Wildlife torture

Hey Gameguardian. I have two dogs named Duke and Duchess



Aren't they cute?

When I get home in the evenings, I like to mess with them by playing fetch! But I don't use sissy ol' tennis balls. OH NOOOOOOOOOOO. That's for pussies. See - I like lobbing big old solid-as-a-rock pool balls at them! There's at least 2 in the backyard for whatever strange reason. It's really fun to watch them yelp in terror as a several hard-as-a-rock stones crack over thier little alien doggy heads like tiny boulders making love.

You see Game Guardian....

IT GIVES ME A THRILL....

IT GIVES ME A REASON TO LIVE....

**licks lips, rolls eyes around like a demon and cackles madly**

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

You know, I used to be a vicious, little boy. I threw a cat out of a tree. I forced the neighbor's dog to give me horseback rides. I'd find colonies of ants on the sidewalk and press my shoe into the mass just to watch them scatter in terror.

That was years ago, and much of it I now regret. These days, I'm probably one of the kindest people toward animals that you may meet. I've been known to gently usher bugs onto a piece of paper or into a cup, then release them outside just because I see no overt reason to kill them. If it's an insect that will bite or sting me when cornered, then I'll consider killing it just to defend my home. This is fair, as many species will do the same in the wild. But even spiders and bees are given a fair escape if I can arrange it.

Several years ago, while visiting my girlfriend at her college apartment, there was a soaking thunderstorm. Afterward, the sidewalks outside her complex were littered with snails enjoying the puddles, as snails are wont to do. My girlfriend told me that a lot of the people in her building liked to stomp on the snails just because they can. I was horrified. The snails had no reasonable defense against the might of a human. So later that afternoon, as the heat began to dry the puddles, I went outside and moved a lot of the snails into the grass where they'd be safer. My girlfriend said it was nice but kind of silly too; they'd only come back after the next rain. Regardless, I did feel better knowing the snails were safe for another day. What can I say? I like snails.

One of the worst abuse stories I've ever heard came from a friend of mine in elementary school. He found a stray cat in his neighborhood and coaxed it to his home with some food. He then seized the cat and crazy glued its ass shut.
He said he let it go and didn't give it too much thought until, a week later, he found the cat lying in the road, bloated and on its side, presumably dead. He claims to have fetched a knife and cut it open. Upon doing so, piles of shit poured out of its abdomen. Unable to defecate, the cat's organs likely burst. This was, of course, fatal, but also excruciatingly painful leading up to and after the hemorrhage, no doubt.

My friend didn't seem too remorseful over what he'd done. Shortly after this, he and his family moved to Texas. I didn't miss him much.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

That's a sick, sick story. It saddens me that there are people like that, especially the remorseless part.

How ya doing, buddy?

That's utterly disgusting is what it is. There was a story here on the news a while back of this lady who kept something like 28 cats locked up in a pen in her backyard. She claimed she was saving strays off the streets, but the conditions that the cats lived in were horrible. It was littered with cat bodies and the other cats (some with multiple diseases and infections) were walking among them living in their own feces while this lady would blissfully dump bags upon bags of kitty chow to them everyday as if nothing was wrong and that was perfectly fine.

I remember watching the news that day and this lady was bawling and in tears because she didn't understand why animal control was being mean to her and taking her babies away.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

That's really messed up Crash - the cat thing.

I remember being shown a site where some Japanese guy killed a cat and showed photos...I was depressed for a couple of days.



As for what I've done, not much really aside from random bug violence. I've vacuumed bugs, aside from just squishing them. I caught a firefly when I was younger, but I didn't put holes in it just to see what would happen.

I've clogged and stomped many ant hills when I was younger as well.

I think the worst thing I did was put a bee in a jar and left it outside in a sunny area. It was a hundred degrees Fahrenheit outside, so you can assume what happened.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Ryuu

I think the worst thing I did was put a bee in a jar and left it outside in a sunny area. It was a hundred degrees Fahrenheit outside, so you can assume what happened.

He said let's run and we'll have some fun now before I melt away?

I find it not to be heartless to kill bugs that sting. Because the pain they inflict on me is just as heartless. ;_;

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

All right, I decided that I don't want to jump in the fight. Either whatshisface gets it or he doesn't; no yelling from me will do any good.

So, I wanted to mention a funny story.

My friend had this gross cat. Tumors and random grossness going on... They kinda wanted it to die. So one day, it finally does. His dad takes it into the back yard, digs a hole, starts shoveling on the dirt... And it meows. He gets it out and it lives for a couple of weeks longer. He totally almost buried that cat alive. Apparently he screamed when it meowed.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Whenever I found a few ants in my house, I'd get the liquid soap (The really thick gel kind) and cover them with a drop or two and watch them suffocate.

I'm kinda mean to my mom's cats too. I don't hurt them, but sometimes I'll walk up to them and act like I'm gonna pet them, and then wave my hands around and make loud noises. Scares the hell out of them.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Let's see, some of my more memorable ones:
1. Shooting a laser poiter at fish underwater. This doesn't tend to work very well, but as long as you remember to look away can lead to some fun times.

2. Pouring baking soda near an anthill, waiting a couple of hours for them to bring some of it inside and then pour vinegar over the whole thing. That was hilarious.

3. Catching a spider with a piece of scotch tape, and then putting another piece over it to entomb it alive.

4. The classic "throw rocks at those fucking Canadian geese for pooping on my lawn." And sometime they hit and good times are had by all non-geese present.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I once jammed a basketball pump into a cricket and started pumping.
Watching it twitch made me uneasy, though, so I stepped on it instead.

When I was a bit older (around 13, I think), I was enjoying using the ancient can of WD-40 in our garage as an accelerant. It started small, just putting the match on the ground and spraying it, but then I noticed a moth flying around the garage, so I held a match up, sprayed next to it, and knocked the thing out of the air in no time flat.

I, like Crash, consider myself somewhat of an insect pacifist these days. I'll even go so far as to escort some bugs outside if they get trapped inside my house or my workplace. I just count myself lucky that I never decided to switch to anything I might seriously regret.

What does the laser pointer do to the fish?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I kill spiders and occasionally flies in the house, but I'm too repulsed by bugs in general to get creative. Ran over a bee with a lawnmower once, though.

My 83 year-old great uncle keeps a BB gun in his dining room. Sometimes he shoots pigeons out the window with it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I collected lizards and nailed them to a board through their heads when I was about 11 or 12.

My cousin and I chopped a black snake to pieces (which was extremely difficult) when we were 7.

I caught a bull snake once and swung it around by its tail and bashed its head into a stop sign repeatedly before throwing it into the bushes.

And I once crucified a tree frog by myself in the woods when I was about 5 or 6. He had to die for the sins of his people.

Yes, I'm terrible. I know.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Moon

4. The classic "throw rocks at those fucking Canadian geese for pooping on my lawn." And sometime they hit and good times are had by all non-geese present.

Ha ha! My brother and I did something like that.

We where sitting on a warf throwing rocks aimlessly at the water until a lone sea gull happened to swim by and a rock smacked it in the back. The gull acted funny until it began to float in a unnatural way. We where like 'Oh shit!' so we quickly rowed out in our punt to get the gull and buried it before anyone saw what we did. We where about 8 and felt a little bad at first, but laughed it off the next day.

EDIT:
We also use to catch sea gulls with a fishing rod. When you clean fish, the guts would be thrown in the water and the gulls go nuts for the liver. My brother and I would keep the liver and attach a big blob of it on the fish hook to that it would float. We cast the line out as far as we could and then hide in the shed. A gull would always take the bait and we would then reel it in. Our dad always took the hook out. We would hold the gull by the wings so that it would not hurt us and carried it to a hill to let it go. We would do this at least once a week.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Candle Tree

2. Pouring baking soda near an anthill, waiting a couple of hours for them to bring some of it inside and then pour vinegar over the whole thing. That was hilarious.

This does sound hilarious, and I intend to remember this for future use.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I'd agree with that.

I just remembered, I was always told about the whole seagull/alka seltzer thing. When on a choir trip in Virginia Beach I had an alka seltzer tablet. Didn't have the patient to try to lure a gull to come to the balcony to eat it, so I threw it at one in midflight...and actually hit the thing. Of course it didn't really do anything other than make it squawk indignantly. I wouldn't have ever thought I'd hit it, and I'm pretty sure I'd never be able to replicate the feat.

Most amazing jew boots

I've heard it works on rabbits, too, but that's sadder. I was told by a friend with a rabbit that they have no way to discharge gas.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I never harm animals. I just befriend the ones that will do harm to those that will do it for me(Like allowing spiders to sit on my arm while flys just stare.)

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by MetheGelfling

I collected lizards and nailed them to a board through their heads when I was about 11 or 12.

For some reason, I thought that said "pigeons" and was absolutely 100% horrified. Then I figured out it said lizards (after a lot of careful thought and scrutiny), and I wasn't as repulsed. I've microwaved one, after all.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I was taught to be kind to all animals from a very young age, and I plan to do the same with my kids, if I have any.

I have no qualms about killing most insects (the cats are a completely different story), but I dont go out of my way to torture them.


How the hell do you people catch bees without getting stung all the damn time?

I was speaking idiomatically.

We used to use fishing nets to catch bees; I'd imagine jars work just as well though.

Usually it's just a case of me trying to kill an especially annoying mayfly but not quite succeeding, just injuring it, so it limps around for a bit and tries to fly but can't get very far. I hate insects and I'm sorry if that's a crime =/

The most evil thing I did was god knows how long ago, I must have been about eight. My best friend found my mum's lighter (my parents were still smoking back then) and we took it out into the garden and tried to set fire to a slug. It didn't so much burn as... melt.

As kids my brothers used to have this obsession with trying to bomb live jellyfish with gigantic rocks; something I was never tempted to do unless they were washed up. Sends bits of jelly flying for metres if you hit it hard enough.

Oh and one other thing but this wasn't me, it was a friend of mine. We found this crab washed up on the beach, upturned and not moving, so just out of sheer curiosity my friend pulled its shell off and it's heart was still beating For some reason, I've never tried crabmeat.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

one time, I remember, I was unintentionally cruel to an animal, and yes, this has an explanation.

my then girlfriend (who eventually became my lovely wife) were taking a walk around a duck pond, I started skipping rocks across the water, making sure I checked for an open area, so I wouldn't hit any ducks. I picked up on and got good strength and accuracy on it , into a nice wide open stretch of water, it got really good distance and speed in on it. to my surprise though, up comes a duck from under the water, and CRACK! right in the side of the head.

anyone remember those old shoot the duck carnival games, when you hit one and it slowly goes down? this poor duck did the same thing, my GF was horrified, and all I could do was laugh, just because of the way the duck went down

FELIPE NO

One time, I saw a spider crawling in my bathtub. I doused it with mineral oil and set it on fire.

I also had ants in the aforementioned bathtub. So I boiled a big pot of water, went out the ant hole, and steamed the fuckers alive. They never came back.

Btw, there was no malice in my intentions. It was more of a macabre curiousity getting the better of me.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?