But I gots to get PAID, nigga.

So, what's the sleaziest, lowest thing you've ever done to make a buck? I don't care if it's mopping out a clogged toilet while working at Wal Mart or selling drugs to kids to make your cay payments. Show me your seedy underbelly, GFF.

Personally, I think the lowest thing I ever did for money was playing hatchetman during a university election. I had little interest in it, but apparently the girl running against the guy was a bit of a cunt, which makes me feel less horrible about it, but he paid me and a friend of mine to make salient some of her lesser qualities before the election date. Made a nice chunk of change, circulated some pictures and started a few rumours and not long after, her aspirations were buried. Political intrigue is about as horrid as I've ever done for money, albeit an especially unseemly brand of it.

So, what did YOU do that your ashamed of. (Ben will say prostitution. I'm in before that.)

How ya doing, buddy?

Does work for the dole count?

The best one was where a bunch of us shoveled used needles, shit/blood stained undies and other exciting surprises out a giant mountain of dirt and mystery growth that hadn't been touched for about thirty billion years and never saw the light of day. It smelt like an army of toilets, was hard to tell what exactly you were sinking into it and was alive with sand flies! I'm not really sure what their plan was, probably to build some kids play area on it or something. I died several times over all for a whopping two hundred and twenty bucks a week, forty more than I would have gotten for doing absolutely nothing.

BUT IT WAS MY FORTY!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I don't think any of my jobs were THAT bad.

I think the only one that was a real test, but not because of horrid conditions, was one of my first cutting ribbons, one cent per ribbon. You have to remember that this was when I was too young to be able to hold a proper job. Of course, it never occured to me till just now that even if it took four seconds for each cut, that I'd get roughly nine bucks per hour (60 seconds / 4 seconds/cut = 15 cuts. 15 cuts/minute * 60 minutes = 900 cuts. 900 cuts * .01 = 9 bucks per hour). I think the only taxing thing was just the simple fact that I really did earn every penny.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I worked for a promoter here in the Central Valley when I was college. I would design fliers for different raves all over the place and then, for even more money, distribute them at the college and around the movie theaters in town. It's not really that the job didn't pay well or anything but, seriously... What the fuck? RAVES? Why the fuck was I ever a part of that candy-ass, neo-hippie, junkie-laden scene?

I honestly don't remember one good thing I did during that time. I have samples of a ton of fliers that I designed back then but that's seriously about the only reminder I have that I was even alive during those two semesters. Not the music, not the single-song friends, not the fucking bell-ringing highs... Nothing. In retrospect, it was essentially a colossal waste of time.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Some guy in the hospital asked me for a Physical exam, eventhough i clearly told him i was only a nurse/midwife, He insisted that he will pay me 300 pesos (6 dollars in US) Still no shame on that, Fortunately he understood when i told him i won't grope his balls nor i want to see anything from the penis area

I was speaking idiomatically.

selling drugs surely was low, but since i sold only to people in my age or even older i dont feel that bad about it..sure its a crime, and hell its damn stressing

working in a call-center to sell real crap (a sheet from an authority that is for free and a stupid aluminium frame for € 50) or doing stupid surveys (on the phone too) felt really low

and at last..burger king

i really love eating there but i cant work there, i quit after just 2.5 hours

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I used to work for this old lady doing chores around the house and helping run her secretarial business (I mostly did transcribing of long documents since I'm a pretty fast typist). She had turned into a cat lady since her husband had died, and the entire place reeked of cat urine. So much so, that I gagged for the first fifteen minutes every week I was over there.

Then one time, after I hadn't been around for a few weeks, she told me her cat had chased a mouse behind a bookshelf and it had died there. Two weeks before. I had to unload this huge bookshelf, drag it halfway across the room to clean the mouse off of it, and then, when I look where the mouse had died, there was the mouse which had been shredded to bits, along with a slew of ancient cat turds.

FELIPE NO

When I was in high school, I chugged 3 cans of Franco-American beef gravy in under 45 seconds in order to score $25.

I also charged admission.

I walked away with maybe $35-40. And I didn't throw up. It was in the dead of winter, and we opened the cans on the trunk of a tree. I can not tell you how awful that shit tasted. I had to suck it down it was so thick.

Revolting.

I don't know if that's the worst I've done for money. There were a lot of drunken, idiot moments back then. But I doubt I compare to you guys.

How ya doing, buddy?

<------- THIS IS HOW YOU SHOULD BE REACTING TO YOUR OWN STORY.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I worked at Wendy's part time after finishing my Psychology degree. Even though I was going back for my undergrad in music in the fall, the irony of the situation just burned me. To console myself, I made fun of the managements utterly pathetic command of the English language.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

You know that scene from Super Troopers? The one with the syrup chugging contest? Yeah, I've done that. Three times.

Just like Sass, you gotta pay to stay and watch.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It seems like chugging for dollars is a common theme here.

For me, it was a quart of vinegar. That shit does not settle easily, either.

Most amazing jew boots

lol chugging stuff would actually be fun, never got an interesting offer tho

I was speaking idiomatically.

Back in high school, my iron stomach was pretty well-known. I wouldn't eat non-food items because that's just foolish but I'd eat most anything else as long as I was being paid.

The most popular game was to line up little cups of the cafeteria's "hot" sauce. I thought the stuff was quite weak but I soon realized I was in the minority there. So, the rule was, if you produced a cup of hot sauce, you had to put a quarter in front of it. I'd then down it like a shot of whiskey. Easy-peasy for me, and on a good day, I'd come out of the lunchroom with an extra $5.

After a couple weeks, I became increasingly suspicious that the jocks, who never liked me, were contaminating the hot sauce, so I stipulated that if you produced a quarter, I'd walk over to the dispenser and get it myself, downing it on the spot. That went over for another week until I heard a rumor that the jocks in the previous lunch period were messing with the sauce before I got there.

So I had to stop the racket for fear of catching mono or something. But it wasn't too bad.

Eight years later, I got a job selling refurbished appliances. God, I'll never be able to wash that stink off. I quit after only one week.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Picking out rotten seeds from pots in a 40 degree igloo. And these seeds were rotten: putrid, festering, sloppy to the touch.

FELIPE NO

Couple of things I've done / curently do to make al iving. My first dirty job was back in 1999 when I worked for an adult book store ( when I was working on my first degree in school )

I had to clean the bathroom and found a steak wraped up with feces and a condom... Ended up taking a fork taped to a broom to clean it up. I got fired after the owner found out I lubed the glory holes in the viewing booths with Icy Hot.


My last job I worked as a first call agent removing the dead from homes, hostipal morgues and either cremating them or taking them to various funeral homes to be embalmed. Right now I'm back in college in a radio broadcast program and I deliver radioactive meds part time.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

There was the time I discovered the used book store that literally paid like a dime for everything you sell to them. So being the foolish college student I was I found old textbooks in the dorm basement, thrown out CDs from the college radio station, even noticing the pile of really old statistical junk texts that one of my profs dumped from her office.

A little while I felt like it was morally wrong and that I was stealing, but meh, I soon stopped after realizing that the used book store was ripping me off to begin with.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

After a couple weeks, I became increasingly suspicious that the jocks, who never liked me, were contaminating the hot sauce, so I stipulated that if you produced a quarter, I'd walk over to the dispenser and get it myself, downing it on the spot. That went over for another week until I heard a rumor that the jocks in the previous lunch period were messing with the sauce before I got there.

So I had to stop the racket for fear of catching mono or something. But it wasn't too bad.

I require more information. What was the nature of the contamination?

As for me, I guess I lived a pretty sheltered life. The worst I've done was working at a flea market, which had long hours in the sun, no breaks, and since I was working for my folks, no direct pay. But I got to eat dinner so I guess that counted. Anyway that's only hard work, not dirty work like ruining a person's reputation or drinking gravy.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by ShivelyKegler

I lubed the glory holes in the viewing booths with Icy Hot.

HAHAHAHAHA.....That's too funny....

Okay, I worked at McDonald's. That's all I'm going to say....

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I used to work in a call center for Sprint.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I chugged down a load of jalapeño for a beer. Shit set me on fire

I was speaking idiomatically.

I haven't had an extremely dirty job like some of you have. But I used to work at Gamestop, and some people would bring in roach infested gaming consoles. It was so nasty to have to deal with those and if the console worked,we had to take it and clean it up of course. Sometimes people would bring in games to trade that had really nasty stuff in them along with the game. I never understood how people could bring in stuff like that. Of course most of them were probably only concerned about the cash they'd be getting in return for that mess.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Denicalis

...sleaziest, lowest...ashamed...

Originally Posted by Syndrome

I chugged down a load of jalapeño for a beer. Shit set me on fire

Bitch, you crazy. I'd do that even without the beer.

Mmmmmm, spicy.

FELIPE NO

Mucking horse stalls was about the dirtiest job I've had, but it wasn't so bad because the stables kept pretty clean (of course they were, I was always cleaning them).

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

My very first - and equally worst job ever - was working in the concession stand at the Birmingham Zoo. This was all so I could earn the money to put in alongside my mom to buying my very first car before I started my freshman year in college. This would not have been a bad summer job had it not been for one thing....

The main concession stand was in front of the Elephant Cages.

Whoever designed the layout for the zoo was a fucking MORON. Every day you'd leave the zoo smelling like rancid Dumbo shit. The people I worked with were no better - cream of the crop in high school immaturity. At the risk of sounding elitist and nasty they were exactly the type I avoided in high school seeing as I was pretty introverted at the time. There were two old ladies there who were really sweet though and made the job semi-tolerable.

The best story I have from that place though is the one I tell all my friends. A summer kindergarten day care had brought its kids for a trip to the zoo. Fluff stuff. So you have a tiny concession stand crammed to the hilt with about 20 4-5 year olds: when a peacock walks by the concession stand. At this point in time, the peacocks walked around the zoo freely and people often fed them peanuts and shit. Well, this peacock just so happened to see its reflection in the glass of the stand and decided it didn't like what it saw.

What occured next was a horrifying scene of an acerbic peacock screeching at and attacking its glass reflection to the point where its legs became a bloody mess and about 20 kindergartners in a tiny confined area, too afraid to leave with the chaperone, screaming and crying in terror every time the idiot thing attacked itself. When the blood started coming there was no refuge from the screams and panic in that place. ANYWHERE. The killing part about all this? It took the zoo about 15-20 minutes before somebody finally came to round up the durn fool thing.

From that day forward, I detested working at the zoo with every fiber of my being and I *STILL* hate going there.

Jam it back in, in the dark.