eHarmony.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

So not everyone is expected to live in a civilized society?

I'd imagine most of the people on eHarmony are able to hold down a steady job and manage to go out into civilization to buy themselves food and clothing; how does them not being able to smooth talk some lady from a blank start suddenly make them unfit to be in a relationship?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

I'd imagine most of the people on eHarmony are able to hold down a steady job and manage to go out into civilization to buy themselves food and clothing; how does them not being able to smooth talk some lady from a blank start suddenly make them unfit to be in a relationship?

This entire post is based on the premise that everyone on eHarmony is socially apt.

Which defeats the entire purpose of eHarmony. If they were all socially excellent, they wouldn't need an internet dating service, would they?

AGAIN, I am not saying ALL. I am sure a GOOD PORTION (although not the majority) of these people really have had shit luck finding someone and have exhausted their options.

But I think a vast, vast, VAST amount of them are VG-esque in lesser proportions. Its the fucking internet, dude.

Most amazing jew boots

So if they are VG-esque then when they meet the other person the other party will be completely creeped out and he'll get dumped after the first date (or as soon as she goes to his house and sees his desktop).

The people that are completely socially adept will still get their asses dumped, though there's always a chance that maybe they'll hook up with some other socially moronic individual that otherwise might not get out and meet people.

Think of it this way, it'll keep the morons out of all the places you like to go to try and meet people. Fewer crap first dates for you.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

Don't worry about cooking! Life can be easier with this wonderful invention called the drive thru. ITS NOT EVEN SPELLED RIGHT, but you get our drift, don't you? Thats all that really matters, isn't it?

That is the dumbest ass analogy in the first place, and makes no sense if you're relating it to eHarmony vs. random encounters. As I've said before, like THREE times now, eHarmony DOES NOT replace the part where you get to know someone! I mean do you even know what the fuck eHarmony is? Do you think it's some website that you and your match's minds JACK into and then date and get married THROUGH the website??? Sass you can't win an argument by dreaming up your own visions of what the website service provides. You have no logical basis for any of your arguments other than "these people are socially inept because I say so! go eat fast food dood!"

eHarmony is a filtering system, that is all. It filters out people you already know you won't like AS YOU YOURSELF define in the questionare.

You think this service somehow denies experience. IT DOESN'T. You have to meet, communicate and learn about this person on your own. And if it doesn't work out, you get REJECTED and learn that wonderful part of experience as well! I mean where the fuck do you get off saying it takes away experience? It takes away the experience of talking to random people, NOT the experience of dating someone. And if you believe the only healthy way to meet a prospective significant other is by talking to random people, you have your head up your ass.

*edit*

Quote:

If they were all socially excellent, they wouldn't need an internet dating service, would they?

Actually, THIS is the entire flaw in your argument. Being able to TALK to a random person doesn't mean you're going to like them, and it doesn't mean you'll be able find someone you'll want to date. How the hell can you make an assumption like this? You think the gods of love will magically guide you to that right person as long as you talk to every stranger you meet on the street?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

^ Yeah, I agree. Give some proof to back your claims.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I had a random wacky thought earlier, and from this day forward, I don't think I'll ever be able to separate the image of Sass in my mind from a Blunderbore.



"What do you MEAN you want to use a dating service? Don't you have any RESPECT for yourself! Et CETERA!"

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I would like to take a moment to point out that not all online relationships involve socially inept twits and desperate people who hook up simply because no other options exist.

I am a case in point. I never used a dating service, but the larger point stands.

I can see where Eharmony might cater to the socially awkward, but that doesn't constitute any error on either side. Introverts need love too and if there's a service that eases the intimidation factor of setting up dates, why shouldn't people use it?

Just because you think you're better than to need any dating service, Sass, doesn't mean all people think like you.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Devo

Are you saying we're unable to communiate ideas or feelings just because of the medium?

Sure, you can express feelings in text. You can also convincibly express untrue feelings (like saying you're not upset when you really are) a lot easier in text.

You can't see a person's body language, their eyes or hear the tone in their voice in an email. All of these things can give you clues as to how they really feel or what they're really thinking.

There's also more reaction time online. People who are normally slow-witted and shy can often be very out-going and witty online.

That's not to say online dating (services) are a bane to humanity; I'm merely saying it needs to be held under a different light than traditional dating.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Of course. I've only been trying to offer my opinion and advice on this sort of thing.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quote:

Posted by Crash Landon
I would like to take a moment to point out that not all online relationships involve socially inept twits and desperate people who hook up simply because no other options exist.

I am a case in point. I never used a dating service, but the larger point stands.

That's not a good point to try and make, considering what a lot of people think of your girlfriend, Crash. <_<

I think it's just as assumptive NOT to think that eHarmony is chiefly populated by the socially apt. In an ideal world, online dating services provide additional resources to otherwise socially adept people who have few opportunities to meet people, for reasons likely outside their control. But in addition to these people, you have the wallflowers who fail at real-life social interaction, and turn to the internet as a means of last resort - i.e. the Sir VG category.

The crowd on eHarmony is going to have considerably more human failures trolling around than you'd meet in real life. As many losers as you're going to get paired up with and have to reject, it may very well be less efficient (heh) than simply driving out of your way to a club in a neighboring city.

And none of this factors in the fact that online conversation is inferior to face-to-face communication. So much is lost in mere text conversation that tells you a lot about a person, good or bad. The possibility for success is still there, of course, but it's so greatly diminished from real life interactions that it seems like an awful lot to be pinning $50 a month on.

Incidentally, heard an interesting bit of news today, too. Though they're not part of this lawsuit, just remember that it is not actually in eHarmony's interests for you to actually find love.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Monkey King

And none of this factors in the fact that online conversation is inferior to face-to-face communication. So much is lost in mere text conversation that tells you a lot about a person, good or bad. The possibility for success is still there, of course, but it's so greatly diminished from real life interactions that it seems like an awful lot to be pinning $50 a month on.

This would be true except for the fact that some people actually have a much easier time expressing the ideas in their head through written communication rather than verbal. While you do lose other subtle communication, like body language, you gain a person being able to take the time and more precisely communicate whatever they want. It’s different, but I wouldn’t consider it less.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Actually, on the point of only the inept using online dating services. I know my stripper friend who goes out to bars/parties/social situations every night she can (and plenty she can't) and still tries to meet people through MySpace and a few other online dating sites. Last guy I remember her saying she went out with she met on MySpace and she said he was a bit better than most of the other people she's dated recently.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by SMX

This would be true except for the fact that some people actually have a much easier time expressing the ideas in their head through written communication rather than verbal. While you do lose other subtle communication, like body language, you gain a person being able to take the time and more precisely communicate whatever they want.

And that's fine if you plan on living your life through a computer, but sooner or later if a relationship is going to progress, you're going to have to meet this person in real life that you've won over with your dazzling internet wit, charm and confidence. And then what?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Not to interrupt a perfectly good heated debate, or anything, but I just want to point out that this month's Atlantic Monthly has a rather in-depth article about eHarmony, chemistry.com and other such services, with interviews with the creators of these sites, and the rationales behind the matching algorithms they use. It's an interesting read.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Devo

Well Ed and I actually found each other on GFF, and I can say neither of us are socially inept,

It's a biiit different, because I doubt you game to GFF with the intention of finding true love for ever~~

FELIPE NO

Man, I love how all you people are defending this shit so voraciously because some of you met your significant other on the internet.

Remember: So did I. But I wasn't using a dating service on the internet to do it. There lies my point. I am sure Devo and Ed are very happy! I am sure Crash and Jup are very happy! (Well, as happy as they could be.) You happened into each other. You're all pretty socially adjusted, from what I can tell.

Crash, I think it's hilarious that you say "not everyone is like you, Sass." A lot of people are, actually. You know, people who don't live their lives on the internet or anything? People who prefer to do things the old fashioned way? I can tell you that almost every person I know - with maybe one or two exceptions - feel the same way I do.

As we all know, I am a strong believer in natural functions. And if a person is socially inept - if a person can't help themselves, then yea. They shouldn't naturally be able to keep a mate.

You know that old saying. You can't love someone else until you love yourself. If you ask me, the socially inept need to learn how to do math before they go relying on a calculator for all their mathematical needs.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Man, I love how all you people are defending this shit so voraciously because some of you met your significant other on the internet.

I don't think theres any shame in finding somone on the internet. I think the shame comes in when you pay someone to get access to their list.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Gee Devo. You're bad at using your brain, aren't you.

How many times I am going to have to REPEAT for you.

Read LeHah's post. Maybe that will make it a little clearer on where I stand for you.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Devo

I WOULD PAY MONEY TO ACCESS A LIST OF SIMILARITIES IF IT MEANT I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO OUT AND MEET GHETTO WANNABE MORONS WITHIN MY AREA.

Obviously you're the idiot.

I'm the idiot? Because I *won't* pay to access a list of people with similar interests?

You're really a little unclear. Maybe if you calmed down a little, we could discuss this!

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

What's wrong with paying for a service? What kind of a pinko are you?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Minion

What's wrong with paying for a service? What kind of a pinko are you?

I only pay for services when I can't do them by myself.

Apparently, this is not a very common trait in Americans.

I was speaking idiomatically.

You can create a list of compatible people in your area yourself? How many people do you know?

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Minion

You can create a list of compatible people in your area yourself? How many people do you know?

Why would I want a list? One is all it takes.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Devo

No you're assuming that people who don't want to peruse in their area must be losers, or socially inept or VG. What you fail to realize is not everyone lives in an area where the people have similar tastes and ideals.

You fail to acknowledge that some people might use sites because the singles in their area are of no interest to them.

I'm using me as an example because I am definitely not attracted to the ghetto livestyle or fashion. If I was single and wanted to date in "real life" it'd be almost impossible because people in my area are hiphop wankstas, illiterate, morons, or their likes are my dislikes.

What a site like eHarmony would do is highlight the people in my area who I haven't met that aren't all the above characteristics I loathe. You fail to see that people can also search within their own region or out of it. You're also ignoring the fact that a match doesn't mean shit. It just means "this person might be compatible with you." There would still have to be dates or meetings of some kind.

But you're so busy being a cynical sourpuss about the whole ordeal you don't even think maybe it serves a greater purpose for folks who otherwise can't find romance in their "daily life" in the physical world. Way to be an arrogant ass.

That was very mature, Devo! I am certainly impressed! I am glad we can have an adult conversation!

So you applaud laziness, then? You think its encouraging to urge people to take the easy way out of things in life? Because you have to admit, eHarmony is a pretty easy way out of having to actually LOOK for a person you like.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

You could call it "efficient."

Jam it back in, in the dark.