[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

"Damnation!" muttered Motsognir. He could hear womanly yelps in the distance. That blasted elf must have touched the ooze. He knew his kinsman wouldn't leave a woman in distress, and he couldn't leave his kinsman to finish the ooze alone. Shouting to the human, the dwarf rushed back through the south door.

Wake up Argumentus
Move To South Chamber

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Argumentus comes up swinging, the Dwarf long too gone to receive his wild swings. Hearing arcane languages spoken from an effete voice, Argumentus heads into the room to the south to see what all the hububalabooba is about.

Argumentus startled by suddenly being awoken experiences a healing surge

Argumentus moves into the south room

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf growled low in his throat, able to see the elf's wavering form through the jelly's glutenous form, he again considered leaving the bastard there to rot.

With a sigh, however, he glanced skywards and muttered under his breath: "Kord, let it never be said I don't follow your path diligently." And with that he reached back with his right hand and yelled out at the creature.

"OI! YOU THERE! YOUR MOTHER WAS A JELL-O SHOT!" And with that, he hurled the throwing hammer he'd drawn earlier and stepped back, readying a second throwing hammer and setting his shield on the ground.

"Come get some" he muttered under his breath, setting his jaw.

Divine Challenge
Bolstering Strike with Throwing Hammer
Move one step away from the creature

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The hammer sends a violent ripple through the jelly's undulating form, spattering gobbets of muck about the vicinity.

Critical: 8 damage. Bolstering Strike is melee-only, sorry. Also I'm pretty sure you only have the one throwing hammer.

Compelled by the paladin's challenge, the jelly heaves its massive bulk at Gabriel — but he sidesteps it easily.

New round! Initiative order: Fescue, Bob, Argumentus, Gabriel, Jelly, Motsognir



I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

"Well, brother. I've no idea where I am, and I beg not for your food. I only wish to remove myself from this place, and certainly don't want to bother you with my arse. Perhaps I could pay you to open the door and let me out. I have gold, and if that's not enough, perhaps this statue of silver. Not very sightly, but could be melted down to your liking."

I was speaking idiomatically.

The dwarf had distracted the blob of slime which had moved into the northern room. I moved to the doorway to get a better shot at the creature and saw that it was bearing down on the dwarf, no doubt hoping to envelop him and dissolve him down for lunch. I resolved to save my minion, he would not provide food for this abomination, even if he didn't survive the encounter.

"Fear not", I called to the dwarf, "Dead or alive, you're coming with me".

With that, I hurled a beam of necrotic power at the slime thing.

Moves north to stand in doorway, casts Ray of Enfeeblement on Jelly.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

"Bribery, now?" booms the voice. "I think not. There's naught to buy down here and my greed is a small thing compared to my enthusiasm for staying alive."


The vicious beam boils away at the jelly, and an odorous steam rises into the air. Its heaving pulsations seem, for the time, a bit weaker.

12 damage, jelly is weakened.

FELIPE NO

Fear grips Argumentus as he spots the wiggling slime. Its jiggling translucency brought him back to terrible memories. Of grandma's jello. With the fruit in it.

Acting on pure instinct Argumentus grabs the nearest object and throws it at the slime.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Roaring with primal rage, the hulking fighter lifts a table over his head and sends it flying over the startled Motsognir. Dishes scatter everywhere, and the table flattens the jelly with a squelch before bouncing into the far wall and smashing into splinters.

17 damage



Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf glanced over his shoulder as the table flew past him, drawing his warhammer from his off hand in the same motion. The giant human seemed to have found quite the decent way of damaging the creature. An impressive feat of strength, to be sure.

A large, looping strike at the creature in front of him was quickly followed by a step to the side, keeping his eyes on the shuffling monstrosity.

Draw Warhammer
Bolstering Strike
Shuffle to the right, behind table

How ya doing, buddy?

The crashing strike of the warhammer rips through the center of the creature, splitting it in two.

13 damage

The twin jellies slam mercilessly into the suddenly-outnumbered paladin, bloodying him.

12 damage. Gabriel's HP 15



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Seeing the effect of the paladin's hammer on the jelly, Motsognir decides it best not to create more enemies just yet, and sticks to helping his kinsmen.

Speak Inspiring Words to Gabriel

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Gabriel's HP 22. 7 surges remaining.

New round: Gabriel, Motsognir, Fescue, Bob, Argumentus, Jellies

I was speaking idiomatically.

The dwarf stumbled back, bloodied, but the sound of his kinsman's voice brought a surge of strength back to his limbs. He looked at the twin jellies and smiled. Good. Gooooooood. Let them create an army, let them split in twain until they grow small enough for him to mash beneath his armoured feet. In the face of such overwhelming odds he tossed his head back and laughed. A deep, resounding sound that erupted from his chest.

This dungeon was finally proving itself interesting. Kord would look on him with great favour this day, and he knew that deep within the bowels of this prison, the eyes of his deity were on him. The laugh turned into a roar as he swung his warhammer up in a devastating arc at the oozing horror closest to the slow-witted human and his kinsman. The followers of Kord turned down no battle when their cause was righteous. And the cause was always righteous.

Second Wind (minor thanks to racial talent)
Divine Strength
Fearsome Smite

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The furious dwarf's hammer rips cleanly through a massive chunk of jelly, spraying it upward onto the ceiling where it dangles like a cluster of wobbly stalactites. What's left of the slimy abomination wriggles frantically, seemingly insecure about its chances.

12 damage to North Jelly; bloodied. Gabriel's HP 29, 6 surges left



FELIPE NO

His unsureness regarding exactly what to do vanquished by Gabriel's near-deathblow to the northern jelly, Motsognir charged ahead, striking with his axe.

South one square
Viper's Strike

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Nearly half of the northern jelly is hacked away, and the remaining blob of pitiful plasm is reduced to a feeble quivering.

6 damage

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Making no headway with the man behind the iron curtain that held us in this place, I shrugged his shrewdness off and began to head back to find the other men who were stuck here with me.

I heard them causing a commotion in the distance, but knew what the situation was already. Having already tried to warn them, I was in no hurry to come to their aid.

Move however far I can at a walk towards the lower door in the room.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The jelly beast had been split asunder and now there were two of the vile monstrosities. I aimed my staff at the nearest one and unleashed my frost ray.

Ray of frost at closest slime

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Despite his limited faculties, Argumentus could grasp the relation between cause and effect.

Lifting the nearest table he heaves it wildly at the jellies.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The chilling ray strikes squarely, its icy grip spreading throughout the whole of the jelly. It can barely move at all.

Critical Hit! 9 damage.

The fighter hoists another table and (despite the odds of another such improvisation succeeding again) flings it southward. Against all reasonable expectation the table is once again on-target, splattering the jelly beneath it into a pitiable smear on the flagstones.

9 damage, northern jelly killed

The remaining Jelly thuds sluggishly against Gabriel, dealing him no significant harm.

4 damage, Gabriel's HP 25

New round: Motsognir, Bob, Fescue, Jelly, Gabriel, Argumentus



I was speaking idiomatically.

Motsognir charged forward, hoping his vigor would encourage the woman.

Warlord's Favor, with bonus to Bob

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Motsognir's axe cuts cleanly through the jelly's middle, splitting it in two!





...but then both parts stop moving.

11 damage, jelly killed. Victory Get! 300 XP (60 XP each)

FELIPE NO

The dwarf stomped his foot on the remnants of the ooze, scowling darkly as he glanced around the room to be sure nothing else was alive and pissed off. Seeing nothing, he spat on the jelly and stomped off to sit down at one of the tables.

"Bollocks to this." He grumbled under his breath. His chest heaved as he sucked air and rested his arm on the grip of his warhammer. The filth fever was still burning in his veins, and he needed time to tend to his wounds. He was not, however, about to show weakness infront of the group.

"Oi, Captain Runaway," he began, addressing Fescue, "You took a look around. Anything else down here we need to immediately worry about?"

He thought, but didn't say, beyond the obvious bit where the elven woman would do her very best to get us all killed.

"Because if there isn't, I think the big guy could use a rest. He doesn't look so hot."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

"You can rest if you like. I'd much rather you all sit and keep still than stir up more of the trouble you've been doing the last good while," I said, frustrated.

"But afterwards, there are two iron doors that will apparently lead us out of here. I managed to open one, but the other has a habit of spitting arrows at me, courtesy of the stubborn beard behind it. I will need your help, then."

I need to know the sizes of the crates in the north room, if they are intact enough to provide cover for myself and others, and how well they slide. They must fit through the northern doorway, however.

Jam it back in, in the dark.