem with this is if the floor collapses or the ceiling comes down, we might never get down the corridor at all. That lever's a mite too far away for Force tricks to pull so we need to be a bit closer whatever the plan really although I'm sure we've enough ammo between us to skewer him through the grate eventually. You never know, he might just get pissed off and charge us, thereby demonstrating how the traps work. At any rate, it's probably best to wait for the rest of the chaps to wake up before we go doing anything rash don't you think?".

I wasn't really expecting an intelligible answer but I figured as a morale boosting exercise it was best to make the lads feel involved at least.

Additional Spam:
It was at this point I remembered I'd been injured in the previous encounter. This realisation sent a soothing calm through my body, making me feel much better.

Experience a healing surge hot flush thing to top up the old HP

Most amazing jew boots

"O bollocks to this."

The dwarf trudged into the northern room, yanked the mirror from its moorings and trudged back into the western room.

"Right, tired of playing games." And with that he sent the thing rolling down the aisle, like a good old game of hoop and stick. Though this wasn't a game. As he was tired of them.

Anyway, he was out to trip as many wires as he could, though he made a point of stepping to the side of the hallway as he did so.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Bob's HP 14

Gabriel flings the mirror down the hall. It rips easily through the ragged tripwires, but more significantly it sets off the array of crossbows the tripwires are connected to. A dozen bolts come screaming down the hallway. Fescue flings himself to the floor reflexively as soon as the wires snap, but Bob catches two bolts in his chest.

11 damage, Bob's HP 3.

The little creature (which Bob finally identifies as a Kobold) yips disapprovingly and runs off, disappearing from sight.

M

650 XP for the puzzle and "defusing" the trap; 130 each

There's nowhere I can't reach.

My plan had proved successful although sadly, had been enacted before I was quite ready and I had taken two bolts to the chest. With a scream of agony I wrenched the bolts free, glad of the silk under-shirt I was wearing which had limited the damage from the barbs. I immediately felt dizzy and the world around me grew darker. "Maybe a rest wouldn't kill us" I managed to gasp before I passed out.

Faint dramatically

Most amazing jew boots

I sighed and propped the lousy elf onto the wall of the hallway. I pulled the potion I had given him earlier out and poured it down his throat. He choked on it, but managed to take it all down.

"Make sure he doesn't bleed to death," I said to Gabriel, and walked down the hallway to open the gate, crossbow ready to shoot anything that looked hostile.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Bob's HP 13

Fescue pulls the lever, and the portcullis rises up into a recess in the ceiling. Beyond the doorway lies a cluttered room; statues of pike-wielding kobolds and large crates flank several raised panels on the floor. As Fescue enters the room, he spots the frightened kobold as it darts into a narrow gap under the southernmost statue and disappears below. The space is much too small for anything larger to enter, though, as long as the statue is blocking it.


M

I was speaking idiomatically.

I examined the room due to being very confounded.

What's the light level?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The crates are heavy, but with effort they could probably be pushed around the room. The statues, however, are set into huge pedestals and are likely well beyond anyone's ability to budge.

There's a lever set into the northeast corner.

Bright lighting.

FELIPE NO

Pull lever ready to dodge more arrows.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Fescue pulls the lever.

It goes "thump".

Nothing else happens!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf looked at the elf, and then at the retreating rogue.

"You're kidding, right?"

The dwarf sighed and slumped down against the wall, not applying pressure to the wound, because this asshole pushed him down a hole not an hour ago. Who cares if she IS attractive. Not him. No sir.

"If you die, do it loudly enough to wake me up, dandelion eater."

With that he shut his eyes and took a rest.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

It looked like for all the Rogue's wanton not resting, there would be nothing to show. Motsognir put away his axe, walked closer to the others, and went to sleep, again. He was spent, and didn't really care if Fescue or the woman got themselves killed so long as he got a little rest.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I sighed. I put on the newly acquired gloves and got to business.

Equip gloves for +5 against splintering.
Open and empty crates to make them lighter. Please inform me of contents.
Move crates to plates on floor and pull lever again.
Do I really need to go through the steps?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The crates are full of nothing but rocks.

After some experimentation, Fescue eventually places all the crates in their correct positions and pulls the lever again. The furthest statue slides away from the hole in the floor, revealing a steeply sloping tunnel leading down into darkness.

500 XP. It's a trial-and-error thing that you were going to figure out eventually so why belabor it, I guess. In retrospect Sokoban doesn't even work in a system with diagonal movement.

M

I was speaking idiomatically.

After some long moments of not being able to sleep the dwarf stood up and trundled after the rogue. He couldn't let the little sneak thief have all the fun.

With a sigh he walked into the room, noting the puzzle already being solved.

"Your doing?" He seemed somewhat impressed, glancing back over his shoulder as he commented: "You sure you want to go down there, mate? Seems we ain't leading but two things right now. Jack and Shit. And Jack got shot in the chest with a crossbow bolt like a git."

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

"I was hoping you'd crawl down there, being a ground dweller and all. But I suppose I'll wait for whomever wants to be so haughty and adventurous."

I strolled back to the room with the two statues and sat myself down in the corner.

FELIPE NO

The uneasy companions settle at last into another long night below the earth. Their wounds heal nicely, and thanks to the plentiful crab meat they have no need to dip into their limited trail rations. Gabriel manages at last to shake off the wearying effects of his fever, and returns to his full strength for the first time since he pried the rat's teeth out of his forearm.

While there is no further sign of the curious kobold, he has surely told of what he has seen to his masters below. Thanks to Bob's decision to use the message system as a chamberpot, it's unlikely a friendly reception will be waiting.

There is no way forward but to go ever further into the depths, and greater dangers surely lie ahead. But there is an inescapable sense that these tests of mettle will soon temper this motley crew into something greater.

Renew all HP/surges/powers. Individual XP is 935.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

After a fitfull sleep, I awoke feeling refreshed, the bolts to the chest all but forgotten. While I had slept it seemed as though the rogue had been busy and our way forward seemed obvious. Too obvious some might say...

I wasn't about to head down the tunnel alone so I gave the room a thorough going over for any secret doors or cubby holes while I waited for the horde to rouse themselves. For a bunch of zombies they certainly seemed to sleep soundly.

On a whim, I grabbed a quill and some ink from the wizard's study and very carefully drew glasses on the faces of the sleeping dwarves. They looked almost distinguished afterwards although being dwarves, they still had faces only a mother could love. I had to admit to myself though that the one with the singed beard was quite handsome in a rugged, earthy way.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The sound of his flatulence rouses Argumentus from his slumber amidst the viscera. Reeking of decaying flesh he goes to find the rest of the party.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf, having fallen asleep away from the rest of the group, woke up and rubbed his eyes, looking around with a sigh.

"Right." He looked to find himself in a stone walled room with statues and levers. "Well, this is new and different."

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Soggy awoke to the deep echoing rumble of Argumentus' rugged flatulence. Walking into the room with the statues, he glanced at the other dwarf, laughing internally at the ink glasses. Boy, he thought, someone sure got him good. Glad I have their respect. He chuckled under his breath and tried his best to assess the situation.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Bob carefully searches the crate room for any lurking valuables. Tucked under some rags in the corner, he finds two corked glass vials strapped together with twine. One of them is full of what looks to be ordinary water, and the other contains a quantity of silvery-white metal.

The glass is very thin indeed; it's almost as if these vials were intended to break at the slightest provocation.

How ya doing, buddy?