Letting go when friendships die forEVAR.

Ok so recently, someone I knew, I realized over time what a right arrogant asshole they are, and in a recent dramafilled convo he is now severing all ties with me and even did the childish MSN block because he ended up pissing off his emo crush and blames it on me. Because I'm friends with the guy and am not an asshole like him. He also blames me for "embarassing him" on a forum and various other baseless paranoia...I could go on but I'd rather not.

I'm also hosting his site which he never updates. I have been tempted to cut him off my hosting but that's immature. He says he wants me off his dead and crap site (ohnoes whatever will I do) and he wants off the hosting but I'm waiting for him to pull his pages off it because I'm not the type to pull hosting because that's lame, and he'll most likely spread some lame rumour about how I pulled his hosting because he's that sort of person.

So now me and him are seemingly done for real, I wanted to save our last chatlog for posteirity so I could lol @ it later, but due to my own stupidity I accidently ended up losing it forevar by closing the window.

First Q: Accidently losing the chatlog is for the better, right? Good re-beginnings and such.

Second Q: how does someone phase someone else out of their life despite still harbouring a lot of hatred for this guy for all the shit he's done and won't admit to? I want him to get his comeuppance so badly, and he will, but....should I let time do that?

Third Q: The comeuppance. I feel bad about it. He is an asshole, but like with my asshole father, one of these days it's gonna come back and bite him on the ass and hard, and I feel bad that I'm gonna be gone, but it's his own fault, right? He said himself he "doesn't want my help" but I know how people change and such. I'm just not very good at this "people getting what they deserve" thing. I'm the one who still feels sorry for the bad guy when he pleads for mercy before the good guy kills him. Is it better I let go of feeling guilty too? Since that will only keep me here and stop me from "progressing"




but yeah. Obsessing over hating him is keeping me "stuck" and makes me as bad as him, right? Drop it and move on?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

1 word.
Karma.
It always prevails.
So yeah, drop it and move on.
Don't forget karma works both ways.
So if you still decide to fuck with him.
Prepare to get fucked yourself!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Dude, you have to throw garbage away, no matter how much you used to love it. Going through the same thing and it was a load off my shoulders when I finally did. Just be patient now. You can savor the moment once he gets his "come-uppances"

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

If he wants you to remove his website, you should oblige. The less you have to deal with a peson you don't like, the better.



I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

1) Yes. Personally I would hate to keep reminders of such a person on my computer and would find it easier to get them out of my life without it.

2) Let time do that. It's such an arse having to deal with being so angry about it, but time heals all wounds and soon enough you won't even hate him anymore.

3) Definately let go of feeling guilty. He's the one being a tit in this situation and he sounds like a dick (no offence) from what you've said about the kind of person he is. When he gets his comeuppance, he will deserve it, and you shouldn't have to be there for someone like that.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Actually, I went through a similar situation with my best friend from high school. Dealt with losing a friendship with some other drama at the same time. My life turned upside down and when I got back up on my feet, I literally felt like I was living someone else's life. I had like a couple of the same friends, a whole bunch of new ones, a great boyfriend. It's like, I ridded something in my life that held me back but it was probably just a coincidence haha.

Anyways...
First Q: Yeah because when I look back, I just get angry. I regret apologizing to her and trying to fix things. It makes me angry when I think back now. I put up with her shit for too long and I finally snapped back at her. But it's easier to move on and if you keep that and read it to lol @, you may not laugh. So, just a good way to let go.

Second Q: Yeah. I mean there is nothing I can do about the shit I was put through because I feel like the only one she treated like shit and I do not know why at all. I finally snapped back at her, but that is not the right way to handle things. Luckily, I'm not a bitch to my friends... that was just a one time thing haha. But just let time take care of it. He does not need necessarily a good kick in the ass, maybe your life with go incrediably uphill since your friendship broke off, like mine has, and you realize how much better off you are without him. I was angry for quite sometime but there was nothing I had the guts to do. I am still angry actually. Mostly at myself for apologizing because I did not owe her one damn apology. Anyhoo

Third Q: Yes. Don't feel guilty. I've heard of other friendships that broke off for a good year and then they became friends again... I would not even consider that in my situation. His fault, his problem. Who cares. He wants you out of his life, so be it. Who cares.

Anyways, good luck. Someone helped me by telling me how I would gain and lose friends throughout my life and that helped. I lost one friend but gained so many at the same time, it's worth the loss. Being abused by a friend... well yeah even if I had gained nothing, I would be happier haha.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

To answer all your questions, just let him go. He's not worth it, and I've been through that stage as well. You're obsessing because you wish things could be better or what they used to, but they aren't, so forget him - he's just excess baggage on your mind. Thinking about old friends who become utter assholes won't do you any good, and the best thing you can do is make new (and exponentially better) friends in the near future. It's not like he's your only chance at a friend.

As for the website, pull him and ignore him. He's obviously taken the same approach towards you. Why should you host him if he's treating you like dirt? I may sound really harsh, but I think that would be the best route to go with other than cling onto a thread.

FELIPE NO

Actually, how sure are you to believe that things will be OK again? That's the real problem. Things will only get better if your friend shows off some signs that indicates a change. If not...that's for you to decide.

First Q: Your heart knows better. Erase them if reading them makes you feel guilty, sad, depressed, or other negative feelings. Keeping sorrowful memories does not worth it.

Second Q: Yes. Just let the time heals your wounds. Just never look back and don't ever regret whatever things you are NOT guilty for, and everything will be OK. Don't even once consider yourself guilty; he's the asshole, not you.

Third Q: Once again, it's back to your heart. Do you really believe that whatever you desire will turn out the way you want you want it to be? But once again, it's all up to you.Judging from your story, I don't really believe that's the case. It's better to ignore these kind of people, they deserve it. This may sound harsh, but sometimes, actions must be done.

Basically, you maybe should just end this strange relationship. He's gone away...why would you risk your feelings for what he's done to you? There are plenty of new people to make friends or one you've already known. Letting go of one won't do you any harm. Just find a new one.

But it's in your hands. If you really believe he'll come back, then just hope.

Most amazing jew boots

K, thanks for advice all. ^_^ I would answer to each post but that would take too long. >_>

Yah, it's gonna take time because I suck at things like this a little, but I have decided I am to cut him out of my life FOREVAR. He is too proud of himself to come back and try and start things again, and blindly believes that it is my fault all this shit happened to him.

But yeah, I've removed the hosting, changed the pass, set up a little notice saying "hosting is gone blablablablabl asdasd *explanation*" and also sent him a "last email". Doubt he'll read it but w/e.

I don't rly want to hear from him again to be quite honest, seeing how I just got a job today, new beginnings etc. etc.

This is gonna be a little hard, and I'm a lil sorta nervous about it, as I've never done this sort of shit before, but when I've fully forgotten about him, I will be (as some of you have had happen already) I'll be all the more thankful for it in the long run.

So PROPS FOR ALL

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Your issue sounds like mine- she even had me convinced that it was all my fault and I was apologizing. That makes me angry. She was a bitch to me, I gave her a taste of it and she got pissed. But really, your situation seems so identical to mine.

Good luck, give it time, new job = new friends!!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Yah, back when I was a moron, I actually thought what he said was right but after a certain incident I started to learn to dislike him and disregard what he said and that really, he was an idiot with an overinflated ego.

What's even funnier is that this guy is going to render himself socially inept because he once told me he's "immersing himself in the furry world". Hahaha. You know what furry immersal does to people. (My "clique" and the furry world intersect somewhat,btw)

He seems to have left a trail of people behind him pissed off with him before me, (he whined about how he was ostricized at those furmeet things), yet he's blaming them, and I am hoping he'll look back oneday and realize exactly what he did here. He is burning bridges at this rate and oneday will pay the price for it~

But yeah, forget bout the past, look forward to new future and all that.

Speaking of which, ironic rly, I've already started to make friends as soon as I dropped him.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I learned something very important a while ago: People suck, nobody is perfect. Some people are worse than others.

It's good that you value friendships, but if it's a destructive relationship then the end was inevitable. Lose the loser, they deserve what's coming to them.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Xexxhoshi

Speaking of which, ironic rly, I've already started to make friends as soon as I dropped him.

lmao the same thing happened to me!! Friends + relationship with a great guy!!

I was speaking idiomatically.

Q#1: Yes. It's time to heal and move on. Things like that will do neither.

Q#2: Remember that doing anything to him will make you as bad (or worse) than him. If he is continually doing this (as you have already mentioned), it will catch up to him on day. Furthermore, thinking about it does not allow you a chance to heal or move on. Take it from someone who knows, holding onto that type of stuff will only eat away at you, and begin to eat away in noticable other ways (i.e. social skills).

Q#3: Feeling guility is even further proof that it would be a bad idea to do anything to 'even the score' because you'll feel guilty about that. At any rate, he is (or will be?) an Adult and hence should have to deal with his own consequences. Ask yourself, did you do anything wrong? No (from what you have said). Have you tried to help him? Yes (from what you have said). You did everything that is reasonable in your power, so there is no reason to feel quility. Again, he is an adult, and hence must face the consequences.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?