Nice people.

Do nice people really 'finish last'?!

Sometimes I feel like I do. With friends & BFs.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I hope this thread stays open a bit longer than that last one.

Personally I think that many are more suspicious of ''nice people'' and possibly see it as insecure. For example the people who are too nice can easily appear desperate to be liked. Most people are generally put off by this.

The ideal is really to be a moderately nice person but not in a transparent desperate kind of way: don't be afraid to speak your mind about things and be honest.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Miki4

Do nice people really 'finish last'?!

No.

Everybody finishes last or loses once in a while, whether you're too nice for your own good or a total asshole. The idea is to not slip into either extreme - be considerate of other people, sure, but don't let others use you or take advantage of you, either.

Of course, that's all a lot harder than it sounds, but I like to think that things'll work out all right if you learn from your mistakes.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

There is a world of difference between being a nice guy that people respect, and a spineless doormat that no one gives the time of day.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by acid

There is a world of difference between being a nice guy that people respect, and a spineless doormat that no one gives the time of day.

Exactly. I couldn't agree with you more! I think the phrase "nice guys (people) finish last" is mostly talking about the doormats. I've known some people who are absoulte doormats... and they will be pushed around and taken advantage of all their lives. But I know some very nice people who know when its necessary to stand their ground, and they will go far.

I was speaking idiomatically.

To quote Jean Grey, "Girls flirt with the bad guy, they take the nice one home."

It's been my experience that the females who have had dealings with the bad mofo before are more open to relationships with a "nice guy." Once they realize that bad is, well, bad, they come to their senses. I can only assume the same is true vice versa, if for different reasons. I could have had this really amazing girl on my arm, but she was just so innocent that I'd have felt bad for just slipping some tounge in a kiss.

Shit, maybe I am spineless.

And for the record, I don't think that phrase is saying "spinless twits." I'm fairly certain it's just talking about the guys who, after they make a stand, still get the speech about friendship.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I wish nice guys don't finish last, but often it seems that way.

It just feels that being nice doesn't get your friends, usually. It's being an absolute asshole that gets people to go and hang out with you, though I doubt that's considered friends.

Thankfully, I have a few nice friends.

I wish Jean Grey's quote is really true, and the attractive ones have enough sense and brain in them to see that.

FELIPE NO

No, nice guys don't finish last ... unless they fail to gain respect. It's a delicate thing where people can be stupid and follow the asshole just because he/she seems stronger. Nice guys (or girls) that are strong (socially more than physically) are the human ideal.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Nice guys do finish last, cause they let everyone pass by.

Deleb

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Fresh Frank

And for the record, I don't think that phrase is saying "spinless twits." I'm fairly certain it's just talking about the guys who, after they make a stand, still get the speech about friendship.

Yep... I am definitely that kind of guy. I have many many a stands, and still get the friendship thing....

Maybe its just bad timing on my part, because many of the girls I know find me very attractive and a nice person... me confused...

Most amazing jew boots

It appears to be true that nice people end up last due to lack of possible action. Per say, perhaps there may be a negative stigmatism of associating nice guys to be relatively boring and inactive in comparison to a daring, reckless individual. Perhaps there is the ideal of youth, "Live life to the fullest," that would probably lead them to participate in a more exciting partner.

Hahaha unfortunately I am relatively an idle person who is not so active or daring persay. But maybe there is a factor I am missing since this is not always the case. There is always a fascination with the unknown and good guys are usually the most "predictable" (though that could be said with the daring ones).

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

This is one of those questions I didn't really think/care about until I read this thread.

Now I expect a definitive answer by the end of the week.

Good luck.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Anyone who constantly loses potential girlfriends to "Just being friends" is not a nice guy, they're a fucking pussy who's too chicken shit and scared of rejection to ever tell a girl how they feel about them and therefore will never get anywhere beyond friendship.

There's nothing wrong with being nice, it's being spineless that makes you a loser.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I don't think nice people neccesarily finish last, at least not always. Nice people tend to be able garner trust and friendship much faster than not-so-nice people. If someone nice you knew asked for some help, you'd obviously would help, wouldn't you? (Ok, so even if you don't many others sure would).

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Actually, in the real world, I've been treated with subliminal contempt even if I was being nice (I think they hate me because I'm introverted). I'm not one that can be an asshole to people though. It just doesn't feel like me at all nor do I want to be one.

FELIPE NO

Nice people finish best, and that's all that matters. Don't worry about trivial things like who finishes first and you'll be alright.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I like to think of myself as a nice person. I help out others when they ask it (Unless they act like an ass) and I tend to help people out for no reason in particular. People always ask me to help with technical stuff in dorms and classes, but sometimes I get people that say "Yo, Dekoa, fix my computer now! This piece of shit isn't working right." When that happens I usually respond to them and tell them "I'm on break". People who know me will know that I either don't wanna help them out right then or that they've asked the wrong way. Being nice is a good factor but it's being nice with the ability to stand up that is respected.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Shin

Anyone who constantly loses potential girlfriends to "Just being friends" is not a nice guy, they're a fucking pussy who's too chicken shit and scared of rejection to ever tell a girl how they feel about them and therefore will never get anywhere beyond friendship.

Well, I don't know about others, but that is definitely not the case for me only having the friendship level with girls. I am maybe too outgoing and am too honest about how I feel?

There's nowhere I can't reach.